I didn't know that it was humanly possible to be so nervous. But I am. My palms are sweating and my legs are jumpy, I spooked at every sound on the way over here.

Carson and I have never been alone together. Okay, so maybe we have, but only so much as a second in my kitchen, or passing by each other in an empty hallway at school. Usually, I'm just the third wheel, or the odd girl out at the lunch table.

But tonight, he'd wanted it to be us. Just us. He wasn't shy or indirect, he'd simply asked me to meet him at the Horse Shack after midnight, with nothing but a canister of hot chocolate. He'd bring the rest.

I'd almost fainted, looking at his earnest eyes, the way his dark brown hair blew in the breeze outside of school.

I didn't care what people said. I was thirteen, and there was no way true love felt any different than what I felt for Carson Cole.

When he was around me, I felt sick to my stomach and pure joy all at the same time. He was funny, kind to everyone he knew and even strangers, and when I'd fallen down during dodgeball in gym class, he'd lifted me up and carried me to the nurse. The way I'd pressed my cheek to his chest, heard his heart thumping around in there ... I just knew he felt the same. He had to.

I'd devised a plan, one I knew had been used before. During the day, I'd crack open the French door on the bottom level of the house, the one that led out into the carport. Dad never checked it, and it would be done before everyone went to sleep. Then, I'd wait. Once my digital wristwatch struck twelve, I'd tiptoe down the stairs and slip out the French door, undetected since the alarm would already be disabled due to it being open.

My heart had been in my throat, it still was, at the thought of sneaking out. Especially to the Horse Shack. Especially to meet Carson.

In the dark, everything appeared a little more mysterious, a little more scary.

"Didn't know if you'd actually come." A familiar voice spoke from the shadows.

"I don't back down to a dare." I approached, seeing Carson leaning against the ramshackle house in the woods.

"Already knew that. But just you and I, it's never been just us." The way he said us made my blood heat up.

I didn't want to appear eager, ask him the question I was dying to. "Why here?"

The moon illuminated the old house, a ghost ship in the woods of Carova. Four stories high, with wood exterior and walls made of windows, it had been here for decades, long before we were born. Grandma used to tell me stories about the family who built it, how they'd left and the Trust for the wild horses drew a boundary, the house falling on the other side. Now it couldn't be lived in, it just stood here, empty and missing its owners. I'd only come here once, with Carson and some friends on Mischief Night two years ago. It had freaked me out so bad that nothing could calm me except Carson taking my hand in his own, lacing our fingers like a bond of security.

“Promise not to call me a sissy?” He dipped his head, peeking up at me from under his long eyelashes.

I could never call him anything, not when I couldn’t even take a breath without my stomach dropping to my shoes. “Promise.”

“I … I love watching the horses. They love this house, come here to graze all the time. They’re wild, you know.”

Carson still looked embarrassed. But my heart was a puddle of sentiment and adoration. “I think that’s awesome. Not stupid.”

Just then, the boy I’d spent my school hours daydreaming about got the strangest, most somber look on his face. I wasn’t exactly sure if he might be about to cry, or if Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out of the bushes and tell me that this whole thing was a prank.

So I about keeled over when he put his hands on the top of my arms, shut his eyes, and leaned in with his lips pursed. I was so caught off guard that I squeaked before he pressed his warm, wet lips to my own.

I’d never been kissed before, had never laid my mouth on top of a boys. Of course, I’d dreamed about it. Kicked my mattress in giddy anticipation thinking about possibly doing this with Carson Cole.

But now, it was actually happening. My heart beat so loud that I could hear the thumping in my ears. I didn’t know exactly what to do, so I followed Carson, moving my lips when he did. I never wanted it to stop, and yet I couldn’t breathe I was so on top of the world. His hands pulled me closer, until I was wrapped up in his larger form.

My crush, the one I’d harbored in my chest for years, began to bloom, unfolding like the petals of a rose into full-blown, body-shaking love. The puppy love I’d been infatuated with before, that idea of loving Carson … it didn’t even compare to the fireworks that exploded inside my head when he kissed me for the first time.