Chapter 1

Krista Nelson wanted to pop the Barbie’s head right off her shoulders. She was blond, unlike Krista. Tall, unlike Krista. And she was Noah Sawyer’s date.

Unlike Krista.

Krista swallowed and waved a hand at the two sitting across from her. “Of course it’s okay that you brought a friend.” Her smile was so large and fake that she felt like her face might crumble onto the table where they were seated. It was fine. She and Noah had dinner every Wednesday night, just the two of them. Until tonight. But it was fine.

Krista narrowed her eyes on the Barbie. Amber was her real name, she thought she remembered Noah saying. And she was probably a nice person under her thick shell of perfection.

“So how long have you two known each other?” Barbie asked.

Noah answered the question. “Kris lived in the house across from me and my brothers growing up.”

“That’s cool,” his date said.

“My parents moved a few miles away during my senior year of high school,” Krista said, “but we never lost touch.”

Noah grinned, those boyish dimples of his poking deep craters in his tanned cheeks. “She just can’t stay away from me.”

Krista shook her head on a smile. “Because you’re so irresistible.”

Noah glanced over at his date. “Don’t worry. It’s not like that between us,” he told her. “Kris has always been just one of the guys.”

Pain seared through Krista’s heart. “You know I hate when you use that expression. I’m a woman.” In case he hadn’t noticed.

“What I meant to say,” he amended, “is that we’ve always been best friends. Nothing more.” He swung an easy arm around Barbie, hooking her opposite shoulder and pulling her closer.

“Wow, that’s really great,” Barbie said, turning and meeting his eyes. She and Noah were so close their lips were practically touching.

And Krista suddenly felt a little nauseous. There was no way she could endure seeing Noah with his date for another hour. Her heart might fracture into a million little pieces. Seeing no other choice, she grabbed her phone as if it had alerted her. Noah and his date were so absorbed in each other, they wouldn’t know that it hadn’t. “Oh,” Krista said, glancing at the screensaver of a beach somewhere. A place that she’d definitely rather be right now instead of here, playing third wheel to her lifelong best friend and his date. “I’m getting a phone call, you two. Please excuse me.” She had to admit, this was pretty lame.

“Sure,” Barbie said.

Shooting up from the table, Krista turned her back and let her smile drop. Once she was beyond the normal Wednesday Wings crowd, she veered into the bathroom and whipped out her cellphone to text her brother, Joey. He’d once worked on the fishing boat with her father, but after her dad had retired, Joey decided to take a break from the family tradition. Right now he was a cab driver in Blushing Bay and her personal chauffeur when she came to Castaways, the local bar that sat on the waterfront.

SOS! she typed. She needed rescuing almost as badly as she needed another stiff drink. And another man to occupy her thoughts and the space in her heart that Noah kept. The space he’d always kept since they were little kids running along the riverbanks.

You okay?

Yes, she typed back. Even if that was only partially true.

On my way.

Krista blew out a breath and walked over to the mirror. She wasn’t half bad in the looks department, in her humble opinion. She had black shoulder-length hair that carried a natural wave that gave it a little body. People always said she had her mother’s eyes, with varying shades of pale to dark blue. She certainly wasn’t a Barbie, though, which seemed to be all that Noah ever dated. Every few weeks, a new Barbie with a different hair color or shade of skin. They all had curves, were all beautiful, and none of them were her.

The bathroom door opened and Noah’s date breezed in. Krista’s smile snapped back into place, like a brand-new rubber band. “Hi!” she said, a little too peppy.

Barbie smiled back with her perfect pearly whites.

Krista couldn’t help it. She hated her.

“Your friend is so cute, isn’t he?” Barbie said, pulling a lipstick from her purse and standing in front of the mirror beside Krista. She ran it over full, kissable lips. Noah would probably be all over that later tonight.

“Um, yeah. I guess. I don’t really pay attention,” Krista said. Which was a flat-out lie.

Barbie laughed as she tossed her lipstick back in her purse and fluffed her platinum hair in the mirror. “Right. One of the guys. A woman would have to be dead not to notice, though. And he’s so sweet. And funny, too.”

Krista swallowed painfully. Then, hallelujah, her phone vibrated in her hand.

