Mateo’s admission was like a punch in the stomach. “How can you say that?”

I didn’t want to believe it. Although I’d held onto years of anger at being abandoned, some part of me still held out hope that somewhere he regretted walking away. I imagined the two of us meeting again—maybe by chance, maybe by fate, but always with an apology.

Not this.

He let out a breath, the little line between his eyebrows deepening. “Leighton, when you asked me to leave with you, I agreed because I thought the reason was me. I thought all the secrecy had finally gotten to you and you wanted to leave everything behind for me. To be with me.” He slammed his palm over his chest, bitterness in his tone.

“I did!”

“No, mi amor, you didn’t. You wanted me to be your escape. You knew I’d fight to the death for you.” He paused, his expression a mix of allegation and pain. “I think you counted on it.”

I avoided his eyes. If I didn’t, I was afraid he’d see the truth. “You’re wrong. I loved you.”

“That may have been true, but you were using our love as a shield against a secret you didn’t want to face.” Closing the distance between us, he lifted my chin. “You’re still doing it now.”

“No, Matty, please don’t do this.” I couldn’t handle the destruction of the perfect lie I’d held onto for so long.

“Fine, let’s talk about something else.” A storm raged over Mateo’s face. His gorgeous features twisted into an infuriated mass of narrowed eyes and hard-set lines as he stomped across the room and grabbed my purse off the floor. Dumping everything out onto the coffee table, he picked up my phone and typed in my password, bringing up my screen.

“How...”

He didn’t bother glancing up as he scrolled through my phone. “Your passcode is 1003. October 3^rd. The day Star met Matty. I told you I knew you better than anyone, remember?” Finding what he was searching for, he turned it around. “Who have you been calling?”

As much as I wanted to throw up as Alex’s number stared me in the face, a sick part of me was relieved to see it. It was over. I didn’t have to lie anymore. However, as relieved as I was, I still couldn’t force my mouth to say the words.

Mateo’s expression never changed. “I’m going to give you the chance to come clean one more time before I dial it myself and we find out the hard way.” I gripped my torn dress with shaking hands as he closed the remaining distance between us. “Who have you been calling?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“What I think?” He let out a laugh so loud I jumped. “What I think is that you’ve been reporting back to Agent Alex Atwood right under my nose, behind my back, and in my bed.”

The last three words were said with such vehemence I almost missed the hissing of Alex’s name.

Oh my God, he knew.

“Yeah, that’s right, I know his name,” he said, reading my mind. “I know all about him, including the fact he had you cornered at the party.”

There was no use denying it now. The only thing left to do was throw myself at his feet and hope he had a shred of feeling left for me.

But I couldn’t stand seeing that damn number staring at me anymore. Shoving his hand away from my face, I tried to sound apologetic while still standing my ground. “Yes, all right? Yes, I’m still talking to the DEA, but I haven’t given him anything to hurt you or Brody.”

Jerking his elbow back, Mateo threw my phone across the room. “Goddamn it!”

Luckily, it landed face down on the couch cushions, but his reaction left me in terror of what was now my reality. “Just listen to me, all right?” I begged, reaching for his arm. He didn’t immediately pull away, so I grasped onto that and kept going. “Yes, I should’ve told you, but I swear, I have a good reason for doing it.”

A cruel smile painted his lips. “What, a nice relocation package to go along with your betrayal?”

“You’re a hypocrite,” I shot back. “You demand honesty, but I deserve it too. Did you know Luis before I came back to Houston?”

“What’s with all the questions?”

I swallowed hard, my hands flexing at my sides.

Do not back down.

“I need to know if you came here because Brody asked you to or to finish the job Luis started.”

Seconds passed, and I fought the urge to run. Mateo’s calmness was almost worse than his rage. I had no idea if he was about to kill me or walk out. In some sick way, both were equally terrifying.

