I couldn’t believe what had just escaped from his perfect mouth. Did he say he was close to losing his scholarship?

“The coach is only keeping me on the team because I perform so well. But even to do that, he has to pull some strings,” Evan admitted.

I wasn’t sure what to say. I was under the impression that Evan was smarter than average, from the way he looked, moved, and talked about things. It made little sense to me why he’d be failing anything at all.

“Why?” I asked, pouring a dollop of olive oil into the pan.

“I just don’t have enough time for everything.” He continued.

Now I felt myself back out a little bit. It sounded like a poor excuse. It sounded like he wasn’t trying.

I was silent as I processed my thoughts.

He added, “I want to make everything work, but I have a lot of student loans. I keep having to pull more and more money out, but it’s not enough.” He admitted, a crinkle of stress scrunching up between his eyebrows. I barely made rent this last month.”

He began massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “It’s so stressful, but I need a job to make ends meet. If I’m not at work, I’m always in classes. Even though I’m only taking the minimum amount of credits this semester, all the work is adding up. I always feel like I’m falling short. No matter how hard I work or how much studying I do, I’m always disappointing someone.” He said, the his voice cracking slightly.

Was he about to cry?

“How about yourself?” I asked, trying to shift the tone of the conversation to motivational while I dropped slices of bacon in a sizzling pan, “Do you feel like you’re disappointing your friends,”

I cracked another egg and let the innards drop in the pan.

“Your family,”

Another egg plopped into the pan.

“Oh… yourself?” I asked, cracking the third egg.

Evan watched, his blue eyes trained on the goo, unsure how to answer.

He leaned in, thinking about it for a moment.

“I’m disappointing myself for sure.” He finally said, “But I don’t know if that’s important.”

I noticed that he skimmed right over talking about his family and friends. Something about it seemed a little dodgy. I decided to dig.

“Where are you from?” I asked, leaning over the counter towards him while the eggs and bacon sizzled away.

He paused for a moment and shifted uncomfortably. “Tennessee.”

I smiled. “Where in Tennessee?”

“You’ve probably never heard of it,” he said, his eyes shifting down to look at his hands. I loved his steely blue eyes, but I didn’t like seeing them so sad.

I gave him a few seconds of silence while he decided whether or not to tell me about his home life. When he was quiet, I dug deeper.

“Are you an only child?” I asked gently.

“No, I have a brother,” he said, letting the words flow reluctantly out of his mouth. “I don’t get along with him.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.” I said, not sure if I could touch this issue or if it was off limits.

“No, it’s fine… He just, he never got his act together. Growing up with him – he’s older so I looked up to him a lot. He always got good grades and everything— he was the one person I looked up to.”

My ears perked up. I was dying to know, but I wanted to be respectful of his privacy. He’d tell me when he was ready.

He paused to take a breath. “He looked out for me, protected me during the roughest years of my life. My dad divorced our mom and ran off with some eighteen year old who went to our high school. That’s when the drinking started.”

I let out a breath and touched his hand sympathetically.

He continued, “It was a downward spiral from there, as she got more and more out of control and unreliable. I don’t remember the exact moment when it shifted her priorities, but by my sophomore year of high school, she clearly preferred alcohol over us. At least she told us as much.”

I was silent, enraptured in Evan’s story while the food cooked.

“After my brother graduated, and he was a year older than me, he got into Duke and said he was going to make a name for himself. He had straight A’s, a 4.0, and mentored kids in our high school who were going through a tough time. He tutored people. And that’s something that I took up as well. I really enjoyed it!”

He looked up at me, and I could see the memories of helping others who were disadvantaged. I made a mental note. Perhaps I’d unearthed a passion of his?

“But my brother got into Duke and though our mom forbade him to go since we couldn’t afford it, he somehow came through again with another solution. He applied for as many scholarships as he could and got them all. He had a full ride. I was so happy for him; he showed me that it was all possible.”

He was quiet for a moment, summoning the courage to go on. I waited patiently.

“But once he got to college, things changed. His first semester was good, but then he started drinking and meeting girls, and getting in with the wrong group of friends. His grades began to drop, and he started to lose his scholarships one by one.

“Then, like me, he had to make ends meet, so he started working at a restaurant. And there, he met a lot of really shady people.” He explained.

“What happened then?” I asked.

