I had never felt so loved and recognized, ever. I loved Sam’s family, I loved his friends, I loved being here in Aspen, escaping the pressures and stresses of being a student. I didn’t have to worry about my exam until grades came out at the end of the week. I didn’t have to worry about swim practice, though I knew that the meet right after the holidays would be a real challenge. I had to watch what I ate here. Since I wasn’t exercising, Linda’s delicious home cooked food was starting to give me a noticeable extra layer of fluff.

When I was here with Sam, I felt like this was the real, authentic me. I was taking a break from Instagram, always trying to get the likes and followers, working as a slave for the university in the hopes of keeping my scholarship to continue going there.

But I was almost done. Only one more semester and I’d have a degree. Then suddenly, it’s like the floodgates were opened and all the stresses of back home started piling into me. I had to start looking into internships and jobs and— or else I’d end up like my brother.

I shut the thought away. Now was the time to enjoy sharing Sam’s company, and I would not let my negative thoughts eat me alive.

We’d done all the traditional holiday family things—played a card game, made Christmas cookies, and ate more food than I could handle. This family loved to eat, and they loved to ski. We even went sledding at one point! But tonight was the night that would be the thing I was most looking forward to—a surprise from Sam.

I was practically giddy with excitement; he was being extremely secretive about it. When I begged him for a hint, all he gave me was “Bring a swimsuit.”

I was so grateful that I actually decided to bring my speedo from swim practice, just in case I felt like practicing. A swimsuit was something I would never think to take on a winter vacation otherwise.

Still, even when I got into the BMW next to my beautiful man, I was filled with worry about my statistics score. The grades would be released soon, and my scholarship depended on getting at least a C. Even though I’d been confident when I took the test, thinking back to some of the questions, now I wasn’t so sure. Worry had injected itself into my mind and insisted on leaking into all of my thoughts.

Sam must have sensed it, because he stroked my thigh with his index finger.

“You okay?” He asked, his eyes trained on the road in front of him. But I could see the crease in between his eyebrows, which always occurred when he was concerned.

He was worried. Someone was worried about me.

That filled my heart with love again. The shadow of fear ebbed away.

It was sunset by the time we had driven up into the mountains toward a resort. There were a lot of cars parked out front.

“Is this where we’re going?” I asked skeptically, looking at the fancy vacation lodge. I was hoping for a place a little more intimate.

“No, not quite.” He said with a smug smirk on his face.

I was filled with questions and tried to read his face, but it was damn near impossible.

“Sam, you will always be a mystery to me.” I said, shaking my head and smiling.

“Good.” He said, “That means you won’t get bored.”

I let that statement sink in and swirl around in my head a bit, letting it catch me in its current. I really couldn’t ever see myself getting bored with Sam. There were too many layers under the surface. I mean, I was with this guy, meeting his family and I still felt like I barely knew him at all. It didn’t seem fair that I’d only scratched the surface of him, when he could see right down to my core at a glance.

We went off onto a side road that wasn’t paved, turning off the pristine, perfect aspen road. The gravel crunched under the weight of the car as it was pressed into the earth.

After driving through a tunnel of snow-capped trees in the twilight, we came to a small building.

I looked over at Sam, raising my eyebrow. His face was frustratingly impassive, not giving anything away.

“Here.” He said, throwing the shifter into park and shutting off the car.

“Where are we?” I asked, mirroring his movements as we got out of the car.

“I told you; it’s a surprise!” He said, that smile I loved so much blooming on his face again.

The winter chill here was real; it was creeping down from the mountains and trying to make its way through my new coat. I huddled up against Sam. Even though this thick down coat, I could feel his warmth.

“Stand here for just a second,” He said, his voice full of mystery.

I stood by the driver’s side, waiting, as he popped the trunk and rummaged around. He pulled out a duffel bag that looked heavy.

“Whassat?” I asked, my teeth chattering.

“Surprise.” He grunted, threading his arm through mine.

Together, we walked through the cold, our breath forming translucent, ghostly white clouds in front of our faces, swirling and twirling together like our souls.

We got up to the small building, which looked pretty plain and unassuming from the outside. Sam opened the door for me and let me in first.

Inside was a charming little space with an old-fashioned fireplace in the corner, a comfy-looking couch to sit on, and it was lit with a deer antler chandelier. A friendly-looking old woman was behind the counter, sitting in a chair knitting.

“Welcome to the Secret Hot Springs,” She said in a crackly old voice, not even looking up from her knitting. “Do you have a reservation?” She asked.

Sam stepped up to the counter.

“Yes, I do.” He answered in a deep voice full of authority.

I watched him lean over the counter, watching all of the muscles flex in his back once he took his coat off.

“Oh!” She realized, “Well, let me take your things and show you the room.”

As Sam gave her his name and filled out some paperwork, I couldn’t contain the smile on my face. I loved saunas, but I’d never been in a hot spring. There was nothing that relaxed the muscles so thoroughly after a swimming workout than a nice hot bath. And now, here, I’d get to do it with Sam!

“Follow me!” The old woman said in her crackly voice, and she led us out to the patio of hot springs. It was a charming place, with stone steps leading downward into a valley. Lit hot springs glowed a light aqua on the sides of the mountain, like the earth was glittering with huge, aquamarine gemstones.

She led us to one that was fenced off from the path for privacy, the very last one.

“If you need anything, let me know!” She said good-naturedly, then began slowly climbing up the steps.

Sam opened the door and hit me with that million-dollar smile that made me go weak at the knees again.

“After you,” he said all gentleman-like.

I smirked at him, still unable to process that I had a man like this. What did I ever do to deserve him?