Finally, he raised a finger and held it between us. “I’ve already warned you never to compare me with Delgado. Do you honestly believe I’d ever do anything to hurt you? Dios mío, Leighton, I’ve been doing everything in my power to keep you safe, despite your constant efforts to undermine me.”

I let out a relieved breath. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. You ask me to make a choice to blindly follow you, but you won’t even own up to your own choices.”

“My choice to what...get arrested?” His finger lowered and balled into a fist that he punched against his chest. “To live my life after the woman who said she loved me disappeared without a trace?”

“No, your choice to ignore the truth once you got out,” I screamed, fighting back tears. I refused to cry during my moment of vindication. “Yes, I made mistakes, but I stand by all of them. You can’t change your decisions, so don’t you dare question the ones I was forced to make on my own.”

“What truth? What am I missing here?” He looked so confused that the fight drained out of me.

“Just forget about it,” I whispered, turning to walk away.

“Damn it, Leighton, stop shutting down on me.” Frustrated with my dismissal, he blocked my path with both palms pressed against my shoulders “You want to fight, let’s fight. You want to fuck, let’s fuck. But I won’t let you lock yourself back in my closet.”

I stared up at him, his ultimatum resonating on the most basic of levels. Normally, it was Mateo’s restrained darkness that called to me, daring me to close my eyes and step off the ledge. But tonight, the rules I’d followed my whole life had failed me. I stood here tattered and outplayed. I was tired of living in fear. I was tired of living a lie.

But mostly, I was tired of talking.

Releasing what was left of my dress, I let it drop to my feet. Mateo’s shocked gaze followed the falling material, and I stood before him completely naked, not saying a word until his eyes settled back on my face. “I want to fuck.”

I expected to be slammed against the wall, bent over the couch, or at the very least pushed to the floor. I’d never been much of a dirty talker, so I figured the shock value alone would’ve tripped Mateo’s need to control me. It’d always been his thing. I guess taking orders all his life manifested itself as a need to dominate in the most primal way. However, I let out a yelp as he scooped me into his arms and carried me down the hallway and into the bedroom.

I had to fight to form words. The way he laid me reverently on the bed and gazed down at me while unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off his chest left me breathless and confused. This wasn’t him. This wasn’t us. Mateo wasn’t a mattress kind of guy.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice hoarse as I watched him push his jeans down his thighs. “You said if I wanted to fight, we’d fight, and if I wanted to fuck, we’d fuck. I said I wanted to fuck.”

“I’m adding a third option.”

“Which is?”

Kicking his jeans across the room, he leaned over me, entwining our hands and pressing them by my head. “If you want to make love, we’ll make love.”

I shook my head, the feel of his heavy cock brushing against my inner thigh making me squirm. “I don’t want that.”

“That’s too bad, mi amor. I do. See, I think you want me to fuck you because you want a reason to hate me. You want me to hurt you because you need someone to blame for what’s really tearing you up inside.” Licking his lips, he grazed them across my jaw. “Well, tough shit, little lamb. I won’t be him.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? I think you don’t want to make love because you’ve forgotten how it feels.” Shifting his hips, he rubbed his thick shaft against my wetness. “Let me remind you how good it can be.”

The whimper he dragged out of me proved he was wrong. I remembered how good it felt all too well. I also remembered how bad it eventually hurt. How it stripped me to my bare soul and left me bleeding. Making love with Mateo wasn’t just physical. It was emotional. Once we truly made love, I’d fall. I’d lose myself and belong to a man who could never fully belong to me.

He kissed my lips, softly and gently, drinking the last of my willpower until it was gone. The whole night, our fight, the accusations, all the lies...everything vanished the minute his body sank into mine. Choking out a strangled version of his name, I arched my back off the bed.

“Esto es amor, mi estrella.” This is love, my star.

He took me just as he promised—slow and steady while staring in my eyes the whole time. His body shook with need, but he held himself back until I came two more times. Then, and only then, did he give in and fill me with not only himself, but every promise he’d made.

And just like that, I fell.