I’m here, Joey texted. Meter’s running.

Okay, she could hold herself together for a few more minutes until she was back at the townhouse she shared with her brother. She faked a frown at Barbie. “I’m so sorry, but something has come up and I need to go. Do you mind telling Noah for me?”

Barbie looked genuinely disappointed as the corners of her mouth pulled down. “Aww, that’s a shame. I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks.” Krista pushed through the bathroom door, weaved through the crowd, and headed straight toward the exit. She could tell Noah herself, but he’d ask questions. He’d want to know what had come up. Why did she need to leave? What was the real problem? Because he could always see right through her. The only thing he couldn’t seem to see was how she felt about him, and that was for the best.

The cool fall air hit Krista as she exited Castaways. Her shoes crunched as she cut across the lot sprinkled with oyster shells instead of gravel, giving the place seaside charm. She whipped open the door and plopped into the front passenger seat of Joey’s cab, then blew out the breath she’d been holding until she’d escaped. “Let’s get out of here.”

“First you have to explain yourself,” Joey said. “Is there someone in there whose ass I need to kick?”

Krista smiled at her large, overbearing brute of a brother. “Yes. A blond Barbie doll’s.”

His wide shoulders lowered a notch. “If it was a dude, you know I’d have your back.”

“I know, and it’s one of the many reasons I love you. Now let’s go.” Before Noah headed outside. Before she lost her dinner and the beers she’d consumed a little too fast in the last hour.

The cab started moving and Krista melted back into the passenger seat. She closed her eyes, suddenly drained. She was twenty-eight years old. Maybe she was getting too old to be going out and having beers on a work night anyway. Maybe she should start spending more nights in, reading books, watching the Hallmark Channel, and going to sleep at a reasonable hour.

“You coming in?” Krista asked as Joey pulled in front of their brick townhome ten minutes later.

“No. I’m going to take a few more calls from paying customers. Emphasis on paying.” He winked.

Krista knew he was joking. He’d always been the one to insist on driving her around at night to keep her safe, even if she couldn’t imagine a safer place than Blushing Bay, North Carolina. The small, cozy town centered around a major fishing port off the coast of the Atlantic Ocean. It was full of a lot of things, primarily fisherfolk, but not hardened criminals. “Thanks again. I owe you big,” she told him as she climbed out, fumbled with her house keys, and headed inside. Then she poured herself a glass of water to offset the beer and tucked herself into bed—alone.

“It’s fine.” Krista shrugged the next morning over coffee and muffins with her good friend Grace Donner. They were at one of the best bakeries in town, the Blushing Bay Café. It rested snugly between the two marinas on the waterfront and catered to the local fishermen and fisherwomen, including Noah’s family, who Grace worked for. “I mean, Noah needs to find himself a good woman who’ll make him settle down. That man has undiagnosed attention deficit disorder, I swear. I’m a pediatric nurse, I’d know.”

Grace laughed and glanced at her watch. “Ten ’til eight. I have to get to the office.”

Krista usually envied the fact that Grace got to go to the Sawyer Seafood Company and see Noah every day, but not today. Today, Krista was glad she didn’t have to face him.

Krista stood as well. “Me, too.” She had several patients on the peds floor right now that she was eager to get back to. Leaving them in their beds while she went home to hers didn’t mean they’d left her mind. The nurse in her always wished she could check on them in the middle of the night, just to ensure they were comfortable. “I’ll see you at Castaways tonight for drinks?”

“Sure thing,” Grace said, waving.

Krista drove a few miles to the Blushing Bay Memorial Hospital and parked out front. In her rearview mirror she saw Dr. Chandler Dale pull in across from her. Grabbing her stuff, she hurried toward the entrance. She’d didn’t feel like making small talk with the young cardiologist this morning. He’d hinted at going out a time or two in the past and, while he was good-looking and seemed nice enough, she wasn’t interested.

She pushed into the elevator and was relieved when the doors closed with her in it alone. Two floors later, she exited on the pediatric-unit floor. Karen Brim, the head pediatric nurse, waved at Krista as she headed to the nurse’s station to put her things down. Then she logged in at a computer and started scanning the patient data from last night. Afterward she would check with the nurse on the prior shift to make sure everything had gone smoothly.

