Chapter Fourteen
Charlie walked into Ryder’s office, shut the door, and sat down in the chair opposite his desk.
Not in the mood for conversation, Ryder didn’t look away from his computer screen. “Yeah?”
“Everything okay?” Charlie’s accent, which only hinted at his Southern roots normally, sounded more pronounced when he was concerned.
“Yep, everything’s great.” The words he’d intended to be flippant came out like a snarl. He cleared his throat. “What’s up?”
“You bit Harold’s head off at the morning huddle,” Charlie pointed out, oh so helpfully.
Well, that was because he was in a shit mood.
Ryder shrugged. “You keep saying he needs to toughen up.”
“Yeah, but I’m the bad cop, you’re the good one. I thought he was going to cry.”
Ryder turned away from his computer screen. “I wasn’t that bad.”
Charlie raised a brow. “He’s moping around here like a kicked puppy. You know the kid hero-worships you, and this isn’t how this operation works. I break their spirit, and it’s your job to build it up again, stronger and better than before.”
Ryder sighed. Charlie was right. He hadn’t meant it, but he was short on sleep and patience, and he’d taken it out on the poor kid. “I’ll fix it.”
“Good.”
Ryder waited for Charlie to leave, but instead he kicked back in the chair and stretched out his long legs.
“So what’s wrong?”
“What makes you think anything’s wrong?” Ryder didn’t want to discuss what had happened with Sophie. He’d done the right thing, laid out his cards, and she’d made her decision. There were no more moves to be made.
Charlie laced his fingers over his stomach, making it clear he wasn’t leaving until Ryder talked. That he was settling in and digging in his heels. “I’ve worked with you for almost a year now. You’ve been in a bad mood exactly one other time, and that was when you found out your mom’s dog died. So being a crack detective, I put two and two together and figured something was wrong.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m going to assume this is about Sophie.”
“Fuck you.” He delivered the words like bullets.
“Jackpot.” Charlie smiled and laughed. “Just get it off your chest and you’ll feel better.”
Ryder scowled at him. “We’re guys, we don’t get things off our chest. That’s not how being a man works.”
Charlie just stared him down with the hawkeyed expression he used to elicit confessions. Since Ryder was a fan of the move himself, they squared off for a good three minutes before he broke down. With a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair. “She thinks it’s best if we don’t spend time together. Oh, but we’re going out on a fucking double date Maddie so helpfully cornered us into. And I’m not going to lie, I’m really not interested in watching another guy hit on her all night.”
“You like her, huh?”
Fucking guy was too observant for his own good. Ryder shrugged. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me, so the point is moot.”
“I’m sorry.”
He let out a frustrated breath. “I should be thankful, because being with her is like being repeatedly blindsided by a truck.”
Charlie chuckled. “I’m not sure I understand what that means.”
“I’m not sure I understand either.” Ryder scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “You know how with women you have to be on your best behavior all the time?”
Charlie nodded.
“Sophie is bored by my best behavior.” Not that it mattered any longer.
“That’s a pretty fantastic trait in a woman,” Charlie said.
“Yeah, it is.” Ryder’s brows knitted as he thought through the last couple of days. He’d underestimated his emotions, and he didn’t like it one bit. He’d hoped she’d agree to at least something, but she hadn’t, and he’d promised. “It doesn’t matter. I laid it out for her, and she asked me to stay away. What can I do?”
“Well, obviously something else is going on with her, because I know it’s not lack of interest or chemistry.”
Ryder narrowed his gaze. “How do you know that?”
Charlie laughed. “This is Revival. You guys are the talk of City Hall.”
Ryder frowned. “We’ve kept it very professional.”
Charlie nodded. “I don’t doubt you believe that, but everyone else is waiting for you to go at it during the next project meeting. Griffin said you guys have so much tension, after every meeting he goes home to take the edge off with Darcy.”
Ryder rolled his eyes. “So I’m helping Griffin get laid. Awesome.”