“They got him to be a dealer for them. He could make a lot more money with less effort. Then he started getting into some heavy shit; he told me that his supplier started lacing everything with other stuff. At least that’s what he told me. I don’t know, he lies about everything now…” He trailed off.

“That must be hard to deal with,” I offered while I flipped the eggs and bacon. “How is he doing now?”

“He dropped out of college. Knocked up some girl, and he’s in and out of jail. He’s completely changed from who I looked up to a few years ago. Now I have no one.”

I dropped the spatula with a clatter and turned to face him. “That’s not true. You have me.”

He inhaled sharply and his pupils swelled larger. Biting his lip, he looked down, but carried on.

“I just wish I could help him. And I don’t want to go down the same path. I’m very determined to graduate, get a good job, and be able to support myself.”

He said that last bit with a fire in his eyes that unbelievably, I found even more attractive. I didn’t think he could get any more perfect.

“But around every corner, it always seems like there’s something—like I’m just a hair away from losing my scholarship. If I miss a swim practice, or if my grades fall even a little bit, I’m at risk. And then I’ll spend more time trying to make that up, and the cascade effect will happen to me, too.”

“There’s a lot of mistakes in a row your brother had to make in order to end up in his situation.” I reasoned skeptically, loading the eggs and bacon onto two plates. “You’re determined and bright enough that it won’t happen to you.” I comforted as I set a plate of food down in front of him.

“It’s easy for you to say that; I’m sure nothing like that has happened to any of your friends. You’re not from Hillbilly Town, USA.” He finished.

He did have a point. I was from Aspen, where some people from my school had gotten into drugs, but most people were from wealthy families and found easy paths to success.

For a moment, I wondered where I’d be if I didn’t have my family financially supporting me during high school and college. I was reluctant to think that, because I’d like to think I’d earned all this myself, but it did make a difference.

Something stirred within me. I had to motivate this man; I had to help him. As the eggs and bacon sizzled on the plates and filled my kitchen with savory smells, I leaned on the counter across from him. “Being accountable for yourself is the most important. You have to hold yourself as the highest priority, or else you’ll be unhappy.”

Thoughts of Kyle, and memories of trying to make him happy were trying to bubble up in my mind, but I kept my eyes trained on the food. I would not let them take me down there again.

I peeked at him and those dark eyelashes of his were flicking about. God, he was so beautiful. I had to do something to keep him here; keep him talking to me. He opened his mouth.

“Later today, I have to go back to my job.” He said. “I hate it there.”

“Why do you even have a job?” I asked, genuinely curious. “I thought this school paid athletes to come here.”

“Not nearly enough,” He admitted, tilting his head to the side and smiling weakly. “I take a bus all the way into Detroit, where no one knows me, so that I can be a waiter. I make good tips!” He said as if that made it worth it.

I was still keeping an eye on the cooking food.

“You can quit.” I said shortly. “You have to be my model until the end of the semester at least.” I finished, as if that settled things. Something inside of me really liked saying he was mine.

His eyes were dancing now; he was enjoying this. “But that income isn’t guaranteed. I don’t know if or when you’ll get done with those thousand pictures.” He said.

I bristled at his doubt. “I always finish. Always.” I replied, locking onto his blue eyes. There was no noise but the sizzling food in the background. And the sizzling chemistry between us as we both felt this intense connection.

He broke the gaze first, looking down at his hands on the counter. I loved seeing him like that; he looked all vulnerable.

“You will quit your job.” I commanded. “I’ll take care of you.”

“Yes sir.” He submitted, but then his face split into a wide grin.

He was mocking me.

I felt myself get hard again right then and there. But we couldn’t have this food going cold on us, so I pushed myself up off the counter and tended to the eggs and bacon.

There was something about Evan, something that really got me going that I couldn’t put my finger on. Maybe it was the fact that he was a famous athlete. Maybe it was the fact that he was unattainable for most people.

And I was making him mine. At least, while he was under my roof, he belonged to me. And I wouldn’t have some shitty restaurant in Detroit be making a fool of him; I didn’t want him to feel like he had to lower himself in order to make ends meet.

I would take care of him; it was that simple. I would make sure he was comfortable and happy, and that he could focus on the things that really mattered. Completing his degree was important to him, so I would move heaven and earth to make that happen.

The thought of clearing the path for him filled me with pride.

