19
The Apparition
I think I have a fever from staying out in the rain. I had a hot shower as soon as I got home and then came straight to bed but I must be hallucinating. I imagine I hear Ray’s voice and he sounds so desolate. He’s muttering something that sounds like a prayer, but I can’t make out the words.
“I miss you so much, Ray,” I whisper into my pillow.
“I miss you too,” Ray’s voice comes across loud and clear in my head.
I sit bolt upright.
“Ray? Is that really you?”
“Yes, I hear you.”
“You’re communing with me! Oh Ray, I can’t tell you what it’s been like since you left. I’ve been so…”
“I know. I have observed.”
“I love you, Ray.”
“Stay safe for me. No more drunken trips out in the rain. I have found the courage to do what I must do. You must be brave for me too.”
“What does that mean?”
He does not respond.
“Ray! Ray!”
I keep calling out his name, but the voice in my head has gone.
What does he mean about him finding courage? To do what?
I lie awake for hours trying to figure it out, but I know I’m just hearing what I want to hear. He was never in my head. I want him so bad, I think I’m going crazy.
Sleep eventually begins to claim me. I close my eyes and start to drift off, until I’m suddenly struck by an overwhelming feeling that I’m being watched. I open my eyes and my heart slams into my ribcage when I see a ghostly figure standing in the half-light at the end of my bed.
I whimper and break out in a sweat. The figure strides towards me, its hand reaching out to flip the switch on my bedside lamp, lighting up its features.
“Ray?” I bleat.
He sits beside me on the edge of the bed and I tentatively reach out and touch him. He feels real. “Is that really you?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
I gaze upon his face. He’s every bit as beautiful as I remember, so stunningly breathtaking that I wonder what he ever saw in someone as ordinary as me. “I can’t believe you’re here. What does this mean? Are you here to stay?”
He sighs deeply. “Can we chat in the morning. I’m exhausted. I’ve had a hell of a journey. I was kind of hoping I could just hop into bed with you.”
“This isn’t real, is it? I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
He yawns and starts stripping off his clothes. “Tell you in the morning.” He turns the lamp off and the next thing I know, his cold naked body is brushing up against mine. I shuffle over to give him more room and once he’s settled down I lie there, perfectly still, petrified that if I so much as breathe I’ll wake myself up and discover he isn’t really here at all.
Ray can’t be home…can he?
◆◆◆
I wake the next morning to an empty bed and my heart sinks, but just as I’m telling myself I need a shrink, he waltzes right in carrying two glasses of milk. I scream and he drops the glasses. They smash and milk splashes all over the floor. “Oh my God!” he yelps and rushes out, returning with a towel.
I watch, dumbstruck, as he mops up the milk and starts picking up the shards of glass. “Lucky it’s that thick glass, so the bits are easy to find.” He crawls on all fours around the bedroom and then pauses to look up at me. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I still can’t engage my tongue. I know it must be in my mouth somewhere but my whole body has gone numb.
“Don’t you remember speaking to me last night when I arrived?”
I nod slowly.
“I was going to attempt to make you breakfast in bed but I couldn’t find any food. Shall I go out and get some?”
I shake my head and hold out my arms.
He rushes over to me and wraps me up in a tight hug. “I missed you so much,” he mutters into my hair.
I cling onto him for dear life, determined to never let go again, so long as we both shall live.