She knew she should stop him, but…the man did amazing things with his lips and tongue and don’t even get her started on how great his hands felt!

Penny knew she was in deep trouble and only sinking deeper. Spencer was becoming a bit of an addiction and that’s why she boldly suggested having a fling with him just so they would have an excuse to keep doing this.

The kissing.

The touching.

She melted against him.

The only difference between this time and the last time was that they weren’t in the rain and there wasn’t a reason to stop. She was in complete control of her senses right now and they were all screaming at her to take this out of the kitchen and at least into the living room.

And there were definitely some parts of her that were screaming for the bedroom.

“Spencer…” she said breathlessly against his lips and he instantly stilled.

His breathing was equally ragged as he rested his forehead against hers. “Sorry.”

Penny licked her lips and gave him a shy smile. “Don’t be. I…I was just thinking that maybe we could go…” To my bedroom… “into the living room and sit down.”

He immediately took her hand in his again and led her to the sofa. Damn. She was hoping he would have read her mind instead.

As soon as they were sitting down, she could tell he was going to say something, but she wasn’t ready to talk yet. She was still catching her breath from their kiss and she wanted to lose it all over again. Without a word, she reached up and cupped his cheek and brought his lips to hers again.

Oh yeah, she thought. This is so much better than standing in the kitchen. Or the rain. But still not as good as my bed.

They kissed until neither could breathe.

They stretched out until Penny was beneath him.

They touched everywhere their hands could reach.

And it wasn’t enough.

Wrapping her legs around Spencer’s hips, she arched up against him – silently pleading for more. More touching, more kissing, more…everything.

When his lips left hers, he kissed her cheek. He nipped at the shell of her ear and sighed her name.

“I think…” she panted, “I want…”

Lifting his head, Spencer studied her as he swallowed hard. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this.”

And she knew exactly what his next words were going to be…

“Then don’t,” she said breathlessly.

But he reared up and moved off of her until he was sitting at the far end of the sofa. “I really think we need to talk a little more and make sure we’re on the same page and…” He turned his head and looked at her. “I don’t want there to be any regrets.”

Regrets? He could think about regrets right now?

Slowly, Penny moved to sit up and took a minute to get her breathing back to normal. “Okay, um…”

“Here’s the thing,” he quickly jumped in. “Right now, we’re both a little on edge and immediate gratification would be awesome, believe me. But we’re not strangers, Penny, and as much as we’re sitting here saying that this is going to be a quick…you know…I don’t want you to look back and hate that you made a rash decision.”

“You think I’m making a rash decision?” she asked incredulously.

“What?! No! That’s not…I mean…” Then he let out a long breath. “Okay, yes. I think we’re both looking to make a rash decision.”

And while Penny knew that statement should have been like a bucket of ice water being thrown at her, it wasn’t. If anything, it made her want to be…reckless. Their time together was already going to be short, so why waste it talking about how they might feel afterwards? She already knew there were going to be regrets and there was no clear winning scenario here. If she jumped into bed with him, she was going to have regrets. If she didn’t give in and sent him home right now instead, she was going to have regrets. Shouldn’t they take advantage of what little time they had and use it to the fullest?

Sighing loudly, she said, “Wow.”

Beside her, Spencer’s shoulders sagged. “Yeah.”

They sat in awkward silence for several minutes before Penny thought of something to say. “As you mentioned, we’re not strangers. This isn’t our first rodeo, Spencer,” she said lightly, logically. “We’re both adults who know what we want. I think we both may feel a little regret when it’s time for you to leave and head back to Atlanta, but in the long run, we’ll see that this was exactly what we needed to do and eventually be able to look back with no regrets.”

Then she inched toward him ever-so-slightly.

“I don’t know if I agree with that,” he said gruffly, staring at his clasped hands.

She moved a little bit more.

“Spencer, we have tried this so many times that we can’t argue the end result. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with admitting we’re physically attracted to each other, just like there’s nothing wrong with acting on that attraction.”

He turned and looked at her and she wasn’t sure if she saw gratitude or sadness in his eyes.

She opted for gratitude and moved even closer, noting how his eyes widened a bit.

“Do you want me?” she asked.

His immediate response was a small laugh. “You’re joking, right?”

Now she was sitting practically hip to hip with him. “We keep starting and stopping,” she said, her voice a little soft and breathy. “I’d like for us to start and…keep going.” Leaning in close, Penny boldly nipped at his earlobe before adding. “Please, Spencer.”

“Where’s the bedroom?” he growled, low and deep and oh-so-sexily in her ear.