He carried the duffel bag in after us. The room was a big kidney-shaped hot tub pool, filled with the same magical-looking aqua-colored water. It was steaming, and even though the air was freezing, the tub looked like it was going strong.

“We need to hurry, or we’re going to miss it.” Sam said, looking up at the sky.

“What, miss what?” I asked, “What are you up to, Sam?” I cocked my head to the side a little and raised an eyebrow.

He looked me up and down, stopped in his tracks while he was unzipping the duffel bag, and bit his lip. Then suddenly he made two strides towards me, and his glorious, linebacker body was against mine.

“You, have to stop doing that, Mister White, or I’m never going to be able to do romantic things for you.”

He pressed his lips to mine, and again it felt like I was drinking some kind of sustenance for my soul. He pulled away after the divine kiss, and commanded, “Get dressed.”

I pulled my speedo out of the pocket of my coat, and headed into the little changing room with a curtain for privacy nearby.

It only took me a few seconds to strip down and tuck my hard cock into my speedo, but when I reemerged, Sam was sitting on the edge of the tub with his legs in the water, and a picnic spread of a charcuterie board next to him complete with meat, cheese, grapes, jam, crackers, and two champagne flutes filled to the brim.

But the best part was the way he looked at me. He was smiling, this beautiful man, shirtless in a hot tub, waiting for me to get in.

I’d never wanted anything more in my life.

“Come on!” He said, gesturing me to come in. “You must be freezing!”

I had completely forgotten about the cold for a second, lost in the fantasy come to life that was laid out before me.

“Quick quick!” He said as I clambered over to the other side of the tub, sitting next to him and dipping my legs into the water. The warm water soothed me.

“What’s the occasion for all this? You didn’t have to do this!” I said, blushing more than I ever had in my entire life.

“The occasion,” He said, lifting a champagne flute to me, “Is having you here with me. Thank you for spending Christmas with me; there’s no one else I’d rather spend it with.”

I felt the corners of my eyes prickle as I picked up my champagne flute too. “No, to you. To us.” I said as we tinged them together with a cheers.

I took a sip of the sweet liquid and it literally tasted like victory. Here, now, with Sam, this version of life that he lived, felt like I’d won the lottery.

But no, it was real. It was all real.

I sunk down into the tub, finding the seat on the side, letting the heat soak into my body and loosen up all my muscles. The familiar feel of the water swirling around my body was even more comforting to me.

Sam sunk in next to me, creating lots of ripples. I swished over to him, and he put his arm around me. I felt secure; I felt safe.

He picked up my champagne from the side and handed it to me, then plucked up his own.

“It’s about to start,” He whispered, looking up at the sky.

I cast my eyes up while taking another sip and saw a bright streak illuminate the sky. It was gone in a flash. At first I thought it was a bug or something, but then dozens more began to raze across the blackness. Dozens and dozens of streaks, slashing the smooth oblivion. Then those dozens turned into hundreds.

“Wow…” I said, watching the meteor shower rain down on the mountains. “I’ve never seen something like this.”

I felt the flesh on the side of Sam’s face stretch as he smiled.

“I’m glad I could show it to you.” He said, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

A few moments of silence and complete bliss passed while we were watching the meteor shower strike through the darkness. Then I thought of something and spoke.

“You want to know something funny?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“Before I met you, I thought you were a huge asshole.” I admitted.

He chuckled, “That article, huh?”

I cocked my head. “How did you know?”

He guffawed. “They grossly misquoted me in that. They wanted me to sound like someone well-traveled and important, to be like ‘look what kind of students we attract to the art school.’”

“…Damn.” I said. I could relate 100%.

“To be fair, before I met you I thought you were a total prick too.” He admitted with a chuckle.

“What!” I gasped, surprised. Then I thought about it for a moment. “…same reason?” I asked, thinking of the Instagram version of me.

“Your online presence, yeah.” He said. “It’s not like the real you at all.”

I know what you mean,” I said, casting my eyes back up to the heavens. “I don’t write any of the captions, or take the pictures, or choose them. That’s all the university’s marketing team.”

Sam let out a low whistle. “Wow.”

“What?” I asked, pulling at the thread of his thought.

He paused for a moment, trying to conjure up the right words. “You must feel like you can never be yourself. Not your true self, anyway.”

Then I felt the love bloom inside me again. I was validated. Finally, someone understood.

“More than you could ever know,” I admitted quietly. “But here with you, I feel whole. I feel like you see the real me. There’s been no one in my past, who looks at me – no, sees me the way you do, Sam. You have these eyes—these eyes that can cut through steel. And they can also cut through that,” I gestured to my phone up on the bench. “You have a gift, Sam. You can see the truth.”

There were a few seconds where my words ebbed away into silence, and I had to wonder if I’d upset him.

Then I heard a sniffle. When I looked up, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Tears were rolling down his face as this man who looked like a marble statue cast his eyes to the heavens.

“You… you understand.” He whispered, holding me tight.

I didn’t have the words to express the deep love I felt for him, right in that moment. But I knew that this memory would imprint me for my entire lifetime. I squeezed him tighter, then gave him another deep kiss. He returned it, as the sky was illuminated above us and the heavens gave us their blessings.

Our kiss turned passionate, going deeper and deeper as we matched our rhythms. I felt like I was completely in tune with him, mind, body, and soul.

He touched me and I felt my flesh burn and swim with desire. I loved his body up against mine; just his touch was enough to set my soul aflame. But when we were entangled like this, it was enough to make some kind of monster take over my body.

For Sam and I, love and desire were one and the same. I had never wanted and needed someone, and been perfectly fulfilled by someone like this in my entire life.

It was a drug, and I was addicted.