Chapter 25

Erik

I’m an early riser by nature as I’ve always preferred working out first thing in the morning. Most of my hockey-playing life, I’ve been up by at least 6:00 A.M., whether it be to hit a frozen pond for a game with buddies or to hit the weight room to lift.

This morning is no different, despite the fact Blue and I got very little sleep last night. After that amazing, fucking stupendous sex on the couch, we hit the fridge up for some food and drink. We carried it upstairs, leaving our clothes all over the living room floor and ate a feast of hard salami, hard-boiled eggs, raw carrots, and bottled water for dinner.

We then fucked again.

Fell asleep.

Woke up.

Fucked again.

Repeated that whole process once more around 4:00 A.M. My dick feels raw and I bet Blue is sore as hell, but damn if it wasn’t worth it. My cock even stirs slightly at the thought of rolling her onto her stomach and pushing into her from behind while she’s still asleep.

Of course, it would be so much better if I could do so without worrying about a condom. We’ll just have to add that to the list of things I’d like to accomplish to push this relationship forward.

Blue is sleeping on her side, half of her body lying on top of me. I’m a back sleeper normally, usually with arms and legs sprawled everywhere, but since Blue has started sharing my bed at night I’ve changed habits. Instead, we sleep like this, her legs wound through mine and one arm across my stomach holding me tight. She sleeps with her head on my shoulder and I keep an arm locked around her waist. We sleep dead and we don’t move, our bodies apparently approving of this sleeping arrangement.

I open my eyes and lift my head. It’s 5:58 A.M. according to the digital clock on my dresser and I start making a mental list of what needs to be done. The team plane is leaving at 11:00 for our flight to Calgary. It’s a compacted trip since we had a full practice yesterday. We’ll go straight from the airport by bus to the arena where the Vengeance will have the ice for forty-five minutes. Coach said it will be a light skate, then we’ll go to the hotel for a bit of a rest and an early team dinner. Then it will be back to the arena for the game, then back on the plane to fly to Phoenix for a home game the next day.

Brutal but this is where the reclining seats on the plane come in handy to help us rest while in the air.

Lifting my head, I place a kiss on the top of Blue’s head and that causes her to stir. She’s a light sleeper anyway and also a morning person, so I don’t feel guilty.

She snuggles in tighter to me but in a husky, sexy voice that makes my dick jump, says, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I reply.

“I’m hungry,” she mutters, dipping her head back to press her lips to my throat.

“For food or sex?” I ask.

“Food,” she grumbles. “Dinner last night sucked.”

“But the sex was great, right?”

“It was amazing,” she concurs.

“Then let’s go make some breakfast,” I tell her with a pat to her bottom.

She giggles and rolls away from me. I take just a moment to stare at her naked body as she exits the bed and heads to the bathroom, twisting her hair on top of her head as she goes.

Fucking phenomenal ass. I damn sure would like to fuck it and I’m pretty sure Blue would like it too. She’s totally adventurous in bed.

When she disappears, closing the door behind her, I roll the opposite direction off the bed. I pad over to my dresser, snag a pair of workout shorts, and toss them on. I head downstairs to make us each a cup of strong coffee and get some bacon frying.

As I make my way through the great room and into the kitchen, Blue’s phone starts ringing from inside her purse that’s still on the floor amid the clothes we’d torn off last night. It’s the ringtone for the Cresson so I do something I don’t normally do, and that’s invade a woman’s purse. I pull it out just as I see Blue coming down the staircase, wearing one of my T-shirts and I hope to fuck no panties underneath. My fantasies include her leaning her forearms on the kitchen island as she drinks her coffee, and me standing behind her as the T-shirt rides up and reveals—

Blue snatches the phone from my hand with a grin, perhaps because my eyes had glazed over and she knew I was thinking dirty thoughts. I turn away to head into the kitchen to get some coffee going just as she’s answering the phone.

I stop cold in my tracks when Blue exclaims in a completely panicked voice, “What?”

My head snaps her way because of the alarm in her tone. Her face is pale, mouth pulling downward into a frown.

Blue is silent for a moment, and then her body tightens. Her hand raises and flutters nervously at the base of her neck as she listens, and my stomach starts to churn as her expression fills with pain.

“What hospital is he at?” she asks and that has me jumping into action. I grab up the discarded clothing from the floor, figuring that will be quicker to dress into rather than going back upstairs. I separate the stuff quickly, putting Blue’s on the coffee table as I get dressed as fast as possible.

By the time Blue is disconnecting, I’ve got everything on but my socks and shoes.

She doesn’t even spare me a glance but starts talking while she pulls on the pair of panties and then ripping off my T-shirt to put her bra on. “That was the director at the Cresson. Billy took a fall last night as he was being transferred from his chair to his bed.”

“And he’s in the hospital?” I ask her as I sit down to attend to my socks and shoes.

She nods, putting my T-shirt on inside out but I don’t bother correcting her. Blue could care less what she looks like and speed is of the essence here. “He…um…broke his arm. Also hit his head pretty good but they did a CT scan and there was no damage to his brain.”

Okay…that doesn’t sound too bad. It could have been so much worse but those are words I’ll keep to myself. No one wants to hear that when they’re worried about their loved one.

Blue goes still holding her sandals in her hand and turns to face me. I can’t quite pin the expression on her face, but I don’t like it. “They tried to call me last night.”

