Claire

My legs were tangled with Aiken’s when I woke on Christmas morning, my thigh wedged between his, my head glued to his chest. I lay quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment, listening to his beating heart. We’d had a great few days with his dad, touring the farm and the area. Judith had come over, and we’d made a Christmas feast using all local ingredients, including my cacio e pepe pasta.

“I think I smell coffee,” Aiken rumbled underneath me. “The big question is...wait for it. Do you think Judith stayed over?”

“I guess we’ll see soon enough. Are you okay with that? She’s been here almost the whole time.”

Aiken’s palm smoothed over my hair and settled on my shoulder. “I’m more than fine with it. Pops has been alone for a long time. He deserves some sweet, in and out of the sheets.”

This earned a pinch on his arm. “No offense, but I’d rather not think about Sam and Judith in that way. I only just met them.”

“None taken.” His voice was still groggy from sleep, hair sticking up every which way. I fell even harder for the man lying next to me, although I tried to keep my feelings at a distance. I worried what would happen when he was gone. He was bound to leave Pennsylvania, or find someone else. History repeats itself?

My track record spoke for itself.

How would I fill the void of Aiken?

“What will happen if you find your mom? Do you think they’ll talk it out? Sam and your mom? Will you come back here, mission accomplished?” The last part barreled out of my mouth against my better judgment. I’d told myself over and over to let Aiken do what he needed to do and not to interfere. Now, my feelings and anxieties were front and center.

“Well, they’ve never officially been divorced on paper, so maybe. I don’t know what the rule is, if their marriage is over because she abandoned it, or what. I think it’s a state thing. I never considered it until right now. We certainly never discussed that part of it…because Pops never seemed to want to move on. Until now. I don’t know how finding her would affect us. Truth is, I’m starting to think…not real good.”

“I guess in the whole scope of things, it doesn’t matter now. You have to push forward.”

“I don’t know. I wanted to find my mom to get some answers, and now I’m not so sure. It could be bad for everyone.” His nose scrunched up in a way I’d never seen before, and I’d cataloged a lot of Aiken’s expressions. I chalked it up to disappointment in where he was in the process.

“You can’t give up now.” I shifted my leg, moving it on top of his and snuggling closer.

“Like I said, I don’t want to ruin the holiday with this. Let’s go get coffee…” He pinched my butt, and we got out of bed and put on pajamas to travel downstairs.

“For you.” Sam interrupted my caffeinating moment when he set a small box next to my coffee mug. I was dressed in a cashmere turtleneck, yoga pants, and wool socks. Indiana was like back home—wet, gray, and overcast.

“For me?” I asked, lifting the box and shaking it. A small echo rattled around in the box.

“Go on, open it.”

Judith had slept over, but had gone home to get dressed for church, something Sam no longer did. She was going to attend services and then come back for lunch.

“Did you know about this?” I looked at Aiken.

He shook his head. “Zip.”

Carefully untying the ribbon, I unwrapped the green-and-red-striped paper.

Inside the box was a beautiful broach, a swirl of diamonds and sapphires in a paisley pattern, set in white gold.

“Wow, this is beautiful. It’s too much. It must be a family heirloom?”

I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes and willed them away. Aiken had wanted this to be a happy day. It was overwhelming, though. I could tell I was going to come undone at any moment.

“It was Aiken’s mother’s. I bought it for her when Aiken was born. A birth gift, or whatever they call it. Never had the heart to sell it after she left. I’ve kept it buried in a drawer.”

“Put it on,” Aiken instructed.

“Now?”

He nodded, came close, and took it from the box and slid it into my sweater. “Gorgeous.”

“It really is,” I whispered. “We should give your dad his gifts, but I just want to stare at this.” I looked down at my chest.

“Come on, I have something for you too. Although, I feel like my pops is showing me up.”

Aiken took my hand and led me to the front room. Next to the tree was another small box with my name on it. This one was wrapped in blue and silver paper. I shook it too. Another small echo. I began to fear it was a ring.

I was too old for that, let alone on Christmas Day. Pushing all my trepidation aside, I opened the package. “Oh my,” was all I said.

Inside were the most gorgeous earrings and matching bracelet. Amethyst studs and a chunky bangle bracelet crusted in more amethysts of all different shapes and sizes.

“Purple.” It was a raspy whisper.

Aiken was close, tipping my chin, kissing my nose, taking the bracelet out, slipping it on my wrist.

“Purple,” he repeated.

“She would have loved this.” My eyes grazed my wrist. “I can’t imagine what her reaction would have been now, as almost a high school senior, but back then, she would’ve jumped and clapped, her eyes lighting up.” This time, I couldn’t fight the tears. They pricked and clawed their way out.

“And these.” He detached the earrings from the box. “Put them on,” he said, swiping his thumb under my eye, wiping away the moisture.

“This is crazy. I’m walking around looking like I robbed a jewelry store in my pajamas,” I said, my ears feeling heavy from the earrings, my wrist weighted down, my heart the heaviest. A strange combination of longing and complete and utter happiness mixed in my blood.

“Those are definitely not your pj’s,” Aiken said for only my ears, and I swatted his arm.

“This is too much. All I got you was one of those Garmin running watches and a set of grill tools…I left those at home because they weighed more than my luggage…but now I’m going to need to up my game.”

“Both are great gifts for me. Perfect, actually. But seeing you in these, knowing it was Abby’s color, means more than you know to me.”

I watched Aiken give me a once-over before he grabbed my cheeks and kissed the breath out of me.

Good thing he knew how to breathe the life back into me.

He seemed to do that better than anything else.