Zee leaned over the chest guard of the chairlift, watching his dangling feet soar above the ski trails, now brown, green and sprinkled with wild flowers.

Two mountain bikers flew down the trail beneath Zee’s feet, demonstrating a respectable dedication to their sport.

Had it only been a day since he’d kissed Tori goodbye in the Costa Rican airport, then boarded the next plane to Utah? It was hard to breathe without her at his side. His thoughts drifted to Tori tumbling through the waves. He would help her conquer those waves. And every wave that would ever crest in their lives, he mouthed, jumping off the ski lift. He dug into his pocket.

He held the ring to the sky, allowing the sunlight to be split by the 121 facet, Dutch designed diamond with perfect brilliance. He slipped the ring back into his pocket and began his walk down the hill. This is where it all began. He would never forget what this great mountain brought into his life.

* * *

Tori set the temperature of the de-traveling shower to scorching. She relaxed her shoulders and closed her eyes, waiting with anticipation as the sizzling water converted to vapor the moment it pelted her cool skin. She slowly inhaled the lemongrass steam.

Gussie had handcrafted glycerin soap, infused with lemongrass essential oil, as a welcome home gift. Tori’s shower was nothing short of euphoric, but something seemed off about today. Tori couldn’t seem to put her finger on it. Perhaps it was merely lingering jetlag.

Tori stepped into her closet and scratched her head in contemplation of what to wear that evening. Zee was stopping in Salt Lake for two days to meet with a few additional refugees before compiling and editing his documentary. He had told her to dress in something comfortable, nothing too formal or starchy.

The sound of tinkling bells caused Tori to scream, “My baby!”

“I almost didn’t bring him back,” Gussie said from the bedroom doorway. “He’s been so loveable and cuddly.”

Rambo ran to Tori’s ankles and completed her shower with rapid, tickly licks. She brought him up into her arms, allowing him to snuggle his nose into her neck. “I’ve missed you.” Tori turned her attention from Rambo to Gussie. “Oh, and thanks for that soap. Love it.”

“You’re welcome.” Gussie sat on the edge of the bed and sang out, “I have something else that you’re going to love even more.”

Tori waited several seconds for Gussie to explain, until she couldn’t wait any longer. “Which is?” She laughed.

“Twinner dresses!” Gussie trilled with excitement. “But you don’t have to wait for us to wear them together. Here,” she said, pulling a form fitting black dress from her purse. “Doesn’t wrinkle, it fits perfectly, and it feels like silk.”

Tori grew suspicious. “Did you know that I was going out with Zee tonight?”

“Maybe.”

“And that I couldn’t bring myself to wear anything that I’d been out with Jim in?”

“I might’ve guessed that.”

“Thank you.” Tori sat next to Gussie on the bed, placing her head on Gussie’s shoulder.

“Don’t mention it. Gave me an excuse to get a new dress.”

Tori sighed. “Am I doing the right thing?”

“Do I ever ask that question? No. If you must ask it, then you must do it. That’s my motto. Now, try it on.” Gussie pushed Tori off the bed. “It’ll look wicked on you.”

Three hours later, Tori sat next to Zee in his car after their twenty-four-hour separation. Invigorating. To her astonishment, the lack of sleep from last night’s red eye wasn’t affecting her. She would most likely crash later, but for now, she had no interest in sleeping. Her only desire was to be close to him; to touch him and inhale his peppery scent.

He hadn’t told her where he was taking her, but they were headed toward downtown Park City, Main Street. Park City’s signature fine dining restaurants and eclectic shops lined the main boulevard, which ran through the center of the old mining town turned resort village in the 1950s with its first ski runs.

She hadn’t strolled Main Street in almost a year. With every step of her last walk down the steep iconic road, a piece of her heart had been shaved off, like slices of seared lamb being cut away from a horizontal rotisserie. She took in a deep breath, praying that she could handle an evening in town.

Zee parallel parked on Main Street in front of their restaurant. Tori’s left eyelid twitched involuntarily as she nervously tapped her fingers on her thigh.

“I was told that this restaurant was one of the best in town. Your thoughts?”

“I would have to agree,” Tori choked out. “But, it can take quite a while. They serve a five-course meal a la cart. It’s true fine dining, meant to be savored, not rushed.”

“Sounds perfect.”

“We may want to try somewhere else.” Eating there would be too painful. Tori grew anxious. Could she walk down that road with Zee and into that restaurant? “You need reservations. I doubt they’ll be able to seat us.”

He twisted his wrist, glancing at his watch. “They’re expecting us in five minutes.” He smiled.

