Every time I fuck you until you can’t breathe, it’s because I know you need it.

Lucian’s words repeat in my mind as I climb out of his sports car, my breath catching in my throat as I take in the gorgeous view. Holding the door for me, Lucian gives me a boyish grin as a young valet dressed in a black suit and gold vest jogs up to us and hastily greets Lucian with a slight nod, asking him for the keys to the car.

“This is beautiful,” I breathe, turning to Lucian and shaking my head. The valet grabs the keys from Lucian, grinning at the sports car like a kid at Christmas, before running around to the driver’s side and jumping in. “I’ve never been taken to a place like this. Ever.” I turn back and take in the restaurant with awe, admiring the scenic view. The building, which is cut of exquisite grey stone and has gleaming tall glass windows adorning the front, sits back on a terrace overlooking a beautiful lake. Floodlighting brightens the entire area, showcasing every inch of the grandmaster masonry. Intricately designed stamped concrete steps lead up to the entrance, a sparkling water fountain with ambient lighting rests at the center of the plaza, and a fancy balustrade runs up along each side. The full moon looms in the starry night sky, milky white light reflected against the water, making the scene even more romantic.

I watch in wonder as men in expensive suits and ties walk up the steps with women dressed in absolute finery on their arms. The gowns these ladies are wearing look like they cost a fortune, dazzling jewels and all, and it makes me feel more than a little self-conscious.

No wonder Lucian wasn’t pleased by my outfit, I think to myself, glancing down at my outfit that seems drab compared to the others. He’s accustomed to seeing women wearing all this.

Lucian is enjoying my shock, watching me with obvious amusement. “I thought you might like it,” he says, splaying a hand across the small of my back. “But come, I think you’ll enjoy the inside even more.”

Breathless, I allow him to lead me up the steps to the restaurant, and I try to appear confident like all the other women around me. Like I belong on Lucian’s arm. But it’s hard. I can’t stop worrying about people looking at me and thinking that I look out of place. Glancing around, no one seems to be paying us any mind, and the pleasant sounds of the waterfall take the edge off my anxiety.

Unconsciously I reach for Lucian’s hand, wanting to feel security and comfort, and then snatch it back, fearful that I might be crossing the line. Shit. I didn’t mean to do that. But isn’t that what Lucian wants me to do? Pretend I’m his girlfriend? It’s confusing, and my emotions and anxiety are getting the best of me.

I bite my lower lip nervously, glancing over at Lucian. He doesn’t seem to have noticed my misstep and even places his hand on my right hip, guiding me up the last of the steps leading to the terrace.

Inside I’m completely blown away by the ritzy, upscale setting. The high-ceilinged room is a splash of gold and white, filled with luxury seating and high-class booths. There are several crowded bars on either side of the room, manned by attractive bartenders in deluxe suits. Delicate music seems to float to my ears from nowhere and a delightful scented fragrance tickles my nose. The walls are adorned with gold lights made up of gorgeous patterns that blend in with everything else, and on the back wall, the floor-to-ceiling windows provide a breathtaking view of the moonlit lake. The room is filled with the ultra-wealthy, the din of their chatter almost making me dizzy. I take it all in with a sharp breath. The seating, the lighting, the ambience--all of it is done to perfection.

“This is incredible,” I say just above a murmur, unable to find a better word, my nervousness returning. I’ve never been somewhere like this in my entire life, and I feel totally out of my element. I step closer to Lucian and cling to his arm, wishing I could shrink and hide behind him as we move through a crowd of finely dressed couples toward the waiting area.

“I’m happy you like it.” Lucian seems unconcerned with my anxiety and even wraps his arm around my waist as a waiter immediately approaches us. My cheeks redden at how Lucian is acting like I’m his property, and I have to take a moment to remember that he’s doing this for show. I can’t enjoy this too much. I can’t get used to this either.

The waiter nods his head at Lucian, his eyes taking me in for a moment and then going back to Lucian. “Right this way, Mr. Stone. Your reservation is ready.”

