Smoke didn't trust himself to fly. He'd hardly slept. He couldn't focus, and that was no state to be in the cockpit. So he had left Papa Charlie at Santa Monica Municipal. The guys at the FBO there would take care of him. Smoke rented a car from them, told them it was a one week return, but he had no clue where he was going, or when he'd come back. He just needed to get out of here. That was all he knew.

When what was going on with Leanne last night had sunk in, he'd felt sick to his stomach. He still did. He'd rolled it around in his head all night. Laura hadn't said that she thought he would make a move on another woman. But she had said she knew what Leanne was doing. And what she'd been doing was setting him up and testing him. He shook his head. He couldn't think about it anymore. His head hurt, but not as much as his heart hurt. Why had he let himself fall in love with her? He'd broken his own rules, broken the promises he'd made to himself. It served him right. He pointed the car towards the San Gabriel Mountains. He might not know where he was going, but he was determined to get out of LA as fast as he could.

***

Everyone was quiet as they got off the plane at Summer Lake. It had been a great night, but this morning a cloud hung over them.

Jack waited at the top of the steps after the others had gone down. “What did he say to you, Jason?”

“Just that he'd be going dark for the week. Papa Charlie is still in Santa Monica, but he'll have it back here next weekend. He said you guys weren't flying this week, but if anyone needs to I can take you in this.”

“And he just said he was going dark? Didn't say anything about where?”

“No. I asked but he said he didn't know.”

Jack nodded. That sounded about right for Smoke. “Well, thanks for the ride. I doubt we'll need you, but I'll give you a shout if we do. Let me know if you hear from him, will you?”

“Will do. But I'm not expecting to. He covered everything that he and I needed to get into this week so that he wouldn't have to be in touch.”

When Jack caught up with the others in the parking lot, Pete was frowning. “I don't like it, partner. What do you think?”

As usual, Jack knew Pete was thinking the same thing he was. “Let's give him today. What do you say we all meet up at the Boathouse tomorrow night? We can see if anyone's heard anything, and then decide.”

Pete nodded. “Okay. Around seven tomorrow night? Does that work for everyone?”

They all nodded their agreement.

“I'm going to call Laura when we get home. See if she's made it back to San Francisco yet.” Missy scowled at Michael. “She spent last night by herself and now she's driving home by herself too. I wish I'd known.”

Michael hung his head. “Sorry, critter. But she asked me not tell anyone. She wanted to be by herself.”

Missy nodded begrudgingly. “I know. You only did what she wanted. I'm just worried about her. I just wish I'd known. I'll get back in that damned plane and go up there if she wants me.”

Jack smiled to himself, knowing she meant it, no matter how scared she was of flying. “If you get hold of her and want to go, Miss, let me know. I'll set it up, or come with you.”

“There's nothing we can achieve all standing around here, though,” said Pete. “And we need to get out to my folks place. Keep the grapevine open guys, and we'll see you tomorrow.”

***

Laura wandered around her apartment. She felt as if she was in shock. She still couldn't believe that what should have been a little misunderstanding had led to this. She jumped and ran for her phone when she heard it ring, hoping it would be him. Of course it wasn't.

“Hey, Jack.”

“Hey, sweetie. Are you home yet?”

“Yeah. I'm back now. Sorry I didn't pick up earlier. I was still on the road. Have you heard anything from him? Is he back there?”

“No, nothing. He's gone dark.”

“Jack if you hear from him, please will you explain what happened? I do trust him. I didn't know that Leanne was going to do that. When she said I knew what she up to, I agreed because I understood what she was doing. But he thought I'd set it up!”

“It's okay, sweetie. I know. Michael explained what went down. If I can find him, I'll explain it to him. But don't be surprised if we don't hear anything for a while. When are you leaving for London?”

“Thursday.”

“I hate to say it, but I doubt he will resurface till after you're gone.”

Laura nodded. She was kind of expecting that herself. “He's a big coward, Jack! But I love him.”

“I know, sweetie. He loves you too. I know that for sure. I talked with him last night before everything got started. He was one happy man.”

Laura couldn't help but seek reassurance. “He actually told you that he loved me?”

