Ziggy had told me to prepare for the worst, and that was exactly the attitude I adopted going back to the condo. Prepped for the silent treatment, even the ‘I don’t think we should live together’ speech, what I didn’t expect were tears – colossal, sobbing tears.

I let my bag drop, quickstepping to the lounge, where Billie’s head was buried in her hands.

‘Billie, what’s wrong?’

She was so upset. I had never seen her like this before; had someone died? There was no blood, no chopping accident in the kitchen – what could it be?

Billie lowered her hands; shaking her head, she looked at me and started to laugh, then cry again, and laugh some more. She looked like a mad woman.

‘Billie, you’re scaring me.’

She wiped her eyes, trying to contain herself before she gripped my hands tightly and looked me straight in the eyes.

‘Abby, I got a job!’

‘Um, okay?’

‘No, more than okay – I got THE job, a make-up job, at the studio, from the person you met last night.’

‘What?’

‘I called him and he wanted to meet me straightaway. We spoke for over an hour, he gave me a tour, I did a test run on an actress, and then he said the job is mine if I want it!’

‘Billie, oh my God!’ I wrapped my arms around her; the universe might not have given me a sign, but this was even better. My best friend, who had been trying so hard for so long, had finally landed a proper gig. In the space of a moment I had gone from never having seen her so upset, to never having seen her so happy.

‘Thank you, Abby, thank you so much. I’m so sorry about last night, the things I said were way out of line and so not true.’

‘I’m sorry, too. I can’t even imagine how weird it must have been seeing me and Jay together.’

An awkward silence settled between us, which told me exactly how awkward it had been. I cleared my throat as a means to break the long pause.

‘Well, hey, you got a job! And not just any job, but THE job! When do you start?’

‘Monday!’ Billie squealed, and I squealed too, laughing like lunatics and squeezing each other.

‘We have to celebrate!’ I said, jumping to my feet and ducking to the fridge, retrieving two lame bottles of water. I handed one to Billie, who eyed it sceptically.

‘Aah, I think we have two very different definitions of what celebrating is.’

‘Think of it as a public service announcement; I wish someone had told me to drink plenty of fluids before I went out on the town last night.’

‘You are a gem!’ Billie took the bottle and took a deep swig, gasping before something seemingly horrifying occurred to her. ‘Oh shit.’

‘What?’

Her shoulders slumped. ‘How am I going to tell Jay?’

The mere mention of his name tensed my muscles. ‘What? Tell him you have your dream job, simple.’

Billie shook her head. ‘There is nothing simple about it. I’ve always prided myself on being the reliable one, the one staff member he could count on. He is going to be so pissed.’

‘He’ll get over it,’ I said, as if I really knew Jay, which of course I didn’t; sure, I’d had his tongue inside my mouth, but that didn’t mean I knew him. I had seen a few glimpses of niceness, but I had also seen plenty of the not-so-nice side of him.

I thought for a moment. ‘Are you working tonight?’

‘Nope.’

‘Will Jay be at the Saloon?’

‘I think so.’

‘Well, how would you feel about celebrating at the Saloon?’

‘Are you serious?’

‘I know it’s probably the last place you want to be, but trust me.’

‘It’s not the place – I love going there – I just … he is going to be so mad.’

‘Most likely, but I think I have a plan.’

‘Oh God, should I be scared?’

‘No, but I probably should be.’

And as I took a deep swig of my own water, I reflected on my plan. No, I wasn’t scared, I was damn well terrified.

So, my grand plan was more of a loose idea. I had no ample amount of energy, despite swallowing fluids and aspirin all afternoon. I did, however, have an obligation as Billie’s friend to be her wing woman if she needed me to be. There was, I won’t deny it, some butterfly action in my stomach at the thought of seeing Jay again. Before all this, I had tried to think of a solid excuse to cross his path, and now I had it. I would go to the Saloon Bar and support Billie in handing in her resignation; after all, it was kind of my fault – not that I was sorry, and I was sure Jay wouldn’t be either. They had been friends for years, surely he would understand her need to follow her dreams. Oh, wait, that’s right: Jay didn’t believe in those things, even if he had helped me network the other night. Was there ever a more confusing man? I think not.

Getting ready, I pulled my hair from my ponytail; my headache wasn’t quite ready for an ‘up do’ right now, and my stomach wasn’t ready for a figure-hugging outfit. No, tonight I needed comfortable casual, so much so that I was tempted to borrow a kaftan from Veronica. Instead I chose a light shirt dress, and definitely underwear!

It was a mild summer evening so we decided to walk. After nearly a month in LA, I was beginning to see the other side of my neighbourhood. While there were celebrity spottings and nightclub openings, there was also a normal side to living here, the run-of-the-mill stuff that happened all over the world. People still did their food shopping, loads at the laundromat and prescription refills; they just happened to do it in the proximity of the epicentre of the movie industry. Walking past a street performer knocking out a tune on some empty soy sauce bottles, then a man reclining on a rubbish bin, who gave sass to anyone who wanted to throw away their garbage, I realised that this was a town of contradictions. You never knew exactly what you were going to get. I liked the absurdity of it all.

‘So, Jay, huh?’

My attention snapped from the graffiti on the bent and broken fence we passed to Billie, who looked at me expectantly. I knew this was coming. I had coasted through the day without mention of last night, riding the excitement of Billie’s good news, but now, walking in the dusky evening towards the Strip, I finally had to face the music.

‘It wasn’t a big deal. Nothing much happened.’ It felt like a huge lie but, unlike some women, I wasn’t comfortable sharing stories of my sex-capades with the hot boy next door over cocktails. I had never been that kind of person and I wasn’t going to start now, especially not with Billie, who knew both of us so well. It just felt weird.

‘Well, he’s a good guy.’

‘Says the girl who is terrified of telling him she’s quitting,’ I mused.

‘I’m not terrified, I’m just … I don’t want to let him down. He’s been so good to me. And I guess there’s this part of me that is scared of change.’

‘Change is good! And he’ll understand. If he doesn’t, then he really needs to get out of LA and stop being so sensitive.’

‘I think everyone in LA is well versed in rejection; you don’t have to be an actor to feel it. Apartment applications, job interviews, dating – it’s all rather brutal. I mean, it’s one the biggest cities in the world and there’s so much competition.’

Billie’s words felt like a knife twisting in my stomach. I was always about running my own race, convincing myself that ‘I got this’. Despite Billie’s and Ziggy’s warnings, I was telling myself that the role of Annika was mine; I was born to play it. But, thinking realistically, how many other hopefuls were currently telling themselves the same thing? Girls who hadn’t got a dodgy spray tan and then got drunk and hooked up with the boy next door. No, there were probably trained professionals with real American accents who were up for the role, taking it far more seriously than I was.

Walking to the Saloon Bar in the hope of seeing Jay, I had an overwhelming desire to turn back and go home but, glancing at Billie, I knew I wouldn’t. She was next-level stressing, rubbing her hands on her jeans and taking slow, deep breaths as our feet landed on the Strip.

‘Billie, seriously, you have nothing to worry about.’ And I truly believed it. She had landed her dream role, her next adventure was just about to begin, and I hoped against hope that I wouldn’t be far behind her.

But as we neared the corner, spotting the Saloon Bar in the distance, my plan in my mind, I couldn’t help but feel that what I was about to do was a major step back.

Sure, change was good, but this time, for me, I wasn’t so sure.