“Diesel.”

D scowled into his glass of whiskey. He was not in the mood to listen to this woman’s bullshit.

No, not a woman. She didn’t deserve to be called that because she sure didn’t act like one. She had a lot of growing up to do yet, even though she was already in her mid-twenties.

“Diesel,” she called.

“Fuck me,” he muttered.

Hawk’s eyes were on the woman as she approached, and he muttered, “Ain’t got a choice, brother. Gotta deal with ‘er.”

“Right,” D said into his glass of amber liquid before tilting it to his lips and draining it dry.

Kelsea slid her ass onto the stool next to him. “You ignoring me?”

D twisted his neck to look at her. “Hard to do when you’re screamin’ my name across church.”

“I was trying to get your attention.”

“Well, you got it.”

“I know your pissed at Jewel—”

“Don’t know shit,” he growled.

“But don’t take it out on her. It’s all my fault.”

“She drove,” he stated. He did a chin lift toward his brother, who filled his glass again. Hawk then leaned against the counter behind the bar and crossed his arms over his chest, settling in to hear the conversation.

D took another swallow, letting the warmth of the whiskey slide down his throat into his gut.

“Yes, but I didn’t tell her everything.”

“She ask?”

Silence.

Right.

“What are you doin’ fuckin’ with a Demon?” Hawk butted in.

“He’s cool,” their cousin answered.

“What the fuck,” D muttered.

“He’s cool?” Hawk repeated. “Are you fuckin’ serious?”

“Look...” Kelsea began.

“No, you look,” D shouted, pointing a finger into her face. “Don’t be doin’ stupid shit an’ don’t be draggin’ Jewel into your stupid shit, either.”

Kelsea chewed on her bottom lip.

“Out of state. Outlaw club. Drunk an’ high fuckers. Two bitches not claimed. Your asses were hangin’ out there for anyone to take advantage,” Hawk barked. “No reason to be hookin’ up with a Demon.”

“Hawk,” Kelsea started, her eyes narrow.

“No lip,” Diesel grumbled.

“Don’t need your approval,” their cousin muttered.

D sucked in a breath, ready to rip her a new one when Hawk’s hand landed on his arm. “Brother. Step back.” Though Hawk’s voice sounded like he was under control, D knew his brother was as torqued as he was.

D released his held breath and swallowed the scorching words he was going to head Kelsea’s way. He lifted his glass and finished it off instead.

He needed more than what he drank so far to take the edge off him.

“Know you growin’ up without a father, Kels,” Hawk started, a little more calmly, “was tough. An’ with Doc doin’ life, didn’t even have a grandfather to point you in the right direction. That’s why Ace an’ me an’ D step in. Not just because D’s the enforcer. Not because we’re blood. All of us are lookin’ out for you. Whether you want it or not.”

Diesel expected her to argue, to stir up shit. But she didn’t. Instead, she nodded at Hawk, who was also just as surprised as D was.

“Got it,” she said softly. “I have to go. But D...”

She turned toward him and he steeled himself to hear whatever stupid shit she was about to say next.

“Gotta give Jewelee a chance.”

Jesus. His fingers gripped the empty glass still in his hand. He didn’t say anything as his cousin pushed off the stool and headed toward the back door. When she was gone, D returned his gaze to his brother.

“She’s fuckin’ right, brother. Gotta quit fightin’ it. Rippin’ you apart.”

“Bullshit,” D grunted.

“Can see it. Rippin’ Jewelee apart, too.”

D sucked a hard breath through his nostrils and shoved his glass toward Hawk. “Gimme another.”

Hawk smiled, shook his head and poured him another whiskey.

And not a minute later one more.

* * *

Diesel groaned and rolled to the left, hitting a soft, naked body, which dropped to the floor with a squeal.

He groaned again when he opened his eyes and the bare bulb hanging from the drop ceiling not only blinded him but shot a shard of pain through his head.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he grumbled.

He blinked and looked over the edge of the bed to see one of the sweet butts on the floor.

Tequila.

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

He couldn’t remember shit from last night except that as long as Hawk was filling his glass, he was downing them.