Please let things have gone smoothly.

The times Krista arrived and met the hollow eyes of the prior shift’s nurse were the worst. Those were the times where things hadn’t gone smoothly the night before. Krista swallowed as she pulled up the data for seven-year-old Adam Reese. He’d been admitted the day before. Her eyes skimmed the on-screen text looking for keywords.

Stable.

Resting well.

Comfortable.

“Hey.” Olivia, the nightshift nurse, walked up behind Krista. Her eyes were bright and shiny, with a smudge of dark circles underneath. Tired, but nothing more.

Krista exhaled. “Hey. Everything go okay last night?”

Olivia nodded. She was a younger nurse who’d been at Blushing Bay Memorial for maybe a year. Most of the nurses on the pediatric floor were young or similar in age to Krista, except for Karen, the head nurse. Peds nurses had a high rate of burnout. At least here. It wasn’t an easy job, but in Krista’s experience, it was a rewarding one. She loved helping kids.

“They’re all clean, dry, well rested, and waiting eagerly on breakfast,” Olivia told her. “Adam was asking for you.”

Krista lifted both brows. “Me?”

“He says you’re supposed to teach him how to play Uno today.”

Krista laughed. “That was mine and Joey’s favorite card game growing up. I am an Uno master. I told him I’d play after my shift, though.” Because when she was on shift, there was barely any time to breathe, much less eat or use the bathroom.

Olivia yawned while pulling her stethoscope from around her neck. “I’m going home to bed now. See you on the other side. Good luck.”

Krista nodded. “Sleep well.” She reached for her own stethoscope tucked inside the nurse’s station and draped it around her neck. Her hand reached into her pocket and fingered the stack of cards she’d brought from home. She and Joey still enjoyed a good game every now and then. She’d do her rounds first, make sure all of her patients’ needs were met, then she’d circle back and say hello to Adam, the sweet little seven-year-old with a missing front tooth and orange freckles dusting the bridge of his nose. Her boss faulted Krista for getting too close to the kids she worked with, but in Krista’s mind that was part of the job, too. There was no keeping your distance from a child who was scared. She understood how it felt to be scared and alone better than most. She’d been ten when she’d spent several months on this very floor, in this very hospital. She hadn’t just gotten a new kidney that year, she’d decided what she wanted to do when she grew up and she’d met the woman who would one day become her boss. Karen was a couple months from retirement now. Her years in the profession had taught her not to make friends with the patients. It was, as Karen put it, naïve.

Krista wasn’t being naïve in her work life, though. Only in her personal life, and she knew it. She lifted her cellphone from the pocket of her plum-colored scrubs that featured kittens and eyed a text from Noah.

Where did you go last night? No goodbyes?

She dropped the phone back into the depths of her pocket, unwilling to shrug off her feelings right now. She was tired of shrugging off her feelings. Tired of being in love with a man who viewed her as just one of the guys.

Just plain tired.

Noah Sawyer loved the wind whipping against his skin. It was the best feeling in the world. Better than being five beers into a baseball game, better than sex—not that he’d had that in a few months. Purely by choice. His date last night had seemed interested, but he’d dropped her home with little more than a wink and a “Have a good night.” The disappointment on her face had been as thick as her makeup. He was tired of dating those kinds of women, though. Beautiful, sure, but most of his dates couldn’t hold a conversation past the first ten minutes. Or they could, but he wasn’t interested in what they had to say. That’s why he’d brought Amber to Wednesday Wings last night. He’d thought it would be a safe way to test the waters with his date. Except Krista had promptly bailed and Amber had proved as uninteresting as all the rest.

Maybe he should just take a break from dating for a while.

