Moving to Hollywood to pursue acting was a giant cliché; okay, I got that. But I never really expected it to be this hard – I know, another cliché. The competition was fierce and the market was oversaturated. Today’s line-up was for the beer commercial that Ziggy had promised and – as Jay had predicted – that didn’t require a script, simply ‘a certain look’. I had felt dirty ‘auditioning’, which meant merely standing before a panel of men and being looked up and down, judged solely on my appearance.
Ziggy had lined it up because it was a good brand and a way to build my stateside exposure. If, by chance, the commercial landed at the Super Bowl, then maybe it would be worth the ego hit the audition promised. Though, staring up at the flickering fluorescent light of the seventies’ veneer-panelled office building, I seriously doubted this commercial would be making it anywhere near the Super Bowl.
As I walked to the bus stop, I wondered what Ziggy was thinking. Was she just out to find me a paying job, no matter the moral turpitude? Was this what I had to look forward to, a starving actor lining up for whatever came my way? Worse still, what if I couldn’t even land a non-speaking role? What would that say about me? I had thrown myself into my acting lessons, and my American accent, according to Ray, was almost convincing, but maybe it was all for nothing.
Billie and I were like ships in the night most days. She was thriving at her job, which saw her on location for much of the week, and it was wonderful to see her so happy. We never touched on our conversation again; we were clearly never going to see eye-to-eye, and that was fine. I had always been adamant that my relationship with Jay would not affect our friendship, but it kind of did. Maybe if I hadn’t been so self-centred from the get-go there wouldn’t be the underlying strain we had between us now. It was one of the many things I wished I could go back and change.
Sienna was a surprise package: she’d eschewed the superficial bullshit of the #LAfamily and come down to earth – I mean don’t get me wrong, she still had her bitchy moments, but she was learning not to be so judgey. On the days we both had free, we were bona fide tourists together, exploring everything from Malibu beachfront wine tastings to improv shows downtown. After her disastrous, and much-publicised, break-up with Leon, and my whatever-it-was with Jay, we made sure to keep each other busy.
A couple of weeks had passed, but my failings still felt very raw.
‘Abby, you can’t give up – you are going to be a superstar!’
I laughed, my feet resting on the wrought-iron railing of my balcony. ‘I don’t feel like much of a superstar; anyway, that’s not what it’s about.’
‘Then why the crazy talk of quitting?’
‘Not quitting, I just don’t think LA is for me. I’m not being emo about it, but life is so short, so why not explore other options and find something that feels right?’
‘You had something that felt right,’ Sienna murmured to herself before she took a drink.
‘Do. Not. Say the “J” word.’
‘Have you seen him?’
I had been good, locking my balcony door and pulling the curtains across to avoid the spectacle of Jay’s late-night laps. On the third night, however, I broke, peeking through the curtain and opening the door, only to find he wasn’t there. He’d not been there any night since, either.
I always knew when his car was out front and, when it was, a part of me hoped that I might bump into him on the stairs or in the breezeway, but it was pretty clear that he was avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him.
‘Nope, he must be pretty taken up with work,’ I shrugged, ready to move on from the forbidden subject. I certainly wouldn’t be discussing the fact that I had been secretly YouTubing episodes of Hollywood Heartbreak. No one needed to know that.
‘How about you stick it out another month? That means you would have given yourself at least three months here. A lot can happen in a month.’
I had thought about staying for six months, but I liked the sound of three; better to rip off the Band Aid quickly.
‘Have you mentioned this to Ziggy yet?’
‘No way – I don’t need any more pressure.’
‘Fair enough. Now, are you over being all doom and gloom?’
I laughed. ‘Yes, for now.’
‘Well, you better be, because if you are going to be a total Debbie Downer then I will not be taking Cinderella to the ball.’
‘What?’
Sienna grinned from ear to ear, jumping up from her seat and skipping to her handbag.
‘Ta-da! Two tickets to the Hollywood premiere of Forget Me Not. Starring Oliver Drake and Mary Masterson.’ She dangled them in front of me.
‘Are you freakin’ kidding me?’
‘Nope! Doug, who is head of publicity, wants some of us to walk the red carpet at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, and who was I to argue?’
‘This is awesome! I am dying to see this movie.’
‘Well, you won’t just be seeing it, you will be rubbing shoulders with the stars.’
‘I’ll more likely get ushered out of the way so they can take pictures of you, but that’s okay.’
‘Are you kidding? They get a whiff of you being “Pitcher Girl” and they’ll swarm you.’
I cringed; I really didn’t want that to be my claim to fame.
‘Don’t worry, I’m just teasing; it will be a really good way to network, and you get to wear a pretty dress.’
My eyes widened. ‘Oh shit, what will I wear?’
Sienna smiled mischievously. ‘You leave that to me.’
There was something to be said for drinking water and not having guacamole with every meal; the red dress that Sienna loaned me actually fitted, now that I was being a little kinder to my body.
Though I didn’t feel like I belonged in Hollywood, standing in Sienna’s dress, moving from side to side, I felt as if I at least looked the part.
‘Wow!’
I turned to see Billie in the doorway, her smile of approval evident.
‘Isn’t it beautiful?’
‘Sienna done good.’
‘You’re not booking into that same godawful salon that did your tan, are you?’
‘Oh, hell no – I think I will just keep it simple.’
‘Simple, yet stunning,’ Billie said, standing to my side and admiring my dress in the reflection. ‘If you want, I can do your make-up?’
‘Really?’
‘Sure, it’s kind of my thing.’
I laughed. ‘That would be amazing.’
‘Good, because Freddy’s coming over at four-thirty,’ Billie announced, leaving my room abruptly.
I did a double-take, gently gathering my skirt and following her out. ‘Ah, who’s Freddy?’
‘He’ll be doing your hair; I work with him. He’s amazing. Used to do J-Lo’s highlights.’
‘You’ve had this planned?’
Billie shrugged. ‘Only for the past week. Didn’t think you’d object.’
The awkwardness of the last few weeks fell away and I could feel my heart soar; without the ability to put the feeling into words, I shimmied over and wrapped my arms around her instead.
‘You’re welcome,’ she said, wiping the corner of her eye. ‘Now, let’s channel some classic Hollywood. This is going to be your first red carpet, so let’s make it one no one will forget.’