I open my eyes slowly, throwing a colorful string of curses at the light streaming through my open window. I turn my head to look at the clock on the nightstand. It’s ten past one in the afternoon, meaning I must have slept at least ten solid hours.

As I swing my legs over the bed, the events from last night all come racing back to me. I drop my head into my hands, recalling that disastrous conversation with Daphni.

I hop into the shower to wash away the previous night. I had been too tired to remove all the makeup last night, so when I step out of my steaming shower, I look like a drowned raccoon. I grab a towel and wipe away the mascara residue. My plan today is to lay low and find a quiet place to study while I wait for Daphni to cool down.

My plan seems perfect until I’m dressed and looking for my book bag and suddenly remember that I had left all my books and my bag in Daphni’s dressing room yesterday. Shit.

There is no way I can leave my books there. I need to get them. Just knowing they’re not nearby is enough to cause me anxiety. So much for my plan to avoid Daphni today.

I step into my high tops and slip my phone, room key, and credit card into my back pocket. If I run, I might be able to grab my things before Daphni’s sound check and escape before detection and any awkward conversations.

I make it five steps into the lobby before I catch sight of my sister’s bright-blue hair. Panicked, I scan the large, open space for a piece of furniture to hide behind, but it’s too late, and her eyes lock on mine. Like a target in a crosshair, I am unable to move and I just stand in wait as she walks over, her stiletto heels clicking on the marble floor. Behind her I can see Liam offering me a consoling smile.

As she closes the distance between us, she slides off her sunglasses, revealing puffy, bloodshot eyes. I take a small measure of comfort in guessing that Daphni is probably feeling a whole lot worse than I am right now.

As she reaches me, Daphni reaches for my hand and pulls me down to sit next to her on a nearby bench. Her hands are cold, and when I see her under the unforgiving fluorescent lights of the hotel lobby, I realize how tiny and shrunken she looks, like a sepia shadow of herself.

“Gabby, I want to apologize for last night. I was awful and so mean and heartless.” She looks down as her voice breaks, shaking her head. “I am so sorry I said those things about you.”

I'm confused when I hear the emotion and sincerity in her voice. She had been so callous just last night, making a mock toast to our dead mother. With Daphni, I always feel like I have whiplash. I can never seem to get close enough to actually decipher what is going on behind the scenes before she is already two steps away.

I pat her hand reassuringly. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Daphni lets out a frustrated groan. “Don’t do that, Gabby. Not with me.”

“Do what?” I ask, taken aback by her frustration.

“You know. The whole ‘let’s pretend this never happened and stick fake smiles on our faces so the neighbors won’t know how crazy we really are.’ We are not Mom and Dad. God, Gabby, I am so sick of faking it all the time. Let’s just be honest—at least with each other!”

I nod in agreement and drop the smile. “Fine. If that’s what you want. You were a mega bitch last night and you looked like a total asshole.”

Daphni inhales sharply at my words before throwing her hands up. “You’re right. As usual, you’re right, Gabby. I suck. I’m sorry.” Cradling my hands in hers, she locks her large emerald eyes on mine and pouts her bright-pink lips. “Think you can forgive me?”

I can’t help but smile at how ridiculous she looks. As hard as I try, even I am not immune to my sister’s charms. I offer her a nod and she pulls me into a hug before releasing me, her face turning serious, and asking, “So what happened to mom?”

“She mixed up her ‘vitamins’.”

Daphni nods somberly, not needing any further explanation. “Funeral?”

“It’s, uh, today actually. In L.A., of course. Dad wanted to keep it small, to keep it from getting out too much. Lawrence told me they would be sending out a press release later today. They’re going with diabetic ketoacidosis and an accidental insulin overdose.”

“Got it.”

Daphni bites down on her lower lip and I catch a wave of sadness flash in my sister’s eyes. Instinctively, I reach out to grab her hand. “Daphni…”

Daphni pulls back her hand and exhales. Looking down, she presses nonexistent wrinkles out of her skirt. As she stands, she looks down at me. “Gabby, I’m good. Trust me. I’ve got to prep for tonight. Why don’t you come with? We’re all going to ride over.”

I want to wrap my arms around her thin frame, tell her it’s okay to not be okay. But who was I to even say that? Hadn’t I done the same with Liam just yesterday? It was if we had denial inscribed in our DNA. We both knew we were full of shit, we just didn’t have the ability to call out the other without outing ourselves as hypocrites.

So instead, I smile in return and stand to follow her to the town car waiting outside. And as I stand back and watch my sister wave to the paparazzi and pose with her fans, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sadness at how successfully she has mastered the ability to put on her happy mask and wear it so deceivingly.