- Aiden -
’m so embarrassed,” Chelsea said, bringing one hand to her forehead.
“You don’t need to be embarrassed.”
“I thought if I came here and you saw me and-”
“What?”
“I thought you might take me back.” She slumped on a velvet cushioned conference chair. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I thought if we could just have one more day together, you would remember what you liked about me and not hate me so much.”
“I don’t hate you,” I said, grabbing a chair and setting it down beside her.
“You don’t?”
“No,” I said, reconciling myself to the fact that I was dealing with a crazy person. “I just want you to be happy, and you’ll never be happy with me.”
Her shoulders slumped over so I could see the bones in them. “I was once though.”
“I know,” I said. “And we had some good times.”
She nodded.
“But it was never going to work out. You deserve to be with someone even richer and better looking than me.”
She laughed and looked up dragging a finger under each eye.
“Seriously, Chelse. You’re a gorgeous girl, and I know you think we were happy, but you wouldn’t have been cruising for dates on Tinder if you were.”
She pursed her lips.
“Ya know?”
She reached out and put a hand on my knee. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’ll be fine eventually, but only if you let me move on.”
She swallowed.
“Does that make sense?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it fair to say that I was good to you, that I did a lot of nice things for you while we were together?”
“Yeah.”
“So can you do something nice for me, and give me space so I can get over you?”
She sighed.
“Will you do that for me?”
She nodded.
“I need you to not show up at my place or at family parties. I need you to acknowledge that our relationship is over.”
She looked down at her lap.
“So I can heal.”
“Okay, Aiden.”
“Thanks, babe. I really appreciate it.”
“I can’t tell you what it means to hear you say that.” She pushed some hair out of her face. “After you threw me out the way you did, I thought I didn’t mean anything to you at all.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, expecting my Oscar to arrive any minute. “I’m just hurting really bad right now and seeing you, well, it’s too difficult.”
She pursed her lips.
“I’m finally beginning to accept the fact that I don’t have what it takes to be your dream guy, but you need to show me some compassion and leave me be.”
“Does that mean we can’t be friends?”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “It’s too painful.” And annoying and draining and what are you still doing here?!
“I guess I’m just scared because no one ever cared about me like you did.”
“Yet,” I said. “Other people will, but only if you let what we had go and put yourself out there.”
“Do you mind if I do a line?”
“What?”
“You can have one if you want,” she said, lifting her purse off the floor and taking out a small baggie.
I leaned back and ran my hands through my hair. “Shit, Chelsea.”
“Sorry.” She scooped a little clump of coke on the underside of her nail and snorted it up her nose with a wince.
“I fucking knew you were high.”
“I was sort of nervous about coming here. I thought it would help calm me down.”
“Will you put that away?” I said.
“You sure you don’t wan-”
“Put it away.” I wanted to tell her she needed help- offer to help her even- but I knew better. I’d already done that till I was blue in the face, and I didn’t want to leave the door open for her to ambush me again. This had to be the last time.
She sealed the bag and slipped it in her purse.
“And don’t offer it to anyone else, okay? This is not that kind of party.”
She took a deep breath. “I guess I should go then.”
“That’s probably for the best.”
“Will you tell Claire I said congratulations?”
“Why don’t you tell her yourself?”
“I don’t know. I feel kind of awkward now that I know I’m not wanted here.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said. “I’ll go in with you. You can say you just stopped by to wish her well, and I’ll walk you out. No one will think anything of it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. It’s only weird you stopped by if you don’t say hi to Claire.”
“Okay.” She stood up and smoothed her dress down over her hip bones.
I cocked my arm out to the side so she would take it.
“Thanks, Aiden.”
“Thank you for agreeing to let me move on with my life, no matter how hard it is.”
The ego stroking seemed to be working, and I walked down the hall with Chelsea on my arm for the last time. It was weird because it didn’t feel any emptier than it ever did. Even in the beginning when we were fucking like rabbits and I thought she was the hottest girl I’d ever seen, she never felt that substantial on my arm.
Maybe it was just the fact that she was clinically underweight or maybe it was because I never felt accompanied by much more than her physical presence. Regardless, I could tell something was missing and that simply having a hot girl on my arm wasn’t enough for me anymore.
“Claire,” I said, approaching her table. “You remember Chelsea?”
“Of course,” Claire said, standing. “How are you?”
“Great,” Chelsea said.
“I know Chelsea and I aren’t together anymore,” I said too loudly, “but she was always fond of you, and when she said she was going to be in the neighborhood, I insisted she stop by to offer her congratulations to you and Dave.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Claire said, picking up on my intonation in a way Chelsea never would.
Chelsea shrugged her shoulders and put her arms out. “Congratulations anyway.”
“You are so sweet,” Claire said, hugging her back.
“Well,” Chelsea said. “I better be going.”
“Can I walk you out?” I asked.
“No, I’ll see myself out.”
“You sure?”
Chelsea nodded. “Can I get a hug for the road?”
I reached out and took her in my arms, conscious not to squeeze to tight and give her the wrong idea- or god forbid, crush her ribcage. “Take care of yourself.”
“Thanks,” she said. “You too, Aiden.”
She smiled and backed away a few steps before turning around and walking out of the room, attempting to swing her hips side to side enough to create the illusion that she actually had some.
As soon as she cleared the corner, I let out the heaviest sigh of the day yet.
“What the heck was that about?” Claire asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.”
“Taking the break up hard, huh?”
“I don’t know how to say this, but I think her biggest problem with the breakup was that I didn’t take it harder.”
“Good lord.”
“I basically just stroked her ego and begged her to give me space so I could finally heal and move on.”
Claire raised her eyebrows. “And she bought it?”
“She’ll buy anything.”
“As long as it’s with someone else’s money.”
“Bingo.” I looked around the room. Most people were out of their seats and lingering around the bar or the dance floor. “Where are Mom and Dad?”
“I think Dad finally got drunk enough to dance so Mom dragged him out there.”
I looked into the crowd, relieved that whatever they were doing wasn’t obvious from far away. “Have you seen Lucy around?”
“She went to look for you.”
“What?”
“Mom and I were concerned when we saw Chelsea and thought someone should go after you to make sure you were okay.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Lucy said she would do it.”
“Why?”
“Probably so we wouldn’t.”
I exhaled. “If you see her, will you tell her I’m looking for her?”
“Of course.”
But something told me she was gone.