Justin
The screen on my phone read 3:30 a.m. the last time I checked. It could have been an hour ago, but I knew only a few minutes had passed. I’d been stuck in this cycle all night—not sleeping, checking the time, then lying there thinking about not sleeping. It was a crappy cycle and I was swirling around in it, exhausted.
We started the night wrapped around each other, Hadley’s cheek pressed against my chest, my arm wrapped around her, holding her close. Our legs tangled together under the covers.
She’d been understandably exhausted when we’d arrived back at my house and it only took her about five minutes to fall asleep. I held her close, taking in the scent of her shampoo, loving the way her breath feathered over my skin, waiting for sleep to take me as well, but it never came.
Eventually I rolled her away from me, not wanting to wake her with my restlessness.
In the dark, I could see the shape of her. The dip of her waist, the hill of her hip, the way her shoulder rose slightly with her breath. The only sound was that of her breathing. It should have been enough to lull me to sleep, but it didn’t.
No. Instead, I lay in bed all night with something niggling at my mind.
The situation played over and over in my mind, like a movie reel stuck on repeat.
My mother’s voice was clear in my brain, almost like she was right next to me.
Are you in love?
I rolled over again and checked the time.
Three thirty-three a.m.
I groaned before I could stop myself, wishing it was morning already so I could stop hoping for sleep that would never come.
Are you in love?
I ran my hands through my hair, fisting it and tugging a little, trying to get my mind off the thoughts pummeling me from the inside. Trying to distract myself from what was really on my mind.
Fuck it.
“Hadley,” I said softly, my hand brushing down her arm, trying to wake her gently. “Had, baby, wake up.”
“Hmmm…” she mumbled, turning onto her back and blinking up at me, clearly confused. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to tell you something.”
“What time is it?”
“Three thirty-three in the fucking morning,” I grumbled.
“What’s going on?” She sounded adorably tired and I was almost sad I woke her when she obviously needed the sleep.
“I just need to tell you something and then you can go back to sleep.”
“Okay…” she replied, drawing the word out and narrowing her eyes at me.
I moved closer to her, loving the way she rolled toward me easily, so trusting. I wanted her turning to me like that forever.
“Tonight, at dinner, when we told my parents what happened in Vegas, something’s been bothering me about that.”
“What is it?” Worry creased her forehead.
I brought my hand to her face to try and alleviate her worry, to soothe her.
“My mom asked me if I was in love and I didn’t answer her.”
Hadley stilled, not even a breath passing through her lungs, so I continued.
“The thing was, at the time, I didn’t want to tell you I loved you for the first time while I was fighting with my parents in front of a stranger at some random restaurant. I wanted it to be special. To mean something. To be memorable, since one of our biggest memories is kind of blurry for both of us.”
“Justin,” she whispered, but I pressed my thumb against her lips, silencing her.
“But I can’t sleep knowing I denied it.”
I watched as tears welled in her eyes, as her chin shook just below my thumb.
“I do love you. I’ve loved you for a while now, even before Vegas. And I need you to know that. I need you to know I’m not here simply because there’s a piece of paper that binds us together. I’m not here because it’s the right thing to do. I’m here because . I love you, regardless of what happened in Vegas. Perhaps I love you more because of it, but not because it happened. Does that make sense?”
She nodded urgently, sniffling, and I took my thumb off her lips, only to have her quickly move to press her mouth against mine.
“I love you too,” she said against my lips, then continued kissing me. I let her kiss me, let her lips roam over mine, loving the way she seemed hungry for me, but I couldn’t let it go on.
“You don’t have to say it because I did. I’m not looking for reciprocation. I just needed to tell you.”
“Do you love me?” she asked suddenly, her voice firm.
“Yes.”
“I don’t doubt it. I trust you. Trust me when I say I love you too.” Her hands came to each side of my face. “You know me, and you know I’d never do something I didn’t want to.”
That was true. I had no power over her in that way.
The last thing I’d expected when I made the decision to wake her up and tell her I loved her was for her to say it back. I wasn’t prepared to process what that meant, how monumentally my world had shifted with just four words.
I love you too.
She loved me.
Not because she was supposed to and not because she had to, but just because. Because we were made to love each other.
I rolled on top of her, bracing my arms on the mattress beneath her, loving the way her knees parted almost instinctively, making room for my hips, and I made a point to look directly into her eyes.
“I trust you, Hadley,” I said softly, leaning down to kiss her again. Her body arched up to mine as our mouths met, and my body melted into hers, seeking the same contact.
Hadley never slept in the same thing twice. In fact, I wasn’t even sure she owned legitimate pajamas. Some nights she wore long T-shirts, some nights my T-shirts, other nights she wore tank tops with tiny shorts. Some nights she wore nothing. Then there were the nights like that one where she fell into bed with just underwear and a lace bra.
I moved my mouth down her body, over her jaw and her throat, down her chest, then ran my nose over the lace of her bra. Her breast rose and fell rapidly with her breaths as I brought the peak into my mouth. Her back arched further and her hands came to the back of my head, holding me against her, forcing me to take more of her. It wasn’t a chore. Hadley had the most perfect breasts, but I wanted to feel her skin, not the lace covering it.
My thumbs slipped under the garment and I pulled away as I lifted it over her head. Her long hair flew around, coming to rest on her pillow like a crown of sunrays.
“You’re beautiful,” I said, our gazes locked.
“You’re still clothed.”
I watched as the corner of her mouth turned up and then mine mirrored it. Her hands came to my sides and slid over my waist and the tips of her fingers slid over my ass and into my pants.
“You have a magnificent ass,” she panted. “I love you, but I really love your body.” She was smiling, almost laughing, but I couldn’t find the humor in the moment.
“Say it again,” I whispered, my face just an inch from hers. “Say it,” I implored once more.
