Chapter Twenty-One

Back To Good

Phoenix

After visiting with Mags, dodging eye darts from Juliana, while being dragged around the house by Brand, and avoiding Gail, I am totally exhausted as I trek up the dirt road to my place.

I sit on the steps to watch the sun go down and think of him.

As difficult as it was to leave his bed this morning, and then come face to face with his brothers as I tried to escape undetected, I did the right damn thing.

I felt I had some power in this—whatever it is between us. When we talked, I held my ground, even seemed to shake him a bit. I never really thought games were healthy in any relationship, never wanted to play them again, but this doesn’t feel like a game. It feels more like survival. And as much as I’m taking Mags’ advice and not fighting the fall, I’m also preparing for my ass to hit rock bottom.

When I feel like I may fall asleep, I force myself to stand up.

When I walk into the house and see a room full of flowers, I turn around and walk back out the door.

Survival.

I walk over to Mags’ and unlock her door. I walk through, kicking my sandals off before climbing into her bed, where I cry.

I cry until I fall asleep.

I wake to the bed dipping, and I’m am being rolled to my side. I smell him and know without even opening my eyes it’s him.

“Squirt, have you been sipping the shine? Went to the wrong place last night.”

I open my eyes, and he looks shocked.

“What?” I grumble.

He runs his fingers under my eyes. “You, uh...Your makeup, uh...”

When he starts laughing, I push him, trying to get him away from me.

“Fuck you, and fuck your flowers, Gage!”

“Excuse me?” he gasps.

“Don’t you do that shit to me. You and I, we fuck. We don’t do flowers. Hell, we don’t even talk.”

“Apparently, we do fucking flowers,” he snaps. “And right now, we’re talking.”

“I’m leaving in two months. Two.”

He huffs, “So you think.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask, pushing him away again. “Never mind. Just go back to the city.”

When my head is held tightly against his chest, I feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

I push away and hop off the bed. I run out the door, across the driveway and into my place, looking straight down so I don’t see the flowers, and head straight to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

As I wash the makeup off my face and brush my teeth, I hear a door slam and jump. I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth.

“Get your ass out here.” He half-laughs, and my heart aches slightly.

I missed the smile I imagine on his perfect fucking face.

Fucking face...Damn him. Damn him!

I pace back and forth, hoping to hear him exit, knowing damn well he’s not leaving.

I give up and open the door, seeing him leaning against the counter with a single white rose in his hand, smelling it.

Damn.

I look away. If I don’t...I’m going to end up on my damn back again.

The entire room is filled with flowers, all different kinds and colors. It’s beautiful. Totally beautiful. And my chest squeezes, feeling like it’s giving my heart a hug, or possibly attempting to strangle it slowly until it totally freaking explodes and poof, I’m gone.

He pushes off the counter and sets the rose back in the vase he took it from. He steps closer, and my ache increases. Then he grabs a purple tulip out of the next vase and smells it before putting it back as well. He moves closer, and my nipples tighten. He takes a lily out of the next vase and smells it, a slight smile spreading across his face. He steps closer and hands it to me.

I swallow hard and take it. “Thank you.”

He nods. “That’s the scent that wafts through the air whenever you’re close, and even when you’re gone.”

I have no idea what to say, so I don’t say a thing.

“Smell it.”

I do.

“Smells good, doesn’t it?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“I’ve sent flowers before, Phoenix. Mags on birthdays and dates important to her; my mother the same; friends and their wives when they have a baby; Juliana on birthdays and anniversaries because that’s the right thing to do.”

I nod, and he steps closer. My body tenses up.

“Mags gets sunflowers because she loves those damn things. The others get whatever the florist suggests. You, I wanted something specific.” He turns and grabs another lily from the vase and smells it. “This. I just didn’t know what that smell was that is you. Still don’t know what it’s called, but it smells a hell of a lot like you.”

“It’s a lily,” I tell him.

“Glad I know that now. Didn’t when I ordered these.” He smells it again. “I know that lilies smell like you, and I fucking like the way they smell.”

I have no idea what this means, and I don’t want to get some silly notion that it means anything more than what he said.

“I know that you and I can’t be in the same fucking space alone without fucking, and that’s not a bad thing. Does make me feel like a fucking teenager again when I get hard whenever you’re around, and that needs to be worked on.”

I want to tell him it doesn’t. It doesn’t need to be worked on. I want him to want me.

He shakes his head as if he knows what I’m thinking. “I crave you, just as much as you crave me.”

My throat is dry, so dry, and I’m almost certain that it’s because every ounce of liquid in my body is now in my panties.

I swallow hard, and his eyes squint in a smile.

He smells the flower again and puts it back. “Goddamn.” He adjusts himself, and I want nothing more than to be his hand.