The waiter leads us over to a luxurious booth in a secluded corner and I try to walk with confidence on the way over, but I almost trip. A small gasp slips through my lips, and my heart stutters in my chest. Luckily, Lucian hooks me with his arm and keeps me from falling, smoothly guiding me to the table like nothing happened. My heart’s in my throat as I walk the remaining few steps, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I don’t look around to see if anyone saw.

The waiter produces two menus but Lucian politely waves him away as he says, “I already know what we’d like to order.”

“Of course, sir.” Another young man dressed in a crisp black suit quietly fills the crystal globe glasses on our table with water from a pitcher as Lucian orders.

“A bottle of chardonnay to drink, black cod brûlée,” Lucian nods in my direction while passing the menus back, “and ribeye with goat cheese dipped in Meyer lemon honey mustard.”

The waiter slips the menus back into a pouch at his waist, and takes out a pen and pad in one smooth flourish.

I part my lips to say something about Lucian ordering for me, but then close them. He’s still my Dom. The rules have changed slightly, but not really.

“You’ll love it,” Lucian assures me with a small smile, seeing the question in my eyes.

“Of course, sir.” The waiter nods as he scribbles notes on his pad. “Any appetizers?”

Lucian shakes his head. “No, thank you.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can with your drinks. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”

I watch as he walks away, past a few tables of romantic couples dining in luxury and try to relax in my seat. But my nerves have a grip on me. Blowing out a breath, I take a peek around and my stomach tightens even more. I can’t get over the fact that I’m dining with the upper crust of society. Club X had filthy rich diners, but that’s different. There, it’s horny rich men looking to pay money to hook up with women from all socioeconomic backgrounds. Here, everyone’s come to spend a boatload of money on food just because they can.

And I’m probably the only woman in the room who’s here as almost a paid prostitute. The thought is unsettling and makes my stomach turn. I reach for my water, the crystal glass cold in my hand and take a sip.

I nervously finger my silverware, not sure how to act. I feel so anxious, I almost want to get up and leave. Why did Lucian bring me here again? Our contract said nothing about wining and dining with rich people. I thought it was all supposed to be about sex, whips and chains. Maybe this is some sort of test.

Noticing my nervousness, Lucian hooks his finger under my chin, drawing my eyes to him.

“You need to relax, treasure,” he says softly. His eyes are filled with empathy and his concern goes a long way in calming my anxiety. “These people aren’t any better than you are. Trust me on that.” He says his words with such conviction that I actually believe him for a short moment.

Looking at him, I’m reminded again of his words in the car. I respect your needs and your submission, and you do the same for me and my dominance. It’s about trust, respect and communication.

Before I can say anything in return, the waiter comes back, gently setting our wine glasses down in front of us one by one and pouring a small amount of the wine in Lucian’s glass.

Lucian motions for him to continue pouring without taking a sip. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” the waiter asks as he finishes pouring the wine and then gently sets the bottle on the table.

“No,” Lucian replies. “Thank you.”

A moment passes in silence. Lucian grabs his glass of wine and relaxes in his seat. I envy him. He seems so at ease in this setting, so used to being surrounded by such awesome wealth.

“So how did you find out about Club X?” Lucian asks suddenly, looking at me with an intensity that makes me forget about all my worries for a moment and causes a shiver to run down my spine. Although I’m still slightly on edge, I love the way he’s looking at me; like I’m the only one in the room. And seeing as how we’re surrounded by beautiful, wealthy-looking women that make me feel insecure, I feel pretty fucking special right about now.

I pause for a moment, lowering my gaze, my skin pricking at the soft emotions swelling my breasts. I’m unsure if I should tell him how Carla approached me and swore me to secrecy, but I decide there’s little harm. He’s a member of Club X, not an outsider. I won’t be revealing anything about the club he doesn’t already know. “My friend, Carla, told me about it one day out of the blue,” I say softly.

Lucian arches a brow, his fingers running along the stem of his glass. “Any particular reason?”