“I’m not sure Griffin needs help getting laid by his wife, but the point is you guys reek of sex and it’s making everyone horny.”
Ryder pinched the bridge of his nose. “How is this helpful?”
“I’m just saying the evidence suggests she’s in as bad a shape as you are. So there’s other factors at work here.”
Ryder shrugged. “Other than her saying it’s not a good idea, she won’t tell me.”
Charlie’s expression turned speculative.
Frowning, Ryder asked, “What?”
“This isn’t consistent with the Sophie I know.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means everything I’ve ever heard about Sophie is she never plays it safe. She’s impulsive and spirited and confrontational. Maddie once told us a story about getting into trouble with some guys in high school and how Sophie tried to rescue her and take them all down herself. One of them tried to punch Sophie, and Maddie said she went ballistic on the guy, kicked him in the balls, and made him cry like a baby. Sophie rushes in and thinks later. So why is she thinking ahead now?”
Ryder scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I have no idea. I can only take her at her word. If she wants to be neighbors, I’m not sure the reasons matter. I have to respect her decision.”
Charlie sighed. “Guys with blue balls are such idiots.”
“If you have something to say, just say it.” He delivered the words through gritted teeth.
“She’s running scared.” Charlie smirked, cocking a brow. “And so are you.”
Defensiveness immediately reared up, raising the hair on the back of Ryder’s neck. “How do you figure? I’m the one that wanted to go for it.”
“But you’re playing it safe, which isn’t your way and sure as hell isn’t hers. Stop trying to manage your attraction to her.”
“I’m not.” Anger was like a hot poker in his side, letting him know Charlie was on to something. All his years in law enforcement had taught him volatile emotions always hid something. As soon as a suspect got riled, they were headed down the right path.
“You said she was bored by good behavior,” Charlie pointed out.
“Yeah, so?”
“So why haven’t you stopped the meeting and pulled her into the storage closet yet?”
His brow furrowed. Because ... he was playing it safe.
And Charlie was right, he was scared. He’d never met anyone like Sophie, and she was leaving. He’d done the right thing, believing it was for her, but for the wrong reasons. He’d bullshitted himself. He blinked. “You’re right.”
“Of course I am, now what are you going to do about it?” Charlie’s voice was full of smugness.
Ryder played with the mouse on his desk, thinking. He needed to make a decision, right here. Right now. He was either in or he was out.
He thought of her, looking up at him with those big brown eyes, the kitchen at Maddie’s that night, the way she took a sledgehammer to the garage door and yelled at the television.
He thought of Cheryl, the kind of woman he’d been attempting to date since he moved to Revival. He hadn’t even remembered to call her. How could he with Sophie on his mind? How could any woman compare to Sophie when she was right next door?
Yeah, she’d leave. As much as he’d love to delude himself, Sophie wouldn’t stay in Revival. So, yes, he’d crash and burn and go down in a blaze, but so what? Women like Sophie came around once in a lifetime. Better to have her for six months than never have her at all.
He’d made a promise, one he had to stick to, but that didn’t mean he had to make it particularly easy for her.
He sat forward and put his elbows on his desk. “First, I’m going to give her a chance to miss me, and then I’m going to take her on a double date with Bill and Cheryl.”
A slow smile spread across Charlie’s face. He nodded. “Interesting strategy.”
He shrugged. “With Sophie, it’s got to be.”
* * *
After a miserable day, she drove up the driveway to find Ryder, shirtless, cutting his hedges. As he clipped away with big garden shears, she gritted her teeth. His muscles flexed and bunched in the late afternoon sun, making her mouth water and her heart ache. She’d done the right thing, she could tell because the words had been so hard to say. She lay against the steering wheel and watched him.
Skin golden, he gleamed with sweat.
Her mouth watered.
He swung to look at her.
Across the yard, their eyes met.
She held her breath.
They said nothing.
