I’m holding her in my arms, breathing in her scent. She sleeps like a baby, but after all those sleepless hours during BUD/S, I’m finding it hard to relax. It’s weird to think absolute horror and pure bliss can be so close together.

If I’d known Mac would go to bed with me after SEALs training—to my bed—I would have started training three years ago. I know life as an elite soldier is not going to be easy, but the fact that Mac is mine, that we’re together, that we’re going to have a future together, is going to make it easier for me. Even when I’m overseas. I hope I’ll be stationed here in San Diego. But even if I’m not, she’ll definitely need an apartment for now. She can’t stay here with Dad anymore.

I gently kiss her on the shoulder. I still can’t believe this. It all happened so suddenly. Half a day ago, I still thought she would never love me. And now… Now, she’s already told me she loves me, while lying in my arms. She made love to me. And gave me such a heavenly blow job I almost came the first second of it. I’m glad I managed to pull myself together. That would have been embarrassing.

When I finally fall asleep, my senses are full of her. I love her. And the fact that she loves me too is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

* * *

“What the fuck is going on here?”

I’m wide awake immediately, just like I was trained to be—jumping out of bed, ready to rumble. I squint into the dark. Dad is standing in front of me, looking at me with such fury I feel like a four-year-old who just spilled his expensive whiskey.

Mac wakes up much more slowly. At first, there’s a happy smile on her lips, then her eyes widen in shock. She sits up, wrapping the sheet around her body. I’m thankful for it. I don’t want anybody—not even my father—to see her naked.

“What the fuck is this?” he screams like a madman. “What are you doing in my house? You little shit! Get out! This is my house! And you have the balls to come in here and fuck my girlfriend? Fuck off! You’re a disgrace. You’re dead to me!”

I grab my sweatpants from the chair. “Dad, let me—”

“No! There’s nothing to explain! You’ve trespassed into my home. Get out, or I’ll call the police!”

I’ve never seen him like this. I don’t know what to do.

“Carter,” Mac quietly pleads.

His angry eyes turn on her. “Shut up, you fucking whore.”

“Don’t you talk to her like that!” I yell at him.

“She’s my girlfriend. I’ll talk to her however I want!”

Carey comes in, looking from one person to the other. “Dad?”

“This is none of your business, Carey! Get out!”

Mac gets up, holding the sheet over herself. “Carter, please let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain. You’re a fucking cunt, just like their mom.”

At that moment, I see red. And I hit him. I just about manage to hold back—and only break his nose.

“Hunter, don’t!” Mac calls, sounding desperate.

Carey darts between us, begging me to calm down. But blood is streaming out of Dad’s nose, and I feel a sick sense of satisfaction.

He gets up from where he fell on the floor. “You’re no longer wanted here, Hunter. This house is no longer yours. Get out, or I’ll call the police.”

I look at Mac and hold out my hand to her. She stares at it, and every second that goes by, I start feeling more insecure. She is mine, right? My girl. She’s coming with me. She’s leaving this house with me. But she’s not taking my hand. Why isn’t she taking my fucking hand? I love her. She loves me.

“Hunter,” she whispers desperately.

Squinting, I look away from her—to Carey, who’s giving her a surprised look, apparently also unable to understand why she isn’t going with me.

“Hunter, I need to talk to your dad,” she says, and it’s like somebody slapped me in the face. It’s like I’m the one with the broken nose, not Dad.

“What?” I ask, incredulous. She wants to talk to Dad? She wants to stay here?

“Hunter, please.”

My heart smashes into a million pieces, which are then put through a shredder and ground to dust. This is impossible. Why isn’t she coming with me? How can she stay here?

“Mac?” I breathe, not wanting to believe what I’m hearing, what I’m seeing.

“I’m sorry, Hunter. I need to talk to your dad,” she says again.

I have never felt so horrible. Not once in my entire life. For the past three years, she has chosen him over me. And a little fucking obviously doesn’t change anything about that.

“I can’t believe you,” I say quietly, to keep my voice from trembling. “After all this, you’re choosing him? After all we had? After how he just treated you? You’re staying?”

“Hunter…”

“No, you know what? I’m finished with you. I’ve been waiting for you for years, and you kept messing with me. You kept giving me mixed signals, not even having the backbone to give me a clear yes or no. And now you’re staying with him? Damn you!”

I run out of the room, nearly blind with anger.

“Hunter!” she calls after me. I trip down the stairs and grab my stuff. But before I can run out of the house, her hand grabs my arm.

“Hunter, please, let me explain…”

“There’s nothing to explain!” I scream. “You chose him! I don’t want anything to do with you anymore!” I dart out of the house. As I slip inside the car, she comes out the front door behind me, calling my name, her face wet with tears. In the rearview mirror, I see her sink to the ground and let her head fall to the road, crying relentlessly.

The sight of it rips my heart apart a little more. But it’s like they say—better a terrible end than unending terror. At least I know now that I can never have her. Never.