“Today, you’re staying here. We have work to do. You’ll call into your job and quit.” I commanded, looking him in the eye as I poured the omelettes onto a plate.

“But they have my paycheck, I have to go pick it up.”

I closed my eyes and tilted my head towards the ceiling, exasperated. But the thought of leaving money on the table quelled my frustration. It was money that Evan had rightfully earned.

I carefully took the bacon out of the sizzling pan and put it on the plates too, arranging the slices perfectly parallel. Then I walked around the counter and put a plate in front of Evan just as his stomach began to growl.

“Wow, this looks amazing Sam, thank you!” He said, beginning to shovel the bacon into his mouth.

“Eat up,” I said, taking a bite out of the bacon myself.

I loved seeing how ravenous Evan was for food; how I could feed him, how I could take care of him and sustain him. He was under my roof, so it was my responsibility to care for him and make sure he got everything he needed.

“How about you?” He said, chewing on the crispy pork fat and looking at me.

“What about me?” I asked defensively. There was something probing in Evan’s blue eyes that made me nervous. I turned my attention to my food so I wouldn’t have to look at him.

“I dunno, anything. Anything you want to talk about. I feel like I’ve been dominating this conversation.” He said, peering up at me. “…and I’m sure you meant it that way.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said evasively, knowing exactly what he meant. How could he see through my defenses like this?

I took another bite of my omelet.

“You push everyone away. Why?” He asked.

I stopped chewing. Was it that obvious?

“Other people are distractions,” I explained. The image of Kyle swam to the surface of my mind. Now, even in my memory, his face paled in comparison to this golden god sitting next to me. Kyle didn’t seem like such a monster weighing on my mind anymore.

“Other people are important.” Evan said, “You don’t have to do everything alone, you know.” He said with a wink, taking another bite of bacon.

Inside, I involuntarily warmed. Evan was infuriating; piercing through my defenses like this.

He kept going, sensing that there was a well to be dug here. “You don’t have to do it alone. Let me help you.”

I looked down at my breakfast silently. I needed time alone to process what was just said to me; something that was never offered to me before: emotional support. I didn’t know it could feel so… warm and happy. I was used to being with Kyle, whose form of support was pushing me to meet my goals. And though I was thankful for that, more than thankful because it helped shape me into the badass I was today, it wasn’t what I needed.

Not anymore.

As I washed my plate, I thought to myself, what did I need? Then I snuck a glance at the beautiful man eating my food, sitting at my counter, looking blissfully out the window. The afternoon light was shining on his sculpted features, enveloping him in a warm golden glow.

I couldn’t believe I’d gotten someone so beautiful as a model. And now I got to study him, over and over and over. In different ways, in different mediums. I got to explore who he was, inside and out. And he would have to keep coming back here, to my territory to do that.

I took his empty plate that he handed me and began to wash the dishes.

“No, don’t do that, I’ve got it.” He insisted, rushing over to me and pressing his body against mine, trying to push me out of the way.

I relented, letting him take my place at the sink. Did he… did he really just take this job away from me?

Instead of being pissed like I thought I would be, I felt warmed. This was genuine kindness, a politeness I was unaccustomed to in the people I usually dated. I was used to dating takers.

But Evan was clearly a giver.

This opened up a world of exciting possibilities. Instead of feeling drained by this man being in my space, I felt good. I felt energized.

I wrapped my arms around him from behind as he scrubbed the dishes, and he leaned his head back onto my shoulder.

“I didn’t know… that being with a man could feel this good. This right.” He uttered, melting into me.

I had to admit, our bodies just fit together.

After he was done with the dishes and the pots and pans, He checked his watch.

“Oh no I’ve been here too long, I gotta go to work!”

I nodded, made a beeline for the closet, and got his coat for him as he laced up his boots. I held out his coat and he looked up at me with a “Thanks” and slid his arm into one of the sleeves, then the other. Then he zipped it up. I hugged him.

“I’ve got to go into work…” Evan repeated, stepping out my door into the frigid cold.

He turned away from me to head out into the arctic tundra, but I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him back in. He almost slipped on the ice on my doorstep, but I held him steady.

I pulled him into me, so we were chest to chest. I was looking down into his eyes, and a look of lust flashed in them. I pulled his face into mine, and our mouths were together, or lips swimming and pressing against each other in a deep, sensual kiss.

I let him go with a warning: “You better fucking quit.”