I blush slightly at the memory, but I’m glad that we’re talking. The conversation is helping me relax, and focusing on Lucian is making it easy to tune out the people around me. “She invited me because she said she could tell I’d like it. She said I was an obvious Submissive and that I’d enjoy it.”

Lucian takes a sip of his chardonnay, still looking at me in a way that makes my skin prickle. “So, you said your friend’s name is Carla?”

“Yes,” I reply. “Her Dom is named Bruce, and he’s actually her boyfriend.” Including that small bit of information makes my blood heat with insecurity. She’s more to him than I am to Lucian. I have to look away from Lucian and clear my throat before continuing. “I don’t know if you know him or not.”

A thoughtful expression graces Lucian’s handsome face. “Hmm. Can’t say that I’ve heard of those two before, and I usually know who the couples are within the club.” Lucian’s eyes grow distant and I know he’s thinking about some event in the past, something that troubles him because his demeanor has shifted. “But then again, I’ve been away from the club for a while.”

I clear my throat and ask, “Will we be going back to the club anytime soon?”

“If you’d like, we can.” He straightens in his seat and clears his throat, the hard lines on his face softening. “In fact, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”

“About what?” I ask curiously.

“I think it might be beneficial for you to be around other couples, get used to how they interact. It’ll help you with training.”

I nervously half smile. I’m anxious about trying something outside my safe zone, and I prefer the privacy of Lucian’s playroom, but I’m anxious to see more of the club. “I think so, too,” I agree, a small thrill running through me.

Lucian seems pleased at my response and he once again gives me that look that makes my skin prick. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that?”

I blush furiously, my heart doing backflips at his unabashed praise. That compliment was totally unexpected. Lucian’s really making me feel like that we actually are a couple, even though this is supposed to be pretend. I have to shake my head and remind myself that this isn’t real. It’s all make-believe. “Thank you,” I say in a soft voice, a shy smile on my lips.

Lucian shakes his head. “No thanks needed here. So why is it that you decided to enter the auction?”

I freeze as his question triggers those dark memories that are always waiting for the right moment to pounce. The very reasons that drove me to Club X. Several painful images flash in front of my face and I have to grip the edges of the table to keep my composure. I lower my gaze, breathing deeply, slowly, fighting to push those horrible images away. Not here. Not now. Go the fuck away.

When I look up, Lucian is staring at me with concern in his eyes and my heart is suddenly aching for him. Maybe I should just be open with him. Doesn’t he have the right to know? A powerful urge presses down on my chest, bidding me to tell him everything.

I respect your needs and your submission, and you do the same for me and my dominance. It’s about trust, respect and communication.

His words bear heavy on my conscience. If I truly want our relationship and contract to be successful, shouldn’t I be truthful with him and let him know who he’s really dealing with? Isn’t that what trust is all about?

“Treasure?” Lucian’s deep voice snaps me to attention.

I open my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but no words come out. I can’t bring myself to say it, can’t bring myself to reveal my dark secret. A secret that could possibly push Lucian away. Fuck. I feel ashamed. I wish this wasn’t so fucking awkward, too.

I give Lucian a light, fraudulent smile and shrug. “I don’t know... I just... wanted to try it.” I feel shitty for lying, and it’s so fucking obvious that I am, but what else can I do? I’m not telling Lucian about my past. At least not right now. I don’t want to mess up our arrangement in any way. It’s just sex. And it’s over in less than a month. I don’t owe him anything more.

Lucian peers at me, his eyes piercing me with their skepticism. “Are you sure there isn’t something else you aren’t telling me?”

I almost fold beneath his questioning gaze, my heart hammering in my chest. It’s funny how the tables turn. A minute ago I was prying into his past, but now he’s prying into mine. And he didn’t open up to me. The reminder hardens my resolve. I duck my head, tearing my eyes from his and look down into my glass of water. “I’m sure,” I repeat firmly, injecting as much strength into my voice as possible to get him off my back.

It’s about trust, respect and communication, his words scream in my head, making me feel even more like shit.

