“She okay?” My chest hurts so goddamn bad I’m sure someone is squeezing it. I’m oxygen starved, already slowly suffocating without her.

“She didn’t say a word the entire way. She seemed pretty out of it. I got her inside and was going to stay until Sierra got off work but she told me to leave, so I stayed in my car instead until Sierra came home.”

“Did you talk to her?”

“Who?”

“Sierra.”

“No. I didn’t talk to her. She didn’t see me.”

“Thank you,” I reply dully. “For taking care of her.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t thank me.” Noah takes a seat beside me on my sister’s thrift store, vomit-green couch. The cushions are pilled, matted, and stained, the shitty décor straight from the seventies. It’s ancient. Eclectic. It fits her. “How’s Bluebelle?” he asks.

“How is Bluebelle?” I echo.

Well, let’s see. After I texted Noah and told him to get Willow home safely, I decided to get my ass in gear and go after her myself. But the moment I stepped into the hallway, I saw Annabelle, slumped against the wall in a stupor. The brat had followed me instead of going back to the party as I’d instructed. She overheard everything. Every sordid detail of a night that intersected the futures of two families in a twisted, horrific way. So, not only did I lose the chance to tell Willow on my own terms, I couldn’t break it gently to Annabelle either.

The entire evening has been a clusterfuck of epic proportions, and I have no one to blame but myself.

“She’s too calm. I’m worried about her.”

“Is she asleep?”

I breathe out a heavy sigh. “Pretending to be.”

Noah’s been gone for hours. It’s now after four in the morning. I’m surprised he showed up here, yet not. I’m not sure I want him here, though I don’t tell him to leave.

I stare at the hideous piece of art on the wall directly across from us. It’s a picture of a woman’s body, seated, but the head is a single giant eyeball with a white turban wrapped around the top and draped over her shoulder. The eyeball watches you, follows you around the room. It’s bizarre and disturbing.

Annabelle was so excited when she bought it at a garage sale for five bucks she could hardly contain herself. I told her she should have been paid to take it. She replied in her usual flippant way, “You should see it when you’re high.” When I attempted to rip it off the wall, she laughed, telling me, “Relax. I’ve never seen her when I’m high.” She stepped back and stared at it thoughtfully. “I know you see something disgusting when you look at her, but I see a reminder to stay the course, you know. Eyes open. One foot in front of the other. Be something more than everyone thinks they see.” She’s not only smart; she’s insightful, too. I love that introspective side of her.

Now what? Now what happens after all the hard work she’s put in? I’m terrified. Absolutely fucking terrified. She knows I stayed and she knows why. Neither of us said it, but this is a suicide watch, plain and simple.

“I could use a stiff drink,” Noah announces.

“Yeah. Me too.” Only I worry I’ll fall into the bottom of the bottle if I get started. Plus, I can’t have that shit anywhere near Annabelle right now. No telling what she’ll do when I fall asleep. Which is why I’ve had three Red Bulls since midnight. I plan on keeping vigil right here until morning. Then I will drag her kicking and screaming to my house so I can watch her like a hawk until I’m sure she won’t go off the rails.

“Did you tell your folks?”

“No. I just played it off as boyfriend trouble. Wasn’t too hard to convince them.”

“And Willow?”

“Told them she wasn’t feeling well and I had you take her home since I was dealing with Annabelle.” Not a total lie.

“They’re going to find out.”

“I know. I plan to talk to them in the morning. Time to air all the dirty laundry, I guess. Besides, we’re all going to need to pitch in.” I scrub a hand over my face. “Bluebelle’s going to need therapy for years to deal with this. My parents aren’t going to be able to bury their heads any longer.”

“I don’t think they mean to ignore it, Merc.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s hard shit to deal with. I get it. But if they don’t open their eyes, we will lose her.”

Noah matches my position, sinking into the couch in a slumped position, legs spread wide. We’re both still decked out in our designer suits. Still wearing our high-priced loafers and $10,000 watches.

I am a man with immeasurable wealth, yet in this moment, you won’t find a single soul poorer than me.

The only woman I will ever love doesn’t want to see me again, and my baby sister is balancing on a high wire and if she makes one misstep, she could fall to her death.

“Give her time, Shaw,” he says quietly after I think he’s drifted off.

I blink back the burn behind my closed lids. I want to weep.

“Which one?” I ask. The woman who hates me or the woman who knows what she’s taken from me?

“Both.” He sets his hand on my thigh and squeezes once. “Both.”

Noah scoots back, wedging himself in the corner and we fall quiet, nothing left to say.

I know he’s right, but I’m here to tell you…as each second ticks by without Willow, without hearing from her, without talking to her, without knowing what she’s thinking, I fall a little further into despair.

Only months ago, my life was easy and uncomplicated. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, why I wanted. I dated and fucked countless women without guilt or a yearning for more. I was free and content. I had it all, or so I thought.

Then along comes this hellfire named Willow Blackwell, who tested my patience and hypnotized my soul. In her, I found what was lost in me. She’s color, she’s sun, she’s rain, she’s earth, she’s breath, she’s warmth, she’s salt, she’s sweet.

She’s life.

She’s mine.

Without Willow, I am nothing.

A ghost of the man I thought I was.

I can’t give her up. No matter what she says or how many roadblocks she puts in my path, I won’t be like Mergen and walk away from us. It’s not in my makeup. Never gonna happen. My life was on pause before her and will be again without her.

I’ve always considered myself a fairly selfless person but with Willow, I am beyond selfish. I want it all. I want every second, every day, every year, every decade with her until death do us part. I want to build a life with her that other people envy and I won’t give up until I have it.

I’m desperate to go to her and force her to listen to me, make her accept my apology. Convince her we can weather this, somehow, someway. Never in my life have I been this torn. The more time I give her, the farther away she’ll get.

But I can’t leave Annabelle. I can’t. Not for a second. Willow may be mad and confused and distraught but I know Sierra will take good care of her until I can.

As hard as it is, I need to stay here. Annabelle is in a perilous place, and no matter how much I ache for Willow, this is where I need to be. I’d never forgive myself if I weren’t here and she did something irreversible.

If there’s a hell, this is it, right here. I am balls deep in its blistering heat.

Hearing Noah’s even breaths, indicating he’s nodded off, I jerk my phone from my front pocket and pull up Willow’s number. She said she doesn’t want to hear from me again? Tough. She clearly doesn’t grasp how persistent I can be when I want something.

I type out a short message, my finger hovering only momentarily over the send button before telling the woman I love with every fiber of me in no uncertain terms I am not giving her up. I tell her the same thing I told her when I had her underneath me at the hotel after I swept her from the dance floor at Skyfall.

I’ll give her time and space. I know her. I know she needs it, but the clock is ticking because this isn’t the end of us. Not by a long shot.

Nothing has been worth fighting for more.