“I’m surprised to see you here.”

Glancing up, I see Noah in my doorway. I’m reviewing the final pages of Charles Blackwell’s documents but I’m doing it from the comfort of the couch versus my desk. I couldn’t stomach watching Red getting railed from behind today.

I toss the papers and pen in my hand to the low table in front of me.

“Yeah. I, ah”—palming the back of my neck, I rub the tense muscles there—“I couldn’t do it.”

Noah walks to my wall of glass and stands silent a few moments. The trajectory of his gaze tells me who has his attention. Letting loose a big sigh, he makes his way back over, plopping down beside me. He throws his stylish caramel Mantellassi loafers onto the table and crosses one foot over the other. The thick heel thuds dully against the wood. “Can’t say I blame you.”

I met Annabelle for lunch. Actually I had lunch catered in my office, and I’d planned to tell her what I found out in a place that was relatively safe and neutral, with Noah down the hall only a holler away to help me subdue her when she freaked out. When, not if.

But when she floated in she looked so damn happy, as if she was walking on air and free of the demons that plague her, if only for a bit. And I just couldn’t make myself do it. I couldn’t be the one to drive her directly into a pit of self-hatred. How will I ever be able to do that?

“She asked me if I’d found anything out. I lied. I told her it was all a big misunderstanding.”

She had no idea we were going to see Lia Melborne. I didn’t want her worried at what I truly thought would end up being nothing. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Noah. You know as well as I do that when Annabelle finds out what happened, we’re going to lose her.”

He whispers a curse. “Why not wait until after the election to figure it out.”

“Mergen’s just waiting for me to do that. All I’m doing is putting off the inevitable.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he’ll never call your bluff. But it will give us time to figure out a strategy.”

“He’s not bluffing. He’s biding his time. Waiting for when this little explosive will cause the biggest blast.” It’s what I would do if I were in his shoes.

I cross my arms and rest my head against the back of the couch, letting my gaze drift to the high ceiling. My mind whirls, working overtime to find a solution. It has for days. All I come up with are blanks. Big. Fat. Fucking. Blanks.

Even if I wanted to call her a liar, I can’t. I believe Lia Melborne was telling the truth. An award-winning actress couldn’t fake the kind of remorse that’s been eating her up.

She didn’t know the name Reid Mergen and didn’t know how he would have found out but none of that matters at this point anyway. Facts are facts.

According to Lia, Annabelle was hysterical and had jumped out of the back of the car on Schultz Bridge—while they were driving. By the time they stopped, she’d already climbed onto the ledge and was talking about how her life wasn’t worth living and how everyone would be better off without her.

One of the girls was passed out in the back and didn’t know what was going on, but Lia and another one were trying to talk Annabelle down when along came a good Samaritan to save the day.

Charles Blackwell.

Only in saving my baby sister, Charles Blackwell lost his own life. And while I don’t blame Annabelle for not remembering, neither of the other two girls came forward to save the victim’s family unfathomable grief. Makes me sick.

“Besides…I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t tell Willow.” I sit up and lean forward. I push my thighs out with my elbows. “The thought that her father committed suicide has done a number on her for more than four years. She deserves the truth.” Every ugly detail of it.

I’m ill. Utterly fucking ill.

Noah copies my position. “Even if that means you lose her?”

I can’t swallow the acid rising in my throat fast enough. It’s pungent and tastes of wrong choices I want to make but can’t.

Mergen holding this over my head is unconscionable, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take a page out of his book and keep it from Willow, no matter the consequences. That would make me no better than him.

All I can do is nod.

“You know what’s ironic?” I say almost absently. “We have Annabelle today because of Charles Blackwell’s selflessness.” I glance at him. “And Willow is suffering without her father because of Annabelle’s selfishness. It’s so fucked up.”

“She was lost, Shaw. I know it’s hard to see that through everything that’s happened, but you need to remember how bad of a place Bluebelle was in at the time. Self-destruction was her middle name.”

“I know.” I scrub my hand over my face.

“It’s an unconscionable accident, but that’s all it was.” He sighs. “There has to be a way out of this. There’s always a way. We just have to find it.”

There’s no way out. I appreciate his friendship and optimism, but we are all royally fucked.

“I talked to Bull earlier,” Noah announces quietly.

I stiffen and my head snaps back his way. “You did what?”

“Calm the fuck down. We had to know the extent of what we’re dealing with here, legally.”

Before I do something, like say break his pretty boy nose, I push myself to stand. I walk ten paces away and breathe long and slow until the urge to throttle him passes. Mostly. “Did you tell him—?”

“He’s not stupid,” he breaks in, unrepentant. He eases back, laces his fingers together, and places his twined hands behind his head. “I didn’t mention her by name but I couldn’t very well get the answer I needed without giving him a rundown of the facts.”

“Fucking hell, Noah.”

A fear parallel to me losing Willow is what happens to Annabelle once this all comes out, outside of her obvious road back to drugs. Is there a legal requirement for a witness to come forward in an accidental death? Will the district attorney bring charges against her, even though she can’t remember most of that night? Will Willow want charges brought against my sister and her friends? Would I blame her?

