Smoke came around to open the door of the pickup. She sat there smiling at him, looking abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous, that was the only word to describe her. He reached in and wrapped his hands around her waist, lifting her out and holding her up. She laughed as she looked down at him.

“You like throwing me around don't you...Cole?”

The sun was shining behind her, turning her into a beautiful silhouette. He loosened his grip and let her slide down his front—that was a big part of why he liked picking her up, feeling her slender body moving against his, until her feet hit the floor.

“I do. Apparently I'm just a big Neanderthal, or at least that's what someone told me.”

She laughed. “I think that someone was, right.” She reached up and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose. “But I like it.”

“It's a good thing you do, cos I'm not going to stop doing it any time soon.” He took her hand and led her around the back of the house. “But for now, let's go see inside again.”

He'd brought her back up to the house. He'd talked to the realtor and was getting ready to put in an offer, but he'd wanted to bring her back her before he did. Especially after last night. He was trying not to think about last night. He needed to, but thinking about it would mean taking a long hike, by himself, to work it through. For now, he was happy to just ride with it. More than happy. It felt good. It was crazy, dangerous, but it felt good.

As he unlocked the door she tugged at his hand, since he hadn't yet let go of her. For some reason he always needed to be touching her—lifting her up, holding her hand, just resting a hand on her shoulder, or raking his fingers through her hair.

“What?” He turned to her as she tugged again, laughing now.

“Can we go see the workroom first?”

He laughed. “I told you, it's not a workroom!”

“It would be if I bought the place!”

“But you're not buying it, lady. I am.”

She pretended to pout at him. “That's just plain mean! I want it!”

“Well you can't have it! It's mine!” He laughed. “Tell you what though....” He was leading her past the orchard now. “If you did move up here you could use it as your workroom, I wouldn't even charge you rent on it.”

She stopped and looked at him. “Are you serious?”

He nodded. Apparently he was, even though he hadn't considered the idea until it came out of his mouth. “Sure, why not? I'm not going to use it for anything.” He pulled her to him. “It could work, don't you think?” He was talking about so much more than the little outbuilding. Her face told him she understood that.

“It could. It might work out well, but there are a lot of steps between here and there, aren't there?”

She was right, of course. A hell of a lot of steps between here and the place they weren't talking about. He shrugged. “There are. Hell, I haven’t even put in an offer yet.” He opened the door and let her enter ahead of him.

She looked around then came back to where he stood in the doorway. She put a hand on his shoulder and planted a kiss on his lips. “A lot of steps, but I hope it works out.”

So did Smoke.

“This view is amazing!” They were sitting out on the porch swing.

Smoke nodded. “It is. And you know when I stand in the living room and look out those windows it's almost like being in the cockpit, coming in to land here. This place is on the approach to the airport.”

She laughed. “Well, that seals it then. I wouldn't want to buy the place out from under you if it reminds you of being in your plane.” She looked at him now. “Which reminds me, Cole. Man of mystery that you are turning out to be. What's the deal with your plane?”

Smoke took a deep breath. He'd known this conversation would have to happen. He even wanted to have parts of it now. He still wasn't ready to go near other parts, but he didn't know how to untangle his story, to tell only as much as he was comfortable with. He looked at her, wondering where he could start.

“Sorry, we don't need to go there. I didn't mean to get heavy on you.” She smiled, willing as always to let him off the hook.

He took hold of her hand—there he went again! Why did he keep doing that? “The thing is, Laura, we are starting to get heavy, aren't we? And I'm up for that. It's just, like I told you, I don't know how to you let you in. There's so much I need to tell you, and so much I'm not ready to tell you.”

She nodded. “I know. But we don't need to rush. It'll all come out over time, won't it?”

“It might, but then I've never been the kind of open I'd need to be for that to happen. I'm going to have to make a conscious effort. If we just wait for it to happen naturally—it won't. Cos it doesn't come naturally to me to let anyone in. And some of it I need to tell you sooner rather than later, cos it'll only sound wrong if you hear it somewhere else first.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “So how about we tell each other one or two things and then leave it. Do another one tomorrow?”

