I don't share my memories with anyone. I've kept all but one photo of my family, which is of Noah and I, and it’s located in my office. I've kept the rest of them hidden in a box in the farthest part of my closet. Hiding my pain.

I thought we were enjoying the whole reminiscing thing. I thought she wanted to know more about me. But judging by the way all color has drained from Mila's face, I'm guessing she may be having second thoughts about traveling down memory lane together. Maybe it's too much too soon? "Babe, you alright?" I ask her as I place the old shoebox on the coffee table.

Her response. Silence.

"Kitten," I say to grab her attention. Her hands are shaking with the photo held tightly in her grip.

"Five years ago, I was here for the summer with Grams. Every summer I spent here was exciting, but that year…" her thoughts seem to wander as she continues to look down at her lap, "As I told you before, I never went out. No parties. I didn’t hang with kids my age. I usually always spent my time with Grams. Not that she never encouraged me to experience things a normal teenager would love to do. It was just… anyway, that summer before I was to go home I met this guy one afternoon down at the drugstore when I was picking up Grams' medicine. At first, I was shocked he even talked to me," she finally looks up at me, with red-rimmed eyes threatening to spill tears. She is finally opening up to me now. Finally sharing more pieces of herself with me. I urge her to continue by lowering myself to the floor sitting across from her.

After sucking in a gulp of air, Mila releases it and continues. "He invited me to a small party his friends were throwing him," her lips turn up in a small smile at her memory of that day. "I think he could tell I was going to say no, so he gently grabbed my hand and said please. For the first time, I didn’t overthink anything and I said yes. He gave me the address, and a few hours later I showed up on the doorsteps of a stranger's home nervous and scared out of my mind as to how far out of my comfort zone I was."

It never dawned on me until now. All the times she came for the summers I never saw her. No. I would remember seeing her kind of beauty around town. I wouldn't have forgotten anything about her. Perhaps I was so caught up in my own life I merely never noticed. I would have been prospecting at the time, so it's not surprising I didn’t. Back then my days were filled with either working with my pops building houses or paying my dues with the club. I didn’t have too much time for much else those days.

"He was the one who met me at the door," Mila continues talking, "He walked me through the house where the party was just getting started. I didn’t know anyone there. I think he sensed my hesitation and nervousness. Because he continued to weave through the crowd only stopping to grab a few beers from a cooler near the back door and walked us outside," leaning back against the couch Mila picks up her glass of wine she has sitting on the coffee table and takes a sip. "We spent all night outside in the cool summer air talking about things like him going off to college and how I wasn’t looking forward to going to law school. He seemed genuinely happy with life. I remember feeling so jealous of how easy life appeared to be for him." She shifts becoming noticeably uncomfortable as she continues to share with me. "The whole time I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was very good looking. Tall. I would say about your height," she looks at me, "blond hair and blue eyes."

I want to hear her story, hear about her past. I want to know everything there is to know about Mila Vaughn. What I'm not too keen on listening to is the attraction she had for another man. I see where the storytelling is leading up to. I already feel my body heat starting to rise with the thought of another man having touched her body the way I have. Trying to squash my jealous feelings, I reach out to grasp her hand in mine and intertwine our fingers.

"I'm not going to go into detail with you as to what happened a short time later. It was my choice. I wanted to feel alive for once, and he made that happen for me. For one night, I felt normal. I felt free." She tells me.

He was a lucky son of a bitch. No way in hell I could have let her go that summer night. The guy didn’t know what he was holding; who he was letting go. He had to have been blind to chalk one night with Mila up to a once in a lifetime experience. "Ava's father," I confirm.

Wetting her lips, she nods her head, "Yes, he's Ava's father."

"I hope you don’t mind me asking, but why isn’t he in her life?" I've always wondered this, but never wanted to ask because there was never a moment that felt right until now. Until she felt she could open up to me about who he was. Anyone who can walk away from their kid gets no fuckin' respect from me. You don’t create a life and then abandon them. That scenario resonates too deep with me. You don’t have to love the other person to take care of your responsibilities. You shouldn't have the right to fuck a kid up like that. You're giving the gift of life. You don’t throw something like that away. I sound angry and bitter because I am. Being the product of a parent abandoning me I feel very strongly about the subject. My life was damn good even though my mom decided she didn’t want us anymore, but it would be a lie to say I didn’t have any underlying effects from it. "Well hell, babe. I grew up in this town. I don’t think you've ever mentioned his name before. Maybe I know the guy or know of him. Shit, I may have gone to school with the asshole," I express. Hell, yeah, I want to know his name. I would like to find out straight from the source why he didn’t step up. I'll find the fucker one way or another.

Mila's grip on my hand tightens. A few silent minutes pass as I wait for her to speak his name.

"Reid… I… Oh my god. I hope I'm wrong, but I don’t think I am. I… his name was…" She stammers as she starts to sob softly. "I found out I was pregnant at the end of the summer before I left to go back home. That night—It was supposed to be just one night. We agreed. Or he reluctantly went along with what I wanted. I couldn’t risk my heart when I knew I couldn’t have anything more. My parents wouldn’t allow it. I tried to find him before I left. I didn’t purposely keep it from him," she frantically says as she gets more worked up. I never once thought she was the type to hide something as important as that from anyone.

"Babe, take a breath. Calm down for me," I coax her.

Taking a few more deep breathes, attempting to shake her nerves, she swipes her eyes with the back of her free hand.

