Chapter One
“If that kid doesn't stop kicking the back of my seat, I'm going to chuck him out of the window, him and his uber tanned, ignorant, witch of a mother. I mean who actually chooses to be that shade of orange?”
“Damien, stop kicking that chair,” tango orange mum chastised the boy in her screechy scouse drone, who gave Annie's chair one final hard kick for good measure before moaning to his mother just how bored he was; ensuring he yelled it loud enough for the entire carriage to share his emotional turmoil.
“Oops, she must have heard me.” Annie grinned, grateful that the constant drumbeat had stopped banging into her back.
Annie Marshall tilted her head back and tried to let the rhythmic melody of the train relax her mind. There was a considerable amount of material for it to contend with. She had declined Paul's offer of a lift to the station. He had a course to get to and dropping her off at the railway station would make him late so Annie did what he hoped she would and said, 'It's fine, don't worry; I'll get a cab.'
A peck on the cheek, a gulp of coffee later, and Paul was gone. Annie met Paul on a speed dating night she'd been dragged to by one of the younger teachers at the primary school she taught at. Dragged maybe isn't exactly correct. Annie was curious to see what kind of sad losers go speed dating. Turns out the man she'd spent the last six years with was one of those sad losers.
“Anything from the buffet car?” A harsh Glaswegian accent tore into her memories.
“No thanks,” Annie smiled politely, “I'm fine.”
The buffet trolley was bundled away as abruptly as it had arrived, leaving Annie to return to her day dreams. She leaned her head onto the train window and watched the urban jungle reincarnate into swirling open countryside of every shade of green. Trees in full leaf were scattered in splendid glory. Annie loved late June. It heralded the long hot summer ahead and opened the door to six glorious weeks of school holidays. This year's primary seven had been a joy to teach and Annie cried like a baby on the last day of term. She'd spent a whole year observing them grow into young adults and prepared them for their new lives in high school. The year hadn't been without its share of heartache. When Liam Kennedy's mother passed away suddenly right before Christmas, Annie fought tooth and nail to pull that boy through his grief. His mum would be so proud of her boy now if she could see him; all ready for big school. Annie knew, of course, the pain of his loss. When Patsy Marshall succumbed to breast cancer when Annie was thirteen, she left behind a devastated husband and heartbroken daughter who were never the same after that.
Another station, closer to the village Annie once called home and another influx and exit of passengers took place. Damien and his copper-stained mother alighted this time, much to Annie's delight. She took her opportunity to glare at the boy as he passed her seat. She was tempted to stick out her tongue but resisted. They were replaced by two elderly ladies, smartly dressed and laden with a variety of shopping bags from big name retailers in the city. The slight flush on their cheeks gave away the glass of wine that accompanied their lunch. Annie grinned when she was reminded of her grandmother, Gladys, and her best friend, Betty Mason. The two women had been best friends for most of their ninety-five years of age. They'd grown up and gone to school together, then volunteered with the women's land army together during World War II. They were quite the force to be reckoned with. Thoughts of her dear grandmother's descent into Alzheimer's disease tinged Annie's memories with sadness. Betty Mason was like an extra gran to Annie growing up. Seeing her again was one of the few things she was looking forward to this weekend. She could already taste Betty's coconut flapjacks and scotch pancakes with lashings of homemade strawberry jam. Annie regretted not grabbing a bite to eat from the buffet car and reached inside her handbag for the bag of cola cubes. She sucked one slowly and tried to find a comfortable position for the rest of her journey. She checked her watch and figured she'd be there by seven o'clock; one hour until she landed back in the place she'd run from twenty years before. The sound of the two elderly women chattering and laughing soothed Annie's anxious mind. Her father said she could stay for the weekend, of course, but Annie sensed his unease. The sum total of their relationship for the past two decades was uncomfortable Christmas dinners she'd cooked for him in the Edinburgh flat she shared with Paul and forced telephone conversations on birthdays. As well as the two cheerful elderly city