He nodded.
She nodded.
Finally, she got out of the car. She didn’t have the energy to fight with the garage door, so she grabbed her bag from the passenger’s seat and started the trek to the house when he called, “Sophie.”
Her heart leapt into her throat as her body surged in response to her name. She looked over her shoulder at him. “Yes?”
With the shears he pointed at her car. “It’s supposed to rain tonight.” Then he turned back toward his task without a backward glance.
Her shoulders sagged. She watched the way his shoulder blades moved under his skin, fighting the urge to drop her stuff and touch him. She dragged her attention away and trudged inside, sagging against the now-closed door. She’d deal with the car later, after he’d gone and no longer presented such a temptation.
Throat tight, she closed her eyes. All she wanted was to cross the yard and tackle him to the ground. Snarl and bait him until he consumed her.
She wanted something else too. Only, she had no name for what it was she craved. All she knew was he was the man to give it to her.
It was in the way he looked at her. Like he had plans. Understood things. Like he wasn’t afraid to satisfy her.
She banged her head softly against the door. She was doing the right thing. If it hurt like this now, what would it feel like after months?
She took a couple of deep breaths and dropped her work bag on the kitchen table before digging her cell phone out of her purse. She needed to call Penelope. Her logical, practical friend who’d agree with all of Sophie’s sound, adult reasoning.
She pressed her name and kicked off her shoes before padding into the bedroom. The phone rang and she unzipped her dress, shrugging out of it and lying down on the bed when Penelope answered.
The second she heard her friend’s voice, tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. “Pen?”
“What’s wrong?” Penelope sounded instantly alert.
Sophie swallowed, trying to contain her emotions. Trying to get them under control. This just confirmed she was right to back away. To disengage from him.
“Sophie, what happened?” Penelope’s tone turned demanding.
She pressed her fingers into her eye sockets to quell the urge to sob and managed to spit out a shaky, “I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay. Talk to me so I can help you.”
She bit down hard on her lower lip, enough to cause the sting of pain. It reminded her of when Ryder bit her. It had been aggressive, territorial, and arrogant as hell, but God, had she liked it. So much. She’d never felt claimed before. Not by anyone. Nobody had ever really seemed to want to, and she’d been on her own so long, she had no idea that was something she wanted.
“Soph.” Penelope’s soft voice brought her out of her haze. “Talk to me.”
She sucked in a shuddered breath. “It’s Ryder.”
“Okay.”
“I like him, Pen.”
“From what I saw he likes you too.”
“I know.”
“That’s bad?”
“I like him too much.” She clenched her jaw. “So I pushed him away and told him to leave me alone.”
Penelope clucked. “Oh, Sophie.”
She shook her head. “I’m doing the right thing. I know I am. He’s too ... much.”
There was a moment of silence before Penelope said, “Once you told me Evan looked at me like I was a steak dinner and he was starving.”
“I remember.” It was the night Penelope had finally broken down, let out all her pent-up emotions and had a good long cry.
“You said you’d kill to have a guy look at you like that.”
“I did.” She didn’t really mean it, though, because that wasn’t something she anticipated happening.
“Ryder looks at you like that.”
Sophie stared up at the ceiling. “But he’s the wrong guy.”
“Why’s that?”
She couldn’t stomach talking about her past mistakes, so she gave the easy answer. “Because he lives in Revival and I live in Chicago.”
“Isn’t it premature to be worried about that?”
“No.” She swallowed hard and admitted the truth. “He’s going to hurt me, Pen.”
There was more silence before Penelope said, “All right.”
“I can’t set myself up for heartbreak. I just can’t.”
“I understand.” Penelope sighed. “But just so you know, you can survive heartache. People do it every day.”
Not her. She’d closed her heart off a long time ago. Or maybe, with the way she’d grown up with parents that loved each other more than they’d loved her, she’d never really opened it. Her whole life it had always been that way. She was used to living on the outskirts. That was her place. Where she belonged.