He pecked her lips as he hugged her to him. “You are something else, lady.”

She snuggled in his arms. “Why thank you...I think!”

“It was a compliment. So, do you want me to go first? What do you want to know?”

She looked at him for a long moment. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. So maybe you should decide what you want to tell me first?”

He nodded, grateful that she understood. “Okay, the plane. I own two of them. Papa Charlie and another one just like it that's leased to company in New York.” He paused. He'd told her the facts, but knew he should still give her an explanation. “I come from money. I....” How could he say it without getting into his whole life story? “I was supposed to go into the family business. There was a falling out. I sold my a part of my interest and moved on to doing what I love.” That was the bare bones at least. He stared out into the distance, bracing himself for the barrage of questions.

“Wow!”

He waited. No questions came. He turned to look at her. She was smiling. She touched his cheek. “Thanks, Smoke. Want to hear one of mine?”

He stared at her. She really wasn't going to interrogate him?

“Sorry, you go on, if you want to. I thought you were done.”

He framed her face in his hands and pecked her lips. “I am. For now. Thank you.” He wrapped an arm around her and held her hand, needing her to feel how grateful he was, since he didn't know how to say it.

Her smile told him she understood. “So what do you want to ask me?”

“Why you don't wear an engagement ring anymore?” Pete had told him some of her story, and he felt bad about that. He'd feel better if she told him herself, and he hoped she'd tell him more than he already knew.

She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I don't think I can be as concise as you were, but I'll try.” She stared out at the lake. “Dale was...is, a nice guy. He just wanted more from me than I could give him.”

Smoke nodded. He understood how that went.

“He's in politics. His family is quite influential. He—and they—wanted me to be the supportive wife. You know how some women make a career out of supporting their husband's career? That was what he wanted, what he needs. And Smoke....” She turned to look up him, her eyes begging him to understand. “That is so not me! I felt bad, I thought maybe I just didn't love him enough and it would be alright if I could figure out how to love him more. But I couldn't. I'm not even sure I loved him at all. He's just a good guy. He was kind to me. When we met, I...was in a bad place. He helped me when I needed it. I wanted to help him, but I couldn't. Even if I had loved him, or loved him enough. I'm not the kind of woman who can give up on everything she wants, everything she is, to give someone else what they need. That's what I meant when we talked about it. I don't know that I can give you what you want or be what you need.”

Smoke hugged her close, wanting to reassure her. “It's okay, lady. I get it. Believe me, I get it.” She'd just described how he felt, the way he justified never getting involved with a woman outside of her bed. He wasn't prepared to give up who he was or what he wanted for someone else either.

They sat in silence for a while. Each lost in their own thoughts, fingers still entwined.

“I do get it, Laura, because for the longest time I've felt the same way. I don't want to be with someone if it means I have to stop being who I am in order to do so. Like I told you, I've always thought that there had to be a loser. Do you want to know what I've been wondering lately, though?”

“What?” she didn't look at him, just kept her eyes fixed straight ahead.

“I've been wondering if maybe it's not true. Maybe two people can get together and both keep being who they are, and doing what they do. Maybe that can work...and work well.”

She shook her head. “Maybe in sappy romance novels, but not in my experience.”

He laughed. “Not in mine either, and I don't read sappy romance novels. But just look around this place. Take last night, for example. Look at the people we were with. Jack and Emma. They're both still doing what they want to. She's still writing, he's still running Phoenix. They've made a few adjustments, but only in ways that suit them as individuals. She wanted out of the city, he wanted to slow his schedule down. They both got what they wanted, and so much more, by being together.”

Laura nodded. “I guess so.”

“Then there's Pete and Holly. Same thing. She still has her store, goes to her fashion shows. Pete's still running Phoenix, traveling as much as he needs to. Spending more time with his folks. And now they get a life up here and each other too. And Dan and Missy? He got the family he didn't know he needed and escaped the golden handcuffs he'd locked himself into. Missy got a whole new life and didn't have to give up anything of herself, cos Dan just loves who she is. In fact she gets to be more of herself because Dan needs who she is. Even little Scot got a dad out of that deal. And Dan gets to be more of himself because of it.”

