Chapter Twenty-Five
Hadley
I waited for a while and watched Justin sleep. With every breath he took I reminded myself that he was all right, that he wasn’t in danger anymore, that he wasn’t going anywhere. And even though I rationally knew all that was true, I still couldn’t shake the fear, couldn’t completely forget the terror I’d experienced just an hour before, not knowing whether or not I’d ever get to see him alive again, feel his touch, or hear his voice.
Eventually I stood to leave because I knew his parents, my parents, Camden, and Riley would want an update. They knew he’d made it out of surgery, but that was about it.
I looked back at him one more time before pushing the door open, and I almost couldn’t leave. I wanted to climb into the bed with him and make sure he took every breath, that his heartbeat remained steady. But I forced my feet to carry me through the door.
The ICU was quiet and it was 3 a.m., so the lights were dim. As I walked toward the waiting room, I started to crumble. I made it around a corner before I lost my composure. I leaned back against the wall, my hands coming to cover my face, and I tried to remain silent. I wanted to tamp the fear down, to be stronger than the sadness, but in that moment I was broken.
Bending at the waist, I cried as quietly as I could manage, feeling the tension ease with each wracking sob.
I didn’t know how long I stood there, crying into my hands, but eventually the sobbing stopped and I managed to stand upright. Wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hand, I tried to dry off and make myself presentable, took a deep breath, then headed toward the waiting room once more.
When I opened the door, all six pairs of eyes shot to me like lasers, and all I could do was say, “He’s okay.”
Alice broke down in her husband’s arms, my parents looked relieved, and Camden and Riley hugged each other.
“He doesn’t remember what happened. It seems like he’s in some pain, but he was also cracking jokes. They gave him some morphine and he’s sleeping again. But, like I said, he was awake and lucid, just in some pain.”
“Can I go see him?” his mother asked.
“I don’t think they’d kick you out if you’re quiet.” I gave them his room number and directions and watched as they made their way to see their son.
“He really doesn’t remember?” Camden asked, his voice softer than I’d ever heard.
I shook my head. “He asked me what happened and didn’t seem to remember. He was confused. Maybe it’ll come back to him, but at the moment he’s still pretty jumbled.”
“Are you all right?” Riley asked.
“Yes,” I replied, even though I could feel the pinching in the back of my throat that meant tears were coming again. “No,” I amended, doing the ugly trying-not-to-cry face. “I’m just really scared, is all.”
“Oh, sweetie,” my mother said, coming to me at the same time Riley rose from her chair. They both hugged me and I tried my best to compose myself.
“He’s going to be just fine,” Riley whispered. “I know it. He’s the most stubborn person I know.”
I let out a laugh, but it turned into another cry, so I let it out.
“I’m okay,” I insisted when I pulled away and saw their worried faces. “I promise. I’m just a little overwhelmed and tired. I’ll be fine.” I said the last words on a breath, letting out a large sigh, my shoulders sagging.
“What can we do?” Riley asked.
I shook my head as I wiped under my eyes again. “Nothing at the moment. I’m going to stay here and try to get some sleep, I guess. He’s out now and will probably sleep for a while with all the pain meds they just gave him.”
“Do you want to stay or go?” Riley softly asked her husband, who looked almost younger with the grief on his face.
“I guess there’s nothing for us to do here except sit. Maybe we should come back tomorrow.”
“Would you like us to bring you anything?”
“Maybe a change of clothes and some overnight stuff? I’m fine for tonight, but tomorrow if you wouldn’t mind bringing me some stuff, that would be awesome.”
“Absolutely. I’ll bring you the best overnight bag ever.” Riley rubbed her hands up and down my arms.
“Thank you,” I replied, trying not to cry again.
“We’ll call you tomorrow, late morning,” my mother said, pulling me into a hug. “I’m so sorry this happened, sweetie. But we can’t wait to meet him when he’s feeling better. Let us know if you need anything at all, okay?” she whispered against my ear and I hugged her back, taking the comfort only a mother can offer.
“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” I replied. “We were going to tell everyone eventually. We just needed a little while to figure everything out.”
“Don’t worry about that right now, Hadley,” she said soothingly.
“Focus on making sure he gets better,” my dad said, pressing another comforting hand against my back. “We love you.”
“I love you guys too.” I hugged my father, then Riley and Camden, and watched as they all made their way out of the waiting room and into the depths of the hospital.
Not wanting to rush Justin’s parents, I took a few moments to myself in the waiting room, listening to the sounds of the hospital. Of footsteps down the empty hallways, the distant beeping of monitors and machines. When I felt as though exhaustion had reached its peak, I slowly made my way back to his room.
I found his mother in the chair I’d been sitting in, her hand wrapped around Justin’s, with his father standing behind her, rubbing her shoulders. They were quiet, but obviously shaken by the sight of their son in the hospital bed.