“Fuck,” I mutter as I realize that was the call I talked Blue into ignoring. “I’m sorry, Blue. Just…shit.”

She doesn’t say anything but sits down on the couch to put her sandals on.

“Which hospital is he at?” I ask her.

“St. Mary’s.”

We’re both dressed and out the door in less than two minutes, me driving the Vette and breaking speed barriers as Blue sits there quietly looking out the passenger window. I don’t know what to say to her and I’d reach out to take her hand, except she’s got them clasped tightly in her lap with her body angled slightly away from me.

I can read her body language loud and clear, so I keep silent and drive as fast as possible to the hospital.

When I’m there, I pull up to the inpatient tower where Billy had been admitted. Blue jumps out of the car without looking backward at me. I call after her, “I’ll park and be up.”

She slams the door and runs into the building.

I can’t find a spot in the main lot and have to park in an auxiliary deck to the side of the hospital. By the time I make it to Billy’s room, a good fifteen minutes has passed since I dropped Blue off at the door.

When I approach the room, I can hear Blue’s voice before I see her through the halfway open door. “I am so sorry, Billy. Please don’t be mad.”

I have never dreaded anything more in my life than pushing open that door to see this painful reunion between brother and sister. But I do it because Blue needs me.

She’s sitting on the edge of his bed and he looks pitiful. His left arm is in a cast from hand to mid-upper arm, set at a ninety-degree angle to his body. That tells me his elbow was probably involved. He’s got a white bandage taped to the left side of his head, just into the hairline and that tells me he cut his head in the fall as well. Which makes part of me glad Blue wasn’t there. Head wounds bleed like a motherfucker.

Billy’s got his face turned away from his sister, refusing to look at her. He stares stubbornly at the wall beside his bed. A nurse I hadn’t noticed before gives me a sympathetic look, and pushes past me to leave the room.

“Billy.” Blue says his name softly, and the pleading in her voice causes my chest to ache. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer the phone last night. I guess I never thought something dangerous like that could happen. But I swear to you, that will never happen again.”

Billy’s head rolls on the pillow and he brings accusing eyes to his sister. He lifts both of his arms, the one in the cast only but a few inches off his stomach where it had been resting. He curls his fingers into claws and then places the tips on his stomach, where he taps them repeatedly.

Blue watches the motion and then brings her eyes back to her brother. She reaches out, takes his good hand and says, “I know. I know you’re angry at me, and I deserve it. But please forgive me. I’ll never, ever let you down like that again.”

I move another step into the room and Blue’s head turns my way. She stares at me a moment, and then looks back to Billy, who stubbornly refuses to look at her. He rolls his head again on the pillow and takes to staring at the wall.

With a long sigh, Blue releases her brother’s hand and pushes up from the bed. She gives a jerk of her chin toward the door, indicating for us to step outside.

Blue follows me into the hallway and pulls the door to Billy’s room shut tight behind us. The nurse that was in the room stands about five feet away, typing on a laptop that sits on a standing desk with wheels.

Blue notices her and decides for more privacy, turning to walk down the hall toward the end where there’s a stairwell. She goes through the door and I follow her.

“Is he okay?” I ask as the door swings closed behind me.

She whirls on me, her face a mask of anger and guilt. Her voice is nearly hysterical when she says, “No, he’s not okay. He’s scared and in pain and incredibly hurt that I wasn’t there for him.”

I brace for more because she needs to get this out.

Instead, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes a moment. When she releases it, she looks at me with less anger but no less guilt. “I wasn’t there for him because you asked me to be there for you. And I agreed. I put my brother—”

Her voice cracks and tears fill her eyes. I take a step toward her and she holds her hands out, warding me off with a shake of her head.

“My helpless, sweet brother who lives a life imprisoned in a broken body…who has only me in this life to count on…and I put him lower than you. I can’t do that ever again.”

“So you don’t,” I make haste to assure her. “We made a mistake last night. You dedicate yourself to your brother and whatever he needs, you give it. So if you wanted to take just one night off, that was okay, Blue. It was shitty timing and luck that he fell on the one night you decide not to answer your phone, but it isn’t the end of the world.”

Blue shakes her head at me adamantly. Her eyes still hold a spark of anger but her voice is coldly detached. “No. I can’t have my loyalties torn. I turned my back on my brother when I was eighteen and left home. I abandoned him then and I’m not going to do it again. He has to be my only priority.”

I have no words. They dried up in my throat the minute she brought up her abandonment of him when she moved to LA eight years ago. I know how ashamed she is of that part of her life. I know how deeply that cuts into her conscience. If she’s equating last night to the type of emotional pain she feels she inflicted on Billy before, nothing I say right now is going to make a difference to her. I’ll have to give her time, is all.

But then she takes even that possibility away from me. “I can’t see you anymore, Erik.”

“Why?” I ask sharply. Even though I know why. She explained it clearly.

“Because you have too much power over me. I care for you too much to balance my devotion to you and to Billy. It’s just not going to work.”

“You don’t mean that,” I tell her gruffly.

“I do,” she says ever so softly but in a way that sounds like a brick wall has just risen around her. “Now…you’d better go. You need to get ready for the trip and to catch the plane. I need to get back to Billy.”

“Blue.” There’s no hiding the pleading in my voice for her to not make hasty decisions.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters and pushes past me.

I let her go.

Through the door and back to her brother.

I let her walk away from me knowing she’s not going to look back.