“So what are you saying?” She still wasn't looking at him.

“I'm saying that maybe there doesn't have to be such a compromise of self. Doesn't have to be a winner and a loser. If you're with the right person.”

She was quiet as she leaned against him, nestling closer under his arm. When she finally met his gaze, her eyes were big, serious and scared, too. “I'd like to believe that, Smoke.”

He nodded. So would he. But he still wasn't sure he did.

***

Smoke held her hand tight as they walked through the terminal. Considering he was supposed to be the guy who flew away at the first sign of anything heavy, he was doing a lot of hand-holding. She smiled to herself. And considering she was supposed to be the girl who couldn't stand men holding on to her, she was doing a lot of smiling about how hands on he was being. They'd had such a wonderful weekend. They'd had dinner and hung out at the cabin last night. Made love and slept in each other’s arms. Made love some more before going for breakfast with the gang this morning. Well, most of the gang, no one had seen Ben since Friday night. Laura hoped he was okay.

Smoke had flown her back to San Francisco and left the plane at General Aviation. He booked them a cab to take them to the commercial terminal and now here they were. He was pulling her case and holding her hand. She smiled again, wishing Leanne could see him now. This would shut her up!

“You are going to call me to let me know you got to your hotel, right?” he asked.

She had to laugh. “I'll send you an email. It'll be four o'clock in the morning here when I land.”

He stopped walking, causing people to have to swerve around them in all directions. He didn't seem to notice, he was too busy fixing her with a dark look. “I don't care. I'm not going to sleep ‘til I know you're there safe. So call me when you get checked in, okay?”

She pursed her lips. “Seriously?”

He nodded. She could see the smile lurking behind the scowl. “I'll track your flight, I'll know when you've landed safe, but until you call me I won't know that you're okay. And that you haven't picked up some Englishman on the plane.”

Wow! He was only half joking. “Do you want to just come with me to make sure I don't?”

“If I didn't have to fly, I would!”

She laughed and planted a kiss on his lips. “You know I'm not going to be picking anyone up, let alone an Englishman on a plane.”

“You'd better not, lady!” He hugged her to him. “You are all mine and you'd better remember it, okay?”

She smiled into his neck as she hugged him back. He meant it! She felt like she should be freaked by it, but she loved it. “I'll remember, but you do surprise me. I thought I'd be in for a more Smoke-like send off? You know, waving me off then on to find the next one?”

“That was the old Smoke. The new Smoke doesn't want a next one. He wants you. And Cole wants you too. And I did warn you,” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. “I'm a jealous possessive jerk!”

She laughed. “So how many guys am I dealing with here? There's Smoke, who's no saint, Cole who is a rather elusive mystery, then there's the jealous possessive jerk. Is there anyone else I need to know about?”

He shook his head. “Nope. That's all of me. And you are getting to know Cole, you already know him better than most people do. Give him time, he's a good guy.”

That made her smile.

He cupped her face between his hands and nipped her lips. He didn't care that people continued to mill around where they stood in the middle of the concourse. “The one you need to worry about for now is the jealous possessive jerk. Even he wishes you a great a trip, but he needs to know you'll still be his when you get back.”

She nodded.

“Good. Then let's get you checked in and on your way.”

Once her bag was checked and she had her ticket in hand he walked her to the security line. “Okay, lady. This is me gone. He wrapped his arms around her waist. Enjoy yourself. Knock ’em dead with your designs. I know you will.”

“Thanks, Smoke. And I will call you when I get to the hotel.”

“Thanks. I'll be here waiting to meet you when you land.”

“You will?”

“Yeah.” He grinned at her now. “I want to.”

She grinned back. “Then I’ll look forward to it.”

He brushed his lips over hers and she clung to him for just a moment.

“See you Saturday then. I'm going to go through now. I'm not good at long goodbyes.”

There was no mistaking the relief on his face. “Me neither. See you soon.” He gave her one last brief kiss and disappeared into the crowd.

She joined the long line to pass through security with a big smile on her face.