Jared
Abi’s sleeping, her hair a tangled coppery mess on the pillow.
I meet Jamie’s gaze, the unspoken agreement to slip out of bed and talk about what just went down, already in the air.
Tossing a towel to him, I pull another one around my own waist and follow him into the small living room, hopefully out of earshot from Abi. The floor creaks like a warning to us, and we both freeze, listening to make sure she's still breathing softly and evenly before we sit down.
This isn't like the last time, where my adrenaline was steadily pumping, pushing me for more of Abi, for another shot of her straight to the heart. This is different. Man, when they say babies change everything, they really mean it.
Jamie settles back further into the couch and crosses his arms—his defensive move. It's like he's trying to brace himself for whatever else is about to happen.
"So that just happened. Again."
The clock on the wall loudly ticks the seconds as I think of what to say. "There goes taking everything slow, I guess." It was something Jamie and I have brought up here and there over the past week...ever since Abi told us she was pregnant. We didn't want to overwhelm her with our feelings, especially since we had no idea what she planned on doing. Taking it slow and easy with her was supposed to be the first step in making this all work. At least, that was the original idea. But now? Looking at the space that separates me and my brother, I know the truth. We're in it. For life. Taking it slow or not, it won't matter to us.
But that's if everything else lines up just right, too. Including Abi's actions and words. "Can we really do this, though?" I whisper hoarsely, not at all surprised by the way my throat tightens up around the thought. "We're talking next-level kind of stuff, here, Jamie. This isn't just sharing some random wild drunken night with a girl, and then leaving the next morning. The sex is one thing, sure, but this is serious. This goes beyond just the night. It spans from now until forever. This is making a family work, no matter what."
At least Jamie considers my words for more than a nano-second before shaking his head. "Look, I get it, Jared. We already know all that. And if we ever wanted to have this…this whole family thing on our own...I don't know, man. We've gotta face the facts, here. Anytime one of us is dating someone, it always creates a big problem. It's irritating as hell when someone pulls us apart because you and I both know we've always been too close and too jealous. Remember when you were dating Andrea a few years ago? She complained that I was always around and thought it was creepy or something. Then Hazel...she had the balls to tell you to your face that you needed to back the hell off so she could fuck me in my room whenever she felt like it. We don't want more of that shit, Jared. This whole thing? It fits like a fucking puzzle piece, no matter how weird it may seem to anyone outside looking in. Doesn't it just...make sense?" he points out, pleading with me.
"Do you think you can deal with not knowing which of us is the father?"
I don't know why I keep thinking up every worse-case-scenario here. Maybe I'm just projecting all my worries, hoping Jamie can come up with a decent solution. My gut twists, reminding me that things don't always go as planned. I can't imagine a world where Jamie and I resent each other—it's impossible. Trying to imagine a world without Abi in my arms at night cuts like a sharp blade.
Jamie leans forward, nudging me with his fist. "I can,” he says. Any child of yours would be like a child of mine. Can you?"
I nod. He’s right. I’d love his kid like my own, in this situation or another. “I feel the same.”
" Jamie nods. "So, then..."
"We're good?" The words hang in between us, heavy. This feels like the most momentous conversation and we’re both sitting in towels to have it.
"Yeah," he finally agrees. "We're good."
Abigail
I press my hand to my lower abdomen, trying to imagine the tiniest of things growing inside me. A baby. Who would've thought?
Even standing in front of my mirror doesn't seem to shake the crazy feeling that I'm living someone else's life right now. It doesn't seem like much - there's barely anything other than bloat going on - but it's funny how I can still tell something's different going on with my body.
I’m finishing putting dressing in my work clothes and slip my shoes on, checking my dresser for a stray hair tie to pull my frizzy mess of hair up off my neck when the doorbell rings.
Jamie and Jared left not even fifteen minutes ago, so I guess that one of them has left something. I open the door with a smile on my face, excited to see my boys again so soon, but the person standing in front of me once I open it is the person I least want to see. Struggling to process the whole scene, I brace myself against the doorframe, feeling like something just knocked the wind out of me. "Cody?" I wheeze. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Even though he knows that I rarely use that kind of language, it doesn't seem to distract him at all as he thrusts a bouquet of slightly wilted roses and baby's breath in my face. "Abigail. God, I've missed you," he says. He smiles as though he’s been out of town for work. Everything feels wrong.
"You’ve missed me," I repeat, shocked. How does he have the audacity to say that after what he put me through? How does he have the nerve to even come to my apartment?