“You fuck with me hard, Phoenix Star, and not just physically. You know about my shit, and you don’t look at me differently. You fucking ran right toward me when you found out. You have a confidence about you that is sexy as fuck. You’re kind to others, except anyone you let into that heart of yours enemies. You fucking fuck with me, and I know damn well I do the same to you. So, your shit on the phone yesterday, about dick being dick, you know damn well that’s not true now.” He pauses, waiting for me to tell him it’s not true, so not fucking true.

I just smile and look down.

He sighs. “It’s almost July. That means, in two damn months, your lease is up. I’m not gonna be here every day, but I fucking hope you are. Because, not only am I wanting to be inside you all the damn time, I want you around. You. I want that, and asking for it is selfish as fuck.”

Ask, I plead in my head.

“It’s also selfish that I kind of need you here. Got a lot of shit to get through, and I brought that shit to my favorite place in the world—here, Falcon’s Landing. If you weren’t here, I’d hate the thought of it. But you are, and I know damn well I can get through it now.”

I swallow back tears.

“Stay. Stay until that ache goes away. Stay until you get pissed that I work too much. Stay until you think you might lose yourself. Just fucking stay and be mine for as long as you can stand me.”

When he steps toward me, I know what’s coming. I want what’s coming.

Instead, he kisses the top of my head, inhales deeply, and then steps back.

He grabs a lily from the vase again and smells it. “You’ll get lilies, Phoenix Star. You’ll get that and more. Just gotta stay. And don’t you dare fucking change because of the hell this is gonna be.”

He turns to walk away then stops. “This is me walking out the fucking door, dick hard as nails, because I’m gonna fucking show you that, as much as I want you under me, I want you to stay.”

“Gage,” I call after him, and he stops. “Okay.”

He turns and looks at me with a beautiful smile, one that lights up the entire place.

I start to walk toward him, when he holds up his hand to stop me.

“This is me trying to do the right thing.”

I walk closer. “And this is me telling you that you have been.”

“Good,” he says, taking a step back. “I’m fucking glad you think so, Phoenix, but you’re gonna get more. You’re gonna get a better man.” He starts to open the door.

“Wait.”

He smiles and looks up. “Lord, help me with this one.” Then he looks at me. “No one knows we’re here. Don’t tell them. I’ll see you after dark.”

“Are you serious right now?” I ask, knowing full well I’m pouting.

“Yeah, squirt, I am. Staying with my brothers at my folks’ old place down past the fence.”

After a very cold shower and an attempt to remove the shit-ass grin off my face, I walk down to the big house. Before my feet hit the bottom step, the door flies open and Brand comes running out.

“Come with me. I wanna show you something,” he says as he flies past me, taking my hand.

There is no stopping him, so I don’t. I run beside him and out to the open field where he points left.

“My dad’s building a fence.” His smile is so big and so genuinely happy.

“That’s cool.” I smile back at him.

“I told him I wanted a horse. I think that’s why he’s building it. Do you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Mags says he has a crush on you, and that you have a crush on him. Is that true?”

“Mags said that, did she?” I want to throttle her.

“She says lots of things. She’s funny.”

“She sure is,” I agree, grateful that he changed the subject.

“She likes you a lot.” He makes a face. “I’m sure when my mom and grandma get to know you, they will, too.”

I laugh, and he does, too.

“Wanna walk down there to the fence?” he asks.

Shit, shit. That’s where Gage is.

“I was thinking maybe you could teach me how to fish.”

What the hell am I thinking?

He grabs my hand again, pulling me behind him. “Come on!”

I sit on the dock, fishing pole in hand, Brand next to me, and his grandmother on the other side of me. Mags is just off the dock, sitting in her “buggy” as she calls her electric wheelchair, and Juliana is pacing back and forth.

Bitch.

Brandon squints up at me. “You’ve never fished before?”

“No, not once.”

“Well, what did you do when you went camping and to the lake?”

I shake my head. “Never went camping or to the lake.”

“Some people aren’t as fortunate as you, Brandon,” Juliana says. “Lots and lots of people have very little.”

Nails. Chalkboard. Cunt.

“And some just don’t do the camping thing.” I smile at him, nice and brightly. “My parents took us once a year to Cambodia for a two-week vacation. They worked really, really hard running a business they started so they could support their family.”

“Like Dad?” He smiles back.

Ha, bitch.

“Yep, like your da—Oh, no, no, no,” I say as my fishing pole bends.

“You gotta reel it in.” Brandon laughs, excitement in his voice.

“I gotta what?”

“Want me to do it for you?” he asks, taking the pole without an answer.

“Sure.” I can’t help smiling at his excitement.

“I think it’s a big one.” He beams. “Mags, it’s a big one!” he calls over his shoulder.

“Hors d'oeuvres big or dinner big?” she calls back.

“Not sure, but I’m thinking dinner,” he answers.