“Upstairs,” she said and then gasped as he stood and quickly pulled her to her feet. “Spencer, I…”

She never got to finish because he scooped her up into his arms and kissed her again.

And then she forgot what she was going to say because he was on the move and she was a little in awe of literally being swept off her feet. When his lips left hers so he could focus on moving up the stairs, Penny’s mouth went to work on licking and tasting any of his skin she could reach – his throat, his jaw – and simply savoring it.

She didn’t realize they were even in her bedroom until Spencer lowered her to the bed. He didn’t follow her down right away. Instead he was watching her intently. Penny was about to question it when he spoke.

“You realize what’s different about this, don’t you?” he asked softly.

She shook her head.

Putting one knee on the bed as he said, “This is the first time in all our history together that I’m going to get to make love to you all night.”

Oh my…

And he was right. When they dated as teens, there had been no spending the night together and the last time they had “slept” together, it had been in the bathroom of his parents’ pool house.

Hot as hell, yes. But she knew that this…what they were about to do…was going to be a million times better.

He peeled his shirt up and over his head before he leaned down and kissed her. This time it was slow, sweet and seductive.

Perfect.

Penny slowly wound her arms around his shoulders and guided him down to her. When Spencer was stretched out over her, his weight on her was like a delicious brand of foreplay all on its own. She felt like everything was right in her world, like she had been waiting forever for this – this one moment with him.

And somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that was true.

And then immediately pushed that thought aside because it was too deep and too distracting for her to think about.

He lifted his head again. “Tell me I can stay the night,” he whispered.

Her smile was just a little shy. “You can stay the night.”

Kissing the tip of her nose, he said, “Tell me I can stay the weekend.”

There was no hesitation. “You can stay the weekend.”

Pulling back a bit, he stared into her eyes before he reached up and took off his glasses. As she watched him, she knew she’d give him whatever he asked for. If he asked to stay forever, she’d readily agree.

It was foolish – to fall again so hard and so fast – but there were things you couldn’t change, couldn’t fight. And this was one of them. From the time she was six years old she knew she belonged to Spencer Buchanan. And deep down, Penny knew that when the weekend was over and he went back to his life in Atlanta, there would be no recovering from the heartbreak.

And still she knew that she wouldn’t change what was happening right now for anything.

He was worth it all – the love and the heartache.

* * *

To say that life was perfect would be an understatement.

Saying it in reference to the last twenty-four hours would really be an understatement.

With a sigh, Penny snuggled closer to Spencer as their skin cooled and their breathing slowed down.

Yeah. It had been an amazing night.

And day.

And evening.

Penny’s stomach growled and behind her, Spencer chuckled. “I really wish more places around here delivered,” he said as he nuzzled her neck.

“You and me both. We finished the last of the Chinese food earlier and other than some yogurt and tortilla chips, I don’t have much to offer.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said gruffly. “You have everything.”

And damn if things like that didn’t make her heart skip a beat.

He’d been saying them ever since they came up to the bedroom last night and with every word, every kiss, every touch, Penny fell back in love with him a little more. She didn’t even think it were possible and yet…here they were.

It was just supposed to be about sex – a fling, a chance to get each other out of their systems. But she had seriously miscalculated just how strong her feelings were for him. And as Spencer continued to kiss and caress her, and as she tried chanting in her head that it was just sex, she knew she was nothing but a liar.

“How about we shower and go grab something to eat?” he suggested.

“You mean go out? Leave here?” she asked as she shook her head. “Nope. Can’t do it. I want to stay right here.”

He laughed again. “Believe me, I hate the thought of leaving here more than you know, but…I think we can both agree that we need food.”

And right on cue, both of their stomachs growled.

Laughing, they rose from the bed and when Spencer stretched, she couldn’t help but stare. His body was lean and perfectly sculpted, and it distracted her just enough that all thoughts of food were quickly forgotten.

“Oh no you don’t,” Spencer said when she took a step toward him. “We are going to be responsible adults and go eat dinner.”

She pouted. “Fine. But if I’m too tired to do anything else but come back and go to sleep, you have no one to blame but yourself.”

And then she was in his arms and he was kissing her soundly. When he lifted his head, he smiled down at her. “And if I get to hold you all night while you sleep, it will still be worth it.”

Dammit.

How did he do it? How did he always know exactly what to say to make her go all boneless?

“So…a shower, huh?” she asked.

He nodded. “You go first because if we go in there together we aren’t leaving the house and we’ll starve to death.”

