“I should have never left,” he mumbles into my ear. I’m on my side as he absently strokes my baby bump. He can’t seem to stop touching it. “I didn’t want to. I got cornered into it once I found out who was going to be running the mission if I didn’t. I can’t give you all the details, but I’ll give you some.” He pauses for a second. “That’s a lie. I’ll tell you all of it if you ask.”

“No, tell me what you can.”

“My sweet girl, never wanting anyone to get into any trouble.” He kisses me below my ear and continues.

“Young guy, just got married, twin girls on the way. Kid is still wet behind his ears for what they wanted him to do. I trained him. Knew he wasn’t ready for something like this, but they were going to send him anyway, so I volunteered. I thought I’d be fine. In and out. Haven’t done a mission since I got Maggie, but I thought one would be fine. Never again. I even told them that. This was it.”

He lets out a long breath and kisses me below the ear again.

“When I was headed over there, I’d realized I’d messed up. I kept picturing you like I always do when I’m not with you, and I was thinking about the last time I’d seen you, telling you that I had to leave for a few days. That was the moment that came to mind, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. You had a lost, worried look on your face. I wanted to kick my own ass for not seeing it. Of course you had that look. I’d spent months trying to make you fall in love with me, months trying to get you to see what family was really like, and then I went and left. You were thinking God knows what, thinking I left you so easily when I knew losing people is what you’re most scared of, why you’ve been fighting us coming out. You didn’t want to hurt anyone or lose anyone. You want everyone else to be happy.”

He rubs his nose against me. “God, sweet girl, I’m so sorry for that. But I knew in that moment that I had to leave my job as soon I got back. I couldn’t be in a place to even chance it. Chance being roped into a mission or whatever might happen. Chance ever leaving your side because I want to give you that. I want you to know I will always be at your side. I will never leave you.”

I roll, turning to look at him.

“I don’t—”

He cuts me off, taking my mouth in a hard kiss.

“Don’t say some crap about you should be stronger or that I should keep my job. I don’t want the job. I felt relief about leaving and about spending my time with you, being a dad again, coming home and making you finally tell everyone what was happening with us, starting a new journey in life.”

I reach up and run my fingers through his hair.

“You’re my sweetness, Alice. I love how soft and caring you are. I love that when I get a hold of you that you melt into me. I love that you want to make everyone happy. I don’t want to change that about you. I can be strong if you can be our sweet. I can protect it because a sweetness like yours should be protected.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He leans in, giving me another kiss.

“Tell me the rest.”

“Not much to tell really. Got stuck out in the middle of nowhere and spent my days thinking about you to get me through, thinking of coming home to you, thinking what would happen if I didn’t.” He rubs my belly. “I’ve missed so much already.” He slides down my body to my baby bump. “You’ve been giving your mom a hard time while I was gone.” He kisses me there. I know I won’t tell him how rough it’s been. We both fought our own battle while he was away, and I can see the guilt is still riding him. I won’t give him any more.

“No, he’s perfect.”

His eyes fly from my belly to meet my gaze.

“It’s a boy?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, then I bet you were a handful while I was away, and your mama won’t tell me. Probably just say you were a little angel.”

I smile at that because it’s true.

“Your mommy is stronger than she knows. One has to be strong after going through so much rough. Having the world treat her like it doesn’t care about her for most of her life and still be so sweet, still be so kind and put everyone first above herself—most people go hard. Not your mommy, though. She’s strong in ways where others would fall.”

My eyes fill and a tear escapes. “I don’t know how we got so lucky to get her, but we’ll never let her go, will we, little guy? We’ll show her how much she means to us because she’s our world.”