Jack laughed. “He told me that a week ago, before he even told you!”

That surprised her, but it made her smile, too. “It was probably a whole lot easier for him to tell you than it was to tell me.”

Jack let out a short laugh. “You know, you're probably right, and seeing how he struggled to tell me, I can only imagine what he went through with you.”

The tears threatened again as she remembered what it had taken for him to finally say those words to her—in the shower. “Did you want anything, Jack, or were you just checking in?” She needed to get off the phone.

“I just wanted to make sure you're okay, sweetie.”

“I wish you were being more reassuring. I wish you were telling me that it's all going to be okay. That he'll be fine when he's had chance to calm down and think about it.”

“I wish I was I too, but I've seen him hurt before. He shuts down, puts up walls. Even when he comes back, it's like the real him isn't even there. He just hides behind the cocky Smoke screen. I've never seen him as happy as he was about you. To fall so hard from that height is going have him hurting real bad. I just want to find him before he can build too many walls up and shut us all out.”

“Not very reassuring, Jack.”

“Sorry, sweetie, but at least it's honest.”

“Yeah. Call me if you hear anything, okay.”

“Will do. Keep your chin up.”

“Thanks, Jack. See ya.”

Once she'd hung up, she decided to try a text.

Her eyes filled with tears. That was just plain mean. She put her face in her hands and let a few tears fall before she pulled herself together. She knew he wasn't really mean at all, he was hurting. He might be coward, but he wasn't an asshole. At least he'd sent something.

***

Jack had tried calling and texting Smoke, but had heard nothing, yesterday or today. He hadn't really expected to. He sat on the front deck looking out at the lake. Emma came out and planted a kiss on his lips before sitting beside him.

“Do you think it'll all work out?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I don't know, baby. I hope so, but I know Smoke. I need to talk to him soon. The more time he spends by himself, the more walls he'll put up. If I don't get to him soon it won't matter anymore. Even when he understands that Laura had nothing to do with Leanne's stupid idea, he won't risk letting her in again.”

Emma nodded sadly. “He sounds like me when I saw you with Laura and freaked out. Even when I found out she was your cousin, I was too scared. What I thought I'd seen had already hurt me too much. I thought being with you would only leave me open to more hurt.”

Jack wrapped an arm around her. “I know. I just hope I can find Smoke and persuade him he needs to be as brave as my little Mouse. I'm going to call Pete. I don't feel like going into town and sitting around with everyone tonight. I know he's thinking of calling Smoke's parents and I'm going to say we do it.”

Emma smiled at up him. “I love that the two of you kept in touch with his parents all these years.”

“Yeah. They're good people. They screwed up, but they were quick to admit it when they realized what they'd done. Smoke shut them out completely, but they reached out to us. We were their go-betweens for a long time. The fact that he took Laura to meet them says how far he's come—with them, as well as with her.

***

Pete hung up and looked at Holly. Jack and Em aren't coming in to town tonight. “He's going to call Smoke's folks. I'm going to call Ben, see if Smoke has shown up at the resort at all. I doubt it though.”

Holly nodded. “I could throttle, Leanne. I could throttle Smoke, too!”

Pete laughed. “Don't be like that, sweetheart. Everyone wanted to throttle me not so long ago. We all get there in our own time and our own way.”

“I suppose. I just hope Smoke and Laura do get there. It's so frustrating!”

***

Madeleine Hamilton went to find her husband in his office. “I just talked to Cole's friend, Jack.”

Cole Sr. took off his glasses and frowned at her. “Why? What's wrong?”

“He called to ask if we'd heard from Cole. He took off from the fundraiser and no one has heard from him since. They were hoping that since we've been getting closer again he might have been in touch with us. Apparently there was a bit of a scene with one of Laura's friends and he ended up thinking that Laura doesn't trust him.”

Cole Sr. stood up and walked around his big oak desk. “And what are you thinking?”

Madeleine wrung her hands together. “I need to call him. I want to call her.”

“Remember what we said, Madeleine. Remember what we promised each other? No interference, ever again. No matter what happens. No matter what we think might be best. Good or bad, his decisions are his own.”

“That's what I came to tell you, darling. I'm not going to be able to keep that promise.”

