“Mother!” I gasp, utterly horrified at the words she’s speaking to me. Her daughter, her only child. She can’t say this stuff. Can she?

“Marina Parks, you need to get your freak on. A man to fullfil your desires. It’s fun. You’ll see, sweetheart.” I knew I shouldn’t have answered the phone when it rang.

After my evening with Arsen, I woke up this morning still thinking about him. The way he held me close. Kissed me like he couldn’t breathe. When I answered the phone amidst my packing, I was breathless and caught off guard, so when Mom asked if I had met anyone, I caved like a kid in a freaking candy store.

“Mom…” I can’t help the whine in my voice.

“We want you happy again, Marina.” The sadness in her response breaks my heart.

“I can’t lead someone on like that.” It’s my biggest fear. Falling in love only to be rejected. Who could be expected to survive that? Not me.

“Sweetheart, when you meet the right man, he’ll accept you. All of you.”

“He won’t be expecting the world’s largest flaw, though.”

“Marina!” she admonishes me, pure anger lacing the single word. “You are not flawed. You are perfectly you.” Her nice way of saying, that yes, I am, in fact, damaged. “I don’t want to hear that talk again, young lady.”

“Sure, Mom.” It’s easier to just agree with her.

“Now tell me more about him. What’s his name? Is he tall? Handsome? What color are his eyes?”

“Geez, you already sound like a fan.” She laughs and waits. Sighing, I give in. “His name is Arsen Daniels, and he’s a detective. He’s very tall, dark, and mysterious.” I don’t even need to close my eyes to picture him right in front of me as I carry the garbage out, phone tucked between my neck and shoulder in that awkwardly kinky way. “He has these tattoos that run just under the collar of his shirt and peak out at his hands.”

“Oh my.” I can picture my mother fanning her face with one hand. She loves tattoos. Dad has none. Go figure. “Do you know what they are?”

“No. I’d like to find out, though.” My words are muffled as I toss the garbage in the bin.

Hands surround my waist making me freeze. “I’d love to show you,” is growled in my ear, and I tremble.

“Shit,” I whisper, mortified. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even think the reason I could picture him is that he is standing right there. I’m such an idiot.

“Marina? What’s wrong?” Mom’s panic is palpable.

“Nothing, Mom. I gotta go.” Hanging up, I stuff the phone in my back pocket. Mistake. Big mistake. The bulge I knock into definitely isn’t a belt. Or phone. Or anything but his erection. “Oh, don’t be real, don’t be real, please, don’t be real.” Closing my eyes, I turn around, and I can feel his body shaking with laughter as I open them. “You’re real.”

“All six feet three of me.”

Dropping my head forward, it lands on his chest. His very hard, solid, full of muscle chest. “So hard,” I mutter quietly.

“Indeed, I am,” is his seductive response.

I’m going to die of embarrassment before this day is over. I just know it. I can’t survive this. The heat in my cheeks alone should be scorching me straight down to hell.

“We gonna stand here all day, or…” His sentence hangs in the air, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with it, so I walk away. Back into my apartment.

The tiny, tiny home that has clothing strewn everywhere and personal things he shouldn’t be seeing, and oh my God, is that my bra hanging off the couch? Shit.

“I’d like to see you in that.” Arsen’s right behind me, reaching for the pure white lace. Rubbing the fabric between his fingers. From experience, I know it’s smooth as silk.

Instead of taking it away from him, I, the idiot I was born to be, say, “There are matching panties, too.”

His warm breath on the back of my neck sends shivers up my spine as his hands press into my exposed stomach. Why oh why did I wear this damn halter top today?

“Today is not my day,” I hiss, beyond frustrated with myself.

“It sure is mine.” He spins me around, lacing one hand in my hair, and the other—still holding my bra—cupping my neck as he brings his lips down upon mine. Unprepared and off my game, I melt into him.

My walls are down, the barriers gone, and Arsen takes complete control of me. Stealing my moans, grasping my last shred of sanity as I feel us falling onto the couch. He softens the landing by rolling us to the side. His tongue licks tenderly at the seam of my lips for entry. I try to hold off, I really do, but when he tugs my hair in his strong grip, I break. Gasping into his mouth, he sweeps in like he owns me.

And maybe…

Just maybe he does.

Maybe Arsen is exactly who I’ve been looking for. Maybe I shouldn’t be fighting him. Maybe I should be accepting everything he does to me with open arms. No other man has made me feel the way he does. No other man has broken past my defenses with a few well-spoken words and a deep rumble of laughter that makes my heart flutter like butterfly wings.

Until Arsen, I never gave a second thought to a life of love and passion.

Until Arsen, I thought I’d die alone.

“Let go, Marina,” he groans against my lips.

We want you happy again. My mother’s words play through my mind, and I do it. I let go. I give Arsen everything he’s looking for because I think he could be my happy.