Alice’s gaze moved to me in the doorway and she gave me a weak smile.
“Come on in, Hadley. You don’t have to wait in the doorway.”
I walked to Justin’s bedside and looked at him. He was still asleep, breathing evenly, looking almost peaceful.
“His nurse left just a few minutes ago,” Alice stated, her gaze locked on her son. “She said he’s stable and if there aren’t any problems tonight, he’ll most likely be moved out of ICU in the morning.”
“That’s good news,” I replied quietly.
“He’s a fighter,” she whispered, so quietly I wasn’t even sure I was supposed to hear it.
“Alice, darling, I think we should go home to get some sleep and come back in the morning. Let Hadley get some rest. We can’t do anything here except worry.”
Alice nodded, but didn’t move right away. When she finally moved, it was to lean forward and press a kiss against Justin’s forehead. She whispered something to him that I couldn’t hear, and then, with the help of her husband, she came toward me.
Her arms wrapped around me. “He’s going to be all right.”
I let out a sigh. “He has to be. There’s no other option.”
Her hand moved gently up and down my back until she pulled away. Justin’s dad hugged me too, though not as long, but it was still a comforting embrace.
“Let us know if you need anything and please keep us updated if anything about his condition changes.”
“Of course. You’ll be the first to know.”
Watching them leave was heartbreaking. Nothing could have torn me from that hospital, but I understood why everyone else chose to leave. There was nothing to be done and everyone was exhausted.
I took the seat Alice had vacated, scooted it as close to Justin’s bed as I could, took his hand in mine, and laid my head on the bed next to his hip.
When I woke next, the room looked completely different. Sunlight streamed through the window and there were more people walking past Justin’s room. Everyone looked busy and walked with purpose.
“You’re awake.”
Justin’s voice practically startled me and when I looked at him I could have cried at the sight of him. A lazy smile graced his face and my heart stuttered in my chest.
“Hey,” I said softly.
“How long were you asleep like that?” he asked, nodding his head toward me. “It couldn’t have been comfortable.”
I looked up at the clock on the wall, which read eight o’clock. “A few hours.” I sat up fully, stretching my cramped body. “How are you feeling?”
“Better, but still pretty shitty.”
“You’re probably going to feel shitty for a while. Do you need anything? What can I do?”
His eyes closed as he smiled. “Just be here with me for a while. The nurse said breakfast would be here soon.” He reached his hand out and threaded his fingers through mine. We sat there quietly as he ran his thumb up and over my knuckles and I was amazed at the man’s capability to comfort me while he was the one lying in the hospital bed.
The next few hours passed painfully slow. Multiple doctors came to assess Justin’s improvements and eventually he was given the green light to transfer out of the ICU. We called his parents with updates when we had them, but both our cell phones had long since died. We settled into the new hospital room on the floor with all the other surgical patients in recovery and let everyone know where we’d moved to.
Just after lunch, when things had finally died down and we were settled, Riley and Camden showed up and I had never been so excited for a change of clothes in my life.
“Thank you,” I said, taking the bag from Riley.
“How are you feeling?” Camden asked Justin.
“I’ve been better,” he replied with a small smile. “But I feel much better than I did last night. Everything was such a blur. I hardly remember anything between dropping Hadley off and this morning.”
“You had us all pretty scared, man,” Camden said, his voice quiet and soft.
“Yeah,” Riley added. “You’re officially not allowed to do that again.” Leave it to Riley to add a little levity to a heavy situation.
I smiled at all the love in the room. Justin and I were blessed with the very best friends. I put the duffel bag on the couch they called a bed and started sorting through it, looking over what Riley had brought.
“Oh, you brought a phone charger! You’re brilliant!” I immediately plugged my phone in and took a change of clothes and some toiletries into the bathroom.
Ten minutes later I felt like a new woman. I came out of the bathroom and saw Justin looking even more tired, and the three of them were talking softly. I went to my phone and powered it on, then put my clothes back in the duffel while I waited for it to start up.
“What are your plans for the day?” I asked Riley. “Haven’t you guys gone back to work yet?” They’d been back from their honeymoon for a few days now.
“We’re both off until Monday. So, we’re at your disposal. We can go get you guys lunch or dinner, hang out, or we can stay here if you want to go home and take a nap.” Riley’s words were said with tenderness and concern, but they immediately made me anxious.
“I’m not leaving,” I said with more force than I’d intended.
“Okay, that’s fine. I just wanted you to know it was an option. Whatever you want, that’s what we’ll do.”
My phone started vibrating and the alert tone was going off relentlessly. I picked it up and looked at the screen, noticing all the messages and missed calls.
“Shit,” I whispered. I clicked open my text messages and instantly my mood took an aggravated turn.
