Something is truly magical about a sunrise. It’s proof that second chances do exist. Today is especially captivating, and when I rose, I almost felt reborn. I showered, then savored a cup of coffee in silence while overlooking my yard. I’ll miss this place. Regardless of the bitter memories, I also have fond ones.

I know this house will make another family happy, just as it once did for me. But it’s my time to move on and find a new sanctuary, a place I can call home.

After finding her contact details on a scrap piece of paper Sam had shoved under a phone book, I emailed Hayley Regan, eager to get this property on the market as soon as she returns from vacation. In the meantime, just as I told Saxon I would, I’ll pack up my belongings and prepare to move. And that’s why I’m sitting on the kitchen floor, boxing up pots and pans. I gave up on the utensil drawers about an hour ago because if I saw another spork, I’d be tempted to stab myself in the eye with it.

A lot of these are close to brand new as we received a heap of kitchenware for our engagement. We used the staple go-to for everyday cooking. All the other stuff—like this tagine, for instance—was just taking up room.

I’m happy to let Sam pick what he wants, and I’ll take whatever is left. I don’t know where I’m moving to, so less is best. And besides, I think I’d much rather buy everything new.

Sluggish footsteps drag along the hallway, hinting that whoever they belong to is in serious need of coffee. “Oh, god, has it always been this bright?”

Peering up at Sam, I can’t help but laugh. His hair is snarled in every direction, and his eyes are squinted to half-mast. “I just made a fresh pot of coffee.”

He jolts, my voice appearing to startle him from his stupor. “Thanks.” He scans the room, and when he notices me on the floor, he does a double take. Now that he’s semi composed, he takes in his surroundings and whistles. “Wow, how long have I been asleep for?”

The kitchen does look like a tornado has torn through it, so I don’t blame him for thinking he has slept for days. “I thought I’d start packing up in here. I think I overachieved.” Sam laughs, before stepping past me to make a beeline for the coffee.

He pours himself a cup and takes a long sip. I continue packing everything into boxes, aware of Sam watching me closely. “I didn’t realize how hard this was going to be. We have so much stuff. We can split everything in half? Or…”

But he shakes his head, interrupting me. “Take it all. I don’t want it.”

I pause with a saucepan in hand, en route to the box. “No, that’s not fair. This stuff is both of ours.”

Sam exhales, surveying everything sprawled out in front of him. “And that’s exactly why I don’t want it.” Not a hint of animosity exists behind his words, only apathy. I can relate to how he feels.

He pours another cup of coffee, and mastering the cast with a cup in each hand, he settles on the floor beside me, offering me one. I gratefully accept. We comb over everything laid out before us, knowing this is only the start of things to come. “We should go down to the bank and close our joint account.”

He’s right. “Let’s add it to the list.”

Sam reaches for a decorative glass bowl and cocks a brow. “Where did this come from?”

The lavish crystal dish with gold handles serves no purpose other than being a fancy ornament can only have come from one person. “Your mother.”

Sam’s lips part in understanding. “I should have guessed. Well, she can have it back. It’s hideous.” He shudders dramatically, dumping it into a box. It’s nice to have the “old” Sam back.

He helps sort through the mess I’ve made, and it’s so refreshing to work alongside one another without erupting into a screaming match. As I’m wrapping the glass mixing bowls in bubble wrap, Sam clears his throat twice. “Sorry if we kept you up.”

I almost drop the bowl as his statement catches me off guard. It’s one I don’t really want to address or even think about, but I suppose if we’re going to be friends, then topics such as this shouldn’t leave me flustered and wishing I was in another room. “Don’t be silly.” I wave him off, hoping I sound more convincing than I feel. “I didn’t hear a thing.” This is true for the most part as I fell asleep with my iPod blaring my favorite songs.

He nods, liking this topic of discussion as much as I am.

We work in silence, an air of contemplation bouncing between us. Now that he’s voiced it, I decide to ask a niggling question. “Are you and Alicia a thing now?”

Sam stops from packing and turns his cheek to look at me. A bundle of nerves coil within, and I have no idea why. “I don’t know. Apparently, Alicia and I grew close when I had amnesia,” he confesses, watching me closely. This is no surprise. I never had proof, but I had my suspicions. As I’m weighing up how I feel about this revelation, Sam throws another curveball my way. “Would it bother you if we were?”

“No, of course not.” I’m quick to reply, but a small part of me knows that it does. Not the jealous part, though…the part which hoped he’d find someone who deserves him. But that’s not my business. “Whoever you choose is your choice. No judgment.” I raise my hands in surrender because I’m the last person to throw stones.

