Standing naked in front of potentially eight million people is nothing compared to sitting fully clothed opposite my own mother and father. Especially with the looks they now have on their faces.

The large den, big enough to accommodate a family of fourteen, feels like a suffocating cocoon with the weight of accusation in the air. Mama and Daddy sit on the long couch practically wringing their hands as I sit up straight in one of the armchairs near them.

I opted to get the band-aid ripped right off as early as possible. In Rutherford, that’s practically the crack of dawn, right after a hearty breakfast.

“Disappointed doesn’t even begin to cover it. That isn’t at all how we raised you…Prynne.” At least Daddy shows me the respect of calling me by my own chosen name. “I’d say disgusted is more like it. Is that how things work out there? Maybe in New York, that Devil’s town, people are okay with showing everything God gave them, but here in Rutherford it’s still a sin.”

Here we go. I knew it wouldn’t take long for the S-word to make an appearance.

“Really, Prynne, what do you have to say for yourself?” Mama asks in her quiet way with that look of disappointment that is a much quicker route to my heartstrings than Daddy’s wrath.

“This has gone on long enough. You’ve…sown your oats and whatnot, now it’s time to grow up. Perhaps it’s time you thought about comin’ home, maybe even changin’ your name back to Faith.”

I blink in surprise at Daddy. “What? No. New York is my home.”

They both stare at me as though I’ve just announced my engagement to the Devil himself.

“Listen,” I say, trying to calm things down a bit. “First of all, I do want to apologize. I know that what I did reflects on you, on all of you, and I’m sorry about that. I embarrassed you and tainted the Flanders name. When I left, I was the one to cut ties completely, not even bothering to get back in touch. I’ll never forgive myself for that because I do miss you all so much.”

That seems to mollify them only a bit.

“But…I’m not a part of the Flanders Flock anymore. Y’all are my family and you always will be, but I can’t move back here. I was never meant to be a part of this Quiverfull movement of yours. I do want to get married and have babies, but…I want so much more than that too. I’ve never judged this life. Not once. I don’t expect the same from you. I know what you’ve seen and read is considered a sin in your book, and that’s fine. But please don’t let it come between us. I’m still your daughter after all.”

“How can you honestly expect that?” Daddy asks. “You’re right, we do consider it a sin. You’ve fallen, Prynne—I don’t think I can bear callin’ you by your God-given name anymore. It’s time for you to find grace again. That’s not going to happen out there in New York. Perhaps by coming home you can find some salvation. Maybe we can even eventually find a man who is willing to forgive what you’ve done and—”

“I have a man.” It comes out so suddenly and so fiercely, I’m as surprised as they are. Then I realize how deep that feeling is.

I have a man.

A man named Rhys Connors.

I just have to get him back.

“That man in the photos? The one you—” Mama’s face colors and she closes her eyes, literally shaking with revulsion.

“That man is Rhys Connors. And yes, he’s the man I was with at the Sexton Hotel.”

“Well if you think we’re gonna approve anything about this relationship or this man, you are sorely mistaken, young lady.”

I want to laugh but can’t bring myself to do it. They still see me as that eighteen-year-old girl defying them.

“I don’t need you to approve of him,” I say quietly. “All that matters is, he treats me right, the way I want to be treated. You don’t even know him.”

“I think that picture we saw on that website tells us everything we need to know.”

“Does it tell you how much he makes me laugh? How generous and supportive and witty and fun he is? Maybe you should actually get to know him so you have more to go on than just some sleazy photos taken by an opportunistic journalist.”

“Well, you certainly gave them plenty of opportunity.”

“Romans, chapter three, verse twenty-three. ‘For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.’”

They both blink in surprise.

Daddy is the first to recover. “Do you really think you can use the Bible against us?”

“It is how I was raised.”

He narrows his gaze. “Okay then, how about first Corinthians, chapter five, verse eleven.”

I stare at him long enough for him to realize I don’t know what it says.

“You don’t know it? Perhaps you need the Bible back in your life.” He actually reaches over to the table next to the couch where, of course, there rests a bible. He opens it and reads. “‘But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator,” he pauses for effect, to give me a good long look, “or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.’”

I exhale a laugh of resignation, then feel my hackles start to rise again. “I guess we’re trading Bible passages? What about Matthew six, fifteen?”

They both know it well, the passage about forgiving others, lest God not forgive them. Heaven knows, they used it enough to get the Flanders siblings to stop fighting with one another when we were children.

“I think,” Mama interjects, resting a hand on Daddy’s arm, “this isn’t very productive.”

I relax back into my chair and wait.

“Prynne, surely you must understand things from our point of view. How you act, even in New York is, like you said, a reflection of us. But it’s not just about our reputation or this TV show or our standing in the community. It’s about how we see ourselves as parents.”

That one actually hits home. “I understand that, Mama, I do. But perhaps you should instead see it as me being more than just a product of your upbringing. Even my brothers and sisters who live here are more than just a clone of the two of you. They have their own ways of living. Marybeth hates sewing and buys all her clothes. Elijah has always been scared of guns and hates hunting. The TV show doesn’t air it, but I know before I left, Samson drinks the occasional beer.”

“What is your point?” my father asks in a testy voice. “Are you really comparing that to the depravity we saw online?”

“My point is,” I say, trying to remain calm. “we’re our own people who make our own choices in life. Myself included. But you can still love one another despite all that. What’s the saying, hate the sin, not the sinner?”

“That isn’t part of the Bible.”

“Well, maybe it should be,” I say with a sigh, realizing we’re going in circles. “I’m going back to New York, probably tomorrow. I’m going to be with Rhys and I’m going to try and make it work. And yes, we’re going to occasionally do things that make you wonder where you went wrong with me. I’ll be back to visit now that I’m no longer in hiding. I hope you’ll welcome me into your home the way my sister has.”