“There’s always the yogurt…”

Laughing, he shook his head. “Can’t stand the stuff.”

“I think I might have some salsa to go with the tortilla chips. Maybe some guacamole…”

“Tempting, but I’m still taking you out,” he said and gave her a playful shove toward the bathroom. “Go.”

This time she didn’t protest because she really was hungry and the thought of a shower was equally appealing. And when she went to close the bathroom door, she was happy to see that Spencer had watched her the entire time.

* * *

They were eating at a small Italian place downtown an hour later and as much as he hated taking time away from having Penny alone and in his arms, Spencer knew this was good too.

Making love to her had been even better than he remembered and better than it had ever been with anyone else. Last night they had talked about their first time together which had – ironically – been the first time for them both. They had perfected things over time and yet he still felt that same wonder as he had the first time he made love to her. They were so in sync with each other and yet for all their years apart, it felt brand new and familiar at the same time.

“Okay, I’m sorry I fought coming out to eat because this is amazing,” Penny said from beside him. She had ordered eggplant rollatini with spaghetti and the portion was huge; the smile on her face showed just how much she was enjoying it. “There may or may not be leftovers. I make no promises.” Looking around the room, she said, “Maybe we should order an extra dish or two to go for tomorrow.”

He laughed and took a bite of his fettuccine alfredo. He knew exactly what she meant because he was feeling a little doubtful that there’d be anything left of his food to take home.

“I was thinking we’d stop at the grocery store on the way home and get some things and maybe swing by my parents’ place so I can get a change of clothes,” he said. “What do you think?”

“The grocery store? Great. But stopping to see your folks…?”

“They would love to see you,” he said. “You know they’ve always liked you.”

She shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s just…I don’t know…it feels weird that we’re essentially going to walk in there and be like ‘Oh, hey! Hi! Don’t mind us. We’re just here to grab some clean clothes for our dirty weekend!’” She stopped and shuddered. “I’m not comfortable doing that.”

He studied her for a moment and knew there was maybe more to this than what she was saying.

“It’s not like we’re going to go in there and do it on the dining room table,” he joked, hoping to lighten the mood. “They already know I wasn’t home last night so…”

She gave him a mildly annoyed look. “Aren’t we a little bit old to be talking about checking in with our parents?”

Okay, this was clearly a sore spot for her and it wasn’t worth upsetting her to keep at it.

“How about I just throw my clothes in the laundry tonight? Of course, that means I won’t have anything to wear so…”

That seemed to do the trick.

“I think that’s brilliant because I have plans to sleep in tomorrow and be very lazy the rest of the day,” she teased. “I might go to my Zumba class on Monday and I will have to go to work, but only for a couple of hours.”

“Why only a couple?”

“We’re closed on Mondays, but Hailey holds our weekly staff meetings then so we’re all up to date on what’s going on with our current brides and bridal parties. Plus we have all of the owners of the other shops in the complex come in and brainstorm about upcoming events and promotions. My class is at seven and then I need to be to Enchanted by ten, but I should be done by noon, maybe one.” She paused and took a sip of her wine and looked over at him. “What about you? Do you know what day you’re heading back home?”

He’d confessed about how he should’ve gone back by now and how he hadn’t made any specific plans for his return.

“I know I need to be back by the end of the week, but…I’m going to try to get as much done as I can while I’m here so I’m not totally behind. I only have my laptop with me so I’m at a bit of a disadvantage and can’t get everything done that I need to.”

She reached across the table and took one of his hands in hers. “Spencer, I don’t want you missing work because of me. I knew going into this that you weren’t staying. You have a job and a life back in Atlanta, just like I have one here. So if you need to get back, it’s okay.”

And his heart kicked hard in his chest. “Are you…do you want me to leave?”

She sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just want you to know that I understand that you have responsibilities. Neither of us planned on this so…”

He squeezed her hand tightly when she tried to look away. “Penny…look at me…”

She did but there was a sadness in her eyes that wasn’t there a minute ago.

“I know we didn’t plan on this and I have no idea what this even is, but I know what I want it to be.”

Okay, he hadn’t meant to go there just yet, but now that it was out there…

“I know last night we said this was about getting each other out of our systems, but…that’s not working,” he said honestly. “All we’ve accomplished in the last twenty-four hours is proving that there is way more here to explore and that I want you more now than I ever have.”

He heard her soft gasp and wasn’t sure if it was a good one or a bad one.

Please let it be good, he thought.