My reply seems to appease him. “I have a favor to ask.”

“Shoot.” His hesitation leaves me a touch nervous, so I reach for the utensils and begin sorting through them.

“I…holy shit.” I sneak a peek at him, wondering what’s going on. He blows out a deep breath before continuing. “I want to make amends with all the people I’ve hurt.”

“Okay,” I reply, dragging out the O.

“Goes without saying, the first person is you.”

“Sam…”

“No, let me finish.”

I seal my lips and nod.

“I wanted to organize a dinner, here, with my parents and yours. Piper too.” There is something else he’s not telling me, and I have a feeling why that is. “Will you…will you talk to Saxon for me?” And there it is ... the inevitable. I knew it was coming, but I’ve already asked so much of Saxon. This is just toeing the line.

But when the utter grief tears at Sam, I feel like I don’t have much of a choice. “I’ll try my best, but Sam, it probably won’t make a difference. He’d much prefer to hear it from you.”

“I know. You’re right, and I would if I thought I could get in three words before he hung up.” His frustration is warranted because Saxon is one stubborn son of a gun. “All I ask is that you tell him I want a second chance at making things right between us. Now that everything is out in the open, I just want my brother back. I know I don’t deserve it, but…”

I don’t allow him to speak another word. “I’ll talk to him.”

“You will?” His eyes widen, the gratitude clear.

“Yes. I can’t promise you anything, but—”

This time, it’s his turn to intervene. “Thank you, Lucy.” Before I have a chance to reply, his arms swathe me in a tight hug. It still feels so weird to embrace this way, but there is only friendship in his touch.

However, a throat clearing indicates someone else doesn’t seem to think so. “Am I interrupting?” We quickly break apart, which is ridiculous. We weren’t doing anything wrong.

“No, of course not. Lucy and I were just packing.”

Alicia leans against the doorjamb in nothing but Sam’s favorite basketball jersey—which was once my favorite too because I used to wear it religiously. A surge of…jealousy spirals within, but I quash it down just as quickly because it has no business being there. It catches me off guard, throwing a curveball which leaves me uneasy.

My fingers tremble as I occupy myself with gathering up the last of the kitchenware. Sam watching me closely just makes me quiver all the more.

“What do I have to do to get coffee around here?” Alicia’s insolence is a welcomed distraction because I have no idea what’s going on with me.

“Coffee’s on the counter,” I snap, a rush heating my cheeks. I don’t want her in my home. Although it won’t be for much longer, while it is, I want nothing to do with her. Standing as casually as I can, I wipe away invisible lint from my t-shirt. Sam looks up at me, suddenly adding to the breathlessness taking flight within. “I’m going to feed the horses.” They’ve already been fed, but it’s the best excuse I can come up with.

“I’ll help,” he offers, attempting to stand.

But I shake my head, waving him off. “No, I’ve got it. When you’re done in here, maybe we could go down to the bank? I also emailed Hayley. Best to get things underway as soon as possible.”

A small gasp escapes him, but he eventually nods. “Sure. If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” I confirm without pause. He appears hurt, but I can’t worry myself with that any longer.

Yes, this was on the list of things to do, but it’s evident Sam wanted to work up to something so big, so final. But this is exactly what I need to soothe the demons which have suddenly stirred once again. Not understanding where this unforeseen anxiety has come from, I quickly excuse myself, pushing past Alicia when she makes no attempt to move.

Her musky scent catches on the whoosh of air, cementing the fact that that jersey and a lot of other things are no longer mine. This is what closure feels like. So why do I feel so hollow inside?

I’ve laid low, too ashamed and confused to raise my weary head. Sam and I went to the bank as we had discussed. The moment we signed on the dotted line to close the account, I broke out into a cold sweat. I have no idea why I’m reacting this way. I suppose it’s just so… final.

This has happened before. When I gave back his ring. And when I saw him sporting a hickey the size of Texas that I now know was thanks to Alicia.

Sam has been such an integral part of my life for so long and the thought of letting him go for good suddenly leaves me with a serious case of heartburn. I’m not questioning my choice because I want to be with Saxon, but letting go of something I know like the back of my hand is beyond scary.

A knock on the door has me yelping, but I chill the hell out. “Come in.”

Sam enters a moment later, peering around the doorway. I don’t blame him for being apprehensive. This time, he’s the one who’s trying while I can’t stop acting weird. “Hey. I thought I’d check on you. Is everything all right?”

