Alex’s face paled. “I didn’t mean you, Emmeline. You must believe me.”
“Sweet God, how you must be laughing at me.”
“Em—”
He tried to take her hand, but she backed away from him.
“I even offered myself to you! You hardly needed to try to compromise me.”
“You weren’t part of the wager,” he said, stepping toward her. “In fact, you stood in the way of it. And I was intrigued, damn it.”
“Then why didn’t you change the wager to me?”
His silence was her answer.
“You wanted to, didn’t you?” she said, forcing a laugh even as everything in her seemed to die. “I was much easier than my sister.”
“If that’s all it was, I could have ended the wager long ago. I had already kissed your sister, but I didn’t tell Edmund.”
“Then it must be because you wanted to finish what you started.”
“No, because I wanted to be with you!”
She covered her mouth with her hand, feeling tears well in her eyes and fall down her cheeks. “Don’t! Don’t lie to make this easier on yourself.”
Alex took hold of her shoulders and pulled her closer. “I am not lying.”
She looked up into the face of a man who could seduce women as a game. Just when she saw a better side of him, he revealed a new low. Everything everyone said about him was true, and she had foolishly thought only she understood him. But he’d been using her and her sister as an amusing diversion.
In trying to protect her sister from hurt, she had opened herself up to despair and humiliation. She couldn’t look at him anymore.
“Let me go,” she whispered.
For a moment she almost wished he’d disobey her, so she could slap him. But he released her.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“Edmund can escort me home.” She couldn’t look back at him. “I don’t ever want to see you again.”
The door slammed shut and Alex flinched. In his mind he saw Emmeline’s face again—her shock and disappointment turning into horror—and he felt sick inside.
How had a foolish game ended up causing so much harm? Why had he not seen what the repercussions would be?
Because he was a selfish fool, who thought only of his own pleasure. He had never imagined the desperation of needing to explain himself. He had wanted Emmeline’s understanding—only to find that it was too late.
He told himself it was better this way. What did he think would come of this, after all? Now he could pay off his debts, go back to his mistress, and live the life he was good at.
Then why did the coming days seem so bleak, so—lonely? How had he come to depend on Emmeline’s presence?
A sennight passed, and Emmeline began to breathe easier. Her father and the servants kept quiet about her adventure with Alex, and her reputation remained intact. Blythe didn’t need her anymore; she had more suitors than ever, and Maxwell was a frequent visitor. Emmeline tried to make her life as it used to be, even attending meetings at Whitehall.
But every night she sobbed alone in her room until her chest ached. Surely she could cry away the emptiness she felt. How could she miss Alex so desperately, after he’d made a fool of her?
Eight days had passed since she’d last seen him, and that night she sat alone in her chamber, looking out the window over the gardens toward the Thames. Her throat was raw from crying. In the distance she could see the wherries ferrying passengers by lantern light.
She heard a knock at the door and ignored it, so whoever it was would think she was asleep. But the door creaked open.
“Emmy?”
She quickly wiped the tears from her face and donned a stiff smile before facing Blythe. “Why dearest, you should be in bed. ’Tis late.”
Blythe held a candle that illuminated her concern. “You’ve said more than once that you don’t want to talk, but I just can’t pass by your chamber and hear you crying and do nothing. Emmy, please, talk to me!”
Emmeline shook her head as she stood up. “There’s nothing to say. I’ve made a fool of myself and I just need to recover from it. ’Tis anger causing these tears.”
“I don’t believe you,” Blythe said softly, coming forward to take Emmeline’s hand. “You miss him.”
She bit her lip, surprised that she even had tears left to flood her eyes. “I refuse to miss him. He is not worthy of that.”
“You don’t mean that. I agree that the wager was an inconsiderate thing to do, but I was not hurt by it.”
But I was, Emmeline thought. She hadn’t told her sister everything, how Alex had tried to seduce her, and how she’d nearly given in. She would never be able to put her humiliation into words.
“You’re too close to see it clearly,” Blythe continued. “Alex wanted to be with you, not me. Everything he did was meant to give you a reason to see him. You cannot fault him for that.”
“You don’t understand men like him,” Emmeline said. “There was only one reason he wanted to be near me.”
“I don’t believe that. It’s been months, Emmy. He could have found what you’re implying quite easily, with any of his old mistresses. But he didn’t.”
“How could you know such a thing?” she demanded, aghast that she was having such a conversation with her innocent sister.
“I asked Maxwell to find out for me.”
“What!”
“I privately told him that I thought Alex was interested in you, and he agreed. Then he went off to speak to Alex’s acquaintances. Believe me, Maxwell can be very circumspect. He said that Alex has not acted like himself for many months. The places he used to frequent, well, he just has not had time to visit them. He’s been too busy—with you.”
Emmeline opened her mouth, but could think of nothing to say. Could Blythe be right? Yet it was so painful to hope.
“Dearest, I will think about what you said.” Emmeline squeezed the girl’s hand and let go, attempting a smile. “I don’t know if I can get used to you being so grown up and wise.”
Blythe kissed her cheek and walked to the door. “If I am so, then it is all because of you, Emmy. Sleep well.”