“I feel the same way,” she said quietly, “but…that’s always been the case for me, Spencer. My feelings for you were never in doubt. It’s always been your feelings toward me as a person that…”

“I know, I know,” he interrupted, mainly because he hated how much of an asshole he’d been. “It was never really about you.”

Penny pulled her hand from his and looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

Raking a hand through his hair, he leaned back in his chair. “You were always so…so beautiful and confident and as much as I admired those things in you, they…well…they intimidated the hell out of me. When we first started dating, you have no idea how many people made snide comments to me about why a girl like you would want to date a geek like me.”

“Seriously?”

He nodded.

“But…why would that bother you? There was nothing wrong with you!” she argued. “You were this super smart guy who had everything going for him!”

“No, I didn’t. Do you know how hard I had to study? How much my parents forced me to study? Getting good grades wasn’t an option; it was mandatory. Granted, I’m thankful for it now, but at the time it was a lot of pressure on me. I got grounded every time I got a grade lower than a B.”

“I never knew. They weren’t like that with Eva…”

He shook his head. “They’re very old-fashioned – they didn’t think it was as important for her to have the good grades and the options that I did. And Eva was involved in so many other extracurricular activities that kept them focused – dance, piano…I swear there were so many damn recitals that it bordered on ridiculous. Either way, it was totally backwards and wrong but…there it is.”

“So all the times you told me…or broke up with me…?”

“It was me. Not you.”

At the shocked look on her face, he realized just what he’d admitted.

“Penny…I…”

“Do you have any idea how much your words messed with me? My self-esteem?” she hissed, leaning in close so no one would hear. “I questioned everything about myself because you made me think there was something wrong with me!” Leaning back in her seat, she glared at him. “I cannot even believe this…that you could be so cruel.”

“I’m sorry!” he said quickly. “I didn’t know…I didn’t think…”

“Really? A smart guy like you didn’t think that his words would have some kind of effect on someone? Especially negative words?” Her voice was getting louder and now people were starting to stare, but he’d be damned if he would say anything right now that would sound like a criticism.

“I was a kid, Penny,” he said in quieter tones. “I was stupid and I wasn’t thinking of anything except myself! Is that what you want to hear? Is that going to change anything?” Then he paused. “If I could, I would go back and change it all, change everything – every damn time I let you go – but I can’t. I can only sit here and apologize to you and hope that you’ll forgive me.”

Their waitress came by and asked if they needed anything and Penny asked for a takeout box and the check.

Spencer did not take that as a good sign.

So they boxed up their dinners.

They didn’t order anything to go.

And he paid the check.

They drove back to her place in silence – not stopping for groceries – and he had no idea what to expect once they got there.

“I don’t think you should come in,” she said when they were in her driveway.

For most of his life, Spencer didn’t stand up for himself. He’d basically admitted to that over dinner. But this time, he was.

“That’s not acceptable to me,” he said reasonably.

“Excuse me?” she asked slowly as her gaze turned to his.

“You heard me. I think we need to talk this out. This is important and we need to talk it out like adults rather than two kids who just walk away.”

Wrong. Thing. To. Say.

If anything, he could see the rage building in her as she stared at him incredulously.

“That is rich coming from you,” she snapped.

And he owned it. “I realize that and I’m trying to rectify it. It would be easy to just walk away and then you could keep your previous opinion of me and I could leave and continue to beat up on myself, but to what end? I’m tired of this! I’m tired of all the walking away and denying what I want!”

“You’re the only one who keeps you from having what you want, Spencer!” she cried. “I never wanted to walk away! I never wanted you to walk away!”

He was poised to argue with her some more, but not here. Not in the car. Not when there was so much hinging on what came next. “Can we please go inside and talk about this? Please?”

And for a moment, he thought she was going to deny him – them – but she gave him a curt nod and climbed from the car.

One hurdle crossed.

Who knew how many more were to come?

* * *

It was amazing how suddenly calm she felt once they were back inside her condo. At the restaurant? That was a completely different story. All of the years of self-doubt were for nothing. Nothing! That was simply him projecting onto her, and Penny wasn’t sure if she could just let that go.

In the end, it had pushed her to work harder and to be a better person but…there wasn’t anything wrong with her before! And then she thought about all of the time they had missed out on as a couple because of this and it made her sad.

“Penny, talk to me,” he said softly from a few feet away. “Please.”

Where did she even begin?

She didn’t want to fight. Not really. And it wouldn’t accomplish anything. Like he had said earlier, it wouldn’t change the past or where they were right now. So what was she supposed to do? Say?