I stand up and take one last look at them, then walk out.

“That badly?” Hope asks when I step out of the car I borrowed to drive to our parents’ house. She has a glass of iced tea ready for me.

“I wasn’t expecting the red carpet to be rolled out. They’re both just so stubborn.” I say, sitting to join her on the small porch swing.

“Well, now you know where you get it from,” she laughs. “So what are you going to do?”

I sigh and fall back, letting the gentle sway of the swing lull my senses. “I have to go back. I love you Hope, but I can only stand it here so much. Plus, I don’t think I could take on the entire family in one go.”

“I figured as much,” she says, taking a sip. “You were never really cut out for small town living, or being one of the flock. Heck, even I’m not, not really. Neither is Luke. Do you honestly think we’ve gone this long without using birth control? If they think I’m having twelve of these,” she rubs her stomach, “they’re crazy.”

“Hope!” I gasp.

“What? You think you’re the only troublemaker?” she laughs. “Frankly, most of us Flanders Flock violate the rules in some way or another. They just don’t show it on TV.”

“Do Mama and Daddy know what you’re doing?”

“They’re not stupid, Prynne,” she says, rolling her eyes and laughing. “Besides, they were never really as hardcore as some of the crazies in this movement are, though they don’t come out and say it. You just pushed the envelope too far for their comfort. Baby steps, Prynne.”

I laugh for a moment, then scrutinize her. “So you aren’t upset about me leaving so soon? I mean, obviously I’ll visit.”

“You’d better. Remember I’m due in October. And no, I’m not mad. Tomorrow you’ll be restless and itchin’ to get up to trouble. Sure enough, you’ll try to rope in your twin as usual.”

We both laugh at that.

“You need to be with someone who likes to get into trouble as well,” she says, sliding a sly smile my way.

“Yeah,” I say, thinking about Rhys.

“Prynne, I know you’re well out of practice, but don’t tell me you still don’t know how to pick up the phone and call.”

“I just…”

“Prynne,” Hope says, reaching out to set her glass down. “The longer you wait, the worse it will be. You didn’t call home because you were afraid of what we’d say after all this time. Do you really want to make the same mistake twice?”

Of course my twin would be able to read my mind this way. It’s like I never left.

“You’re right. I’ll call him tonight.”

I’m in bed under the homemade quilt, quietly calling Rhys with bated breath.

“Hey there girl-next-door,” he says when he finally answers. I can hear the teasing tone in his voice.

I feel myself relax, wondering how he can be so forgiving. “Hello, Rhys. I wanted to call to apologize. I shouldn’t have said what I did. It was…it was mean and underhanded.”

“It was true,” he says simply. “But interestingly enough there might be a new development with regard to that. My Dad actually apologized. We had a good little man-to-man talk about everything.”

“Really,” I say, my mood brightening. “That’s wonderful.”

“Have you heard from the Flanders Flock yet?”

“I’m actually here in Missouri.”

“Really?” I can hear how piqued his interest is.

“Yeah. My sister—my twin? She’s great of course. You were right about that,” I laugh softly so as not to be overheard. “My parents…well, that’s a more difficult mountain to climb.”

“They’ll come around.”

“Hell might actually have to freeze over first.” I pause before continuing. “Rhys, there’s something else I have to tell you.”

“Uh-oh, I don’t like the sound of that voice.”

“It’s all my fault. That night when I told you who I was, I was so nervous and excited and my voice was raised and, well, there’s no excuse, but Caryn, my roommate, she must have heard everything. She confirmed it when I confronted her.”

Rhys just hums over the phone and I wait for a response. “Well, Prynne I just have to say…” I hold my breath, “did you at least put shampoo in her toothpaste or something?”

It takes me a moment to catch on before I start giggling under the covers. “So you’re not mad?”

“Eh, as it turns out, even my parents have always known I was Mr. XO. My Dad actually listens to the show.”

“Really?” I laugh.

“Yeah,” he replies, laughing as well.

“Wow,” I muse, pondering that one. I’m pretty sure my parents would die and go to heaven before listening to Sex on the Line.

“Prynne, I just have one question.”

“What is it?” I ask, feeling my breath catch again.

He lowers his voice before speaking. “What are you wearing?”

I laugh, but my insides turn to jelly. I’ve missed that voice. “Well, seein’ as how I’m staying with my sister and her husband, a prim and proper nightgown, thank you very much.”

“Well, we’ll just have to rectify that when you get back.”

I laugh again. Rhys and I are back. I can’t wait to return to New York.

“Rhys?”

“Hmm,” he hums on the other end.

“It’s good to hear your voice. It’s one of the things I love about you.”

“Wait a sec…was that a love I heard there? Did Prynne Dawson say looove?” he teases, throwing my taunt right back at me.

“So what if I did?” I say, laughing softly into the phone. “I love your voice and your stupid sense of humor and the way you look naked and the things you do to me and—”

“Prynne,” he says softly on the other end.

“What?” I say, still feeling naughty and sassy, hidden under the covers like a teenager so no one in Rutherford can hear me.

“Just say you love me.”

My mind snaps to attention, eliminating all other thoughts so I can zero in on that one request. Love. This time without the usual teasing or offhandedness.

Love.

It’s there.

Even if it is just that faint, tiny glimmer of a promise. This thing with Rhys and me is still in its infancy, but…

It’s there.

“I love you,” I say softly. Recklessly. Hopefully. Honestly.

“Good, because I’m pretty damn sure that I love you too.”