-Round Eight-
Bella
My leg wouldn’t stop shaking, my hand against my belly the only thing to bring me any relief, though even she managed to catch me off-guard with a kick right against my bladder. But maybe she could sense that I needed a distraction, anything to take my mind off the woman who’d be showing up to meet me for the coffee I couldn’t drink any minute now.
It took everything in my being to keep this meeting from Princeton, though he wasn’t quite immune from being affected if things were to go haywire. But being the middleman was a role I was more than willing to take on to protect him from getting his feelings hurt even if she hadn’t seemed too concerned about him in her phone call.
This was all about her grandbaby.
There was a shift in the air that told me she had arrived, though I was slow to peek over my shoulder to check. And once I did, she was a lot closer than I thought she’d be as if she had recognized me right away while I found myself trying to take her all in with this being my first time seeing her outside of the few pictures Princeton kept around his house.
But there was no mistaking those piercing, hazel brown eyes. Eyes my baby would more than likely inherit since they were so prominent on both her and her son. But considering he hadn’t seen her in person in so long, I wondered if her son even knew that to be true as I stood up to greet her, extending my hand that she blew past for a hug as if we were already familiar.
I accepted the hug without truly giving one back. And when she pulled away, I could already see the tears forming in her eyes as she finally acknowledged me by name. “You are even prettier in person, Bella.”
While I wasn’t one to usually take compliments from anyone without blushing, I was way too uneasy to feel any true warmth about it, instead putting my hand to my stomach as I replied, “Thank you. It’s uh… nice to meet you, Lucinda.”
“Call me Lucy. Please,” she insisted, making me smirk as I thought about connecting the dots between her and Princeton’s dog just a week ago. Though back then, I had no idea I’d be meeting the inspiration in the flesh.
It all started with a phone call from Chris; a number I no longer had saved in my phone since he had become completely irrelevant. He gave his usual small talk, which really only annoyed me even more since he had no reason to be contacting me. But just when I was on the verge of cursing him out, he told me some lady had been calling the office all afternoon and evening desperate to find me after she discovered I was once associated with the blog through Google.
She claimed to have important information for me, a story I’d want to hear, and since I had never been one to turn down a lead, I took her name and number along with the surprising apology from Chris that followed. Then the next day, I gave L. Patterson a call, only to discover she was really the Lucinda Lattimore Princeton had spoken about, choosing to go by her first initial and maiden name to keep things discreet until she got in touch with me.
I could appreciate her staying mostly private since I could only imagine how quick Chris would’ve been to jump on a story about her for Fullest Disclosure. But now that I was here, face-to-face with the woman who I honestly had mixed feelings about, I really didn’t know what to say.
Still, that didn’t stop her from trying to kick up a conversation, her smile pleasant as she said, “You’ve grown since that picture Princeton shared on the internet.”
“I have,” I replied with a nod, using my water as an escape to not have to say more.
“And you look so healthy. When I was pregnant with Princeton, I couldn’t stay out of the hospital,” she said with a strained look as if the painful memories were coming back to her.
While I knew more than she probably realized, I decided to keep it short when I replied, “I can imagine.”
“Have you been…”
The small talk was killing me enough to cut her off, holding my hand up as I said, “I’m sorry. I really don’t mean to be rude, but… why did you go looking for me? Why did you want to meet with me and not Princeton?”
It seemed strange for her to have made such an effort to find me without first reaching out to the one she actually shared blood with. And even though I felt bad for asking once I saw the somber reaction on her face, I did my best to keep mine neutral as I listened to her explain, “It’s been… painful, to watch my son grow up from a distance. But I’ve done it with my head held high because it was much better than not being able to do it at all with the both of us six feet under if I would’ve tried to take him with me. And while even that decision was beyond difficult to make since it meant leaving my baby with that… monster, I refuse to let him keep me away from my grandchild as well.”
“He had a stroke,” I blurted from nowhere, almost positive that was the last thing she cared to hear about the person she had just described as a monster.
But I was surprised to see her express even an ounce of empathy when she replied, “That’s… very unfortunate. I wish him a speedy recovery.”
We both fell quiet, Lucy staring out into the distance as I sipped my water watching her, noticing the similarities between her and her son. But just the thought of him had me blurting out yet another thing I probably should’ve kept to myself once I saw the way she tensed up in response.
“Is what Princeton said about him true? That he… hurt you?”
Her eyes were tight with tears as she leaned into the table to answer, “Sir Kingfield didn’t just “hurt” me, Bella. He scarred me. For life. Completely destroyed the only thing I had in my pride and took away the best thing that ever happened to me in my baby boy. But you know what? I still have my life and Princeton still has his. I can still see my son doing well from afar, following in the good parts of his father’s footsteps with his boxing career, starting what is sure to be a beautiful family with you…”
“All these years, Lucy. How’d you stay away from him for all these years?” I asked, the tears in her eyes turning into the tears in our eyes as I expressed the hurt I knew Princeton carried with him every day even when he tried to keep it under wraps.