Killing the fishing boat’s engine, he walked on deck and lowered the anchor into the deep waters of the Atlantic Ocean. The October air was crisp, chilling the windburn he’d just enjoyed as he’d bumped and zipped along. His newest co-captain hopped up on one of the seats lining the front deck and let out a commanding bark. The chocolate Lab pup was yet another example of his lack of impulse control. The houseboat where he lived wasn’t really big enough for a pet, especially one that promised to grow to over a hundred pounds, but, unlike with Amber, he hadn’t been able to resist those brown take-me-home eyes when he’d seen Beauty at a rescue event outside the town’s grocery store a couple weeks back. Along with a cart full of groceries, he’d taken home a bag of puppy food and an energetic pup. He was tired of living alone and, while a dog was definitely a commitment, it didn’t scare him the way living with a roommate or significant other did.

Beauty thumped her tail on the boat’s floor and barked again.

“Shush. You’ll scare away the fish.” His voice dropped to a tone he would use on an actual human child. “Co-captains who scare the fish walk the plank,” he threatened.

Beauty leaped up and propped the pads of her front paws on his thigh, eyes sparkling with excitement. That was something Noah’s temporary crew this past summer had lacked. None of them had been thrilled by the catch. So here he was, fishing with just a puppy who didn’t lack for enthusiasm but who might scare off all the fish in a fifty-mile radius. He’d likely have to stick to a smaller catch until he could hire on another crew member or two. Just thinking of that exhausted him. He was tired of training guys who didn’t love being out here. Guys who were just looking for their next paycheck. Noah wanted someone who knew what they were doing and who could pull in a decent day’s catch.

Gathering some shrimp bait and a bottled water, he settled in for a long day. Long fishing days allowed him time to think. His first thought: maybe Krista was miffed at him last night for bringing a date to Wednesday Wings. He’d never done that before and he hadn’t given her any warning. He knew from experience that Krista didn’t like to share when it came to him. There were times when her own brother had tried to be a third wheel on their escapades, and Krista had promptly nipped that in the bud. It was cute, really. She was cute. But, like he’d told Amber last night, he and Krista didn’t have that kind of relationship.

Noah baited the line and dropped it into the water. He glanced at his phone again. She wasn’t responding to his texts this morning, but her job as a pediatric nurse was a busy one. That didn’t explain why she hadn’t texted him back once he’d returned home from Castaways last night, though. When Krista was upset she used the word “fine” a lot and her easygoing smile became tight and brittle—a lot like the one she’d sported on the way to the ladies’ room just before ditching him and Amber.

Crap.

She was definitely pissed. He guessed he’d need to find a way to make it up to her. Tonight was Thirsty Thursday, which meant Krista would be going out with Abby and Grace for drinks. He wasn’t above crashing their girls’ night. Maybe he could show up at Castaways, sweep Krista away, and twirl her around the dance floor until she forgave him. Krista never stayed mad for long and he knew exactly which buttons to push to get back in her good graces.

Yeah, that’s exactly what I’ll do.

A smile lined his lips. Then his line gave a sharp tug in the water. Noah’s heart jumped and Beauty started barking excitedly. “Shush,” he told her again, reeling in his line. This was his first catch of the day, but hopefully it was nowhere near his last—if he could get Beauty to chill out. Without a proper crew, he needed to work longer and harder so that he didn’t single-handedly tank his family’s seafood company. He wasn’t fooled. A lot of folks were expecting him to fail at his new role of captain. He was the youngest of the Sawyer brothers and the one who typically screwed things up, starting on the day he was born when his mother had died in childbirth. Noah was determined to succeed at this, though. He’d never really planned out a future for himself, but being a boat captain felt right.

He pulled a nice-sized red drum onto the dock and set to unhooking her.

The only thing that didn’t feel right in his current life was the fact that Krista was ignoring him. She was his best friend, his constant, and without her everything felt wrong.

“I’m skipping Thirsty Thursday tonight,” Krista said, holding her cellphone to her ear and plopping on her couch after a long shift at the hospital.

“Noooooo,” Grace whined on the other end of the line. “I sit behind a desk from eight to four-thirty. I’ve been looking forward to drinks and dancing all day.”

“You can still go. Joey will pick you up and DD for you and Abby.”

“It wouldn’t be the same without you,” Grace said. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you going?”