He shook his head. “We could lose him forever if you don't.”

She nodded. “I understand that, but I'll deal with it, if it means he doesn't lose her.”

***

Standing in the check-in line, Laura couldn't help looking around. It was hardly realistic, but she kept hoping that Smoke would appear. Hoping that he would come striding through the crowded terminal and wrap her in his arms. She'd kept having these silly little hopes since Madeleine had called her and said she was going to try to talk to him. Laura was grateful that she wanted to help, but had asked her not to. She didn't want Smoke to cut them both out of his life if he thought they were ganging up on him, or worse, trying to manipulate him into doing what they wanted. Still she'd hoped and hoped for a miracle.

She checked her bag and made her way to security, remembering the last time she'd done this, with Smoke at her side. Holding her hand. Now he was gone, and as she took her shoes off to pass through the scanners, she had to face the fact that he was probably going to stay gone.

Maybe she should stay in London. Do them both a favor, like he'd said.

***

Smoke came around the side of the house when he heard a car approaching. Who the hell could this be? He seriously considered hiding in the garage until they left. Then he saw it was Ben's truck rounding the corner and heading up the driveway, and he waited for him to pull up and get out.

“Hey, Smoke.”

He nodded, not wanting to even say hello. He just needed to be left alone.

Ben reached into the back of his truck and pulled out a cooler. “I thought this might be a good time to return the favor.” He smiled and lifted the lid to reveal a dozen beers nestling in the ice. “And these ones are stinging. So, are you going to invite me in?”

Smoke pursed his lips. “How did you know I was I here?”

“Joe was out this way checking fences. He said he'd seen signs of life up here, and since you've been playing the fugitive all week it didn't take much to figure it out. Don't tell me you're going to send me and my ice-cold beers away again? I let you in when I didn't want to.”

“Come on then.” Smoke opened the back door and led him inside.

Ben cracked two beers open and they sat in front of the windows looking out at the lake. “This is some view you've got here.”

“Yeah.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

Ben nodded. “Fair enough. Mind if I tell you some of what I didn't want to talk about when you came to see me?”

“Go ahead.” Maybe it would take his mind off Laura.

“I told you the past was the happiest place I've ever been?”

Smoke nodded.

“It's true. For the last fifteen years, there hasn't been a day when I didn't wish I could go back.”

Smoke looked at Ben, but he was staring out the windows with a faraway look in his eyes.

“I made the same decision that you're making now. I thought it would be easier to live with loss than risk more pain.” He turned and looked Smoke in the eye. Raising his bottle he said, “Worst fucking mistake I've ever made. Every single day I wish I'd had the balls to go after her, to choose love instead of self preservation. But it's too late for me.” He took a long swig of his beer and looked back out the window. “It's not too late for you, though.”

Smoke blew out a sigh. “Are you ever going to tell me your story?”

“Maybe someday. For now I just sit back and watch the rest of you live out yours. I've seen the others all get there in the end. I knew they would, cos I knew they'd all fight for it. You've got me worried though. I'm starting to think you're as much of a coward as I was. Don't join me in the losers club, bud. It sucks!”

Smoke stared at Ben. He'd never thought of him as a loser, but he could see the pain and regret etched on his face.

Ben gave him a sad smile. “If seeing all the happy couples around you doesn't motivate you to go after your girl, I thought maybe talking to this sad bastard would do the trick. Motivate you to not spend the rest of your life living with a regret you can't get past.”

Smoke nodded. It was the same thing his mom had told him this afternoon.

Hate me if you need to, darling, but I have to interfere, because you're my boy and I love you. When you were small you used to fight all the time to get what you wanted, whatever you wanted. And you always ended up getting it. You lost that after what we did. Ever since then you've always chosen what you call flying away. I think of it as giving up, Cole. Please don't give up. Don't give up on Laura, and don't give up on happiness. You can be happy. I know that, but you'll have to fight for it. If you don't you might always regret it.

He looked at Ben. “No offense, but I don't want to end up like you.”

Ben let out a sad little laugh. “None taken. I don't want you to either, that's why I'm here. So what are you going to do about it?”

Smoke emptied his beer and reached for another. “I don't know yet.”