But when Lucy dropped her head, I could tell Princeton wasn’t the only one carrying that pain as she replied, “It was a lot harder in the beginning, especially when I was trying to rebuild my life on my own. But eventually I grew numb, started using the internet and social media to get my fix just like everyone else. Then I saw the picture of you, carrying my grandchild, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay away anymore. I had to know her, had to know you, had to… thank you in person, for giving him the love I haven’t been there to give.”
I nodded in understanding, my apprehension dissipating the longer I stared at her and recognized that her message was coming from such a genuine place. It wasn’t right that Sir Kingfield had put her in such an unfair predicament, wasn’t fair that she couldn’t have more of a relationship with the person she was responsible for bringing into the world. And while I couldn’t even imagine being placed in the same situation, I had a feeling she would appreciate hearing, “He still thinks about you, you know. Still… wonders about you. And I never understood how he could be raised by someone so cold and still find it in his heart to give me love; give us love. But now I do. He gets that from you.”
With her lip pulled between her teeth, obviously fighting back more tears, I watched as she dug through her purse before pushing a slip of paper my way.
“What’s this?” I asked as I picked it up, immediately noticing how old it was according to the faded print and ruffled edges.
“That… is the check Sir Kingfield wrote me all those years ago to stay away from him and Princeton; to keep me quiet. It came with a threat on my life that I knew he would back up since he had already come close enough on plenty occasions. But I never cashed it, Bella. I couldn’t.”
Having the check in my hand only made me angrier, knowing the depths King had went to to keep her at bay. But such tangible information also had me curious enough to ask, “Why didn’t you take him to court? Or press charges against him?”
“You’re a journalist, correct?” she asked, waiting for me to nod before she continued, “So you know exactly what happens to women like me. We rarely get justice, we never truly “win”. We get ridiculed, picked apart, our reputations destroyed, treated like we’ve done something wrong by taking on one of America’s beloved heroes even though we’re the victim, treated like we somehow deserved it. And while there may not have been all the social media and such that you have now back then, people were just as nasty, just as accusatory.”
The truth to her words had my chest heavy, especially since I had plenty of colleagues who truly got a high off of doing exactly what she had described. And I suppose I was so in my own head about it that Lucy decided to make it crystal clear for me when she said, “I was given a choice, Bella. My life and that check, or… a fight I knew I wouldn’t win. So I chose.”
Once again, I could only nod, accepting her confession without the judgment I came into the meeting with. And while I wished having her be a part of baby’s girl life was as simple as picking between being called, “Grandma” or “Nana”, I knew there was still one more piece to this missing. “I… wouldn’t want to keep you away from your grandchild, Lucy. But I hope you understand that I’d like to discuss this with Princeton first.”
This time, it was her nodding. “Of course! And now that I know Sir Kingfield is in no condition to make good on that threat, I’d be willing to do the same,” she replied with a laugh that made me a little uneasy since I knew it came from such a sad place.
Still, I managed to keep my face pleasant when I said, “I’ll be sure to let him know. And thank you… for sharing your story with me.”
As a journalist, her history was definitely intriguing. But on a basic human-to-human level, I was especially drawn to her triumphs; her survival. And that was a highlight for her as well, for obvious reasons, as she replied, “Glad to still be alive to tell it, Bella. Thank you for meeting with me, for listening, for believing. Oh, and I got a gift for the baby. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself.”
I hadn’t noticed it when she came in, but there was a bright pink bag full of more than just a single gift; a sign that Lucinda was quite excited about the baby I hoped Princeton would be okay with letting her meet.
In my opinion, she deserved it.
But since it wasn’t solely up to me, I offered, “Thank you, Lucy. I’ll be in touch.” This time, accepting the hug she pulled me into and giving her a genuine one in return before parting ways.
For a while after, I just sat in my car trying to piece and package together all of the information she had given me in a way that I could deliver it to Princeton. I didn’t want to upset or alarm him, but I also knew there really wasn’t anyway around it. So instead of holding onto the news, trying to make it perfect, I used the fresh energy of our conversation to head over to the gym, ready to get it off of my chest and leave the rest up to him.
When I walked into the gym, I was surprised to see a wheelchair-bound Sir Kingfield delivering training orders like he hadn’t been in a hospital bed not too long ago. But just the sight of him also gave me mixed emotions, from angry to disgusted to plain out sad. And while his condition - and mine - was enough for me to not take it out on him in a physical way, interrupting his session was plenty to show my blatant disrespect, even when a concerned Princeton asked, “B, what’s up? Something wrong?”
My face was stiff and my voice was sharp as I crossed my arms over my chest and demanded, “We need to talk. Now.”
“Can it wait?” he asked, swiping at the sweat that was dripping from his forehead.