His smile centered her, bringing her back to the present and facilitating a safe environment for her nerves to calm. She could do this.

“How did you manage a reservation? They book out months in advance.”

“Meri has taught me that, at times, it is necessary to be persuasive,” he said, helping her out of the car.

“She was the one who made the reservation, didn’t she?”

“Is that bad?”

“No. I find it endearing that you would ask her for help.”

“You never ask for Meri’s assistance. It’s always freely given.”

Tori giggled. “Bless her heart, is something my mother would say, but I adore Meri.”

“You astonish me, in the best possible way,” he said, kissing her hand as they wound their way up the steep, interior stairwell to the restaurant.

Walking through the restaurant, Tori caught the signature scent of fresh baked bread and sweet wine.

They were led to a private table in the corner of the outdoor patio, overlooking the lively Main Street. A waiter lit the propane patio heater next to their table. Dusk was approaching, and with it would follow a dramatic drop in temperature. The spent propane fumes lingered momentarily as they took their seats.

Zee sat facing the wall, offering the seat with the superior view of town to Tori.

“This skyline is imprinted on my mind,” she objected. “You sit there.”

“I insist. This way I have no distractions. I can give you my undivided attention.”

She smiled as the black, old-fashioned street lights lit simultaneously, creating a soft glow around the pedestrians’ heads. She lived in a city of angels. “Isn’t that angelic?” Tori sighed, motioning to the street behind him.

He peered into her eyes. “Yes.”

She clicked her tongue. “You’re not even looking.”

“Yes, I am looking, and I never want to look away from what has brought me the greatest joy in my life.”

Suddenly, the street lights dimmed and the other chattering patrons disappeared. The only people present were her and Zee. Her deep respirations matched his as he opened his hands out on the table, beckoning her fingers to intertwine with his. As she reached out to finally touch him, the waiter appeared in her peripheral vision with a pitcher of water.

“Tori, I missed you two last year,” the waiter said, filling her glass.

She recognized him as the tall, thin waiter who had waited on she and Jim several times in the past. It surprised her that he had remembered her name.

“Congratulations to you both,” he said, filling Zee’s glass. “Happy A—”

When their waiter lifted his chin, and recognized that the man Tori was with was not her husband, he stopped mid-sentence. His entire body froze, causing the glass that he was filling to overflow and spill down the front of Zee’s pants.

“I am mortified, sir,” he apologized. “Please excuse me.”

“No problem.” Zee stood. “Could you point me to the restroom?”

“Yes. Of course. Please follow me.”

As Zee and the waiter left, the noise on the patio suddenly echoed painfully in Tori’s ears. She looked at her phone. She drew in shallow, rapid breaths when her mind computed the date. It was their anniversary, and this is where Jim would bring her every year to celebrate.

The waiter returned to her table. “I must apologize.”

“No need.” She held up a hand. “Please stop. My husband passed away two years ago and I’m trying my best to hold it together tonight.” She cleared her throat and stared down at the linen draped table as she continued. “Could you please ask the chef to prepare, as quickly as humanly possible, a crusted halibut and a fillet cooked medium-rare. For my own sanity, I need to leave this restaurant as soon as possible.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the waiter bend down. He folded his arms around her back as he wept softly on her shoulder.

“He was a great guy. I’m sorry for your loss.”

She sat motionless, speechless, until he released his grip and sniffled his way back inside the restaurant.

Tori bowed her head, examining her folded hands in her lap. Her circumstance defined her. Even though the ring no longer adorned her finger, she was a widow, and always would be. She would mourn Jim until the day she died and could reunite with him again. This wasn’t fair to Zee. He was such an amazing guy. He deserved a woman who could give her heart to him completely, not a widow who was broken and scarred.

Tori had planned on returning the wedding band to her finger right after the wedding, but hadn’t. She slowly unzipped her purse, found her wedding band and placed it back onto her finger where it belonged.

Zee’s phone vibrated, forcing it to the edge of the table. She quickly snatched it up, before it could careen over the side of the table to the unforgiving stone floor.

He had three missed calls from the same number. What if it was his family trying to reach him? In the event that it was a business call, Tori played it professional. She answered Zee’s phone before it rang over to voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached the number for Zee Terrence. May I help you?”

“Yes. Is Zee available?”

“Not at the moment. May I take a message for him?”

“You must be his new assistant. Nice to meet you. I’m Kathy Sunderland. Zee and I were a couple for several years and have recently reconnected. I know this is personal, but I feel, since Zee and I may be getting back together, I should introduce myself. Are you there?”

Tori blinked her eyes. It was one more stab in the chest. “Yes. I’m here.”