Placing my journal beside me on the bed, I nod. “Yes, I’m okay.” Sam ponders my response, before risking his safety and coming inside.

He looks so much like the Sam I fell in love with, it’s hard not to ride the wave of nostalgia and drown. “I’m worried about you. If this is too much, too fast, we can always pull back.”

“No, it’s fine.” Although I appreciate his suggestion, I can’t stop. Not now. The sooner we get this done, the better it’ll be in the long run. There is no point in dragging out the inevitable. I just need to stop acting like a basket case and pull it together.

“I know this is all fucking weird, but I’m here if you want to talk.” He gently brushes over my ankle, a reassuring touch to affirm his promise. I don’t shy away.

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

“I meant it when I said I wanted to stay friends.” I know he did, and I thought it was everything I wanted to hear, but now, I’m not so sure.

Has too much happened for us to remain friends? Or the better question is, can I stand by and watch Sam live his life and not feel this pang of nostalgia for the rest of my days? I can’t explain why it’s lingering; all I know is that seeing Alicia in Sam’s jersey triggered this spiral of uncertainty. I just want it to go away.

I want to talk to Saxon, but how do I explain this without making it sound like I’m having second thoughts.

“I called Piper and asked if she’d forgive me for being such a dick to her,” Sam reveals, surprising me.

“What did she say?”

He smirks, which can only lead to no good. “She said she’d think about it… on the way to Singtunes.”

“The karaoke bar?” I ask, unable to hide my smile.

“Yes. She drives a hard bargain, but I agreed. It’s a start.” It is, and I admire Sam for extending the olive branch.

“She wanted to go tonight, but I…”

“You what?”

He tongues his cheek, appearing to consider just how much to say. “I didn’t know if you’d be up for it. I tried to be subtle, but well, you know Piper. Subtle isn’t part of her vocabulary. She’ll be here soon.”

Needing to snap from this funk, I shake my head. “No, let’s go.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Besides, Piper will end up dragging us there anyway.” Sam laughs, and again, endless memories smash into me, leaving me winded.

“Okay, as long as you’re sure. It’ll be nice to get out anyway. I can’t remember the last time I did something normal.” He tugs at my little toe before standing. “I’ll just shower and change.”

An unspoken question lingers in the air, and although I have no right to ask, I can’t stop myself. “Is Alicia coming?”

Sam cocks his head to the side, visibly taken aback by my forwardness. “No,” he finally replies, putting me out of my misery. “It’ll just be us…which reminds me.” I wait with bated breath. “I spoke to my parents about having dinner here and clearing the air. They’re all for it. My mom wants to apologize to your parents and you.”

“Me?” I almost fall off the bed in utter surprise.

“Yes. She knows she was wrong. She wants to make it right between us.”

A heavy sigh leaves me. What choice do I have? Everyone is coming to the party except me, so that doesn’t seem very mature. It’s time to mend fences once and for all. “Okay. I’ll give my parents a call. When did you want to do dinner?”

“Next Saturday? Does that work for you?” It’s commendable that Sam seems in a great hurry to fix the error of his ways.

“Yes, that’s fine. Let me talk to them and get back to you.”

“Awesome.” He rocks back on his heels, waiting. I know what he’s waiting for, but I just can’t give him the answer he seeks. Not yet.

I will talk to Saxon. I just need to figure out what to say.

Sam sees me clam up and nods once. “Okay. I’d better go shower then.” I wish I could kick this mood. Maybe a night out is exactly what Sam and I both need.

He waits, but when I toy with a loose thread in the blanket, he gets the hint and leaves. Sighing, I reach for my cell and hover over Saxon’s name. Just tell him. I pep myself up, hoping my inner cheerleader will take flight and I’ll get over whatever this insanity is. But I’m scared Saxon will tell me to go to hell once and for all.

It’s my choice to forgive Sam, but Saxon doesn’t have to. I’m afraid if I ask him to come back to Montana, just as I did when Sam was in the hospital, he won’t be so accommodating this time. He’ll be able to read my irrational response to Sam moving on and mistake it for something that it’s not.

Groaning, I toss my phone on the mattress and curse the day I thought I could have my cake and eat it too.

“Are you going to spit it out, or am I going to have to use violence?” Looking up from my untouched beer, I smile, surprised it took Piper this long to ask what’s bugging me.