**Hadley, thought we could chat a little about the house. Talk to you soon.**
**Just wondering if you were still planning on coming out today to work at the house.**
“What’s wrong?” Justin asked, his voice weak.
“Nothing, just work stuff.”
The last message was the worst.
**I’m a little hesitant to enter into a work relationship with someone who doesn’t follow through on their commitments. Still waiting to hear from you.**
A large breath whooshed out of me and my hands fell to my sides as my shoulders slouched. In all the drama surrounding Justin’s accident, I completely forgot about Aiden’s house and my promise to go out there that day to put together a plan for the staging.
Shit.
“Okay, now you really have to tell us what’s going on.” Riley was sitting in a chair but looked as though she was ready and willing to kick anyone’s ass for me at any moment. That was one thing I always loved about her—she was my ride or die bitch.
“I was supposed to go out to Aiden’s house today to work on the plans for the staging. I was obviously a little preoccupied and completely forgot. And I’m sure it wouldn’t have been a big deal to reschedule, but my phone died and so I never saw his texts. Now it looks like I was ignoring him and am a complete flake.”
“He seemed like a pretty reasonable guy,” Justin added. “Call him back and explain. Tell him you’ll be there as soon as you can.”
“I’m not going up there today, Justin. Not with you in the hospital.”
“You’re just going to risk losing one of the biggest accounts you’ve ever managed to land? Why? Because I’m lying here? I’m not dying, Hadley. I’m recovering.”
“Babe, let’s go get us all some coffee,” Camden said to Riley, taking her by the hand and all but pulling her to the door.
I listened as Riley tried to argue with him, tried to convince him that no one needed coffee, but eventually he won and tugged her into the hallway, leaving Justin and me alone.
“They said I’m going to be fine, Hadley.”
“Yeah, and what about me?” I spat at him, my voice angrier than I’d intended, but suddenly I couldn’t control my emotions. “What if I’m not okay leaving you? What if I’m not ready to go yet?” Tears welled in my eyes and my nose started tingling. I didn’t even try to hide the fact that I was about to have a breakdown.
“Had, come here,” he said firmly. There wasn’t anything I could do but go to him. With him was exactly where I wanted to be. I watched with horror as he scooted himself over on the bed and made room for me, patting the space he’d made right next to him.
I climbed in carefully, tears starting to slip freely down my cheeks, and cuddled up gently next to him, careful not to entangle myself in his IV or put any pressure on his incision.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” I whispered when my head was carefully cradled on his chest.
“Don’t apologize. Just talk to me.” His free hand came up and he ran the back of his fingers down my cheek, both comforting me and drying my tears. That sweet gesture just made more tears take their place.
“I went from being completely happy and carefree last night, to having my world shattered in an instant.” My words were soft, almost as though I was afraid to speak them too loudly for fear of them haunting me later. “I’ve been telling myself for months that I don’t need you. Trying to convince myself that what I feel for you isn’t real, isn’t necessary, that it’s frivolous or silly. But for that hour when I wasn’t sure if you were even alive, well, it put everything into perspective.”
I sniffled and Justin lifted up the corner of his hospital gown and brought it up to my face, wiping underneath my nose with it, making me laugh even though I was perfectly happy having an emotional breakdown.
“I know it’s irrational, but I’m not ready to be separated from you yet. Not after what happened the last time we were apart.”
“I love that you want to be with me, Hadley, but us being apart isn’t what caused the accident. I wasn’t hit by that car because you weren’t there. And us being separated doesn’t mean anything bad is going to happen.”
“I know,” I replied, my voice resigned. “Like I said, it’s irrational. But it’s just how I’m feeling.”
“I get that,” he said, brushing a hand over my forehead, doing everything he could to soothe me. “But we can’t let fear rule us. I won’t allow it. I’m perfectly fine.”
I leaned back and gave him a raised eyebrow.
“You are far from perfectly fine. You’ve been pieced back together by surgeons.”
“That’s a little dramatic.”
I leaned back further, this time my eyebrows scrunching. “Are you new? A little dramatic is my middle name. Deal with it.”
He laughed and winced, making me feel terrible for making him laugh.
“Don’t say cute shit,” he groaned.
“Sorry.”
“Okay, so here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to stay with me today, but tomorrow you’re going to work. No matter what happens with me.”
My eyes must have bugged out of their sockets because he cut me off before I could argue.
“Because I’m going to be fine, Hadley. I’m going to lie in this bed, maybe get a sponge bath,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at me, “eat some Jell-O and sleep. That’s all.”
“When your husband is in the hospital, you stay with him.” I said the words like the logic was absolute, because to me, it was.
“No, when your husband needs you, you stay. When your husband is just going to be sitting like a lump on a log, you go to work and be the fierce business owner I love. If you missed this opportunity, I would feel really guilty. You don’t want me to feel guilty, do you?”