Lucian stares at me intently, looking like he wants to press the issue, but then he straightens, a smile curling the corner of his lips as he takes a sip of his chardonnay. I relax slightly, realizing he’s letting me off the hook. Thank God. He’s definitely not buying my lie, though, and for some reason he seems content on letting me get away with it. For now.

A feeling of relief flows through me when the waiter returns with our food balanced in each hand. My stomach quietly rumbles as the rich aroma fills my nostrils and he sets the plates down in front of us.

“Anything else, sir?” the waiter asks.

“No, thank you,” Lucian’s quick to reply.

“Enjoy,” he says. And with a flash of a smile, the waiter’s gone.

Grabbing my heavy fork, I take a bite of the tender meat dipped in sauce, and my eyes widen as the sweet tangy flavor fills my mouth. Damn. Lucian is right.

“This is delicious,” I remark, waiting for Lucian’s gaze to meet mine. “Thank you.” I hope he knows how serious I am.

Lucian grins. “I knew you would like it,” he says confidently.

“So how did you become the CEO of your company?” I ask after a few more delicious bites. Having read the article about his rise to success, I pretty much know what Lucian is going to say, but I’d like to hear him tell it. I figure now is a good time as ever to hopefully turn this date around and focus on something that will lighten the mood.

Lucian eyes me. “How did you know I was CEO? Much less own my own company?” There’s a bit of humor in his voice. I’m sure he knows I cyberstalked him.

I freeze mid-bite, my mind racing with an explanation other than the obvious. Fuck. Lucian never told me what he did, and I never asked. Nor was there any mention of his occupation in the contract. I open my mouth to say, “I just assumed that,” but then snap my lips shut, feeling a bite of shame. It’s one thing to tell a lie because you’re hiding something too personal to share, it’s another to tell one to cover something harmless.

A blush reddening my cheeks, I sheepishly admit, “I looked you up on the net.”

I brace myself, half expecting Lucian to go into a rage for my intrusion on his privacy, but he just chuckles. “I was sure you had, my sweet treasure,” he says. “I’d do the same thing if I were in your shoes. Hell, it’s the smart thing to do. I would never advise anyone to enter into a contract with a stranger without knowing something about them, especially someone you’d be entrusting with your safety.”

I’m relieved that Lucian hasn’t taken offense to my prying. For some reason, I keep waiting for him to punish me for any blunders. It’s like the line is blurring between Dom Lucian and real Lucian. I don’t know which one I’m talking to. “One thing the articles I read kept going on about was how young you were to head a successful startup,” I add. “That’s impressive.”

Lucian nods. “I had some help from a friend. He’s a silent partner now.”

“What about your family?” I ask. “Did you come from,” I wave my hand in the direction of the other guests, “this?” I don’t know how to word it.

“No,” Lucian says simply. “I’m from a blue collar family.” The ease in his voice is gone, and I can tell I’ve struck a nerve. “They’re dead to me now,” he says quietly.

I sit there awkwardly, frustrated that we somehow keep making each other upset, but not quite knowing what to do. The anger in Lucian’s voice... it’s raw. There’s pain there. And pain is an emotion I’m well accustomed to.

Moved by emotion and instinct, I swallow back a lump in my throat, and reach over and place my hand atop of his. His gaze drops to where our hands are joined, and my heartbeat slows. For an instant, I fear I’ve crossed the line. But he surprises me by giving me a glimpse of a smile and running his thumb gently over the back of my hand.

I tell him softly, my voice filled with empathy, my eyes finding his, “Sometimes family can do you worse than a person on the street would.”

Trust me, I should know, I think to myself as those dark images threaten to come back. Nausea twists my stomach, and I’m angry at myself for even thinking about them right now.

My words seem to have a profound effect on Lucian because he visibly relaxes in his chair. “Thank you,” he says warmly to me. He pauses and takes a deep breath, then lets out an explosive sigh. “And there’s something else, too.”

