Kelly, it seemed, was serious about stopping whatever was going on between them dead in its tracks. In the last week or so, she’d taken to avoiding him. During team meetings, she somehow always ended up at the farthest end from him. Out of the blue, she’d developed an interest in Angelina’s cases and always volunteered to be her first or second chair. If she needed something from Spencer, the request was done through email. If she needed to pick a physical object from him, she’d end up so busy that Duke or Russell would volunteer to get it for her.
Her evasion strategies were so subtle, none of their coworkers noticed that anything was wrong between the two of them. In fact, if Spencer didn’t already know her and the conversation they’d had, he would’ve completely missed it too.
He had to give the lady points for creativity. Spencer smiled resignedly as he read another email from her requesting files for a case she and Angelina were working on. The email was cold, clinical, and there was a note at the bottom that said if he wanted more information, she’d email him. Subtle! If he wasn’t so frustrated by her actions, he would’ve laughed out loud.
Actually, frustrated was an understatement for how he felt. His emotions were oscillating somewhere between disappointment and desperation. Every time he saw her, he wanted to shake her and force her to look at him and see that being together wasn’t a mistake. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that they could get past their history. But he couldn’t. He didn’t have the right.
Unfortunately, this was something that she needed to work through on her own without pressure from him. And while she did, he’d just wait. Maybe she’d eventually come to him. Or maybe not. Either way, it wasn’t up to him.
“So this is how you spend your Saturdays these days?” Lawrence’s booming voice yanked him from his morose thoughts.
Surprised, Spencer looked up. When had his godfather even entered his office? And what the hell was he wearing? To complement his white pants, white golf shoes and the sunglasses above his head, Lawrence was wearing a Hawaiian shirt that was a vivid shade of pink and carried several palm trees. If that shirt were a flag in space, no one would need a telescope to see it.
Spencer asked, “Are you trying to blind someone?”
“What do you mean?” Lawrence strode deeper into the office.
“That outfit.” Spencer gestured up and down his godfather’s sizeable girth. “I’m getting a headache just looking at you.”
“You’re getting a headache because you’ve sitting in front of your computer too long,” Lawrence countered flippantly before lowering himself to the couch.
“What are you doing here?” Spencer asked.
“What are you doing here?” A frown marred Lawrence’s usually cheerful expression. “Don’t you have something better to do with your weekend?”
“What I have is a lot of work to catch up on.” Spencer picked up a pile of files and waved them at his godfather.
“If I wasn’t your boss, I’d be fooled into thinking you’re the only lawyer around he-” Lawrence stopped speaking. Wincing, he rubbed his chest.
Immediate concern streaked through Spencer. “You okay?”
“Yeah! Just heart burn. I think I drank too much coffee,” Lawrence dismissed as his hand dropped to his lap. He offered, “Why don’t you come with me today?”
“Come with you where?” Spencer lifted his eyebrows. “The golf-course?”
“A poker match.” Lawrence explained, “I’ve got a game on with Judge McConnell, the D.A. and a few other people. I’m sure they won’t mind an extra player.”
“No thanks.” Spencer shook his head. “Not interested.”
“Why not?” His godfather frowned. “This is a good opportunity to form some connections. When you take over the firm, you’ll need them.”
“I think I’ll pass,” Spencer reiterated.
Any other lawyer would’ve been excited to be in line to take over a big firm like Chambers & Quinn. Spencer wasn’t. This firm deserved someone who was invested in it at its helm, and he just wasn’t that someone. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the right time to tell his godfather that, so he hedged, “Like I said, lots of work to catch up on.”
Lawrence studied Spencer for an uncomfortably long time before quietly asking, “It’s about Kelly, isn’t it?”
“What’s about Kelly?”
Lawrence released a heavy breath. “The reason you’re working so many overtimes and weekends.”
“No, it’s not,” Spencer denied. He picked up a file then began to flip through it, willing his godfather to let the subject drop.
But Lawrence didn’t drop it. “Did something happen between you two?”
“No.”
“Did you break up?”
Spencer looked up surprised. “Who said we were together?”
