Giving Layla time to decide if I was worth the risk was driving me fucking mad. It confirmed I am not a patient man. Still a man of my word, I did my damnedest to let her be. After all, it took me nearly fifty years on this planet to make my own decision. Let’s hope Layla makes up her mind a lot quicker or I might not live long enough to give this thing a go.
Imagine the irony of that shit.
A man finds his heart and kicks the bucket before he gets to claim it.
I should probably take a daily vitamin or something. You know, to ensure that twist of fate doesn’t happen.
A precaution if you will.
Adding a trip to GNC to my list of things to do, I stare at myself in the mirror. If my brothers could see me now they’d rip me apart. I’d be the laughingstock of the Satan’s Knights for years to come. Dressed in my favorite pair of Levi’s and a fucking plaid shirt that Layla swears is fashionable, I slip my arms through my leather vest and sigh. I look like Howdy fucking Doody gone rogue.
Whatever.
If it makes the kid happy then I will shut my mouth and deal with it.
Man, the things you do for the people you care about—there is no limit.
Grabbing the clear plastic box from my dresser, I make my way down the stairs and out the door. I barely get a chance to knock on the door before it swings open and half-pint greets me.
“You’re late,” she chastises.
“I’m ten seconds late,” I argue as she sizes me up.
“Did you get the flower?”
“I got the flower. Pink roses, right?”
“Yeah, let me see,” she orders.
Placing one hand on her hip, she extends the other and taps her foot impatiently. She might be an itty-bitty thing, but Jesus, she’s got a mighty attitude. Out of Layla’s three kids, Lexi is the one that’s going to give everyone a run for their money. I hope I’m around when she’s sixteen because I can already picture the fun I’ll have when the boys start coming around.
Instead of handing her the clear box, I open it and take out the corsage. Turning her wrist around, I slide the elastic over her hand and place the flower on her. She stares up at me bewildered and I give her a wink.
“That one’s for you,” I tell her, showing her the other corsage in the box.
“What do you say, Lexi?” Layla says from behind her, forcing me to lift my eyes and drink her in. Giving me her smile, she silently thanks me and reminds me how much I love that fucking mouth of hers.
How much I miss it.
How much I want it.
“Thanks, Lee,” Lexi says, dragging my attention away from her mother. She reaches up on her tiptoes and tugs at my leather vest. I bend my knees and she plants a kiss on my cheek as I give her ponytail a playful tug. I’m quickly forgotten as she spins around and runs into the living room.
“Come in,” Layla says softly, taking my hands and pulling me deeper into her home.
Glancing over her shoulder, she checks to make sure the kids aren’t watching us before she leans into me. “I miss you,” she murmurs, sliding her hands down my chest. “The shirt looks good on you,” she adds, cocking her head to the side. A grin works her lips and she lets out a chuckle. “You hate it, don’t you?”
“I look like a fucking lumberjack,” I growl, wrapping an arm around her waist. “You give any thought to what we talked about the other night?” I ask her, pressing her into me, desperate to feel her. She doesn’t get a chance to answer because Jenna starts down the stairs.
Pulling away from Layla, I lift my eyes to the little beauty walking down the stairs and my lips quirk. After Lexi revealed her sister’s favorite color, I figured Jenna would wear a frilly pink dress. I wasn’t expecting her to pair it with a short leather jacket.
“Well look at you,” I say as she smiles shyly at me.
“The jacket was her idea,” Layla informs, throwing her arm over her daughter’s shoulders. “She thought it would make you feel more comfortable about dressing up,” she explains, pressing a kiss to Jenna’s temple. “Go stand with Lee, I want to take a picture of the two of you.”
“Do you mind pictures, Lee?” Jenna asks as she makes her way to my side. I couldn’t give a shit about pictures, but right now I’m pretty sure this kid could get me to do anything.
“Love them,” I mutter, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as I draw her into my side. “Make sure you send it to me,” I tell Layla.
“Smile,” she says, clicking away on her phone before grabbing Jenna’s and taking some more. After a dozen or so clicks, she lowers the phone and smiles. “You guys look great.”
“We should go,” I say, taking the other corsage from the box and fitting it to Jenna’s wrist. “Is there a buffet or something we can hit up while we’re there?”
Jenna laughs as she links her arm with mine.
“No, but there is a burger place across from the school. We can show our faces and then go for cheeseburgers.”
A girl after my own heart.
“Sounds like a plan,” I grin. “Give your mother a kiss goodbye.”
I watch as she does what she’s told before glancing around the house once more, finding it strange that Tommy hasn’t surfaced to crack some jokes at my expense.
“Where’s Tommy?” I ask curiously, watching as Layla cringes slightly.