"When I went back to the house where the party was that night," she says looking me in the eyes, "Some guys I briefly met in passing were sitting on the front porch. I walked up to them asking them where I could find him," Tears rolls down her cheeks, and I try to wipe them away only for new ones to spill down the same path.

"They told me he died. He was killed in a car crash a few days after I had met him," she continues to stare at me. A feeling of eeriness washes over me. To the point my heart starts to pound like a jackhammer. Summertime. Blond hair. Blue eyes. Car crash. MY hometown. Five years ago. No. No, it can't be. It's just a fucked-up coincidence. I swallow past the large lump in my throat and ask her again, "What's his name?"

With a shaky breath, she announces, "Noah."

Immediately my hand releases hers, and she rushes to say, "But I never got his last name, Reid," she says reaching for the very hand that let go of hers. I don’t know how to process this news. Robotically, I get to my feet. Afraid I may say the wrong thing. Not wanting to upset her with the mess I'm feeling consumed by on the inside, I walk to the kitchen and grab my cut from the back of the chair. Slipping it on, I grab my keys from the kitchen counter and walk towards the door. With my hand on the knob, I look over my shoulder at her. She is still sitting on the floor. Every emotion she is feeling etched on her beautiful face. The same emotions are cutting me up on the inside. "I need space. I need to clear my head for awhile," I open the door, but make sure to tell her before stepping out of it, "I love you, Kitten."

Closing the door behind me, I go down the stairs and hop on my bike hoping the road will help clear my head.

Riding until the sun has nearly set and no closer to sorting out my shit, I decide to ride out to the clubhouse. When I get there, the guys' bikes are parked outside. With a boulder sitting on my shoulders, I pull mine alongside Quinn's before finding my way inside. I see them all sitting at one of the round tables with a bottle of Jameson seated in the middle of the table partially drunk. I'm not a big drinker. Never have been but considering the last few hours, I decided tonight I want it. I need to quiet the noise in my head.

"Hey, brother." Gabriel greets me.

I don't say a word. Pulling a chair out, I plant my ass in it and reach for the bottle and pour some into a shot glass. Lifting the shot glass to my lips, I down it and pouring another. I repeat the process two more times before I lean back in my chair. I take in the shocked and worried looks on all their faces as I glance around the table.

"What the fuck's goin' on?" Logan asks, taking a long pull from his cigarette.

Where the fuck do I begin?

"Noah." It’s the only word I can get to leave my lips. I'm at a complete loss as to how I say it. Say it out loud.

"What about him, brother?" Logan pours himself a shot.

I hadn’t even realized the day was closing in. For once I haven’t been focused on it. I've been living again. With Mila. Blowing out a breath of air, I tell them. "Noah is Ava's father,”

"What? No fuckin' way, man. Stop bullshitting us," Quinn laughs.

I lean forward and place my elbows on the table and hang my head. "I wish I were. Mila and I started sharing memories. Sharing more of our pasts with each other while sifting through photographs. She asked to see pictures from my childhood. What I have has been kept in a box. And you all know I haven’t displayed any pictures for a long time. After seeing a picture of Noah, she put her past from five summers ago together with a ghost from the past she was holding in her hands," I reach for the liquor bottle again. My brothers wait for me to explain further after I down one more shot.

"She only knew his first name. He invited her to a party. You know that night his friends threw him a going away party just before we had the one for him out here?" I remind them all.

"That was one hell of a party," Quinn adds.

Everyone looked out for Noah. He wasn't just my brother, he was theirs too.

I continue, "She said before she left for New York is when she found out she was pregnant and went back to the only place she thought to find him," I look around the table, "His old friend's house. That’s when they had to inform her he died a few weeks prior in a car crash."

Fuck. The more I think about it… damn.

"That's some heavy shit, brother," Gabriel rumbles.

"She comes to this revelation and pours her soul out to you, and you're sittin' here instead of holding your woman?" Quinn sits across from me and asks.

"I need time to process everything. To think." I tell him.

"What the hell is there to think about? Do you love her?" he asks me.

"Yes," I reply. There is no doubt Mila is it for me.

"Ava is a part of Noah; she is a part of you, Reid. Your flesh and blood. Let that sink in before the whiskey you've consumed fogs your brain," Gabriel states.

He's right. Holy shit, he's fuckin' right. I've got a piece of my brother asleep in the bed at home. A little girl who has me wrapped around her little finger. And the more my mind is filled with the image of her sweet face the more I see him in her. She looks just like him. Blonde hair, blue eyes, her zest for life. She is so optimistic about everything. Smart as hell. She is every bit like Noah was, with all the caring heart and sass of her momma. My mind flashes back to the dream I had weeks ago.

"I'm not going to California, Reid. Everything is just as it should be. It's time for you to take your life back. I need you to do something for me. I'm counting on you not to let me down.

I'm not a person who shares their feelings. Never have been. I suck it up. I keep everything bottled up inside. But I'm also fuckin' human. It takes its toll. It doesn’t matter how much of a man I am or the fact I'm a biker. None of that shit matters now. Something deep down in my soul breaks free. Swallowing, I choke on the emotions that seem to be suffocating me. My brothers don’t say a word. They sit with me. They give me support without words or judgment. They have my back. Out of all the moments in my life leading up to this one, this time it means the most. We pass the bottle around a few more times. Logan and Gabriel call their women to let them know they won't be driving home tonight. Only because they got shit-faced with me while we talked about the past and talked about the plans we are making for our futures.

Every one of mine includes Mila and Ava by my side.