I look around, not wanting anyone to see him here
I’m baffled. Is he here to apologize? What does he think, that a few soft words will change things? Even if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be telling him to get away from me. My insides churn as much from anger as from sickness. I’m about to tell him to go when he pulls out a box of chocolates and a small black box.
I take a step back. He opens it to reveal the same engagement ring I had my friend Bailey give back to him a few days after the engagement party disaster.
"This is yours, Abigail. It’s not meant to be in a box, it’s meant to be on your finger. I made a mistake. A really stupid mistake but I promise I won’t do it again. Marry me, Abigail. Marry me and I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you."
His expression is smug as though he’s expecting me to fall into his arms and forget about everything. He thinks that I still love him. That I still want him.
What I want to do it kick him right in the face.
Better still, laugh. The man is delusional. It's all too much. Before I get a chance to say anything, he slips past me. I'm so stunned by all of the past sixty seconds, that I can only look on, disoriented, as he plops the flowers and chocolates down haphazardly onto the coffee table. Somewhere in the back of my brain, I recall that the coffee table was something we went and brought together.
"You don't mind if I come in so we can talk, right?" he asks, even though he's already inside. Good ol' Cody. Always just assuming his way.
He walks right up to me, holding out the opened box, the ring's diamonds glinting under the light.
I take a step back, not wanting to have anything to do with the stupid thing, or Cody, for that matter. His blue eyes widen and do the thing that I used to love, where they crinkle in the corners as he smiles. I grit my teeth, willing myself not to be stupid.
"God, Abigail, if you only knew what was going on inside my head. It was cold feet...I kept thinking that maybe I was just unsure about committing to you. I didn't want to marry you at the wrong time and then potentially ruin your life later on. I just—"
But I hold up my hand, already feeling the sting of his empty words that only sound pretty. "Nope. It's my turn. You literally had three years to figure all that out already, Cody," I say, counting to three on my fingers. "Do I need to say it again? Three. Years. And let's not forget, you're the one who proposed to me, remember? If you weren't sure about committing, then why in the world did you think it was a good idea to ask me to marry you? Ah-ah, I'm not done," I quickly add, refusing to let him get a word in. "You've always had a nasty habit of flaking out on all of our plans. I just never thought our actual relationship would be one of them. And now you're here with the ring...like it’s going to convince me to go back to you. Is that what you think?"
Cody drops his gaze to the floor, and for the first time in recent memory, he actually looks pretty guilty. I mentally smack myself in the head. Nope, not going to fall for it.
"I understand, but maybe if you just give us another chance, we can fix this. I can fix this. We owe it to ourselves, don't you think?"
This time I really do smack myself in the forehead, lightly. "No, I don't think."
"Okay, okay. I mean like, not right away. Just...over time. You remember how things were between us…well, we can get that back.”
I suddenly hate every single thing I ever said to him to inflate his already too-big ego. It's so unfair of him to just come into my life all over again, trying to make himself sound like he makes sense, with words that should hold more water than they actually do.
"Ugh. I cannot hear stuff like this right now, Cody! This isn't fair to me for you to just waltz in here like this!"
He's like a shark with the scent of blood dripping one tiny drop at a time—he rushes right in to take advantage. "Oh, come on, Abi. You and I both know we work so well together. All the ways we've been together, it's always been perfect," he croons closer to me and snakes his hand up my arm, trying to rub my shoulder like he used to before we'd go to bed.
I shake his hand off feeling totally creeped out. "No. We're not doing this."
"But if we could just try. You know what? You don't even have to do anything—leave it all to me. I'll grovel if you want, I don't even care anymore, Abi. Babe, I just want to try and work it out with you." There’s a definite note of desperation in his voice. It's not often you hear Cody's voice crack from its usual confident tenor.
“Cody, I’m busy. You need to get the heck out. Now." I point to the front door, impatiently.
“Okay. I’ll come back. I get that you’re busy.”
"Get out, Cody," I say through gritted teeth, unable to care less whether this hurts his feelings or not. Shoving at him, I finally get the point across, and Cody laughs as if it's all just some big joke.
"Okay, I'm gone, I'm gone. Just think about what I said!" he says, that stupid laugh making me only want to physically remove him even more. I practically slam the door shut behind him, locking it and bolting it up just because.
The very last thing I want to think about right now is anything that just came out of Cody's mouth,
My stomach heaves, and I have to make a run for it to the bathroom, emptying the quick breakfast I made for the three of us earlier, into the toilet.
Morning sickness. After seeing Cody and being in his presence, vomiting seems like the only appropriate response.