I’m in the park. It’s busier than usual and quite noisy. At first I think it’s full of people but as I walk further along the path, I realise it’s full of pigeons. Pigeons in the trees and sitting on Dan’s bench. Pigeons on the deckchairs and the bandstand. Pigeons squawking and fluttering and shitting everywhere. I see Dan in the distance and I dodge numerous pigeons until I get to him. He keeps walking until he’s pressed right up against me. I slide my hands inside his jacket and as I lean in to kiss him, he pecks me instead.

And then I wake up.

---

‘Have you talked to Mum?’ Matt asks as soon as I answer my phone the following evening.

My heart plummets and bile rises in my throat. ‘What’s happened?’

‘It’s nothing bad, everyone’s OK,’ he says immediately. I wish he’d opened with that. ‘I mean,’ he continues. ‘It’s not great. But no one’s dead. No one’s ill.’

‘Tell me,’ I say. ‘You’re scaring me.’

‘You OK?’ Freya mouths at me across the living room, where she’s marking. Again. I shrug and realise I’m blinking back tears.

‘Tom’s business is being investigated,’ Matt says. ‘Some accounting irregularities, apparently.’

My stomach lurches again. ‘Stuff I’ve done?’ I only record and categorise his expenses, but I know he uses the reports the software generates for tax and VAT.

‘I think it’s bigger than that,’ he says. ‘It may include stuff you’ve done, but that’s not all.’ I hear Matt suck in a breath and realise he’s smoking. I thought he’d given up.

Freya comes over and squeezes my shoulder, then leaves the room.

‘So what does it mean?’ I ask Matt. ‘What’s happening?’

‘They’ve had to stop trading. This accountancy firm’s been instructed to, like, audit everything.’

‘So what are they looking for? What do they think’s happened?’ I stare out through the window. It’s been raining all day, but it just looks grey and miserable now.

‘They think Tom’s been taking money from the business. Like, for personal stuff.’

I shake my head. ‘He’s always really strict about that. He always makes sure any personal expenses are repaid. Once it was, like, a newspaper. It wasn’t even a quid. But he paid it back.’

‘Yeah,’ Matt says. ‘I think it’s much bigger than that. We’re talking thousands, not the odd quid for a paper or a coffee.’

‘Wait,’ I say – something in his voice is making me feel queasy. ‘You don’t think he really did this?’

Matt sighs. ‘I don’t know. I don’t want to. But they don’t do this kind of thing randomly. It seems like he might’ve done. Maybe not intentionally, but… yeah.’

‘He wouldn’t though,’ I say, instantly. ‘Tom’s not dishonest. He’s the most honest person I know. Remember that time at the cashpoint? Someone had left their cash? And he handed it in?’

‘I know,’ Matt says. ‘It’s unbelievable. Maybe he just fucked up somehow. It happens.’

Freya comes back and hands me a beer and I smile quickly at her before taking a long pull of it. I feel like I need something stronger: what do they give people for shock? Brandy. We haven’t got any brandy.

‘So what’s happening now?’ I ask Matt.

‘He’s at home. He’s really pissed off. He thought he could carry on trading while they did the investigation and it was only when they turned up they told him he’d have to shut down. So there’s like long-time clients he’s had to let down.’

‘That’s not good.’

‘Nope. I think his worry is that even if the investigation turns out in his favour, he’ll have lost some important clients.’

‘Shit! How long’s it going to take?’

‘Dunno. Could take months, apparently. I’ve been trying to find out, but it seems like it’s a long as a piece of string type of thing, you know?’

‘How’s Mum?’

I wish I was at home. I’d feel better if I could hear what’s happening from Tom, have Mum tell me it’ll all be OK.

‘Oh, you know Mum. She’s furious. She thinks it’s all a stitch-up. She asked him if he has any enemies.’

I laugh and then say, ‘God. This is awful.’

‘I know. But maybe it’s not as bad as it seems. Maybe it’ll turn out to be nothing.’

‘I hope so.’

I ask him about work and life and Lydia, but he’s his usual non-committal self, offering only short, not very informative answers. I feel like now that he’s told me about Tom, he just wants to get off the phone. Eventually, I let him, after making him promise to ring me as soon as he knows anything.

‘Don’t worry,’ he says just before hanging up.

Bit late for that now.

---

‘You could ask Dan about it,’ Freya says, once I’ve told her everything Matt’s told me. ‘Like what usually happens in this kind of situation. What the process is.’

‘Do you think? I mean, he’s not qualified yet.’

‘No, but he’s worked in accountancy, right? He’s going to know more than we do, anyway.’

‘That wouldn’t be difficult.’

‘I’m sure he could ask someone he works with.’

‘He’s still looking for work.’ He had another interview today, actually. I need to text him and ask how it went.

‘Well, someone he’s worked with in the past then. Even knowing the right terms to Google. Worth a try.’

I nod. She’s right. It definitely is.

‘I’ll text him,’ I tell her.