“You hurt me, Spencer,” she finally said and felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She was in his arms before she could blink. They’d never done this. He’d never seen the devastation he caused or seen her cry. And maybe this was what had to happen.

Without a word, he picked her up and carried her to the sofa. When he sat down, he kept her cradled in his arms and simply let her cry. He didn’t offer empty words or platitudes; he just let her feel what she was feeling.

She cried because of the words he had spoken to her back then.

She cried for all of the time they had lost together because of misplaced feelings.

But most of all, she cried because she had no idea if they were really meant to be together right now.

Or ever.

When Penny finally lifted her head, she had no idea how much time had passed. She was emotionally wrung out and even though Spencer hadn’t shed a tear, the look of devastation on his face told her he felt the same way.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice low and gruff. “I can never make that up to you. Ever. The things I said and did were…they were awful, and I hurt you. And I never wanted to hurt you. Ever. You don’t deserve that.”

She let out a long breath and contemplated her next words. “How do I know it’s not going to happen again? How can I possibly trust that you’re not going to feel pressured over something and take it out on me or our relationship?”

He went to answer but she quickly interrupted.

“That’s why this needs to just stay as this – the weekend. I’ve come too far and I’m in a really good place in my life and I can’t take that risk that you’re going to undo all that I’ve done to build myself up. I just can’t.”

And then she saw them.

The tears.

And they were her undoing.

Leaning forward, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him – pouring everything she had and everything she felt into it – and was relieved when he not only responded, but took over.

She needed this. It was wrong and the timing sucked but…if all she was getting was the weekend, then she wanted every second of it spent like this – wrapped up in each other, letting the past stay in the past and knowing that there was no future.

The present was going to have to be enough.

Every part of her was pressed against him and she did her best to keep it that way – arching, rubbing, wrapping. Her hands raked up into his hair right after she took his glasses off his face and flung them onto the coffee table. Spencer’s arms were like a vice around her and his own hands seemed to be everywhere – on her back, anchored into her hair, grabbing her ass…

And it still wasn’t enough.

Penny crawled off of his lap and maneuvered them until they were lying down with Spencer on top of her. She needed to feel him – all of him – to keep her grounded in the moment. There would never come a time when she wouldn’t remember what he felt like stretched out over her – the feel of his muscles, the heat of his skin and how hard he was all over.

They kissed hungrily and desperately as clothes slipped away and they were coming together like they never had before. It verged on violent and even in their most frantic of moments in the past, it wasn’t like this. It was never like this. This was the kind of act that was meant to make a memory – an impact.

She clawed at his back even as he bit and growled and left his own marks on her pale skin. Madness and heat. Cries of love and pain. It all mixed together and seemed to go on forever.

But eventually heartbeats calmed and skin cooled.

And in the dim light of the living room, there wasn’t anything either of them could say.

How were you supposed to say goodbye to the other half of your heart?

* * *

“Good morning! I’m Julianne and this is Zumba! Do we have any first-timers here today?” Julianne asked as she began her spiel. Several people raised their hands. “Awesome! I am so glad you decided to join us today! This is a cardio dance class but don’t worry if you don’t have any dance experience - you don’t need any. And don’t worry if you don’t pick up the steps right away because we’ve all been there!”

It was seven o’clock on Monday morning and Penny was at the gym for Zumba. Not that she wanted to be, but it was the perfect escape and right now that was something she desperately needed.

Spencer had left an hour ago. There was no talk of staying in touch or anything regarding their future. They had simply said goodbye. Part of her expected more of him – like that he wasn’t willing to accept that what they had was over. That was what he led her to believe while they were at dinner Saturday night. But after she had said her piece, it was as if he had given up.

And she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or saddened by that.

After their romp on the sofa, they had gone to the bedroom where he simply held her all night long. There was no seduction; they’d silently agreed just to sleep. Sunday morning, Spencer had gotten up and gone out to get her groceries and pick up a change of clothes for himself before coming back. It seemed odd that he hadn’t just left – that they hadn’t just said goodbye right then and there – but clearly they were both gluttons for punishment because they spent all day Sunday watching movies and being lazy and then made love again all Sunday night.

All while acting like polite strangers.

It was maddening.

So right now, she needed this Zumba class and as the music picked up, she was more than happy to give it her all. And when it was over, she’d shower and get changed and go to her meeting at Enchanted. Then, even though it wasn’t on the agenda, she was going to be bold and put forth her business plan for her glam squad.

And when all of that was through, she’d go home and kick, scream and cry because for a brief moment this weekend, she thought she could have it all.