“I dropped him and a girl at the movies,” she mutters. I can’t help but laugh finding it amusing that Layla is torn up over her son going on a date. If she only knew the conversation the kid and I had the day before.
“Let me guess, Brianne?”
Genuinely surprised, she stares at me like I have a third eye. Linking my hand with Jenna’s I start for the door.
“How did you know that?”
“Just a hunch,” I reply over my shoulder.
Layla walks behind us and stands on the porch as I help Jenna into my truck. Once she’s put her seat belt on, I wave at Layla and slide into the driver’s seat. The ride to the school is relatively quiet as Jenna is the shyest of the three kids. She tells me a little about school and the teachers that I might meet. When we pull up in front, I open the door for her and she stalls.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, seeing the concern etched on her pretty face. She lifts her chin and stares over my shoulder at the school, at all the fathers and daughters walking into the gymnasium.
“Well, what if they ask who you are?”
I hadn’t thought of that either. I figured we walk in there with our heads held high, drink some of that fruity shit and take a few spins around the dance floor. After all that, we would get the hell out of dodge and fill our bellies with burgers and fries. It never occurred to me that people would wonder if I was her father or ask where the son of a bitch was.
“We tell the truth. Your dad couldn’t make it and I’ve never been to a dance before so you did me a favor and brought me.”
“You’ve never been to a dance?”
“Nope,” I admit. “So, what do you say, you going to take me to my first shindig or what?”
Placing her hand in mine, she jumps out of the truck and stares up at me. The smile she gives me is bigger than her whole face and I start to wonder what I did in the world to be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of something so beautiful.
She keeps that smile on throughout the dance and I learn her laughter is one of my new favorite things. Jenna may be the quieter one of the three but she’s also the one that gives the most. Like her mother, she spreads joy without realizing it.
After a few moves and a whole lot of Kool-Aid, I stood back and watched her on the dance floor with her friends. I didn’t feel as out of place as I thought I would. I was just like the other guys standing on the sidelines watching their little girls with a proud smile on my face and making a memory.
That was something I missed out on through the years.
Something I wanted more of.
We left the dance and as promised we chowed down on burgers. I felt old as fuck when she had no idea what an egg cream was and ancient when I had to explain how to make one to the waiter. We made another memory when Jenna finally took her first sip of one and loved it.
The ride home was less quiet than the ride going as Jenna recapped all the best moments of the dance. She thanked me more times than I can count, and when we pulled up in front of the house she gave me the tightest hug I’ve ever received.
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t one of the better days of my life.
Walking her to the door, I began to understand why so many men choose to walk a straight line. The rewards are sweet on this side of the fence.
Pulling open the door, Layla barely gets a chance to greet us before Jenna charges inside and starts for the stairs.
“Thanks, Lee,” she calls again.
“Wait a minute,” Layla stammers. “Aren’t you going to tell me about the dance?”
“It was great,” Jenna replies. “I’ll tell you all about it in the morning. I want to post my pictures on Instagram. Gianna already has hers up and twenty likes!”
Having no clue what Instagram is, I shove my hands into my pockets and laugh as the kid disappears, leaving Layla dumbfounded.
“She had a blast,” I tell her.
“Clearly,” she mutters, turning back to me. Her eyes travel the length of me as the corners of her lips curve. “You look like you survived too,” she teases.
I nod, watching her lean against the door. She doesn’t say anything more and we quietly stare at one another. I bite back all the things on the tip of my tongue and fight the urge to push her up against the door and take that mouth.
“I should go,” I say.
“Stay.”
I shake my head.
I can’t stay.
My willpower is only so strong.
“You make up your mind?” I ask.
“Let’s talk,” she urges, pushing off the door.
Hesitating for a moment, I follow her inside. Wanting the truth and being able to handle it are two different things. While I hate being in limbo, I’m not confident that I’m going to like what she has to say. I don’t want to hear she doesn’t think I have a place in her life or that I’m not suited to be around her kids.
Grabbing two beers from the kitchen, she leads me onto her back porch. I take the bottles from her hands and open them before handing one back to her. Silently we toast one another, clinking the neck of her bottle to the neck of mine. Sitting on one of the lounge chairs, I lean back and take a long pull of the ale and watch as she stares up at the sky.
The longer she remains quiet, the worse I imagine the conversation will be once she starts talking.
Leaning back, I stare at her over the neck of the bottle and watch her hips sway. She spins around and looks at me with those honey eyes of hers.
“Dance with me,” she murmurs.
Fuck, she’s a sight.
With the moon and stars playing as a backdrop, she dances to the music inside her head, freely and without any inhibitions.
Beautiful.
“Dance with me, Lee,” she repeats. Her words breathe life into me just as they always do and I set my beer down. Walking over to her, I ignore the fact there is no music and place my hands on her hips.
