Chapter 40
Natalie – 2017
After talking to Gage about all the factors that tore us apart, I was heartbroken. Alone in Gage’s guest bedroom, I didn’t think there was any way to turn something like this into a positive.
We’d lost our marriage for so many reasons. I knew I wasn’t innocent in all of this, but I was outraged Gage had come to the house, seen Ethan’s things, and concluded I was sleeping with Ethan. How could Gage have thought so little of me?
Then again, I’d destroyed the trust between us not just with my addiction, but also by not telling him about Dash. If Gage and I had been forced to sit in a room and talk, could we have worked things out? Could we have found a way to avoid our divorce?
I didn’t know, and at this point, it didn’t really matter. What was important was completing my plan to rectify my past transgressions. Next week, after the school musical, I’d talk to Gage and Dash about everything. Then, I’d fly back to Chicago and turn myself in. I’d serve my time, get out, and resume my life.
Dash was going to be fine and so was Gage.
I just didn’t know about myself.
*
On Monday, Dash and I moved out of Gage’s apartment. I had less than a week left with my son, and I needed some alone time with him.
Tuesday morning, I dropped Dash off at school and was accosted by Tamara. “Two of my volunteers got sick. Is there any way you could help paint scenery for just an hour?”
I tried getting out of helping by insisting I wasn’t very artistic, but Tamara was relentless. “What are you talking about? You make that beautiful jewelry. Of course, you’re artistic.”
Realizing I had no choice, I followed her into the gym where she handed me a paintbrush. “We just have to paint this whole background green. Once it dries, I have other volunteers who will add details.”
Tamara and I got to work. A little later, Cora and a few other moms arrived to help us. “I heard about the chimney crashing through your roof,” Cora said. “It sounds like you were really lucky to escape uninjured.”
“I was.” I dipped my brush in the paint and tried not to think about Gage being woken by God. Surely, that had been just a coincidence. God didn’t interact in people’s lives like that, did he?
We continued painting and talking about kids and plans for the summer. Cora and her family were going to Iceland while Tamara and her husband were taking the kids back to Chicago to see his parents.
I’m going to Chicago, too, I thought, but didn’t dare voice. Yep, headed to the slammer.
When we ran out of paint, Tamara and I walked down the hall to the storage room. We’d long since passed the one-hour mark, but I didn’t mind. Painting with Tamara and the other moms had actually put me in a better mood.
“Thanks for helping today,” Tamara said.
“You’re welcome. I’m actually having a good time.”
“Really?” Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “There are plenty of other volunteer jobs you can do at the school. Not just for the musical but throughout the year as well. I’ll be working in the library this fall. Maybe we could work together.”
“That sounds like fun.” I pushed away the reality that this would be my last elementary school volunteer job. By the time I got out of jail, Dash would be in middle school or maybe even high school.
Tamara opened the office door. “We can take the shortcut through here to the storage room.”
“Okay.” I entered the office to find Sheela chatting with the secretary. Given Sheela’s clipboard and professional suit, she was obviously here on official school board business.
“We need more paint,” Tamara explained, walking past her sister-in-law.
Sheela gave me a disapproving glance. I looked down at my paint-splattered clothes. Feeling the need to justify my appearance, I explained I was helping with the scenery.
Sheela raised a perfect shaped brow. “You’re one of our volunteers?”
“That’s right.”
She tapped her pen against her clipboard. “Have you filled out a background check, yet?”
Goosebumps prickled my arms. “What?”
“All volunteers are required to complete a background check before they can serve on school grounds.”
My blood ran cold. Did Sheela know about my conviction? My case had been in the local newspapers, but it’d been overshadowed by the brutal killing of a police officer, so it was possible Sheela didn’t know about me. Had Gage told her? What about Miriam? No, Gage’s mom would’ve been too ashamed to tell anyone.
“Come on, Sheela,” Tamara said. “We don’t have time to wait for Natalie’s background check. Besides, she’s just painting. It’s not like she’s taking kids on a field trip.”
Sheela shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. We have to follow protocol.”
Tamara gave a frustrated sigh. “Okay, I’ll have her fill out the background check while I get the paint.”
I stood paralyzed. An internet search of my name, Natalie Jones, generated enough hits that finding out about my conviction was nearly impossible. A more thorough background check, however, would reveal everything, including what I was hiding from Gage.
Tamara took me by the arm. “Come on, I’ll show you what you need to do. It’s not a big deal. You just have to type in a few things, like your birthday and social security number. They’re just checking to make sure you’re not a convicted criminal.”
I swallowed hard and glanced at Sheela who’d moved on to other things. Maybe instead of singling me out she made everyone fill out the background check. Even so, I couldn’t help but be afraid.
Tamara led me into a computer room attached to the office. “Here,” she said, sitting at the first computer and bringing up the form. “It will literally take two minutes. While you’re filling this out, I’ll grab the paint, then we can get back to work.”
“Okay.”
Tamara left me sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen. Although the form was short, the information requested would definitely flag my criminal background.
My heart hammering, I filled out the easy part—my name, current address, and previous address. When I reached the place for my social security number, I debated putting in a wrong number. If anyone asked me about it, I could just say it was a typo.
In order to pay my taxes, I always used my correct social security number. The first year, I was scared to death the police would show up at my door. I’d since come to believe the IRS didn’t care who you were or what you’d done as long as you paid your taxes on time.
This background check was different. The whole point of it was to discover whether or not you had a record.
“Do you need any help?” Sheela asked, poking her head in the room.
I jumped a mile high, and she gave me a suspicious look. “Goodness, Natalie.”
“Too much coffee,” I said.
“My new boyfriend is a coffee addict,” she told me.
I nodded. Then, before I could change my mind, I entered my correct social security number and hit send. A message popped up, claiming my form had successfully been submitted, and I’d be cleared in one to two weeks.
The musical was in a few days. After that I’d be leaving, so by the time my conviction came to light, I’d be gone.
There was no going back now. Looking up at Sheela, I smiled. “I’m done.”
She nodded. “Good. It’s important all volunteers comply with the regulation in order to keep our kids safe. If I made an exception for you, I’d have to make one for everyone else.”
I locked eyes with Sheela. “Did Gage ever tell you why we broke up?”
“No.”
“He didn’t?”
“No. We never talked about you. In fact, we never talked about anything. He’s not exactly the best conversationalist.”
I disagreed, but instead of arguing, I studied her carefully, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. I had a feeling she was.
Tamara came into the office holding four paint cans. “Are you ready?”
“More than ready,” I said, taking two of the cans from her.
Not only was I ready to get back to painting, but I was ready for this life of fear to end. Ready to talk to Dash and Gage and tell them why I had to leave. Ready to face my past head on and move to the next stage of my life.