She laughs. “Well, let’s get it in here and see.”

His grandmother, Gage’s mom, helps him. “Jerk back. You need to make sure it’s on the hook.”

“I am, Grandma, I am.” His voice comes from deep in his belly.

When he brings it up, they all gasp, and he looks so damn happy it warms my heart, until I think about what he’s going to face soon.

“Dinner, Mags, definitely dinner.” He giggles.

When they get ready to start slicing that poor thing up, I tell them that I am going to mow the lawn. Mags laughs, and Gail looks at me with those cold, dark eyes. Juliana rolls her eyes, and I fight the urge to shove her in the lake, tied to a cement block.

While mowing the lawn, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and smile when I see who it is.

- You fished with Brand?

- I did...stalker.

- Mags knows I’m here.

- I didn’t say a word.

- Says she could tell because of your smile.

- Is that so?

- I’m convinced she has a tracking device implanted inside me somewhere.

- lol.

- You don’t have to mow the damn lawn.

- It’s part of my agreement.

- I know the owner, and he’d be happier if you’d just leave it alone.

- A contract’s a contract’s a contract.

- Stubborn as hell.

- It’s one of my better qualities.

- I’m bringing you dinner at dark.

Giddy, I feel giddy.

- How are things going with your brothers?

- Better than expected.

- Okay.

- Okay.

I shove the phone in my pocket and pull my shades back down, smiling like a fool as I get back to work.

When Mags is in bed, Brand reading her a story, I tell them both goodnight. Mags winks at me and wags her eyebrows, and I roll mine at her, causing her to laugh.

“Have a great night, honey girl.”

When I walk out, I hear footsteps behind me—heels. Could be one of two women I’m trying my best to avoid.

I walk a bit faster and quickly slip out the door.

As I’m all but running down the stairs, I hear her. Gail Falcon.

“Phoenix, a moment please.”

I stop and turn around to face her.

“I think you need to reconsider my offer. I know that you went to see my son. I will assume by the fact you returned back so quickly he used you for what he needed and then tossed you out.”

I cross my arms over my chest and bite my tongue harder than ever before to stop from telling her how wrong she is.

“Mags may want you here. I do not.”

I want to tell her I don’t care what she wants...so I do.

“I don’t care what you want. I have a lease until September, and if I choose to stay, I’m sure the owner will be more than happy I do.”

Without waiting for a response, I start walking, hearing her follow behind.

“You have no idea what I am willing to do for my family,” she says at my heels.

“And you have no idea what he’s willing to do,” I snap at her and immediately regret it.

She grabs my elbow and pulls me back. My fists ball at my side, and I use every bit of strength I have not to slug her in the nose like I did Juliana.

“What the hell does that mean!”

I quickly think of something to say. “Look what he’s already done for that little boy. Look at what he’s done! Do you have any clue how hard that is for a man like him?”

“You know nothing about him! Nothing! If you did, you’d run. You’d run so fast—”

“Take your fucking hands off her,” I hear from a distance, and then see Gage drop a bag as he runs toward us.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Gail gasps out, releasing my arm as he pulls me against his side

“It’s my fucking property. Now you, you and that bitch—”

“Brand,” I whisper reminding him of what’s important.

“Tomorrow, you and her are out. Brand stays. You hear me?”

“Gage, that’s not going to happen.” She shakes her head and looks at him like some sort of misbehaved child.

“I have fucking custody. Don’t you tell me what is and isn’t going to happen,” he snaps.

I watch his eyes. Wild, pained...hurt.

“That can easily be rectified,” she says, eyebrow slightly raised.

“You leave here with him, I’ll have kidnapping charges brought up against you.”

This shakes her slightly.

“You would never,” she gasps.

“You have no fucking clue what I would do. Try me.”

“Gage—”

“Get the fuck in that house and stay put!” he yells as his grip on me tightens.

“Who do you think you’re talking to like that, young man?” she spews back.

“I know exactly who the fuck I’m talking to. You and I, we’ll talk tomorrow. And trust me; I have no fucking problem going to every person you know about what I’ve learned about you.”

Her eyes widen, and she looks nervous. “Gage...”

“March your ass down the road, Mother,” he snarls.

I feel his body tremble in anger and put my arm around him. I look up at him, but he doesn’t look down. He continues to stare at her.

Once she’s out of sight, he closes his eyes for a moment, and then reaches into his pocket with the arm not still holding me like a damn vice, and pulls out his phone, hitting his messenger app with his thumb.

“Fuck,” he says, releasing me. However, I don’t let go of him as he sends two messages, giving me a sideways glance between them.

When he gets his replies, he slowly lets out the breath that he was holding and looks down at me.

“You good?”

I nod and force a smile.

“Fuck,” he says as he grabs me up and carries me into the cabin.