“Well, you’re just evil,” I scoffed, hating that he was doing a great job of telling me I was being crazy.
“I’ll even make you a deal. If for any reason, any nurse or doctor gives you any reason to think I’m sliding backward on the recovery scale—even one tiny indication—I’ll let you win and you can stay. But if I continue to make improvements, you go.”
I thought about his words for a few moments and eventually came to the conclusion that he was right. Well, we were both right, really. He was just a little more rational than I was at that time.
“Fine, but I swear to God, if something happens while I’m away, you’re going to pay. Like, give me your credit card and let me go to Nordstrom kind of pay.”
“That seems fair.” He smiled his most brilliant smile. Even with the weariness of almost dying still etched on his face, his best smile was still so fucking handsome.
“I’d really like to kiss you,” I whispered, my eyes darting from his eyes down to his lips and back again.
“I haven’t held a toothbrush since yesterday morning, so while I share your sentiment, that might kill us both.”
“Good thing Riley packed an extra toothbrush,” I said with a wink.
“I’ve always liked that Riley.”
I laughed.
“Me, too.”
An hour later Justin’s teeth were brushed, we’d made up for lost kisses, and I had the most delicious mocha in my hands thanks to my best friend.
The boys had found some sporting event on the television and Riley was on the phone with her brother, so I decided to pull up my big girl panties and deal with my business. I walked to Justin’s bedside and brushed my hand through his hair.
“I’m just going to take a little walk and call Aiden,” I said.
“Okay. I’ll be here when you get back,” he said with a wink. Even in a hospital bed, the man could make my heart skip a beat.
I leaned down and kissed him chastely, but when I tried to pull away, his free hand—the one that wasn’t attached to an IV—cupped the back of my neck and he deepened the kiss. His tongue parted my lips and it took all my willpower to hold in a moan. He smiled against my lips and if he hadn’t been recovering from surgery, I would have slapped him. Or at least punched him in the arm.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I mumbled against his mouth.
“Don’t tempt me,” he whispered.
Smiling, I backed up out of his reach.
“I’ll be back in a bit, you guys. Can I get anyone anything?” I asked the room. I received a bunch of polite ‘nos,’ so I palmed my cell and headed out of the building completely. It had been a while since I’d had any fresh air that didn’t smell like sterilized steel.
Once outside I angled my face toward the sky, letting the sun heat my skin. Then I took a few deep, calming breaths and called Aiden.
“Hadley,” he said by way of greeting. “I was beginning to think you’d disappeared.”
“I am so sorry about practically ghosting on you. I really want to continue working together, and the last twenty-four hours are not a fair representation of my commitment. Yesterday, my husband was hit by a car and spent the night in the ICU. I came to the hospital, but I didn’t have a phone charger, and if I’m being honest, I really wasn’t even thinking about work until I saw your messages. I am so sorry.”
“Oh my God, Hadley. Are you serious? Is your husband all right?”
“He’s good now, thank you. But I hope you can accept my apology. I understand if you want to bring someone else on instead of me, but I’d really regret not working with you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to punish you because you had a family emergency. Clearly you had more important things to deal with than my house, and I’m glad you ignored me. Honestly, I would rather work with someone who has their priorities straight. It shows character.”
“Wow,” I responded, grasping for words. “I’m really glad to hear that.”
“So, how can I help? What’s his status now?”
I had been imagining this conversation for the last hour in my mind and never had it gone this well. I knew I liked Aiden, that he was a decent, stand-up guy, but I would’ve never dreamed he’d be that understanding or supportive.
“He’s actually doing really well at the moment. It was touch and go there for a little while, but he has some excellent doctors and he’s expected to make a full recovery, minus the spleen.”
“Yikes. Well, I’m glad he’s got a good prognosis.”
“Me, too. Thank you.”
“Well, take all the time you need, obviously. Would you like for me to find someone else to take over for this house, though? Just to cover until you’re ready to go back to work?”
“No,” I said a little too enthusiastically. “I mean, I don’t think that’s necessary. He’s basically kicking me out of here tomorrow, so if it’s okay with you, I’d like to distract myself with work.”
“I think that sounds great. But please don’t feel like you have to work right now. Not for me. I would never replace you long-term for missing one day. I don’t want our working relationship to be unevenly beneficial. If you need time with your husband, I totally understand that. I want this to work for both of us.”
His compassionate response was going to make me cry again. He was obviously a very decent man. One I thought I would be lucky to work with.
“It will do both me and my husband some good if I left him alone for a little while. I appreciate your concern more than I can properly convey.”
“All right. In that case, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you then, Aiden. And thanks again for being so understanding.”
“Anytime, Hadley.”