Ryder threatened that, but to what end? It wasn’t like when she went back he’d choose her. His life was here, his family, friends, and job. He had roots. She was doing the right thing, for both their sakes.
She cleared her throat and said in a firm tone, “It doesn’t matter. It’s done. I told him to leave and he left. I took care of it.”
“So you’re safe?” Penelope asked in a soft voice.
“Yeah, I’m safe.” She’d made sure to ruin it.
“Now what?”
“I do the job I came here to do, have fun with Maddie, do my time, and come home.”
“You have a plan.”
“I do.” She licked her lips. “I’m doing the right thing, right?”
Three beats passed before Penelope answered. “If you don’t want to get hurt, you’re doing the right thing.”
“Exactly.” She wiped her face. “I’m going to go watch Netflix.” Not Making a Murderer because that would remind her of Ryder, but something else. Maybe Penny Dreadful. A dark, macabre story to fit her mood.
“Okay. If you need me, call.”
“I will. Thanks.”
She hung up but didn’t feel any better. In fact, she felt worse.
She lay on her bed and stared unblinking at the ceiling. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that, silent and pondering, but a knock at her back door startled her out of her trance. Her heart leapt and immediately started pounding a too-fast beat.
She looked down and remembered she was almost naked. With a sigh she got up, pulled on shorts and a T-shirt, and padded out of her bedroom and into the kitchen. Her throat went dry at the sight of him at the door through the glass.
He was still shirtless. Why was he doing this? She thought they’d agreed.
She opened the door but didn’t speak.
Gaze narrowed, he swept down her body. A muscle in his jaw clenched. He held out his hand. “Give me your keys and I’ll put your car away.”
Oh. The car. She’d already forgotten. She glanced over his shoulder. The sky had darkened, threatening rain at any minute. “I can do it.”
“It will only take me a second. I already opened the door.”
The tension between them was electric, making her nipples harden and her whole body tingle. She shrugged. “One second.”
She walked over to the counter and retrieved her keys before walking back to hand them over. “Thanks.”
He gripped them tight. “I’ll be right back.”
She leaned against the doorway, watching as he jogged over to her car. He got in and pulled it into the garage. A minute later the door shut and he was back in front of her. He handed her the keys.
Why did he have to be gorgeous and considerate?
She licked her lips. “Thank you.”
He met her eyes. “I talked to Bill today.”
A date was the last thing she wanted. She’d canceled coffee but was determined to go through with Friday. “All right.”
“There’s a slight problem. He suggested that since we live right next door, and he and Cheryl live on the opposite end of town, it made sense to meet them at the restaurant in the middle. Considering your desire to stay away from me, I wanted to run it by you.”
Bill was the last thing on her mind. All her reasons were good, only when Ryder got in front of her, he made it hard to think. It was why she didn’t want to be alone with him. She didn’t trust herself. And she knew what happened when she didn’t trust herself.
But he was here now. Standing in front of her. Real. Unable to help it, she let her gaze roam over Ryder’s chest, down his stomach to his lean hips. When she spoke, her voice came out husky. “I guess that makes sense.”
“It’s practical.” Ryder’s own gaze wandered, hooding when he reached her breasts.
He put his hand on the door frame, right above her head, and it brought him way too close. “So should we meet outside at seven?”
She sucked in a breath, inhaling the masculine, spicy scent of him. She had no idea what he was talking about. “What?”
When he spoke, his words came out low and intimate. “Our date, Sophie. On Friday.”
“Oh.” All she wanted was to step aside and let him in, but she stayed frozen in her spot. “Yes, that works.”
He nodded. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
Disappointment raged inside her, and she held her breath, waiting for him to slip, to say something very Ryder-like and suggestive.
But he didn’t. He just turned on his heel and walked away.
With shaking hands she closed the door.
He’d taken her at her word. All right then, good.
Things would only get easier from here.