Krista stared up at the ceiling fan. It wasn’t hot, but she’d flipped it on so that she could watch it spin. She focused on the rotating blades. “It was a rough day at work,” she finally said, her eyes immediately burning. She wished she could take her boss’s advice and leave her patients tucked in their stiff, white hospital beds and out of mind when she came home, but she couldn’t. “One of my patients returned today with a pretty serious infection.” That’s all the information that Krista could spare. Patient confidentiality rules made Krista carry the burden of what was going on with her patients alone.

“I’m sorry,” Grace said softly. “But I think you might feel better if you came to Castaways with us. It’ll take your mind off things.”

“Not tonight. But I’ll meet you for coffee and muffins at the BB Café before work tomorrow.”

The Blushing Bay Café was her favorite guilty habit.

“All right. If you’re sure.”

“I am. See you tomorrow.” Krista set her phone aside and continued to stare at the ceiling fan. It wasn’t just her patients that she was upset about tonight. She was still bothered about Noah bringing a date to Wednesday Wings.

She blew out a breath and pressed her palms into her eyes. A moment later, the door to her townhouse opened behind her.

“Hey, brat,” Joey said, tromping in and heading straight to the fridge, as usual. He was a beast of a man. Large boned just like their father and a towering six foot two. Krista hadn’t gotten the “beast” gene, as her family called it. She was petite by their account, even though the world considered her five-foot-six, one-hundred-and-thirty-five-pound frame average.

Krista sat up and watched him pull out the salami. He lifted two slices of bread from a bag and sandwiched at least an inch of meat in between. “Want me to make you something better than that?” she asked.

He looked up, taking her in for a moment. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Why aren’t you getting ready for Thirsty Thursday at Castaways?”

“I’m staying in tonight.”

His assessing brown eyes continued to stare. “You’re still upset over whatever happened last night? You never did tell me what that was, by the way.”

“Doesn’t matter. And no. It was just a long shift at work. My feet are killing me.” And her heart felt a little achy, too. “I can cook you dinner, if you want. To pay you back for all the nights of DDing in your cab.”

Joey shrugged his broad shoulders. “It’s no problem. It’s good for my image to be seen with a bunch of beautiful women.”

Krista walked over and joined her brother at the kitchen counter. “Seriously, it’s time you found yourself a good woman to take care of you.”

“Well, if I do that, who’ll take care of you?”

This made her laugh, even though laughing was the last thing she felt like doing at the moment. “You do take pretty good care of me. Guess we’ll be stuck together into old age. Maybe we should take in a couple dozen cats and freak the neighbors out.”

Joey glanced at her over his shoulder. “Tempting.”

She laughed again. “So, dinner. What do you want? Name anything we have in our pantry and I’ll cook it for you.”

He scratched his chin. “I’m not sure you can handle what I’m craving.”

She folded her arms at her chest and shook her head. “Are you serious? I’m offering to make anything and you want mac and cheese right now?”

He took on a serious expression. “How the hell did you know that?”

“Because that’s what you’ve wanted for every meal since you were five. Aren’t you ever going to grow up?”

“Only if you do.”

Krista pointed at the couch where she’d just been having a mini pity party. “Go. It’ll be ready in fifteen. But you’re eating a vegetable, too,” she said, channeling their mother who lived with their father on the west side of Blushing Bay now. Krista pulled out the dark blue box with a neon orange–colored pasta dish on the front. Then she set about to making the meal her brother had asked for. He was never going to outgrow mac and cheese, but he had grown up. He owned his own cabbing business—even though he was the only cabbie—and he’d nearly married his high school sweetheart a while back. That had never happened, but at least he’d gotten close to his happily-ever-after. Krista, on the other hand, felt stuck in some in-between place. She wasn’t a child anymore, but she didn’t have the things she’d assumed would be hers as an adult. A husband, a family. Even Grace was getting married now. And Abby Sawyer, the other part of their Thirsty Thursday trio, had already been there and done that with Noah’s oldest brother, Sam.

So why not me? Krista wondered as the water boiled in front of her.

The doorbell rang, breaking her from her thoughts. Krista looked up. It was either Grace or Abby attempting to pull her down to Thirsty Thursday with them. “I’ll get it,” she said, sucking in a breath. She readied her “no” and opened the door to the one man she’d never been able to say no to—and the reason she didn’t have the adult life she fantasized about. “Noah. What are you doing here?”