After that... nothing.

And, fuck him, now Tequila was pushing her naked ass up from his floor, or trying to since she was tangled up in some of his dirty clothes.

“How the fuck you get in here?”

Tequila shook off the shirt snarled around her wrist and hauled herself up to a stand.

Her fake tits didn’t even jiggle when she did so. That shit might turn other men on but it didn’t do squat for him.

He glanced down at his limp dick. “We fuck?”

With a huff, Tequila said, “No. Not for a lack of tryin’, either. Helped you up here an’ then you passed the fuck out.”

Oh, thank fuck. He was afraid he’d have to take a torch to his dick if he accidentally stuck it in her. “Why you still here an’ why you naked?”

Why the fuck was he naked? He didn’t remember taking off his clothes, either.

“Figured when you woke up we could fuck.”

D sat up in bed and cocked an eyebrow in her direction. “Ain’t happenin’. Get the fuck out.”

“D,” she whined, eyeballing his lap.

“Out!” he shouted. “Now!”

“What the fuck,” she grumbled, picking through the piles of clothes on the floor to find her own. She took her time pulling them on.

“Hurry the fuck up,” he growled. “Come back later, clean up this room an’ do my laundry. Got me?”

Her dark eyes widened, then narrowed quickly. “Ain’t your slave.”

“Fuck you ain’t. Wanna hang ‘round this club, fuck brothers, then you earn your keep.”

“Ain’t enough brothers—”

“Out!”

“Christ, you’re an asshole.”

D ignored her and swiped his cell from the nightstand, powering it up to check for messages and texts. He glanced up when she hadn’t moved. “Got thirty seconds ‘til I shove you out into the hall, with your clothes or not. Not like you wear much, shouldn’t be much to find.”

“Whatever, asshole,” she grumbled, snagging her boots from the corner of the room and tucking them under her arm. “Glad I didn’t fuck you.”

D grunted.

With a last look toward him, she huffed and then pulled his door open.

Jewel stood in the hall, her fist raised as if she was ready to knock. Her eyes widened as she faced Tequila, who cursed and shoved past her, knocking her backwards and out of the way.

Jewel lowered her hand and planted both of them on her hips, glancing from the hallway to D.

“Tequila!” Diesel bellowed, then said to Jewel, “Get ‘er the fuck back here.”

“Yo, skank, you’re being paged,” Jewel shouted down the hallway.

“What?” Tequila griped, peering her head around the door not a second later.

“Touch her again, you’re out. Come in my room again other than to clean, you’re out. Got me?”

“Whatever,” Tequila mumbled, then her head disappeared, only leaving her hand behind in the doorway as she flipped him the bird, then even that disappeared.

Jewel stayed in place watching what he could only assume was the sweet butt heading down the hall.

“Fuck you, too, Jewel,” he heard Tequila call out.

Jewel’s lips twitched and she waved an exaggerated goodbye in the other woman’s direction before stepping into his room and slamming the door shut. Then she replanted her hands on her hips as she stared at him sitting naked in the middle of his bed.

He couldn’t miss her eyes raking over his body. His dick didn’t miss it either and decided it was time to wake up.

Tequila couldn’t turn him on when she was totally naked. Jewel could do it fully dressed.

He was so fucking fucked.

“Was she good?”

He scratched the stubble on his chin and tried to figure out her mood. Since it was Jewel, he gave up on trying. He was just going to give it to her straight and she could think whatever the fuck she wanted to think. “Didn’t touch her.”

Jewel paused, then asked, “She touch you?”

He didn’t answer.

She arched a dark eyebrow. “Don’t know?” she asked, stepping closer to the bed.

“What’re you here for, woman?”

Her eyes dropped to his lap and his now hard dick. “Not that.”

He waited impatiently.

“I should have texted first, but I didn’t think you’d have Tequila in your bed.”

“Didn’t touch her,” he grumbled again.

“Yeah. I heard you the first time,” Jewel muttered.

“Then fuckin’ spill it, woman. Why the fuck you here?”

“Because...” She stepped to the side of the bed.