My heart jumps in my chest. Maybe he’s about to reveal something. “What’s that?”

“I was going through a divorce at the same time,” he forces out.

I raise my eyebrows, surprised he would bring this up, but I’m hopeful that I’ll find out what caused it and maybe find out what kind of man Lucian is.

Lucian nods, his eyes burning with anger and a hint of sadness. “It wasn’t pleasant.”

I lean forward slightly. “Did it have anything to do with…” I trail off, but I know he gets my meaning, though I feel like I’m once again walking on the edge by prying where I shouldn’t. Yet, I can’t help myself.

Lucian is quiet for a moment, digesting my question. Finally, he shakes his head. “No. My ex was into the same lifestyle, actually. We both enjoyed it.” He huffs out a dry, humorless chuckle. “She craved the money more.”

Damn. Why do I keep bringing these things up? “I don’t know what to say,” I say slowly.

“There’s nothing for you to say,” Lucian says dismissively. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“Well, I feel awful for even having brought it up. Sorry I asked.”

Lucian waves my apology away again. “What's done is done.” He looks at me, his eyes assessing me in a way that makes me feel fuzzy inside. “I’d rather focus on the here and now.”

Unable to take his gaze, a blush comes to my cheeks and I lower my head.

“Look at me,” Lucian commands.

I raise my eyes, my cheeks burning all the hotter. “Sir?” Crap. Why do I keep doing that?

“Lucian,” he says firmly.

“Lucian,” I repeat.

Fingering his wine glass, Lucian studies me, a slight smile on his lips and my skin pricks at the emotion that grips my chest. I recognize the feeling and it makes me nervous. Lucian said this was all for show, but why do I keep feeling like it’s something more?

I need to just focus on the sex, I repeat to myself, because that’s all this is. For thirty days.

“Would you like to go for a walk after dinner?” Lucian asks, his beautiful eyes still focused on me. “There’s a cobblestone trail that leads to a bridge overlooking the water. On a night like this, I’m sure you’ll love it.” He pauses a moment, glancing at my blouse before adding, “I’ll have a coat brought for you.”

I pause, thinking, No, what I want you to do is take me back to your place and make me beg for that big fat cock, but I only feel more confused. I’m not sure what’s to gain from taking a walk as a couple, if it’s not supposed to be real. I thought he just wanted to show me off in public and then whisk me back away into privacy.

I part my lips, feeling an urge to decline. I’m already having trouble separating my sexual energy from my emotions and Lucian is sending me mixed signals, making it worse. But at the same time, I’m scared of angering him. He’s a man that won’t be denied, and I still feel like I’m his Sub, even out in public. “Yes,” I reply dutifully, flashing a weak smile, my cheeks turning red yet again. “I would love that.”

I don’t miss the satisfaction that flashes in Lucian’s eyes. “Good.”

We continue eating our meal, our conversation turning to lighter things, and despite my nervousness, I find myself relaxing. Lucian’s charm makes me feel at ease and he’s showing a tender side of himself that I didn’t think he possessed. Several times throughout the meal, I have to go back to reminding myself that he’s just doing this for show and that he doesn’t care one way or another about me, except for being his paid sex toy.

Still, I’m so charmed by his behavior, I find myself wondering if it would be better to just tell him the truth. Outside of the playroom, he seems like such a nice guy, and I feel guilty about lying even more now after hearing the story about his ex. Maybe disclosing the truth would improve my experience as his Sub instead of negatively impacting it.

If only I had the courage to find out.

Seeing my distressed expression, Lucian asks, “Something you want to tell me?”

Anxiety crushes my stomach as I look into Lucian’s eyes. He’s been so gracious to me tonight, even if it wasn’t real, revealing things that he didn’t have to share with me. But as much as I want to, I don’t think I can bring myself to tell him. I feel like he wouldn't understand. How could he? Being a Dom is just a lifestyle to him, but being a Sub is a need for me.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I shake my head, plaster a fake smile on my face, and answer, “No… I was just thinking I didn’t save room for dessert.”