“No one.” Lawrence smiled. “But I raised you, and I know when you’re looking at a woman with hearts in your eyes.”
“Hearts in my eyes?” Spencer made a face. “No damn way.”
“You have feelings for K-” Lawrence winced again.
Frowning, Spencer studied his godfather. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Stop changing the subject.” His hand still on his chest, Lawrence asked, “Did you break up?”
“We were never together in the first place,” Spencer said to assuage his godfather’s curiosity before turning the subject back to Lawrence’s constant winces. “Have you seen a doctor or taken any medication?”
“For heartburn? Who does that?” Lawrence waved his hand dismissively. “And don’t think you’re going to get me to forget the whole Kelly thing just because – ah!”
This time real pain crossed the older man’s expression, and he clutched his chest tightly. Spencer was off his feet and rushing to his godfather’s side within seconds of that groan. But by the time he got there, Lawrence was already gasping for breath.
“Lawrence, Lawrence.” Blood pounding in his ears and panic tightening around his chest, Spencer knelt by his godfather’s side. “What’s wrong?”
Clutching his chest, Lawrence groaned. “Ah! My- my-”
Suddenly, his body slumped to the right, his head headed straight for the vase on the side-table. Spencer caught the older man just in time. However, while he was heaving Lawrence back to sitting position, the older man passed out.
* * * * *
KELLY MISSED SPENCER.
It was mind-boggling, wasn’t it? That one could miss someone even while getting to see that person every day at the office. But it was hard to deny it when he was all she could think about.
Her efforts to avoid him, while minimizing their day-to-day contact, had only increased his presence in her dreams. While she slept, memories of his kisses and touches haunted her. While she dreamt, her brain recapped their last conversation and revised it so that she could say what she’d really wanted to tell him then. That she liked him too. That she wanted them to be a couple just as much as he did.
It was too bad, wasn’t it? That she was who she was, and he was who he was. If they were different people, her heart wouldn’t be aching so much.
“Are you crying?” Sin’s voice cut into Kelly’s morose thoughts.
“Of course not,” Kelly protested, but when she ran her palm over her cheek, she found it wet.
“Yes, you are.” Sin, who was sitting in lotus position on the couch beside Kelly, watched her with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s the movie.” Kelly pointed to the TV screen in front of them. “It’s really sad.”
“We’re watching a comedy,” Sin pointed out. Her forehead creased. “What’s going on with you? Since you guys went on that work trip you haven’t been yourself.”
Kelly lowered her eyes to the throw pillow on her lap. “Nothing’s going on with me.”
“Something’s going on with you,” her friend insisted. “I let it go because I thought you wanted to work it out on your own, but now you’re crying.”
“I’m not crying,” Kelly murmured. As if to defy her, a tear slipped down her cheek to fall on the throw pillow, leaving a wet and undeniable mark on the patterned fabric.
Sin saw the tear and immediately scooted closer to her. A frown marring her pretty features, she demanded, “Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”
“You can’t help.” Kelly sniffed.
“Maybe – but talking about it might make you feel better.” Sin slung an arm around Kelly’s shoulder. “C’mon, just tell me.”
Maybe Sin was right. Maybe talking about it would help. Picking at the throw pillow’s plaid fabric, Kelly muttered, “I slept with Spencer.”
“What?” Sin’s voice was high-pitched, and her eyes were wide with shock. She blinked. Then blinked again. “You did what?”
“I slept with Spencer.” Kelly held up two fingers. “Twice.”
Sin stared at Kelly like she’d just confessed that she had magical powers. Still clearly shocked, she drew in a deep breath then blew it. “Okay. Alright. Wow. That happened.”
“See, even you can’t believe it.” Kelly sighed morosely.
“No, no, no. I was just taken aback for a minute, cause it’s, you know… Spencer.” Sin’s eyes widened as she drawled his name. “But it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s okay. It happens sometimes.”
“But it shouldn’t have.” Kelly wiped away the fresh tears wetting her cheek. “Talk about sleeping with the enemy. My father must be rolling in his grave.”
Sin tilted her head while considering Kelly’s words a long quiet moment before saying, “I don’t think Jesse’s rolling in his grave.”
