Chapter One
Amara
I’m not speaking to him until he apologizes for being the world’s biggest jerkface. I tap my pen on the book. I’m supposed to be studying, but I’m not really comprehending any of the words. The nursing state test is less than two weeks away, and I’m far from ready.
I blame my brother.
He’s an arrogant jerk. Not completely, but it’s true right now. I love my brother. He’s my best friend and always will be but throat punching him seems like a good idea.
“Dinner’s ready.” Baylor, my boss and Alden’s girlfriend, taps on my ajar door.
“Is he here?”
She comes further into my room. “You know he is. Come have dinner.”
“I’m studying.” I stare intently at the book in front of me, but I’m only pretending to be looking at the words.
“I’ll bring up a plate to you,” she softly says before closing the door.
I absolutely love Baylor. She and my brother haven’t been together long, but they’re meant to be. Along with Baylor came her ten year old son, Kace, whom I adore. He’s bright, sweet, and a ball of energy. In the past couple weeks, he’s taken to call me Aunt Amara and Alden, Dad. I love the new title. It made me feel special, considering I’ll never be a mom. Although I’m not sure where Alden stands with Baylor on the issue.
I give up on studying as she brings in a plate of food. I turn on my TV and try to focus on anything. My phone alerting me of texts makes my heart flutter.
Nathan: What are you doing?
Nathan: Alden still isn’t talking to me.
Nathan Paxton is the reason he isn’t talking to me. Nathan is the starting goalie for the New Hampshire Bears. The same team my brother plays on. Alden has a rule I can never date a hockey player. Nathan and I haven’t even been on a date. We’ve simply been texting back and forth. There’s flirting between us and I thought he was going to ask me out a couple of weeks ago. Instead he wanted Alden’s blessing, but it blew up in his face. Alden told him to stay away from me.
And here we are…
... texting like teenagers
... hiding from Alden.
Me: Watching M*A*S*H. You? And no Bro isn’t talking to me either.
Nathan: What is it about you and that show? I’m reading the new Thor comic. Thor is a girl now.
He’s a huge fan of comic books. He’s always reading. He loves them.
Me: I thought Thor was Chris Hemsworth?
Nathan: He is, but this is after him. A new generation.
Me: Oh! Will she be in the movies?
Nathan: Not yet but give it time.
I desperately stare at the screen and hope he’ll ask me out again. But it hasn’t happened.
Nathan: Are you coming to the game?
Me: Yes.
The Bears are playing a game seven–do or die–game. The second round of the playoffs have been tough, but I know they can pull off the W.
Nathan: I hate game 7s.
Me: I do too, but you guys got this.
Nathan: Teo and I have been hitting the gym hard today.
Me: Don’t do it too much. Is your family coming into town to see the game?
Nathan: Dad is supposed to, but no confirmation on the others yet.
As much as he and I talk, I know the hardships in his life. His mother died of cancer when he was young. His father’s new marriage added two half-brothers for him. Plus he struggled to get into the PHL. Nathan had been in the minor leagues until the Bears gave him a shot two seasons ago when Teo, the starting goalie at that time, began to slack off. From that point on, he became the starting goalie and has been ever since.
Me: I hope he comes. I know you’ll shine.
Nathan: You seem to be the only one who thinks I can.
Me: Not true. All the guys do too.
Nathan: Alden would rather light me on fire than to look at me.
Me: He wants to do the same to me.
Nathan: I did try to explain to him we weren’t going to be together, but he won’t listen.
I must have read the text ten times. He doesn’t want to be with me. He clearly said it and even told Alden.
Me: So, we’re just friends?
The tears burn my eyes as I push send.
Nathan: It’s easier if we were just friends.
I sit behind the front counter with a smile, greeting the customers and answering the phones. I love my job at INK Palace. Baylor and the girls greeted me with open arms. I adore all the girls because they’re unique in their own way.
“Amara.” Baylor calls me over to her as she works on a client. “Could you please pick up Kace?”
“Of course.”
“I want to get this done today.” She nods toward the man who’s laying on her table with his naked ass cheeks being tattooed with tigers.
“Gotcha.” I give her a thumbs up and go back to grab my keys and phone.
I love Kace. The kid is smart, funny and is just adorable to be around. He can turn my whole day around.
As I drive to his school, I have Florida Georgia Line’s latest album on Spotify. It’s really speaking to me. Especially “H.O.L.Y.” Will I ever find true love like the one songs are made of? A love like Baylor and Alden. At the rate I’m going I’ll be a virgin forever. Hell, I’ve never been kissed on the mouth. How sad am I? A twenty-one year old, never kissed virgin freak.
“Aunt Amara!” Kace yells. His mop of black hair is messed up. He styles it like Alden, but it just really sticks up everywhere.
“Hey, Buddy.” I hold my arms out and he rushes into them. “How was school?” I ask as I open the backseat door for him.
“Can we call Mom? I have to tell her something important.” He buckles his seatbelt.
“Of course.” I hit my Bluetooth command to call Baylor.
“Hello.” She comes over the speakers.
“Mom, guess what? I’m running for class president next year.” He announces. “It’s my first step of becoming the President of the United States.”
I hold back my laughter. Kace has big dreams and his ambition is admired.
“That’s great, honey. I’m proud of you,” Baylor says. “I’ll see you in a little bit. Love you.”
“Love you, Mom.”
When I end the call, he asks to call his dad. I’ve not spoken to Alden in almost two weeks. This should be interesting.
“What, Amara? I don’t want to talk right now.”
“Tais-toi. Je ne veux pas non plus parler. Votre fils veut vous parler.” Shut up. I don’t want to speak. Your son wants to talk to you. I cut him off before he can say anything else. One, I don’t want to discuss this in front of Kace. Two, I sure as hell don’t want to talk to Alden either.