“I love you.”
And just like that it was no longer about asses and breasts. Body parts weren’t important any longer because what mattered was simply connecting with her. I needed to be surrounded by her and she needed to be filled with me. We were frantic and static all at the same time, moving but connected. She stripped off the rest of her clothes and I pushed down my pants until finally there was nothing standing in the way of immersing myself in her. I reached down and slipped my fingers between her legs, groaning when I found her wet.
“You’re so ready, baby. I just want to be inside you. I promise I’ll take care of you.”
She nodded, giving me permission to bypass my usual MO of getting her off before I dipped inside her, because in that moment, we just needed the contact. It wasn’t about her, and it wasn’t about me, it was about the two of us, together. I needed to feel her.
And that was exactly what I did.
I claimed her. Pushed into her. Made her mine as much as I was hers.
My breath stopped, halting in my lungs as her warmth enveloped me. Her hands stilled on my back, our mouths frozen just inches apart. Slowly I pulled out and pushed back in, finding a lazy but fucking amazing rhythm. With each thrust her breaths came faster, her legs clamping tighter around my body.
“Fuck,” I groaned, sliding my hands under her ass and lifting.
“Oh, God,” she panted as I found a deeper angle. “Don’t stop.”
There wasn’t a chance in hell I was stopping. Not for anything. Not ever.
“Not on your life,” I grunted, earning me a small smile before it faded away and was replaced with her mouth falling open on a moan and her eyes rolling back in her head. Always a good sign.
There wasn’t a ton of space between us, but I looked down at where our bodies were joined and watched with fascination as my cock slid in and out of her, obsessed with the act of mating, with the idea of her being my mate. There was no one else on the earth who fit her like I did, and no one else who felt that good wrapped around me.
“This is it,” I rasped, my breaths coming quickly. “I’ve had enough of tip toeing around us. You’re mine now. No more fucking around.” I thrust with intention, making sure each stroke was deeper and longer than the last. I could visualize the peak she was climbing toward and I wanted to push her there gently, slowly. I wanted the burn to simmer.
I leaned down on the arm next to her head, bringing my face even closer to hers and making our bodies align. She lifted her knees around my sides and ground against me with every thrust.
“Oh, God,” she repeated, gasping whenever I applied more pressure to her pelvis.
“Like this?” I asked, intentionally making long strokes and rubbing the root of my cock against her clit.
She nodded, mumbling, “Mmm hmmm,” and biting on her lower lip, clearly unable to form real words.
I lowered my mouth to her neck, kissing and nipping her there, putting all my effort into making sure I hit the exact right spot, listening to her body react, hearing her moans—it was the absolute peak of sexual fantasy. Everything about being with her was above my wildest wishes, more than I could have ever imagined.
I continued to thrust until she cried out differently, a more desperate noise, and her hands moved from my waist and back to my shoulders, her fingers gripping me as if she were holding on for dear life. Suddenly she was shuddering, convulsing around me, her entire body locking up as she let out a guttural groan.
I continued grinding through her climax, rutting against her until she relaxed around me. When her body was calm aside from her hands slowly roaming my body and her eyes searching the darkness for mine, I leaned down and kissed her, slowing my hips to a less rushed pace. She continued to rock against me, but the urgency was gone, the need satiated.
“That was fucking beautiful,” I whispered against her lips after a moment. “I want to watch you come for the rest of our lives.”
“Deal,” she replied without hesitation. “I’ll be happy to show you lots of orgasms.”
Putting my weight back onto my shins, I leaned backward and caught her legs under her calves with my hands, pulling her toward me.
“Babe,” I said softly, running my hands down her thighs.
“Yeah?” Her voice was soft and sleepy.
“I want to try something, but it’s not something you just do, so I have to ask your permission.”
Her eyebrows lifted at my words and I could tell she was curious. “You just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had. The list of things I won’t let you do to me is very small at the moment.”
I pulled out of her and gripped her hips, flipping her onto her stomach and smiling when she gave a startled cry. I lifted her hips and pulled her up onto her knees, then thrust inside her, bending over her back and whispering, “I’ll remember that little tip.”
Her arms were splayed out on the bed, her cheek resting against the sheets, ass up toward me, and it was the sexiest goddamned picture in the world. Her body was blushed from arousal, slick with sweat and sex, and with each thrust she was groaning softly, and I wondered if I could get her to come again.
“I want to mark you,” I said as I slowly slid in and out of her.
“What do you mean?” she practically moaned, still sensitive from her orgasm.
“I want to come on you. Will you let me?”
She turned her head around to look at me, a smile spreading across her face.
“You want to pull out and come on my body?”
I could tell by the way she asked she wasn’t opposed to the idea.
“Yeah.”
“Where? Where do you want to come?”
Fuck.
I pumped in and out a few times, watching as her eyelids started to flutter.
“Your perfect ass,” I responded, giving it a gentle but firm slap. That fucking sound—my skin against hers—that snap of friction, it made me even harder, even more primed to claim what was mine. “Will you let me?”
“Yes,” she whispered, then dropped back to the mattress.
I gripped her hips, the little crease of her thighs like fucking handle bars, and I increased my speed. I pulled her against me.
Harder.
Then a little harder.
Until I could barely take it anymore.
She was crying out with every thrust and when I heard her come again and her tight pussy gripped me, I pulled out and fisted my cock. Pumping one, two, three times until I came, shooting all over the round globes of her ass.
I watched my cum as it spread over her skin, the way it pooled in the little dimple above her ass cheek.
“Hadley, you look so fucking sexy like this.”
I spread it with my finger, coating her, loving the way my cum looked against her skin. It was the most perfect thing I’d ever seen.
I leaned down and kissed her between the shoulder blades.
“You’re mine now.”