“Zee had invited me to dine with him the next time we were in the same city. I heard he was in Park City, and decided to fly in for a few days. If you could have him call me, I would appreciate it.”

“Kathy?”

“Yes?”

“Can you be at 985 Main Street in ten minutes?”

“Yes!” she yelled. “Thank you so—”

“The steak is for Zee. He hates fish.”

“I kn—”

Tori pressed the end button and placed the phone back next to Zee’s full glass of water. She contemplated leaving before he returned to the table, but knew that he would follow her. She needed it to be a clean break.

Tori kept her head down as Zee approached the table. The less she looked him in the eyes, the easier this would be.

“I had to stand under that hair dryer for a full ten minutes.” Zee laughed. “Three guys walked in, took one look at me, then walked right back out.”

“Zee, I have to leave.”

“What?” His voice grew concerned. “Are you sick?”

“No. I can’t do this to you.”

“Do what to me?” His voice hardened.

“Pretend any longer. You are a wonderful man, but I will never be over my husband.”

“We already skirted around this issue,” he said, taking hold of her hands and resting them against the table. “I understand that. Just like my grandfather loved my grandmother, I will adore you till my dying day. Everything will work out. I know it will.”

“But I don’t love you that way. I’m ashamed to say that I used you. I needed a man’s comforting arms, and there you were. I’m sorry, Zee. You deserve so much more.”

“I want you, Tori, nothing more,” he said, refusing to release her hands as she tried to stand. “Please don’t do this to us.”

“There is no us, Zee. I’m so sorry.”

He dropped his hands to his lap and bowed his head. “What could I have done differently?” his voice trailed off as she walked away.

She had to leave him before he saw the tears flowing down her face. He would have realized that she had been lying to him. Her tears would have only prolonged the anguish.

On her ride home, she gazed out at the barren fields. The snow had finally melted, leaving a tinge of green across the dry land. The moonlight silhouetted the arid countryside of sagebrush and tall grasses zipping past Tori’s window as she contemplated her words to Zee. She regretted being so harsh with him, but wasn’t sure how else to successfully let him go.

She had put him in a position to do that one thing that she herself couldn’t do, move on.

The hired car pulled into Tori’s driveway as Gussie opened the front door. Gussie stood with one hand on her hip and a scowl on her face, prepared to scold. She knew something, and by the looks of things, she was about to let Tori have it.

“Are you serious?” Gussie laid in.

Tori was already emotionally spent. “Gussie, please don’t.” She shook her head. “Why did he have to call you?”

“Well. I don’t know, maybe because you just destroyed the man.”

“I can’t give him what he wants, Gussie.”

“Why?” She pursed her lips.

“You know why,” Tori said, plowing past her as she walked inside.

“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.”

“My relationship with Jim was perfect. He was perfect and I’ll never have that again. I never want that again.”

“First, Jim wasn’t perfect. He was MIA for the first three years of Ethan’s life.”

Tori’s blood started to boil. “He wasn’t always gone. And we would do our getaways together.”

“You’re looking through rose-colored glasses, just like I did when Casey left me.”

“I told you to stop comparing our situations.”

“And this has nothing to do with the fact that it’s your anniversary today?”

“No,” Tori lied.

“And, you don’t feel like you’re cheating on Jim with Zee?”

“No,” she lied again, but Gussie was taking this too far. She had no right. “This is my life, Gussie. Not yours.”

“You’re wrong. You are me, and I’m you. And, like it or not, I’ll always be here to tell you when you’re making the wrong decision. You’re scared of opening yourself up for fear of losing again, but you’re losing him right now, Tori. Wake up!”

“What happened to, if you must ask it, then you must do it?” Tori lay down on the couch, placing Rambo onto her chest.

“Looks like we’re both really good liars,” Gussie said, storming out of the room.

Tori’s adrenaline shivers turned to nausea. She closed her eyes, willing her stomach to calm.

“Mom?” Ethan poked around the corner. “You okay?”

“I’m not sure, baby.”

He sat at her side on the floor, silent. She reached down, taking his hand.

“Gussie is upset that Zee and I broke up.”

“You dumped him?” Ethan questioned, dropping her hand.

“I had to.”

“Why?”

“I can’t love him the way he wants.”

“That’s selfish,” Ethan said with distain. “You can, you just won’t.”

Tori opened her eyes, placing her hand on Ethan’s head. “Are you disappointed?”

“All you think about is yourself.” He jumped up and screamed, “I hate you!”

Rambo snuggled in under Tori’s chin and licked the tears tumbling off her jawline. “Happy Anniversary, sweetheart,” she whispered.