Now she was within arm’s reach. He could snake out a hand, snag her and have her beneath him in a few seconds flat. But he didn’t. He fisted his fingers in his lap instead.

“Because,” she began again. She took a visible breath. “I’ve decided this shit between us has to stop.”

D beat down the surprise that wanted to cross his face. “You decided.”

“Yeah.”

“Told you we shouldn’t be doin’ it in the first place,” he reminded her.

“I know.”

He snorted. “Now you decided we ain’t doin’ it anymore.”

“Yeah.”

“Fuckin’ lost your mind, woman,” he grumbled.

“No... No, I didn’t. You want to be free, you’re free.”

He frowned. “When wasn’t I free?” he asked, confused.

“You sure acted that way every time you were in my bed. You couldn’t wait to roll out. Didn’t want to be with me for longer than you had to to get off.”

Right.

She was right on that one. He couldn’t wait to roll out. But not for the reason she was thinking.

It wasn’t her. It was him.

And, yeah, maybe freedom had something to do with it.

Jewel continued, “Sex was good. No, to be honest, it was great. But I can get that elsewhere.”

His head jerked back. What the fuck did she just say?

“I didn’t want only sex with you, D. I thought I was clear about that from the beginning. I know you can get it anywhere. And so can I. However, apparently we don’t want the same thing.”

So can she?

“Where you gettin’ it?”

“What?”

His blood rushed through his veins like a freight train. “Where you gettin’ it other than me?”

“I—”

He snaked his hand out, snagged her wrist, and twisted them both until she landed onto her back on the mattress. He stared down into her face, his nose a cunt hair from hers.

“Where... you... gettin’... it?” he asked slowly.

When she tried to turn her head, he grabbed her chin firmly, holding her gaze.

“Woman,” he warned when she didn’t answer.

He watched her throat move as she swallowed. “Nowhere right now.”

Good answer.

“But, D, I’m done with this.”

“Done when I say you’re done.”

“No,” she said, her voice thick. “I’m not going to keep throwing myself at you to only be rejected.”

“Ain’t rejectin’ you when my dick’s inside you.”

“Yeah, but...”

“Want too much from me, Jewelee. Can’t give it to you. Told you that. Nothin’ changed.”

“And that’s why I’m done with this.”

“No.”

“Yes, D. Yes! I can’t keep doing this to myself.” She closed her eyes. “I can’t,” she whispered.

“Doin’ what? Just what’re you doin’?”

When she opened her mouth, the last thing he expected came out.

“Loving you when you don’t love me back.”

His chest tightened as all the breath rushed out of him and he stared down at the woman beneath him. Her head on his pillow, her hair wildly spread out around her. The spark in her blue eyes gone. Her lips turned down.

Disappointment. She was swallowed up in disappointment.

He did that to her.

He did it.

“Jesus, Jewelee,” he grumbled softly.

“Nothing changed. Nothing’s going to change. So like I said, I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

The hurt in her eyes twisted his gut. “Supposed to be keepin’ it simple,” he reminded her as well as himself.

“I know,” she said softly. “I can’t do it, D. You said I was killing you.” She tried to shake her head, but he wouldn’t release her chin. “But, truth is, you’re killing me. I have to move on.”

Hawk was right. This was ripping her apart. He should have seen it. He was a stupid fuck.

This wasn’t simple at all.

For him or for her.

And this was why he was so fucked. He knew deep down he would never be able to let her go. And that’s why he also kept coming back to her, to her bed.

He thought if he could just be with her just for a brief time here and there, he could easily pull himself back out of that hole he was sliding into.

But he couldn’t. He had fucking fallen in deep.

And he didn’t even know when it happened.

No, he knew. He just wanted to deny it.

It was the first time he took her. Made her his even though that wasn’t his intent. And since then, there hadn’t been anybody else but her.

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

“So, please, let me get up and get out of here,” she whispered, her eyes shinier than normal.