I slide my hands into my pockets and stalk over to the windows, the urge to draw blood greater than it was a few seconds ago. The sun sits low in the sky, a blaze of bright orange. It’s now the middle of October. The election is a mere three weeks away.

Three weeks.

Is that all the time I have left with Willow? More? Less?

When does my life become barren and cold? Not worth living?

It should be today but I can’t force myself to tell Willow any more than I could Annabelle. Putting this off will bite me in the ass. Mark my words.

Pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, I squeeze my eyes shut. A massive headache is bearing down on me and I haven’t been able to take a full breath in days that isn’t laced with despair except when Willow is wrapped around me.

“What did he say?” I finally ask. My voice feels scratchy and sounds like shattered glass pieces scraping against each other. These are answers we need and I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the worst. I haven’t been ready to hear what my sister’s future will look like. I already know what mine does.

“Well, hypothetically”—I hear Noah shift to stand—“if the victim was trying to prevent a suicide and an accident ensued as a result that claimed the victim’s life, then the most the witnesses could be charged with is hindering an investigation. An accident is an accident, according to Bull. Regardless of past priors or incidents.”

Relief is as sharp as a lightning strike but it’s short-lived. It’s only one worry allayed. One hurdle overcome. The rest seem insurmountable.

My best friend sidles up beside me. Instead of enjoying our favorite Wednesday afternoon show, though, he turns his back to them and sets his butt against the window ledge, facing me. “It’s a slap on the hand, Merc. Charges likely won’t be filed. Bull said if it was his case he wouldn’t even bring it to the ADA.”

I hate how his words are as clinical as if we’re discussing a plot on CSI instead of Willow’s father and my sister, who was so fucked up she wanted to take her own life.

Jesus. H. Christ. If my father thought the picture in the paper was a shit show he has no idea what’s about to hit him.

My eyes cut to Noah. “I’m pissed you did it without consulting me first, but…thank you. It’s a relief to know at least she won’t go to prison.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. Not doing anything isn’t an option, though. It’s just…the timing could not be worse for my family.”

“I know.”

“This leaks to the press, my father is finished. Harrington will have a field day dragging us all through the mud.”

“That he will.”

I take up position next to him, leaning against the cool windows. We both stay quiet for a while before I share the one golden nugget I’ve found throughout this entire disaster. It’s the only thing that’s made me smile since I left Willow alone, sleeping in bed this morning.

“CJ had himself covered with a patent.”

Noah doesn’t say anything. When I look at him, though, he has this goofy smile on his face and at that moment I could not be more grateful for my friend. He cares about Willow and even though I’ll likely lose her, I know I can count on him to keep tabs on her so I can feed this unhealthy obsession I’ll always have for her.

He eyes me from the side. “Her wealth will put yours to shame,” he says with a giant grin on his face.

True. When the FDA grants their final approval for Zytin to be manufactured, her mother, and Willow by extension will be wealthy beyond their wildest imaginations. Granted, it may be up to a year yet, but the financial security I’d wanted to make sure she had was always there. She just didn’t know it.

I half chuckle, rubbing my hand through my hair. “That it will. She obviously has no clue.”

“I imagine something like that is easy to overlook if you don’t know what you’re looking for.”

“I imagine.”

“Everything else on the up and up?”

I nod. I did find one other thing that needs to be rectified but it’s something I want to keep to myself for now. It will take a bit more digging and I have no idea the steps I’ll need to take to make it happen.

“I’m going to lose her.” My voice is thick, strained.

“Have more faith in her than that, Merc. Have more faith that the infrastructure you’ve built can sustain this goddamn earthquake that’s about to hit. Because if you don’t, how can she?”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder. I went to a lot of work to get you two together.” He clasps my shoulder. “It was an unimaginable, unintentional, unthinkable accident, but her father did a brave thing saving your sister. I think once the shock wears off she’ll see it the same way I do.”

He pushes himself straight and strides toward the door. Hand on the knob, he glances back. “Say, think you can sweet talk Sierra into attending your dad’s fundraiser with me Saturday night?”

After I get over the surprise of his request, I begin to laugh. Really, really laugh. I laugh until tears gather at the corners of my eyes. It feels good letting the pent up out.

“Some inside joke I’m unaware of?”

At the seriousness of Noah’s face, I laugh even harder.

“What the hell? Did she hate me that much? Did she say something to Willow?” Now his arms are crossed and his face holds a frown.

I howl.

“Forget it.”

He spins and stomps out of my office, giving me a middle-finger salute, and somehow I feel lighter. Stronger. And a little more optimistic that maybe, just maybe I can contain the chaos when it implodes because I know I won’t have to handle it alone.

Noah is right. It was an unimaginable, horrific accident. But an accident it was. I only hope both Annabelle and Willow can see it that way and we can all move forward together, a happily ever after secured with everyone I love beside me.