Hamsters running in a caged wheel that went nowhere.

After sitting on a concrete bench for two hours, that’s what the flurry of activity in front of me resembled. Day after day, the students of Texas State University zigzagged across the quad without a care in the world.

Same routine. Same mundane worries.

My dad used to come home from work with tales of the precinct’s revolving door of hamsters—stupid criminals getting caught committing the same crimes. Watching the parade of uselessness, I realized criminals and ignorant college students only had a few degrees of separation.

Eventually, time got away from me, or maybe I subconsciously put off the inevitable. Regardless, before I knew it, darkness had blanketed the sky, comforting me like an old friend. Most women would be afraid to sit alone outside with nothing but thoughts as a shield, but I wasn’t most women.

Tipping my head back, I stared up at the night, my mind wandering back to a time where I believed in wishing on stars. I didn’t try to fight thoughts of Matty this time. It was useless. The more I tried to give my heart to Luis, the more it ached for the man who destroyed it. Especially on nights like this. The dark had always been our secret. It shielded us from worlds neither of us belonged in.

Knocked out of my private thoughts, I gasped as a middle-aged man stood over me in a wrinkled gray suit that had seen better days. “Can I help you?”

The wind blew his mass of salt and pepper hair as he ran his finger across the dimple in his chin. “It’s not safe for a young woman to be out at night all alone.”

“Security poles are everywhere.” I waved behind me. “I think I’m safe.”

“Are you sure about that?”

His remark caught me off guard, and something about him unnerved me. “You’re right,” I said, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind my ear while sliding to the opposite end of the bench. Standing, I stepped backward and slung my worn backpack over my shoulder. “I’m late. People are expecting me.”

He grabbed my elbow, his breath smelling of stale cigarettes and coffee. “I’d be careful if I were you.”

Warnings weren’t made to be ignored, so I ran hard and fast until I’d slammed the car door.

It was close to nine-thirty when I finally found a parking spot nestled between two huge overflowing garbage dumpsters.

God, I hated coming here. Not that I lived in the most affluent neighborhood, but the one Luis lived in usually headlined the six o’clock news. I’d contemplated doing this at my place but decided coming to him was the better option. I still had to stop by my grandparents’ house, and I was unsure of his reaction. An easy exit strategy worked in my favor.

My lukewarm feelings weren’t the only reason for my decision to end our lackluster relationship. The situation between Luis and me had gone from bad to worse. Not that either of us were ever truly invested, but he’d changed in the last few weeks. Both his recent talent for disappearing and the strange late-night phone calls were enough for me to walk away.

Or maybe I’d just been looking for an excuse. Either way, I wanted out.

With my knuckles inches from the door, I paused mid-knock as muffled voices seeped through the peeling green paint. They were low but heated as they faded deeper into the apartment. My logical side screamed at me to run, but my impulsive side ignored it and turned the doorknob with a shaking hand.

Three steps brought me into the living room and four more drew me into the hallway toward the kitchen. My insides turned to ice while a thin layer of sweat trickled down my temple. I tried telling myself the fear I felt was unfounded, and the way I hid in the corner was ridiculous. Shaking my head, I’d just pushed off the wall when the sickening sound of shattering bone ricocheted throughout the apartment.

Get out. Get out. Get out.

My brain screamed at me in warning, but my feet remained cemented to the ground.

“What do you mean it’s not done?” a heavy Spanish accent roared.

“I need more time.”

Luis. I’d recognize his slightly accented voice anywhere. Although hearing it frantic and desperate did nothing to calm my panic.

“Son of a bitch, what is it about this woman? You’ve had your orders. I’m done waiting. Get rid of her.”

Get rid of her?

“It’s not that simple.”

“No, what’s simple is you. You’ve let a woman get in your head and forgot the rules, Luis. There are only two things that tempt men like us—drugs and women. Forming an addiction to either one is suicide.”

“You think I’m stupid? This will be traced back to me and—”

Furniture skidded across the bare floor, muffling the rest of his words. A painful grunt quickly followed another crack, and I bit my tongue to keep quiet.

“Either you do it, or I will. I promise you, my way won’t be nearly as pleasant for her. Am I understood?”

A sick need to see the man who craved my suffering forced me to move. Inch by inch, I shuffled toward the kitchen, my heart slamming against my chest. Rolling my cheek against the wall, I braced myself to face my monster, but all that greeted me was a shadowy figure in a black hoodie with the sleeves pushed up.

Until he shifted, and a sliver of moonlight shined on his arm.

A grotesque skull tattoo, with the bottom half of the jaw missing, covered his left forearm. Wilted roses lined either side of the cheekbones and what was left of the teeth bit an hourglass.

I looked away and covered my mouth to stop from screaming.

“Fine,” Luis yelled so loudly I flipped around and slammed my back against the wall to avoid being seen. “I’m seeing her tomorrow. I’ll finish this, and then I’m out.”

“Muy bien.” Calming down, the man gave Luis a low chuckle. “And Luis, remember, I know everything you do.”

I stood paralyzed as their heavy steps crossed outside the patio. It wasn’t until the sliding glass door slammed that I released the breath I’d been holding.

Police. I need the police.

Just as I slid away from the wall, the glass door flew back open, and Luis paced again while punching numbers into his phone.

“I’m out of time. I need it now.” His hands pulled at his hair, outrage burning in his voice. “Fuck the plan, Hector. I have a new one. I’m getting her tonight.”

My head swam. Crouched in the corner, I was a sitting duck. My only option was to wait until his back was turned and run. Blinking back tears, I waited until Luis turned toward the glass door again. Only a few feet separated me from freedom, and as he stepped over the threshold, I ran toward it.