We’re sitting at a booth in Singtunes, and although the vibe is fun and relaxed, I can’t stop from grinding my teeth deep in thought. As expected, Piper gave Sam more than a hard time. But we both didn’t expect anything less.

To Sam’s credit, he took it like a true trooper and allowed Piper to scold him for being a downright asshole to me and everyone within a fifty-mile radius. After his twentieth apology, Piper seemed to lay off and focus her attention on liberating her lungs in front of hundreds of strangers.

She begged me to join her, but I could barely speak, let alone follow lyrics on a screen and be expected to sing them aloud. Sam also picked up on my gloominess and asked if I was okay endless times. The thing is, the more he asked, the worse I felt.

I should be happy we’re able to go out and do semi normal things like this, but this knot just won’t go away. No matter how hard I try to squash it down. Sam waits at the bar, clearly giving Piper and me some space to discuss what’s wrong. But I don’t even know what’s going on.

“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I thought I’d be happy, but I just feel…” I shrug, searching for the right word.

“Feel what?” When I stare at her blankly, she poses another question. “What happened for you to be grumpier than a bear with a sore head?”

I can’t help but laugh. “That’s the thing. Nothing happened per se. Things were going great. Sam and Alicia—” Piper shudders, covering her mouth to stop from throwing up “They hooked up, which is good for him. This is exactly what I wanted. But this morning…” I swallow, feeling beyond guilty for voicing this aloud. “Alicia was standing in my kitchen, wearing my favorite jersey. And I don’t know, it set off the crazy inside me. I have no idea why.” It’s good to get it off my chest, but I’m still no closer to uncovering why.

Piper ponders what I just confessed, and I squirm. I know what this sounds like. It sounds like I’m jealous that Sam has moved on, but the thing is, I’m not.

“Then when we closed our joint bank account, I felt like I was seconds away from having an anxiety attack. What’s wrong with me?” I shield my face with my palms, embarrassed.

Piper uncovers my face. I look at her sheepishly. “Nothing’s wrong with you.”

“Then why am I acting like a crazy person?”

Piper smiles, giving me hope that maybe I’m not totally insane. “This is normal. You and Sam shared some great times together. You’ve loved him for so long, and now that you’re both moving on, it’s a little hard to digest.”

“But why?”

“Because being in a relationship with Sam was safe. He’s a habit, one you both have to break. I know you came here because he asked you to come, but you have to draw a line in the sand. You can’t keep running to him every time something goes wrong. You both have to learn how to live without the other.”

“I can live without him,” I contest, but deep down, I know she’s right.

“I know you can, but it’s going to take time. You can’t expect this to happen overnight.”

“I love Saxon.” I need to vocalize it. I need to hear it aloud.

“No one questions your love for him, Lucy. But Sam was supposed to be your forever. Before this all happened, there was no doubt in your mind that you’d live happily ever after. But now that that’s changed, it’s normal to find yourself falling into old habits. Old feelings.”

I recoil, wagging my finger animatedly. “There are no, like zero, old feelings there. I just feel like I owe him or something.”

Piper tosses back her gin and tonic and shrugs. “Old habits die hard. The sooner you can kick the habit, the better for you.”

“You think he’s a habit?” I ask, chewing my lip pensively.

“I do,” she replies without reservations. “Divorced couples have to share their kids, never really ridding themselves of their ex, so to speak, and you and Sam, you’ll always share a tie too.” I cock an eyebrow, completely confused. “Saxon,” she clarifies. I exhale. She’s right.

“So you need to let Sam go, the old Sam you shared so many memories with if you want to spend the rest of your life with Saxon because he will always be the ex-boyfriend, haunting your relationship. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past.”

I sip my beer, digesting what she just said. “This isn’t going to be easy. You’re starting over. Give your brain and heart five seconds to catch up.”

“I feel like I’m going crazy.” I run my fingers through my hair.

“I would be worried if you didn’t lose your shit every once in a while. Love isn’t easy. Throw in your effed-up circumstances, and you’re bound to doubt and question everything every now and again. We’re creatures of habit, Lucy. You only got weirded out when seeing Alicia in the jersey because it was once yours. Just how Sam was. It’s still an open wound, but once you learn to let go, it’ll be a memory. It’s just going to take time.”

Leaning back in the booth, I take a moment to make sense of everything Piper just said.

Sam was safe, but being with Saxon is the complete opposite. Sam is familiar, but I need to purge him from my system. And just as one would detox an addictive drug from their bodies, I have to learn how to live without it. I may slip up, but I’ll try my hardest to go cold turkey, so to speak.

