I’m your Dom. I need to fix this so you can better serve me.

Sitting at my desk at work, I mindlessly finger the necklace, a gift from Lucian, at my throat. I have emails piling up that I need to respond to, but I can’t get my mind off my current dilemma; I think I’m falling for Lucian. I know I shouldn’t be, given our complicated pasts, but I feel like he’s the first person to ever truly understand me. I’m still in shock that he didn’t call off our contract after learning my secret. Or that he didn’t shy away from my claims of being broken. It seemed to only make him more determined to help me.

I can’t believe that he’s willing to take on my emotional baggage when he can just walk away and find himself another Sub who doesn’t have the same hang-ups. He doesn’t have to waste his time with me, he can have any woman he wants. But it shows that he cares. And I want his help. I need his help. Even if it makes me seem weak. I don’t care.

Still, I’m worried that I’m setting myself up for disappointment. I can feel myself being weak for him. I’m relying on him, and that’s something I don’t do. I feel there’s a good chance Lucian won’t be able to help me and I’ll end up with an aching heart. To add to my insecurities, last night definitely gave me doubts about our future.

I suck in a heavy breath at the memory.

I’d tried to give Lucian a blowjob when it was time for bed, but he claimed he was tired and needed to sleep. He gently brushed my hair away from my face and told me to lie down. I did as I was told, but I hated it. I wanted to accept him at his word, but I couldn’t stop thinking he just didn’t want me because of my problem. Because I’m broken. It took a lot for me to hold myself together and my self-esteem took a blow. I started to think I wasn’t good enough. That he thought I wasn’t good enough for him. And that he’s only trying to help me because he pities me.

I can only hope that it’s all in my head.

Breaking out of my dark thoughts, I let out a soft sigh of frustration as I look at the tons of emails on my computer screen. I’m never gonna get any work done.

Trying to push my situation from my mind, I begin to go about answering emails, starting with the most important ones first. By midday I’m halfway through my workload and I’ve taken a break to type a message to my therapist when Carla nearly breaks her neck bursting into my office. She's holding a newspaper clutched to her chest, her expression animated and excited. As usual, she’s dressed stylishly today in a black pantsuit and cream camisole peeking out from underneath, her hair pulled back into a single braid, bangs covering her forehead, rosy rouge coloring her cheeks and purple shadow frosting her eyelids.

She shakes the paper at me, her chest heaving violently, making me think she’s sprinted all the way up to my office without pausing to take a breath. “You will not believe what’s on the front page of the Daily Observer!” she gasps.

My curiosity piqued, I quickly close out the email that I was typing to my therapist about making an appointment so that Carla doesn’t see. I don’t need her thinking I’m broken, too.

“What’s that?” I ask, standing up to take the paper from Carla. I’m trying to be my normal self, but I just don’t have the peppy outlook I usually do. I’m tired, and my spirits are dampened.

“Just look at it!” wheezes Carla.

I snatch the paper from her hands and flip it around to the first page. A jolt of shock runs through me as my gaze settles on the page and I let out a soft gasp, my eyes going wide. The headline in bold takes my breath away.

Hot, Eligible CEO Bachelor’s new fling!

It’s a picture of me and Lucian on the night we had dinner at the restaurant, embracing and engaged in a heated kiss. Lucian’s hand is on my ass, and my arms are wrapped around his neck. My heart pounds. I know right when it was taken. I remember that moment like it happened only a minute ago.

“Crazy, huh?” Carla breathes next to my ear as she looks at the picture with me, causing me to jump. I was so engrossed with the picture that I forgot that she was even there. “Where the hell were you two at?”

I’m unable to respond, my eyes glued to the picture. A surge of powerful emotion runs through me. I can’t get over how much we look like a couple. Even though it was all supposed to be for show it almost looks... real. Like we really are in love.

My heart does a flip at the thought and I go weak in the knees, confirming what I felt earlier; I’m falling for Lucian. It scares the hell out of me. This, what we have, is fragile. It all hinges upon the fact he wants to fix me. But what happens when he decides I’m not worth the trouble? Or when my contract is up in nine days? My lips draw down into a frown as emotion threatens to overwhelm me.

And what will Lucian think about this? My blood spikes with anxiety. I can’t even begin to think of his reaction. I try to swallow, but it feels like my heart is shoved up my throat and trying to get away from me.

Carla stares at me, noticing my conflicted expression. “What’s wrong?” she asks me, placing her hand on my arm with concern. “Why aren’t you happy?”

I set the paper down on my desk and turn to her, parting my lips to say something, but then feel a lump the size of a golf ball fill my throat, staying my words. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just want this to be as real as this picture looks. I want that more than anything.

“Dah?” Carla says, coming in closer. “Is something wrong? Did Lucian do something to you?”

“No,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “Not at all.” It would be far easier to just tell her my dilemma and not have her guessing at what’s wrong, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to risk telling her and being crushed that she doesn’t understand.

Carla places both her hands on my shoulders and gazes into my eyes. “What is it then, huh? You can tell me.”

No I can’t.

The lump is growing bigger. And I don’t know why. Everything is happening so fast, and I don’t know what to do. Just days ago, I was happy to have finally found someone who could get me off, but now he knows my secret and I think I’m falling for him. Fuck.

Tears well up into my eyes, and I feel like any moment I’m gonna start choking on them.

Seeing the anguish on my face, Carla pulls me into a tight embrace. “C’mere, girl.” She begins patting on my back, not knowing she’s making things worse. “Whatever’s the matter, it’s going to be okay. I’m here for you.”

My throat constricted with emotion, I’m unable to say a word, and can only manage to think my response.

Oh Carla, if only you knew.