Trevor wasn’t sure how he would perform tonight, but it had to be done.

A bonafide Rock God would be able to push his problems aside and get out there and rock the fucking show like everything was rainbows and unicorns. Just went to show how much he lacked in the Rock God department.

Roman hadn’t said much after Trevor had confessed to him. And honestly, he didn’t feel all that much better for having confessed. He thought he would feel lighter or something, but the ghosts were still there. The burden was still there. The only difference was another person knew what had happened now. He knew in his heart that Roman would never tell another living soul, that his confession was secure. But it didn’t change that his best friend might think differently about him now. If his silence was any indication, Roman was mulling all this over and probably, decidedly, had found Trevor severely lacking. Guilty.

He went through the motions of the show, somehow blocking out the lights and the crowd, managing to perform but not enjoying a second of it. His voice was strong, and he was on point with every single thing. Except whenever he glanced at his best friend, Roman wasn’t looking back. Instead of sharing a microphone and jamming a few lines together like they always did, Roman turned away when Trevor approached.

If he’d fucked up this much with his long-time friend, how would things go with Emelia?

After the show, he bypassed the crowd and his bandmates and immediately texted Emelia to see where she was. She had chosen for the past several nights to have her own hotel room. She was there, doing some computer work. He didn’t worry about showering or changing as he had his driver take him there. Let everyone else party. This was more important.

She answered his knock in a pair of silk pajama shorts and a matching tank top. Her hair was free around her shoulders; her cheeks flushed with pink. It was almost midnight. He was surprised to find her up yet; wondered if she had waited up to hear from him.

“Hey,” she said with a drop of curiosity. “You didn’t want to hang with the guys?”

He gripped the doorframe. “May I come in?”

“Oh, of course.” She moved to the side to allow him to enter. Trevor ran a hand through his hair, not even sure what it was that he wanted. Her company. Her attention. Her love.

“You want some water or something? I don’t have any alcohol.”

“No, Em. I’m good.”

He felt a little awkward standing in the middle of her hotel room. She bypassed that, though, and opened a boxed pizza on the table and cracked a bottle of water.

“Well, you look like you need something. You’re a little pale. And, I’m sorry, but Rock God’s do not look pale.”

There was laughter in her voice, but he couldn’t return the emotion. Trevor went and lightly took her arms in his hands. She turned worried eyes on him.

“I’m not a Rock God, Em. I’m nothing. I don’t deserve any of this.”

“You’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Is it Grant?”

He gave a sharp shake of his head and sank into a chair. Emelia followed suit, sitting next to him and holding his hand.

“No. It’s me, Emelia. It’s me. I just... I just need you. Okay?” He gave her wrist a tug. She stumbled forward out of her chair and into his lap. Trevor spread his knees so her body could fit between them. Taking her face between his hands, he brought her lips to his. The kiss was gentle, soft and warm. Sparks flew in every direction over his body, her simple touch clearing his mind.

She moaned softly and deepened the kiss. With a groan, Trevor pulled her in closer, kissed her harder, claiming her mouth with complete dominance. She allowed it, leaning in when he asked for more, her arms going around his shoulders and holding on tight. Her lithe body fit onto his lap as they kissed. Finally breaking away, Trevor took a breath and ran a hand over her hair. Her lips were swollen and red from his kiss.

“It’s a beautiful night,” he said quietly. “Let’s sit out on the balcony, eat some of that pizza and stare at the harbor.”

She smiled and gave a short laugh. “Did you black out and wake up as Mr. Darcy?”

“Haha. I actually know that reference, just so you know, and I’ll take it as a compliment. No, Em. I’m stressed. I need... to decompress. And I need to do it with you.”

She kissed him again, soft and light. “I love that I’m the person you chose to hide with.”

“No, you’re the person I chose to run to. You’re my rock, Emelia.” He peppered kisses over her cheeks, temples, stroking her hair and wishing he could hurry this into so much more. He wanted to throw her on the bed and ravish her beautiful body. But they had to take this slow. As slow as their lust would let them. She edged out of his lap and stood, reaching for his hand. He took it, threading their fingers.

“Come on then. We’ve got a harbor to stare at.”

Trevor let her pull him to his feet. He let her lead him to the balcony and pull up a chair for him. He let her get him food and something to drink. He let her start the conversation.

It dawned on him that he’d let Emelia do whatever the hell she wanted.

As long as she was by his side.