Gripping his shirt, I pull him closer to me, loving the feel of his masculinity beneath my fingers. Feeling his muscles ripple with his need, a need for me, has me purring into his mouth.

“Good girl,” he says, and I preen. Hearing those two words melt me and tempt me to give into all his desires. I can feel myself getting ready for him, my womb tightening, my breath increasing with anticipation.

My chest fighting off the panic of not being good enough.

My mind screaming I’m broken.

My heart clenching with the fear of rejection.

“Breathe, Marina,” he mumbles in my ear, sensing my panic. “Relax.” He instructs like he knows what’s wrong. “I’ve got you.” His reassurance doesn’t have the desired effect because I know once he finds out, he’ll be gone. “Good girl,” Arsen whispers when I relax, and just like that, those two words have me melting into him. Again.

I don’t understand. Myself. My body. Him. None of this makes sense. I want Arsen. I want him as much as my next breath. Unfortunately, this damn fear holds me back. I must tell him before anything happens, but I don’t know how.

How to say the words.

How to accept his inevitable dismissal of me.

How to move on.

Some days, I really hate being a woman. Today is the worst day yet.

* * *

I can feel the shift in her. Cold to hot to cold again. I’ve got frostbite and whiplash from her conflicting emotions. If I were any other man, I’d likely be annoyed, but I’m not. I’m a man who knows what he wants, and what I want is Marina Parks in my arms. Tied to me.

“I promised you lunch,” I remind her through gritted teeth, trying my damnedest to keep my lust for her in line. After hearing her describe me briefly to who I learned was her mother on the phone, I knew she wasn’t as aloof as she tried to portray last night.

Marina has walls built so high that I’m going to need a wrecking ball to break through. Only, first, I have to find out what erected those walls to start with.

I’ve always enjoyed a good challenge with an exceptional award at the end.

Marina will be a life’s goal I can only hope to treasure.

Clearing her throat, she doesn’t look at me as she pushes to sit up, which tells me all I need to know. She knows I know she went haywire on me. “Lunch.” She vocalizes the reminder like we both need it.

“Sure. Anything in particular you’d like to have?” I know what I want. Her. Laid out bare for days in my bed.

“Oh. Maybe we could go to the mall? I’ve got a few things I need to get. We could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak.” She still won’t meet my gaze.

I do like the way her blush works through her entire body. I can see just a peek of it beneath her crop top and up her chest to her neck. I’d be remiss if I didn’t want to follow from the beginning to end.

“The mall? Yeah, we can do that.” I’ll do just about anything so long as she’s with me.

“Great.” She stands. “I’ll be right back, just need to…” She points to her shirt. Not that I’m complaining because I like seeing her in some skin-showing garments, but I’m not keen on anyone else seeing what’s mine. So, I wait.

Staring around her cozy apartment, I’m shocked at the 360° change it seems to have done from last night. It was clean and tidy. Now, it’s like an explosion went off, only it forgot to char everything in existence.

“Deep cleaning?” I ask Marina as she reenters the room.

“Huh?” She looks up from tying her hair back. “Oh. Well, yes and no.”

I wait for her to elaborate.

Nothing.

“Right.” I’ll drop it. It could be nothing, could be something. The detective in me says she’s distracted by her emotions, though. “Ready?”

She nods and precedes me through the door. Following behind, I lock the doorknob and pull it closed. Waiting as she locks the deadbolt, I guide her down the stairs. Scowling once again at how dimly lit the building is.

We’re both quiet as we exit and climb into my truck. This time it does feel awkward. It’s not the same natural silence as before. Can’t say I like it too much.

“How long are you leaving for?” I’m sure I’ve asked, but my mind is spinning from the loop she’s got me in.

“A week or two. I hadn’t really decided.”

Fucking silence.

Tightening my hands on the wheel, I fight not to take over. Demand she stays. Demand she be mine unequivically. I want things with her I don’t even fucking think she’s ready for. She’s young, maybe even too young for the likes of me. I just don’t give two shits about that, though.

I want this woman with every fiber of my being.

“What made you choose kindergarten?” I stare at her as I ask the question, and a flash of pain flits across her face so quickly I nearly miss it.

“I’ve always loved kids. Kindergarten is a great age to be a big influence on their education.” She smiles as she speaks of them.

“Do you have siblings?” Now seems as good a time as any to learn more about her life.

“I’m an only child. My parents had trouble conceiving.”

“Was growing up lonely?”

“Very.”

“You must want a whole brood of your own then, huh?” I smile thinking of her round with child. She frowns, making me wonder.

“Not anymore.” She sighs, turning her face to the window before I can read her.

Sensing the subject is off limits, I change it. “What are we shopping for today?”

“I need new luggage and summer clothes. Mom was saying Arkansas has been hotter than normal.” Great. The torture of seeing her try on clothes, imaging her nude behind curtains and not being able to do a fucking thing about it.

“Awesome.” My jaw clenches tighter than a bolt.