“Hey, Buddy. What’s up?”
Kace tells him the same thing he told his Mom. Alden praises him, just as she did.
I end the call once they finish their conversation. Kace is quiet for a moment before asking, “Do you and Dad hate each other?”
Hearing the question almost made me cringe. “I’m mad at him, but I could never hate Alden.” No matter what sort of jerkface he’s being.
“Why are you mad?”
“Because of something he said.”
“Will you forgive him?”
“Maybe.”
“Do you still love him?”
“Very much so.” The love I have for Alden runs deep, but I still want to kick him in the shin until he hurts.
I make Kace a quick snack when we get home. I know Baylor will be here soon and then we’ll pick up Mom before going to dinner and then the game.
Baylor rushes in soon after us and quickly gets ready for the game. Kace and I stand by the door laughing at her as she hops on one foot all the while trying to tie the other shoe. Finally, we’re in the car and off to Moms.
My mom is truly the greatest woman on the planet. When I was eight and diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia, I thought I was going to die. The first night before my treatment began, Mom held me tightly and told me a story. There was a beautiful princess who became sick. Every day the princess would wake up, look in the mirror and tell the sickness to go away. It sounds silly to some, but every day I did just what the princess did. There were a lot of days when I could barely say the words, but Alden would bring a handheld mirror to me and he’d say it with me.
He always helped me with my homework, read to me, made me laugh, and I thrived off his strength many times when I was too ill to lift my head.
Once we reach our seats in the arena, I try hard not to relive the pain of my childhood. Especially Jack. Jack Brockman is our father. He also is the man who walked out on us when the cancer returned for the second time. Alden took it hard, and Mom tried her best to hold it together. There were many nights I heard her cry. No one ever knew how I felt. It’s my fault our family broke up.
Now Jack wants us to meet his new family. We both haven’t decided if we will or not. Actually Alden said no but there are things I want to say to Jack. And there are questions I want him to answer.
Mom leans over to me and whispers in French if I’m okay. I nod, but she nudges my arm, and I know she wants to hear the words.
“Alden still isn’t talking to me.”
“He wants to protect you.”
“Nathan said we’re friends and nothing more.”
Mom stares at me. “I thought you were dating.”
I shake my head. “Just friends, I guess.”
She hugs my shoulders. “Someday you’ll find him.
“I hope so.” I turn back to watch the guys warm up. I try my best not to stare at number thirty-three who is currently in the net.
He’s just a friend.
Hockey runs through my blood as much as Alden’s. Currently, I’m about to lose my mind as the Bears enter into triple overtime. Kace, Baylor, and Mom are feeling the same way I am.
Nathan skates back to the net and moves about keeping his legs warmed up. The entire arena is on their feet as the puck drops in front of Captain Hamilton Baer. He’s able to get it to Alden, who loses it and the opposing player picks it up. He bolts toward Nathan shuffling the puck side-to-side. Nathan gets into position protecting the net when the player rears back and slaps the puck, faster than I can blink my eyes.
The red light goes off.
The Bears lost in game seven.
I fell down into my seat, feeling the tears creeping up. I feel horrible from the loss, and I know Alden and Nathan feel just as bad. Probably worse.
“Dad’s gonna be mad, isn’t he?” Kace asks me.
I nod. “Yes he will, but it’ll be okay.”
We all begin to gather up our items and head toward the family parking lot. Baylor looks anxious.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s a tough loss.” I comfort her.
“How’s he going to react?”
“He’s going to be super pissed. Then he’ll mope for a day. Finally, he’ll get off his ass and begin training for next season.” I pat her back. “It’ll be a rough couple of days, but he’ll put on his big boy pants and move on.”
She seems to relax a bit and goes over to our car.
“Excuse me.”
I turn to see a tall man with thinning blond hair and striking blue eyes. He looks like…
“You must be Nathan’s father.”
“You must be Amara.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Alec.”
“Nice to meet you.” I shake his hand. “May I ask how you knew who I was?”
“Nathan has talked to me about you several times. I’m excited to meet the woman who has impacted my son’s life. He truly admires you.”
My heart sinks realizing I’m still a friend to him.
“I’d love for you to join us for dinner.”
“Oh… um… I couldn’t impose on father-son time. I’m certain you both have a lot to catch up on.” I try to sound convincing, but it’s not working.
“Please, I insist.”
I’m about to decline again when Mom cuts in. I introduce her to Alec, and they seem to hit it off right away. They’re chatting about their sons when Nathan comes out the side door.
My mouth goes dry as the internal butterflies churn, and I’m trying not to drool on myself staring at his beautiful face. He stands six foot seven and pure muscle. I’ve seen him without a shirt when he was getting his upper sleeve tattoo done. Not to mention I may have Googled pictures of him without a shirt.
“Son.” Alec calls him over.
Nathan’s blue eyes are staring into mine, causing my knees to weaken.
“Sorry for the loss, but you were truly fantastic out there.” Alec praises his son, patting his back. “I invited Amara to go out with us.”
His eyes widen, but I jump in again. “Mr. Paxton, I do appreciate the offer, but I have a lot of studying to do and have to work early in the morning. I have to decline your kind offer.”
Nathan suddenly appears to be sad.
“Well, I’m coming back to New Hampshire in a few weeks because Nathan’s brothers are staying with him for a week for their summer holiday.” He explains. “We’ll get together then and you can meet us all.”
“Oh… um…” I glance at Nathan for support.
“She’d love to, Dad. Come on let’s get to the steakhouse. See ya later, Amara.” He turns toward his car and leaves me standing there…
… confused.