“Sam asked me to talk to Saxon on his behalf,” I reveal. “He wants to make amends. He thinks I have a better chance of getting through to Saxon than he does. I just feel like I’m constantly taking and not giving anything in return.”

Piper clucks her tongue, refuting my claim. “He’s probably right. Remember, Sam’s family is Saxon’s family too. If you want this to work, then I think Saxon has to remember that Sam will always be a thing of your past…past being the operative word. He can’t just expect you to sweep what you had with Sam under the carpet. It shaped you into who you are today. All three of you have to co-exist if you want to make this work.” I tear my cocktail napkin into shreds, needing something to do before I find a corner to rock in.

“I know you, Lucy. You can’t cut Sam completely from your life. You being here proves that, but it’s all about balance. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. Do what you can and what feels right. Being with Saxon feels right, but so does being Sam’s friend. There’s no reason you can’t have both. Take a time-out. Set boundaries. It’s almost impossible to move on with Saxon if you’re still emotionally tied to Sam. Just be mindful of the amount of contact you have and change your friendship so it doesn’t resemble the relationship you once shared. That’s why you got weirded out when you saw Alicia. Kick the…”

“Habit,” I conclude for her. My head is spinning. “So even though I don’t love love Sam, you still think I’m emotionally tied to him?”

She nods like it’s a no-brainer. Holy shit. “I would be surprised if you just fell out of love with him so quickly, especially since he’s returned to his former self. Doesn’t say much for your relationship in the first place if that were the case.”

She has left me dumbfounded once again. “When did you get so smart?”

She holds up her empty glass with a grin. “I blame the gin. And Dr. Phil.”

So it appears being friends with my ex is going to take some getting used to, but Piper is right. Sam is a habit. I looked for him whenever I was lost, but now, it’s time I looked for myself.

Sam impressively carries a tray filled with three beers as he approaches the table apprehensively. I don’t blame him. Poor guy is probably wondering what exactly he’s walking into. Piper lunges for the beer, bopping to a pop song belted out by a very enthusiastic patron.

When the song ends, she rolls up her sleeves and smirks. What is she up to now?

We find out when the emcee announces, “Okay, next up is Piper, Lucy, and… Dick.” My eyes widen before I burst into laughter. Sam’s mouth pops open.

“What?” Piper innocently says, tossing back a mouthful of beer. “You did say you wanted to make amends for being a dick.”

Before we can protest, she shoots to her feet and loops her arms through ours. She drags us to the glitter stage, relishing the catcalls and cheers. Both Sam and I don’t stand a chance, so we follow, unsure what we’re in for.

The emcee is a young guy decked out in a Hawaiian shirt. He amps up the already peppy crowd by lifting Piper’s hand in the air like she’s won the Olympics. She, of course, laps up the attention while Sam and I look at one another, unable to hold back our smiles. “Who’s ready to rock on?” He raises his rock horns, making Ozzy Osbourne proud.

Sam leans in close, whispering, “I will pay you five hundred dollars if you push me off this stage and break my other arm.”

I snort giggle, covering my mouth. “Not on your life. Who’s going to push me?” His husky laugh slithers down the column of my neck, but I remember what Piper said and focus on erecting those boundaries.

We huddle around a screen when the emcee gives us three microphones. Looking out at the crowd is beyond daunting, and I wonder what the sea of nameless faces thinks of us as they take us in. To onlookers, we probably appear normal, just three friends out for a good time. Maybe there’s hope for us yet.

But now, when the distinguishable intro to one of my favorite tunes in the world blares over the speakers, I forget about everything and just lose myself in the song. I look at Piper, unable to wipe my smile clean.

I know why she chose this, and I love her even more for believing in me because the song she’s appropriately chosen is “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey. This is my jam, and although I’ve never done karaoke before, I take to it like a duck to water.

As soon as the lyrics pop up on the screen, I sing along, but I don’t need the prompt because I know the words by heart. Sam stands between me and Piper, and I’m surprised he’s singing along and actually having a good time because we would normally never do something like this. But as we approach the chorus, I realize that what Piper said is right. We have to ensure our friendship doesn’t resemble our relationship to establish change.

This proves I can have both— a friendship with Sam and a relationship with Saxon. I will mess up and probably have many days like today, but as long as I remember to be true to myself, then I will learn along the way.

As we reach the infamous guitar solo, Piper and I nod at one another…so on the same page. We turn our backs and use Sam as our pillar, employing our microphones as makeshift guitars. He chuckles, happy to comply.