“Leighton? What the fuck?” Rushing toward me, he grabbed both wrists and jerked me against him. It happened so fast, I didn’t have time to scream. “How long have you been listening?” His ragged breath fanned my cheek harsh and heavy, as if an indecisive war raged inside him.

“Let me go; you’re hurting me.”

“How long, Leighton?”

His agitation fueled mine, pushing me to challenge him. “What are you involved in, Luis?”

“Damn it!” he roared, dragging me deeper into the apartment. “You weren’t supposed to be here tonight. I had this all handled.”

“Why? What are you planning to do to me?”

“We have to get out of here.” Releasing one of my wrists, he pulled a gun from the waistband of his jeans.

Shit.

“Oh my God, where did you get that?”

“Don’t be so naïve,” he hissed, rolling his eyes. “Do you think this is a game?”

I knew the minute I turned my back on him, it would be over. He’d either put a bullet in the back of my head or shove me in the trunk of his car.

“Don’t make me go to the police,” I warned, tilting my chin up in defiance.

He growled low in his throat, his inked arm lifting mine above my head. “Don’t make me stop you.”

He wanted a fight, but he wouldn’t be the first man. I knew how this conversation went. I could recite it by heart. Same entrance, same lines, and from what I could smell, the same half bottle of Jack Daniels on his breath.

“Look, all I came here to do was break up with you. I didn’t see anything. Just let me go, and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”

“Oh, you think it’s that simple?” He smiled. “I’m the only one standing in the way of your worst nightmare. Leighton, listen to me—”

I cut him off with a bloodcurdling scream. Shocked, he lunged forward and cupped his hand over my mouth. The impact knocked us both off balance, slamming my head into the wall. As a sharp pain throbbed in my skull, the kitchen light cast a faint glow on his face, and in my haze, years faded away. Whiskey no longer swam in his eyes. It was the devil himself.

That was the moment my conscience abandoned me. Blood rushed through my veins and filled my ears as I grasped for the gun. We struggled, his aggression spurring me on. Curses flew from both our mouths as we tangled, his much larger body spinning me around while trying to wrestle me to the floor.

I will not die here.

“Fucking let go, Leighton!”

He stumbled. I stumbled. He shoved. I shoved. We moved in perfect sync, dancing a deadly tango. Only this dance would end with a bullet in between my lips instead of a rose. However, Luis underestimated me. He wasn’t the first monster I’d fought, and he wasn’t the first devil I’d outrun.

The minute his ankles hit the coffee table, time stopped. I watched his legs fly out from under him, crashing through the glass and taking me with him. Our chests slammed together with our hands tangled around the trigger.

I screamed just as the gun went off and waited for the pain. When it didn’t come, I rolled off Luis and scanned the front of my sweatshirt. It was soaked—saturated with deep crimson red, but it was perfectly intact. It didn’t make sense.

Then Luis coughed, and I forced myself to climb onto my knees and face it. The right side of his stomach bloomed dark red over his white T-shirt, and his eyes fixated on my hands. They spoke louder than any words ever could.

Look what you did.

Look at yourself.

So, I did. They were sticky and warm, the tips dripping like a faucet, while still holding the gun.

“No!” All I heard was the roar of my own voice as I dropped the weapon and jerked Luis’s shirt up.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

I swallowed back vomit while pressing both hands against his stomach. Pressure was good. Pressure would stop the bleeding. But it didn’t. Liquid oozed between my fingers, and the harder I pressed, the faster it seeped.

“Luis!” I screamed, lowering my face to his in a panic. “I didn’t mean it!”

His response was a gurgle. Maybe it was my name. Maybe it was a plea for help, or maybe it was him cursing me to hell. It didn’t matter. If he died, I had a secured reservation. With one last cough, his eyes glazed over, and he never moved again. I felt numb, staring blankly at him as the reality of what I’d done set in.

A strangled sob spilled out as I crawled in a daze toward my purse. It took four tries to pull out my phone and dial the number I knew by heart.

“Lil’ Bit? It’s late. Are you okay?” My brother sounded sleepy. Part of me immediately regretted calling him, so I said nothing. I couldn’t. Once I spoke the words, they were real.

“Leighton?” he repeated, this time sharper and more alert. “Leighton, answer me.”

“He’s dead.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Who’s dead?”

“My boyfriend. I killed him.” The words came so easily I wondered if I’d really said them. “I’m at his apartment. He...he was going to hurt me.”

“Fuck.”

Static filled the line, or maybe it was the static in my head. Whichever it was, a long pause sent my pulse racing. “Brody?”

He cursed again. “Are you on your own phone?”

“Yes.”

“Have you called the police?”

“No.”

“Good, don’t. Listen very carefully. Don’t touch anything. I need you to get anything out of there that’s yours or that has your information on it. Anything, Leighton. Pack your bags and come to Houston now. I’ll take care of it.”

Warning lit every nerve ending. Brody was always the rational one of the two of us. He was my calming voice of reason in the eye of a storm. We had a process—I fucked up, and he fixed me. Our process couldn’t fail me now. But what he was suggesting…

“The police...”

“Leighton!” he yelled. “I’m going to protect you, but you’ve got to keep your head clear. Understand?”

I nodded, as if he could see it.

“I need you to say the words.”

I smiled in spite of the situation. “I understand.”

I never questioned him again as he barked a few more instructions and hung up, announcing he had to make another call.

But maybe I should have.

Doing exactly as he told me, I bagged up what I could find, wiped down what I’d touched, and threw on one of Luis’s hoodies. As I drove away, I realized it should’ve bothered me that the assistant district attorney of Harris County encouraged me to leave the scene of a crime. My brother’s calm response to my admission of murder should’ve been a bright red flag.