Early the next day, Emmeline’s maid handed her a missive from Alex’s mother. She stared at the parchment in surprise, then felt foreboding when she was told the coachman was waiting for an answer. She hadn’t known that Lady Thornton had returned from Wight. The last letter she’d received from the countess had mentioned no travel plans. What could she have to say—unless something had happened to Alex?
She quickly broke open the wax seal and read the letter. It was not Alex who was in trouble—it was his brother, Spencer. The viscount had escorted his mother back to London after her visit with her grandson, and last evening he had disappeared, leaving his horse to return home without him. Lady Thornton said Alex suspected the Langston brothers again, and she thought Emmeline would want to know.
Emmeline felt not a moment of doubt about what she would do.
She was going to Alex.
She ran up to her chamber to dress. In the flurry of activity she felt strangely removed, even amazed. What else could her certainty mean, except that she must be in love with him?
She had always thought that love would come to her like shooting stars, or the greatest orchestration of music. Instead, during the mundane task of fastening her cloak, she knew with a certainty that being with Alex was all that mattered, that she loved him. All she could think about was the Alex who had dreamed of modernization instead of dissipation when he’d played the viscount, the Alex who felt he always came in second in his family. Later, she would deal with discovering whether he loved her in return.
Emmeline barely remembered the coach ride to Thornton Manor. She jumped out before the coach had quite stopped and raced up the steps in the rain, flinging open the door instead of knocking. A surprised servant fell back, and Emmeline barreled past him, saying, “Where is Sir Alexander?”
“In the withdrawing chamber, my lady,” the servant answered. “May I take your—”
But she pushed open the door and came to a stop at the threshold. Lady Thornton, at the window, but gave her a welcoming smile. Alex and Edmund were hunched over a paper-strewn desk. Neither saw her.
“Damn, but you should have tried to get to Elizabeth sooner,” Alex was saying.
“I visited every day, but she refused to see me!” Edmund protested.
“You could have climbed into her chamber at night.”
“And make her think that I didn’t want to marry her honorably by the light of day? But why take Spencer?”
“Because they think he’s me! Haven’t they proven their stupidity over and over again? Just let me explain my plan.”
Emmeline sank into a chair beside the door and simply watched Alex. He looked tired, with dark circles beneath his eyes, as if he’d spent the week as sleepless as she had. Yet his voice was cool and precise as he explained his plan to invade the Langston household with a score of men. He showed no desperation, only the confidence of an intelligent man who knew without a doubt that he would succeed at whatever he did.
Emmeline could only watch, feeling the enormity of her love for him swell in her chest. The jokes he reserved for when things were too emotionally confusing were gone—he was serious and focused. Would it always be like this? Would she always find a new, deeper Alex to love?
As she contemplated her feelings, a man who looked just like Alex walked into the withdrawing room. As she looked up, he smiled down at her and took off his rain-spattered cloak.
It was Spencer, alive and unharmed!
He held a finger to his lips, a devilish glint in his eye reminiscent of Alex. She could only gape as relief made her sag back in the chair. He casually strolled toward the two men still pondering their plans at the desk. With his hands behind his back, he studied them.
Alex was talking to Edmund. “I’ll go in the main door, so they’ll be confused. After all, they think they have me. I want you to enter through the back, and try to keep hidden until you see that I need you.”
Spencer cleared his throat. “And what would you like me to do?”
“You go around to the—” Alex broke off and swiftly straightened. “Spence!”
Lady Thornton let out a glad cry and rushed to hug her son. Emmeline saw the deep relief Alex quickly covered, and the easygoing grin that replaced it. Before her eyes he turned back into scandalous Alex Thornton.
He clasped Spencer’s hand. “Well, I’m glad I don’t have to exert myself. It’s been so long, I was certain I’d forgotten how to use a sword.”
Lady Thornton dabbed at her eyes, even as she kept Spencer’s arm about her shoulders. “Tell us how you escaped, my son.”
“’Tis hardly a tale worth telling,” Spencer answered, as he accepted a goblet of wine from Edmund. “Of course they wouldn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t you. They were inept and didn’t think to post a guard after they’d tied me up and left me in a room. It was rather easy to get away after that.”
As the three men congratulated each other, Lady Thornton called out, “Lady Emmeline! Please come join us.”
Emmeline rose to her feet as the men turned to stare at her. Alex’s black eyes seemed to light from within for a moment, then his smile faded.
“Lady Emmeline,” he said, nodding too courteously to her. “Forgive me for not greeting you earlier.”
“I did not want to disturb you,” she said, coming forward. “But now you could introduce me to your brother.”
He seemed to blink at her in surprise, then did as she asked. “Spence, this is Lady Emmeline Prescott. Lady Emmeline, my brother, Lord Thornton.”
“My lord,” she said, curtsying, all the while keeping her gaze locked with Alex’s. “I’m glad to see you have returned safely home.”
“How did you know about the kidnapping?” Alex asked.
“Lady Thornton sent me a missive.”
He glanced sharply at his mother, who merely smiled innocently at him and said, “Now that she’s here, she can enjoy a celebratory dinner with us. Would you stay, Lady Emmeline?”
Alex said, “I’m sure she won’t want—”
“I would enjoy that,” Emmeline interrupted.
He studied her as she allowed Spencer to lead her into the dining chamber. Let him think what he would. She didn’t know what she meant to do about Alex Thornton yet, but she was not about to let him go easily.