“He is,” Kelly insisted. “I bet he never dreamed that his own daughter would betray him.”
“You didn’t betray him.” Sin frowned. “And Spencer isn’t the enemy.”
Kelly stared at her friend. “Do you have amnesia? My father died doing Spencer’s job.”
“And Spencer – I can’t believe I’m about to say this – paid for his carelessness.” Sin turned on the couch so that she was facing Kelly directly. “I’m not a fan of the guy – man, I am not a fan. But even I have to admit that he was gone far beyond the call of duty to fix his mistake. Very few people would do that.”
Sin guffawed. “Hell, most people who have the kind of power he has, would’ve worked hard to bury you deeper into the system. But he got you out then tried to help you fix your life as much as he could. It goes to show that despite all his mistakes, Spencer is a decent guy. And even if you don’t want to admit you, you realize that too. That’s why you’re attracted to him, despite your history.”
Usually A.J. was the one on Spencer’s corner, so Sin’s passionate defense of him was, to put it mildly, disconcerting. But even Kelly had to admit that her friend had a point. Though Kelly had never admitted it aloud, a part of her had already forgiven Spencer. How could she not when he’d gone so far to atone for his sins? Maybe that’s why he’d ended up carving a space for himself in her heart while she wasn’t looking. But still…
“Being attracted to him doesn’t excuse me sleeping with him.” Kelly sighed. “I shouldn’t have slept with him.”
“If only it was that simple.” Sin chuckled. “Sleeping with him was just a symptom of your real disease.”
Kelly arched her eyebrows. “I have a disease?”
“You have a disease.” Sin nodded. “You’re not like me. You wouldn’t sleep with someone just to scratch an itch. You’re an emotion kind of girl.”
Kelly frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means you wouldn’t sleep with someone unless your emotions were already entangled.” Sin arched her eyebrows. “I think you love Spencer.”
“What?” Kelly’s high-pitched protest echoed in the room. “No way. Me. Love Spencer?” When all her friend offered her was a knowing look, she blustered, “You need to change your weed supplier because he’s giving you bad product. You’re making no damn sense. Me. Love Spencer? Wow!”
“My weed is good, thank you very much. My guy knows I’d cut his dick off if he messed with my stash,” Sin informed her with a laugh. She soon sobered up. “Okay fine, let’s say you don’t love Spencer. Will you at least admit that you have some very deep feelings for him?”
Even though that sounded suspiciously like love, it was much better than straight up admitting that she loved him. Kelly shrugged. “I guess.”
“And he makes you happy?”
“Sometimes.” When she wasn’t busy feeling guilty.
“Then I think Jesse would be rooting for you guys,” Sin said. Kelly opened her mouth to protest but her friend cut her off. “From everything you’ve told me about your dad, I think he’d understand. He would want you to be happy, wouldn’t he? Not beating yourself up because your heart went rogue. He wouldn’t want you to deny your feelings and torture yourself just to make him happy.”
Sin’s words played on Kelly’s mind the whole weekend. By the time she got to work on Saturday, she was still torn about her next move. Would her father really understand her feelings for Spencer?
As soon as she strode into their building, her eyes swept the foyer looking for Spencer. He usually got to work at around the same time as her, and they’d ended up sharing the elevator more than a few times. But he wasn’t by the elevators.
Disappointed, she walked into the elevator. Figures! The day she actually wants to see him, he’s not there. Maybe he’d brought his car today. Or maybe he’d come in earlier and was already upstairs in his office. Should she go and see him when she got to the office? What would she even tell him when she got there anyway? That she’d missed him? No way. She hadn’t even made up her mind about where their relationship was going; confusing him with words like ‘I miss you’ was just cruel. Maybe she could just pretend to need a document. At least that way she could see him without-
“Did you hear what happened to Lawrence on Saturday,” the man standing in front of Kelly in the elevator asked the woman beside him.
“I heard.” The woman clicked her tongue several times. “But I’m not surprised. With his weight, he was just a heart-attack-in-waiting. He’s lucky it didn’t happen sooner.”
Kelly’s heart jerked in her chest. Surely they were talking about another Lawrence, not the Lawrence she knew.