While I respected his work, once I peeked over to Sir Kingfield who looked just as disgusted with me as I was with him, I replied, “It can’t. Not even a second.”
Of course that only upset his father even more as he snapped, “Boy, you have got to be shittin’ me! You’re still lettin’ this broad come between you and boxing?!”
“Pops, chill…” Princeton groaned, trying to diffuse yet another inevitable confrontation between us.
But his attempt at calming his father did nothing to calm me, growing even more furious when I said, “Nah, let Pops dig himself into an even deeper hole since that’s exactly what he threatened to do to you and your mother if she didn’t disappear!”
“What?”
“You crazy bitch…”
His father’s harsh words might’ve stumbled me in the past. But I refused to let him win, continuing on, “I’m sorry, Princeton. But you deserve to know the truth. That this demon wrote your mother a check to go away so he could have you all to himself. And if she hadn’t left, or if she would’ve tried taking you with her, he would’ve killed the both of you.”
My chest was heaving by the time I finished. And while Sir Kingfield’s eyes were burning into me like lasers, his son’s were even tighter when he asked him, “Pops, is that true?”
To me, his reaction was enough to answer that question. But I shouldn’t have been surprised when he tried to discredit me by replying, “I don’t know who this girl’s been getting her information from. But if she was as good of a journalist as she claims to be, she’d know to at least find credible sources.”
“Credible sources like your ex-wife? The woman you gave this check to?” I asked, pulling the paper out of the pocket of my purse that I had left it in.
I wasn’t sure why Lucinda wanted me to have it, but I was glad I did once I watched the way Sir Kingfield’s eyes went wide in response knowing he was officially caught up in his lies. But that still didn’t mean I was completely in the clear as Princeton growled, “Man, you need to get the fuck outta here.”
For a second, I thought he was talking to me until his father replied, “Aww come on, Prince. You really gonna let this…”
“I said, you need to go!” he belted loud enough to make me jump, my eyes falling closed as I tried to calm myself. And when I finally opened them back up, I found Sir Kingfield struggling to wheel himself out, a sight that might’ve pleased me if I didn’t have to deal with the aftermath.
I had a feeling Princeton needed a moment to digest the information, but that still didn’t stop me from attempting to soothe him, reaching out to stroke his arm as I said, “Princeton, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he’d be here.”
Unfortunately, my words and actions only seemed to make things worse as he snatched away from my touch, his expression even more troubled than before when he asked, “Why’d you do this, Bella? Why’d you go digging for this shit, huh? What is this even for? Another one of your stupid write-ups?”
“What?” was the only thing that came out, completely caught off-guard by his attack, unable to even make sense of where it was coming from until he continued, “The other day you asked about her. For her name. I didn’t think anything of it, but now I know. You were on some journalistic bullshit.”
My face was almost as tight as his when I repeated, “Journalistic bullshit? Are you kidding me right now?”
“You shouldn’t have done that, Bella! You went too fuckin’ far! I never asked you to dig into my past more than you already have, never asked for any proof of what I already knew to be true. But you did it anyway! You crossed the line, and for what? A story? How much you gonna get paid for this one, huh?” he asked, his heavy steps towards me intimidating enough for me to step back in avoidance.
But when he still continued his pursuit, I crossed my arms over my chest to create space between us as I huffed, “Wow. You really think I’d do that to you? That I’d… completely violate your privacy, for a story?”
“Ain’t that how I got you? Anything for an exclusive, right?” he asked, looking down at me with an expression so arrogant that I almost didn’t recognize him.
In fact, it reminded me of something his father would do, making me sick enough to stab him in the chest with my finger as I shouted, “Lucinda reached out to me, Princeton! She was the one who got in touch with me, wanted to meet with me, wants to have a relationship with her grandchild; our baby! And you really think I went through all that for a fuckin’ story? No. I went through that to protect you! To protect your feelings even though you clearly don’t give a damn about mine!”
“Bella…”
I was already digging through my purse for the number I had taken down days ago while I continued, “If you think I’m lying, you can ask her yourself. But I don’t have to take this verbal pounding from you. I did absolutely nothing wrong and neither did she.”
“You don’t understand, Bella! He put me through hell when she left us! I caught every beating she didn’t! Even if he framed it as toughening me up for the sport, I still suffered so fuckin’ much because of her, man. Because of them.”
Seeing Princeton brought to tears had me wanting to forget every hurtful thing he had said just so that I could comfort him, my heart strings tugged in the worst way since I knew there was nothing but truth to his words. But I also knew it wasn’t fair for me to have to accept the wrath that wasn’t even truly for me.
This was bigger than me, wasn’t even my problem to solve. And while it hurt me to be used as a scapegoat, and especially hurt me to see him hurt, I had no choice but to leave, dropping his mother’s number on the stool nearby as I told him, “Well I suggest you take that up with your parents. Because attacking me, the person who’s always been in your corner, is no longer an option.”