He had never seen Jewel cry. Not once. Not even while growing up. Not even when she wrecked her bicycle trying to jump a ramp the boys had set up for their dirt bikes. She screwed it up, got all banged up, skinned her knees and needed stitches on her leg. She didn’t cry that day. Hell, no. She got mad at herself for doing something stupid. And even back then, he’d recognized the frustration on her face for being unable to prove she could do what the boys could.

But now...

Holy fucking shit.

Now, he was the reason the woman was going to cry.

“Jewelee,” he murmured, sweeping a strand of her dark hair away from her face.

“D, don’t,” she begged, wiggling underneath him. “I need to go.” A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and slid into her hair.

Jesus. She really was killing him.

“Want you, woman.”

“I know,” she answered, blinking quickly. Her voice caught when she added, “But not enough.”

“Care about you,” he admitted gruffly.

“Again, not enough.”

His heart skipped a beat when he stated, “You love me.”

“Yeah,” she said on a ragged breath, another tear leaked out of her eye, rolling down her face to disappear.

He thumbed the third one away.

“Don’t know why.”

“I don’t, either,” she answered.

She was trying to be a smart ass, but what she said was probably true. He didn’t know why or how she could love someone like him. A beast like she called him.

He could be a beast. His stomach burned at the thought that he’d always be one.

He could not be what she wanted.

“Always gonna be me, woman. A beast like you say. Never gonna be soft, tender.”

“I’ve seen it.”

“No.”

“Yes, with Bella.”

“She’s my cousin. Different.”

“You protect her.”

Of course he did and always would. “Been through too much shit.”

“Yes, and you’re there when she needs you.”

“She don’t like it when she’s weak.”

“Yeah, but you still step in when she is. You help make her strong again.” Jewel slipped a hand between them and pressed a finger into his chest. “It’s inside you, D. I’ve seen it. You just don’t want to share it with me.”

She was wrong. So fucking wrong.

“And I get it. I’m not the one.”

Jesus.

“When you find the one, you’ll share it with her.”

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

“Just don’t short change yourself. When you find her, show her. Make sure she sees it, sees all of you.”

For fuck’s sake, it wasn’t a finger she had pressed to his chest, it was a knife and now she was twisting it.

“Jewelee.”

Jewel wiped a hand over her eyes. “What?”

This woman. “Need to shut up.”

She nodded slightly. “I need to go.”

He should let her go like she wanted. Roll off her, give her her freedom. Go let her find a man that will fulfill all her needs.

Because it wasn’t him.

Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

He wanted it to be him. He wanted to give her everything she needed. If he didn’t, someone else would. And there was no way he could sit back and watch that.

No fucking way.

“D, I have to go to work.”

He couldn’t stop staring at her. Her blue eyes still shiny with tears, her mouth parted slightly, the gold ring in her nose. Her long, thick lashes.

Without saying a word, he snagged his phone from the nightstand, pushed a few buttons and hit Send.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Brother, Jewel ain’t comin’ in today.” His eyes hit hers, which had widened. He listened to Crash bitch on the other end of the phone. “Don’t give a fuckin’ shit. Got a problem with it, come find me.” Crash shut up. “Right,” D grunted then hit End.

He tossed his phone, then rolled up and off her. “Go home, Jewelee.”

“What?”

He offered her his hand. “Go home. Gotta shower. Be there in thirty. Ain’t fuckin’ you in this bed.”

“What?”

“Didn’t think I stuttered, did I?”

She finally took his offered hand. “No. But I told you I didn’t want to do this anymore.”

He pulled her off the bed and onto her feet. “Woman, go home.”

“D—”

“This ain’t done.”

“What are you saying?”

“We ain’t done. Gonna figure it out. Just not here. Your place. Your bed. Me inside you.”

“That doesn’t sound like figuring it out.”

“Right. It’s a start.”

“D...”

He shook his head; he didn’t want to hear any argument. He was struggling with this as it was. “Go home, baby. Go home. Be there soon.”

Diesel saw a look cross her face. She wanted to stick to her guns, she wanted to finish this, finish them. But she was wavering.

And when she finally whispered, “Okay,” after one last look at him, she left.

He let the breath rush from his lungs and he muttered, “Thank fuck,” to the empty room.