As we belt out the chorus, I’ve never felt more in tune with the words than I do right now. I won’t stop believing because that’s what living is about. Once the song ends, Piper fist pumps once, living out her 80’s rock star dreams.

Sam and I look at one another, both flustered and breathless and full of laughter. The adrenaline of singing to a roomful of strangers provides an unexpected head rush, and when that guise I recognize as longing passes over him, I know what I have to do.

He steps forward, but my arm snaps out as I place a hand on his chest. His heart is galloping, but I refuse to entertain the notion it’s from something other than the fact we just sang out our lungs. He peers down at the barrier in complete understanding. Boundaries are set in place.

Piper is bowing to her new legion of fans, so leaving her to her limelight, I pass the emcee my microphone, then jump from the stage. Reaching for my cell in my back pocket, I push through the cheering audience and make a beeline for the front door.

The fresh air cools my heated cheeks, and with my nervous fingers, I do something I should have done hours ago. The moment his gravelly voice enters my ear, I instantly liquify into slushy goo. “Hey you.”

It takes me a moment to speak because I’m lost in Saxon Stone. “Hey yourself.”

“Why are you so breathless?”

I walk up the street, away from the loud, drunken patrons because I don’t want to miss a word he says. “I’m at a karaoke bar.”

“Oh?”

I know how that sounds, considering I’m here to supposedly support Sam through a tough time, but I want him to know everything. “Yes, Piper dragged Sam and me here.” His bitterness can be felt through the phone. “Now before you jump the gun, I want you to know that today, I felt weird when I saw Alicia standing in my kitchen wearing Sam’s old basketball jersey… The one I used to wear. And when Sam and I closed our joint bank account, I thought I was going to pass out.”

“Okay…” His tone turns cold, but he’ll soon understand why I’ve divulged all I have.

“I didn’t want to call you because I felt guilty for reacting this way. All day, I had no idea what was going on.” I stop walking and press my back against a brick wall. “Then Sam said he wanted to make amends with all the people he’s hurt. There’s a dinner at Whispering Willows next Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d consider coming.” I continue talking, too afraid if I stop, I won’t get it all out in time.

“Sam wants to make amends with you, Saxon, but I know I’ve asked so much of you, so this is your choice. Whatever you decide to do, I will support you. One hundred percent. But I want you to know that the reason I felt weird was because I’m finally letting go. Sam is a habit, and it’s time to kick it.” Thanks, Piper! “I can’t cut Sam completely from my life. How can I? Every time I look at you, I’m reminded of him. So if we’re going to do this, it’s about balance and setting boundaries. I may still be emotionally tied to Sam, but I don’t love him. I love you. So much. I know it sounds like I want the best of both worlds, but this can work. It has to.” And only then do I take a breath. Can I get a hallelujah!

I need a moment after my verbal vomit.

Saxon is quiet, not that I can blame him. I’ve just spewed a day’s worth of musings at him in under a minute. But when that silence continues, I begin to worry. I have asked so much of Saxon, but the ball rests in his court now. Whatever he decides, I will stand by him. If he doesn’t want to mend fences with Sam, then at least I tried.

I tap my boot against the ground, waiting for him to say something, anything. The longer I wait, the more anxious I become. Just as I regret the overshare, Saxon says something which cements the many reasons I love him so. “What song did you sing?”

I burst into laughter. “I totally owned Journey.” He chuckles, and I’m thankful we’re even joking right now. “So you’ll come?”

“I’ll think about it,” he replies.

“That’s better than a hell no.” Not wanting to discuss this any longer, I savor him being on the line. “I miss you. Like a lot.”

“I miss you too.” And that silence which always seems to rear its ugly head of late settles between us. There is no question of our separation anxiety, but our circumstances don’t allow us to be together. Well, not yet anyway. “I’d better go. I’ve got some paperwork I have to catch up on.”

“Okay.” My disappointment is clear. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sure. I love you.”

I close my eyes, basking in the feeling of Saxon Stone worshiping me. “I love you, too.” Like always, he’s the first to hang up because I never want to say goodbye.

I take a moment to gather my thoughts because today has been nothing short of a discovery. Talking to Piper has helped to clear my head. Even if Saxon doesn’t meet Sam in the middle, I’m glad Sam and I can find common ground. A small part of me is complete knowing he will be in my life in one way or another. We still have a long way to go, but I’m looking forward to the journey because I will never lose sight of why I started it.