“I hear it’s bad,” the male gossiper continued unaware of the rapt eavesdropper behind them. “Rose says that he stopped breathing for a moment. If Spencer Chambers hadn’t called the paramedics so fast, Lawrence would’ve been in trouble.”
Yup! They were talking about the Lawrence she knew. Kelly staggered backwards as shock rippled through her. Feeling like her legs were suddenly watery, she clung to the railing behind her.
“Don’t breathe too soon.” The woman scoffed. “I heard he’s in a coma.”
“What?” Her companion’s surprise was nothing when compared to Kelly’s.
Lawrence was in a coma? Along with that shock, came distress. The poor man – and poor Spencer. Kelly could only imagine how he was feeling right now. Though he and Lawrence frequently bumped heads, they were closer than most fathers and sons. How could Spencer not have called her? He should’ve called her. She should’ve been there for him.
Kelly only dropped by their floor to ask which hospital Lawrence was admitted at before dashing out. She wasn’t sure how long it took the cab to get her to the hospital but it seemed like a hell of a long time. Only her knowledge of traffic-violation penalties kept her from yelling at the cabbie to step on the gas.
The moment the cab dropped her off in front of the hospital, she rushed in and headed directly to the main front-desk. The nurse who was there sent her to the Intensive Care Unit on the third floor.
“Are you family?” The stern-looking nurse manning the I.C.U reception desk demanded when Kelly asked for information about Lawrence.
Kelly started, “No, but-”
“Only family members are allowed to see him.” The nurse cut her off sharply. Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not press are you?”
“No, I’m not,” Kelly quickly denied. “I’m-”
“Kelly?” A deep voice called out.
Kelly turned, only to find Spencer walking towards her. He looked exhausted; hair a mess, eyes red with bags under them, shirt wrinkled. He even seemed to be moving and talking slower than usual as he asked, “What are you doing h-”
She didn’t give him time to finish his sentence. In the blink of a second, she closed the gap between them, lifted on tip-toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. The embrace caught Spencer by surprise. He stood stiff in her arms for a heartbeat before his own arms came around her waist. His body melted into hers as his muscles lost their tension.
Now that she was in his arms, the worry plaguing Kelly eased somewhat. She squeezed him a fraction tighter and sunk into his warmth, trying to give him comfort with her own body. His body was so familiar to her; its hardness, his scent, even the feel of his heartbeat against her chest, and she wanted to keep him close to her for as long as possible.
When she finally pulled away, it felt like their embrace had ended too soon. She looked up to find him watching her with sad eyes.
“You came.” He tried to smile, but it ended up as more of a grimace than a smile.
“I came.” She rubbed her palms over his arms. “How is he?”
“Not goo-” His voice broke and his head lowered almost as if he was holding back tears.
Kelly drew him back into her arms as his pain speared straight into her heart. Holding back her own tears, she patted his back soothingly. Spencer buried his face into her shoulder as they held each other. When they finally parted, Spencer led her to a couch in the waiting area.
“What happened?” she asked as they settled beside each other.
“A heart attack.” His eyes on their joined hands, he said, “It was just sudden…”
Apparently, they’d been in Spencer’s office when Lawrence had keeled over. Fortunately, the paramedics had gotten there in record time to prevent the situation from getting even worse. After the initial critical care, they’d raced the unconscious Lawrence to the emergency room where he’d been taken in for surgery.
Spencer finished, “He’s been in an induced coma since Saturday, but they’re trying to wake him up.”
“He’s fine though, right?” She squeezed his hand. “There’s no damage to his heart, right?”
“There’s some damage. But it’s his brain they’re most worried about.” Spencer sighed. “He lost oxygen to the brain during the attack. We got him here quickly, but they won’t know if he’s been affected until he actually wakes up.”
“He’ll be okay,” Kelly reassured.
“I hope so.” When his eyes met hers, they were watery with unshed tears. “I can’t lose him, Kelly. He’s my only family.”
Instinctively, she shifted closer to him and into his arms.
“You won’t lose him,” she whispered, praying that her words reached God’s ear. Please let Lawrence be okay.