Chapter Twenty-Six

Wide Open Spaces

Gage

For a week, we bust ass to get the cabins ready. While Mags and Phoenix work on furnishing the cabins, Garrett, Brand and I build that playset. It’s bigger than I hoped it was going to be, but the more we start settling into a routine, the more swings end up being added.

Phoenix never argues the fact that condoms became a thing of the...recent past, and I didn’t have any problem releasing my cum on her ass, her tits, or in that sexy as fuck mouth of hers. One thing for sure was: she and I, we were fucking equals in many ways.

She was a little ass buster, not afraid to work. Liked it, actually. Same as me. In bed, nothing was off limits, and both of us made sure the other was more than satisfied.

When I think back to just a few weeks ago, it was always odd seeing other couples hold hands, kiss, hug, and simply want to be around one another. Hell, I had never experienced it, always thought it was fucked up, and assumed the man was kissing ass so he could get off later. I was fucking wrong. There is no one I would rather be around than her. She is life intensified.

All the turmoil I thought I was bringing to Falcon’s Landing wasn’t so fucking bad. Still hurts, but I have my brothers and Mags here, just like the yesteryears.

Brand, my little man, is showing less and less confusion because of the situation and is a fuck of a lot happier than he has been in the past few years. He is the damn star of the show here. Every kid deserves to be that in their home, and this is his home.

Phoenix Star, the piss-pot who hated men, gave me a run for my money, pushed me away, not knowing that was making me fight to get closer to her, is nothing short of remarkable. Like Brand, I want to make damn sure she is happy. And like Brand, I want to make sure she is happy forever. I owe her so damn much and she doesn’t even know it, nor does she expect it.

Watching Brand and Garrett together is hard. Harder is seeing Juliana try to be the mother she should have been to begin with. But at least she is trying. Garrett, he is annoyed when she’s around, until Mags told him that, if Brand is good with accepting him, then he should try to do the same for her. They are both a few years late, but Brand had a damn good role model all those years they were absent.

I saw the look in his eyes when she said it. He was pissed, but she stood toe to toe, and eye to eye with him, me not far away, and he nodded, kissed her gray hair, and then walked away. He accepted what she said, though he didn’t like it much. But as they say, the truth...it sometimes hurts.

Gray, he is around, too. Quieter than he was when he first came to the city, but that’s always been like Grayson—never too close, but never too far away, and wherever he is, that damn guitar is nearby.

He is even trying to teach Brand how to play.

“It’s reveal day,” Mags says when I walk out of my office.

“I finally get to see?” I ask.

She smiles. “Of course, my boy.”

She and I walk out onto the porch, seeing Brand run from down the dirt road, where he has been checking things out with Phoenix.

“Dad, Gage, Dad,” he says, coming to a quick stop at my feet.

I am getting used to this. I know when he goes back and forth like this that Garrett is probably in earshot.

“They look awesome. The Steels are gonna love camping!”

I almost laugh. The thought of them camping is definitely comical. Fortunately for them, these cabins are a hell of a lot more comfortable than a tent. Still, it’s far from the city, the shore, the boardwalk, or the homes they are accustomed to living in. It’s so much better than any of those places.

I love sleeping at Phoenix’s place, love the simplicity in it, but someday soon, she will be staying at my place, living in my place. Someday soon, it will be our place.

Why the fucking rush? I have asked myself that question a million times, and the answer remains the same: it feels right.

For now, while Brand is getting used to all the changes, this is perfect...for more reasons than one.

We walk into cabin 7, where Phoenix’s parents will be staying. And no, they didn’t reserve shit. I invited them. She will probably be annoyed I overstepped, but here’s the thing: I have big fucking feet; I’m bound to overstep.

When I walk in and see her, there’s a feeling I get every damn time I see her. A feeling that’s somewhere between overwhelmed and comforted. Overwhelmed because I want her all the fucking time, and she looks at me the same fucking way. Overwhelmed because she’s not someone I feel a responsibility for...Well, not in a way that’s taxing.

Those words, those three words I spoke to her, carry responsibility that is of unmeasurable weight, yet it’s weightless. Fucked up, so fucked up, but so true.

Overwhelmed that I want everything with her, and I want it right fucking now. Overwhelmed because I know it messes with her, confuses her, makes her feel like, if she doesn’t cave to my demands—and yes, I’m a demanding motherfucker—she will let me down. She won’t. She can’t. I love her. I fucking love this little bit of a woman who is hell on wheels and in some ways bigger than me.

Comfort because I know what our life is going to be—never fucking boring, always challenging, and regardless of the challenge, in her five-foot nothing, which is everything, she will rise to it, same as me. And in that, in that drive, determination, strength, loyalty, passion for life and humanity, there is comfort that I have met my fucking soulmate and never have I believed in such a fucking thing. Not until her.

I have to look down, break eye contact, let her and Brand and Mags do their thing. They earned it.

“The kitchens have pots and pans, all the utensils, coffee pots, plates—everything they’ll need.” Phoenix’s eyes are bursting with excitement as she walks to one of the bedrooms. “The beds all have sheets, blankets, pillowcases, and the windows have curtains.”

The bedding is red and black flannel.

“I like it.”

“Right?” Brand agrees, hopping onto the bed. “And mattress covers. Don’t forget the mattress covers so no one gets cooties.”

Phoenix laughs at him as she rubs her hand back and forth over the top of his head, over his wavy mess of hair, and then grabs his hand, pulling him off the bed. “The bathroom.”

“Yeah, Dad, Gage”—he laughs and looks around—“Dad, the shower curtains match the comforters!”

“That’s cool, little man.” I smile as he grabs my hand and drags me behind him as Phoenix drags him behind her.

I look back and Mags, who is smiling softly. She winks and nods for me to go with them. Not like it’s a very long road to travel. Hell, it’s steps.

After going through all the cabins, all the same, we walk toward the house. Next on Phoenix’s list of shit that needs to be done is to print out a reference sheet of local restaurants, shops, places of interest for people who stay here to have at their disposal.

I have Brand’s hand in mine, Phoenix holding his hand on his other side, and Mags in her electric scooter on my opposite side, traveling together down that dirt road toward the big house.

I remember the vision in my head when I decided to build this place. It was to be a getaway, a place to be one with nature, a place for Brand to grow, and to do it without the outside world’s noise, a place to be.

When things got fucked up, when Juliana wanted back in his life, we didn’t spend time here. The dream was covered in shit. It’s beauty gone.

Hard to believe that, in the midst of even deeper shit to wade through, those colors I dreamed of, those vivid, living, vibrant colors are now shining bright enough to let me see that dream again, and more vividly.

I have found my way back to what brought me here: comfort, peace...life.

I look over to see Phoenix looking at me and smiling. I smile back. I smile because, when I dreamed of this place, I never imagined it could be what it is. It’s not a place to be or become; it’s a place to live, truly live.

I mouth “I love you” to her, and she mouths it back.

I hear Mags giggle and look over at her.

“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it, my boy?”

I nod. “Yeah, Mags, it sure is.”