Any other day in my life, I wouldn’t have done it. I would have thought it was ridiculous, but now I dance. I fucking dance because life is too short and moments like this are too hard to come by.
Layla wraps her arms around my neck and I nuzzle her neck, breathing in the sweet scent of her.
“You took my daughter to a father daughter dance tonight,” she whispers against my ear. “You bought my other little girl a corsage because you didn’t want her to feel left out,” she continues as my hands slide toward her back.
“Yeah,” I murmur. “I did.”
“I found condoms in my son’s drawer this morning,” she adds.
Shit.
My hands still and I wait for the tongue lashing but it never comes.
“He told me you gave them to him,” she reveals.
Fucking kid.
I told him to keep it between us.
“Layla—”
“Thank you,” she whispers, pulling back a fraction so our eyes lock. “I hate the idea that he is ready for that but I’m grateful he felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it and that you thought about his safety.”
“Yeah, well, it was for selfish purposes. I can’t wrap my head around you becoming a grandmother,” I tease, making light of it because I’m not sure where she’s going with all this. Is this the calm before the storm? Does she plan on thanking me for my good deeds before sending me on my way?
“My kids adore you,” she reveals. “I don’t know how it happened, if it happened over time or in the blink of an eye but somehow you went from being this asshole neighbor of ours to this amazing man who steps in when we need him. You and me…” She pauses, mocking me as she points between us. “This connection we have. I’ve never experienced something like it before. As unexpected as it is, it’s also rare. So very rare and beautiful. It’s everything I gave up on and everything I’ve ever wanted.”
I’d fucking kiss her right now if I wasn’t too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m a pessimist. It’s what a person becomes when they’ve been disappointed as much as I have been.
“I don’t know where you stand with your club and I’m not so sure you do either, but—”
“Forget the club,” I interrupt, lifting my hands to her face. “You got room for me in your life?”
“Yes,” she murmurs. “But we can’t just forget the club. That is part of who you are and should you decide that you want that piece of you again…then we’ll figure it out. Together, we’ll figure it—”
She doesn’t get to finish because my patience expires and my mouth slams over hers. I don’t need any other words, I just need her.
Her fucking mouth.
That wicked mouth is mine now.
Pushing my fingers through her hair, I kiss her hard, making up for all the nights I didn’t. Her lips part as I untangle my hands from her hair and slide them down her back to her ass. Grabbing her round cheeks, I rock against her making her feel what she does to me. Making her understand I’m as much hers as she is mine and this thing we got is mutual.
I’ll be a giver too.
I’ll give all of me in exchange for a single piece of her.
Using my tongue, I pull the moans from deep inside her throat. My teeth get involved, grazing her lips and I start to lose my shit as I back her up against the railing. Not sure where to touch first, I keep one hand on her ass and grab her tit with the other, pulling it out of her tank top.
I tear my lips away from hers and bend my head, groaning as I take her nipple between my teeth. Her hands are everywhere, clawing at my shirt one second and pulling my hair the next as I pull her other tit out. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had them in front of me and only relived playing with them in my head, but I can’t get enough. It takes everything in me not to pull my cock out and fuck the shit out of her tits—to paint them with my come and brand her.
“Mommy?”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Pulling back, I brace my hands on the sides of Layla, caging her in as she adjusts her shirt and covers herself.
“Mommy, I don’t feel good,” Lexi calls, stepping onto the deck.
Moving aside, I stare into Layla’s apologetic eyes for a brief second before she brushes past me and heads to her daughter. Lifting the half-pint into her arms she places her hand on her forehead and checks her for a temperature.
“I think you may have a fever,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to her temple as I walk up behind her. Lexi lifts her head off her mother’s shoulder and I notice the kid’s eyes are glassy.
Sick and all, she’s cute as fuck and still wearing the corsage I gave her earlier.
“I’m going to head out and leave you to it,” I tell Layla, placing my palm on the small of her back. “I’m right next door if you need anything.”
She nods and I turn to Lexi.
“Feel better, kid,” I add, giving her ponytail a tug.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Layla calls when I’m halfway out the door.
“You bet your ass you will.”
Leaving her to the biggest part of her life, I go back home to the saddest part of mine.
In every man’s life there comes a day of reckoning. Sometimes it happens more than once. It’s not always a day when darkness is exposed but a day when light shines and sinners are absolved of their trespasses. A day when a man lets go of what is gone and appreciates what still remains.
When he takes a pair of shoes and safely tucks them away.
That day has come for me.
It’s time to lay those shoes to rest.
It’s time to look forward and not behind.
Like the woman who wore them will always be part of me, so will these shoes.
Out of sight they might be but forgotten they’ll never go.