shoppers, two students boarded the train at their last stop. Well, Annie presumed them to be students. They looked about nineteen, with tattoos and pierced lips and noses. The girl wore her hair in tight braids which Annie quite admired and might be tempted to copy if she was a few years younger. The girl caught Annie's gaze and smiled softly, revealing a small stud pierced through her tongue. That was one piece of jewellery Annie was never tempted by. She flashed the girl a warm smile in return, envious of her happy, light existence. The two young students sat close, their hands entwined, sharing tiny kisses. It must be so good to feel so much in love, Annie mused. There was once, a long time ago, that Annie was giddy and besotted by someone, but not for a long, long time. Yes, she loved Paul; she couldn't deny that, just not the way she'd loved someone else, with her whole being. The buzz from her iPhone interrupted her day dreams. It was a text from Paul saying sorry for rushing off this morning and he hoped she had a great weekend. He asked her to wish Craig and Kate all the best for their big day. He ended with a smiley face and two kisses. Annie wished she was at home right then; ordering pizza from Marco's without having to tell him what she wanted. Marco knew exactly how Annie liked it. Her order was always the same; twelve-inch thin base, tuna, sweet corn, and pineapple with no tomato and only a small sprinkling of mozzarella. It had to be enough to melt but not enough to become chewy. All she had to say was, “Hi Marco, it's Annie.”
He would always reply, “It will be with you in an hour.”
Annie's life in Edinburgh was routine and ordered. She's worked at the same primary school for ten years, and now she found herself hurtling back towards a time when her life was chaotic and disordered. She fiddled with the invitation, spinning it through her fingers before settling her gaze on the name on the front of the envelope: Annie Marshall.
The heat from the sun, still strong outside the train carriage, produced a trickle of sweat across Annie's brow. She wiped the moisture away with the palm of her hand and sniffed. She cleared her throat with a small cough and nibbled her bottom lip. She tapped the envelope on the table and tried to distract herself with the view from the train window. The Scottish Highlands really were remarkable, stunning in fact. She understood completely why so many people relocated there from the hustle and bustle of the city. She slid her finger over the flap of the envelope and removed the card from inside.
David and Susan McDonald
Invite – Annie Marshall
To join them in celebrating the marriage of their daughter, Kate to Craig Roberts
On – Saturday 25th June 2016 at 2 PM
In the Highland Lodge Hotel
Carrlochry.
Annie tapped the card gently on her chin and sighed before stuffing it back where it came from. It would be nice to see Kate again. Leaving her had been the hardest part of her escape. They shared everything then, her and Kate. She really was looking forward to catching up with her oldest friend and seeing her marry her childhood sweetheart after so many years and five children together. Annie would finally get to meet the five children at last. It was just all the other inconvenient truths she hoped to avoid.
6 April 1993
When Betty found me sitting on the school steps I think I'd cried every tear I owned. My eyes stung. She didn't speak when she saw me there. She held out her hand to me and pulled me close to her. She kissed my hair and took me to her cottage. I couldn't say anything to her. I didn't have any words. I was too sad to speak and angry, so very angry.
Dad doesn't understand how I feel about anything anymore. When I mention Mum, he changes the subject. She's only been dead for three months. I miss her every day and would give anything to have her back with us. I told him today that I wished it was him and not Mum who died. That's when I ran out crying. Betty offered me a freshly baked flapjack and made me a hot chocolate. Having Betty was like having an extra granny and she said I'm the granddaughter she always wanted. Betty never got married and has lived in that same cottage all her life. She was even born there. Gran and Betty are like me and Kate, I suppose, best friends since starting school. When I got home, Dad's face was stern but I think Betty must have phoned him while I walked home because he just nodded and forced a half smile when I passed him on my way upstairs to my room.
Mum, why can't you just come back? I need you. I got my first period on Friday. Dad doesn't know yet. Kate's mum gave me some towels and said I can come to her if I need anything else.
Life sucks and I hate it!