It Might Be You by Jennifer Gracen (18)

Chapter Seventeen

Nick turned off the car, leaned his head back, and closed his eyes, just wanting to relax and gather himself for a minute. The last time he’d come to his parents’ house for dinner, his whole world had been upended.

He’d been back in Florida for three days now. Gone to work and started his new position on Monday, thrown right into long hours on two new cases. Relaxed a bit by going for beers with Darin after work on Tuesday. Now it was time to face some tough questions and tougher answers, but also time to make peace.

Peace wasn’t something he had a lot of these days. He had to find it where he could.

As soon as he entered his parents’ house, his sister Erica flung herself at him in a big hug. He smiled from the inside out as he returned her embrace. “Ay, mamita, you missed me, eh?”

“Of course I did, dummy,” Erica said. “It’s really good to see you.”

“Good to see you too.” He stepped back to look her over. His beautiful baby sister wasn’t a baby anymore. Her curvy body was encased in a tight little dress with the middle cut out, exposing most of her midriff. He frowned. “Your clothes need more clothes.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You sound like Dad.”

“There are worse things,” Nick said. “And Dad’s a smart guy. You should listen to him.”

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Lew leaned in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room, his pale eyes on Nick.

“I’ll go get Livvie,” Erica said, looking between them. She left the room.

The two men stood quietly, looking at each other. Things had been awkward between them since the blowout.

“How’s the new job going?” Lew asked.

“Good. Busy. Lots to absorb.”

“Yeah, but you’ll get it.”

“I know. I’m not worried. It’s just a lot.” Nick shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts. “Weird wearing a shirt and tie every day instead of the uniform. That’s gonna take me a while to get used to.”

“Once a patrolman, always a patrolman,” Lew said with the quiet wisdom of experience. His mouth twisted in a wry grin.

“Dad, I’m sorry,” Nick blurted out. “I’m sorry for blowing up at you when I found out about Mom and me, and.... I’m sorry for letting my temper get the best of me, and not hearing you out. And being a rude prick. That wasn’t fair to you.”

“I understood,” Lew said. He pushed off the doorframe and stepped closer. “I understood all of it, even though I hated it.”

Nick nodded and huffed out a sigh. “It was a shock. I . . .”

“Stop. Apology accepted.” Lew looked him over. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just a little . . .” Unable to think of the right words, Nick used his hands to gesture like his head was exploding.

“Seems about right.” Lew stepped forward and clasped his son in a bear hug.

Nick hugged him back, some of the tension in his body easing.

“I love you like you’re my own,” Lew said gruffly at his ear. He pulled back and put both hands on Nick’s shoulders. “You’re my son. End of story.”

“I know. And I’m proud to be.” Nick’s throat felt thick and he swallowed hard. “You’ve always been there for me. You’re my father. End of story.”

Lew smiled, and to Nick’s shock, his eyes looked a little glassy.

Maria walked in then, stopping at the sight of them. Her dark eyes rounded and set on her son.

“Ma . . .” Nick turned away from Lew to go to her, pulling her into his arms.

She broke down crying as she grasped at him. “Oh, mijo . . . I thought I lost you.”

“Never,” he murmured, closing his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. He kissed the top of her head and held her tight. “Te quiero, mamí. Te quiero mucho.” He rubbed her back as she cried. “Shhh. You’re stuck with me forever.”

She sobbed with relief. Erica and Olivia came into the room, saw them, and walked right out. Nick held her for a few minutes until her tears subsided, then led her to the couch. Lew handed her a box of tissues. She gave a little laugh as she grabbed a few and wiped her face.

“Now I’m a mess,” she said. “And who cares.”

“Not me,” Nick said with a shrug as he sat beside her and took her free hand.

She turned to him as Lew sat in the armchair across from them. “Tell us about New York, Nick. Tell us everything.”

Nick felt like he talked for a long time. He told them about all of the Harrisons and their families. He told them about how he’d go back to New York in a month or so for the surgery and what recovery would be like, at least according to the reps he’d spoken to. He told them about things he’d seen in New York City.

But he didn’t tell them about Amanda. She was . . . that was all for him. He’d only texted her twice since he’d gotten back. They’d both gotten so busy, and their chats had been brief. But he wanted to keep her to himself. His delicious, secret girl . . . it wasn’t to be shared with the world. Not yet, anyway.

“I’m getting hungry,” Olivia said from the doorway.

Nick glanced at his watch. Sure enough, he’d been talking for an hour. “You know what? I am too. Dinner almost ready?”

“I kept an eye on the kitchen,” Olivia said. She was finishing her senior year at a nearby college, and was a little more mature than Erica. “The food didn’t burn or anything.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” Maria cooed.

Lew rose from his chair, stretching his stiff limbs. “The girls and I will get everything to the table. You two take another minute.”

Maria watched him go, then looked back to Nick. “Your father. Your biological father. Did you see him?” Concern and worry played across her face. “You talked about everyone else but him.”

Nick’s jaw tensed. “Yeah, we met. One time. And that was enough.”

Her eyes widened. “It was bad?”

“Let’s just say I see why you never told him about me. He’s a real asshole.” Nick raked a hand through his hair. “Let’s have dinner, and I’ll tell you the rest after, okay?”

She sighed but nodded and got to her feet.

The five of them enjoyed the meal. Nick relished the familiarity of it: Olivia and Erica both talking too much and annoying him at times, Lew quiet but solidly there, his mom smiling and making sure everyone ate enough and tossing out wisecracks with him and his sisters. It was comfortable, close, and wonderfully known.

This was his family. These were his people, and he was walloped by a wave of emotion as he looked around. He was so damn grateful to have them all. He didn’t know, ultimately, how he’d find a place in his life for his new . . . siblings. And they definitely seemed to want a place there. But these four people were his home base, his compass. They’d always been there for him and helped make him who he was. His younger sisters had never known anything from their parents but love, support, and kindness. His parents were compassionate people who adored all of their kids and always put them first. His four New York siblings may have had tons of money, but they weren’t as lucky as Nick and his sisters. The Martell family was blessed. His eyes stung and he took a deep breath. This was where he belonged.

“Hey,” he said, his voice gruff. The table quieted instantly, four pairs of eyes on him. “I love you guys. I really do. It’s good to be home.”

Maria’s eyes shone. “We love you too.”

“Very much,” Olivia added with a tender smile.

“I don’t care what those New Yorkers want from now on,” Erica asserted. “We had you first. You’re ours. We have dibs.”

Nick laughed, relief cresting over him at the break in heavy emotion. “That’s not up for debate. This is my family. Always has been, always will be.”

Lew nodded and reached for his beer. “Damn right.”

* * *

Later, after the table had been cleared, Olivia and Erica went back to their rooms while Nick again sat in the family room with his parents. “I need to talk about some of the tougher stuff now,” he said.

Maria and Lew sat together on the couch. Lew reached over and took his wife’s hand in his. She drew a visibly shaky breath, but nodded. “Go on, mijo.”

“I don’t think Charles II is going to come after you,” Nick said. “But I have no guarantee. I made it very clear that if he did anything at all, he’d answer to me.”

“Oh, Nick,” she whispered.

“He’s a bastard, Ma. You were right. Even to his own kids . . . The youngest, Pierce? The one you told me about? Well, they have no relationship. They hate each other. Pierce came to the family meeting when I met the old man as a show of support to me, and it was the first time they’d talked in like seven years. And Charles was nasty to him. You would have been appalled at how he spoke to his own son.”

Maria shook her head. “He never learned. That’s so sad.”

“Well, don’t be sad. I don’t want you to be afraid, Ma, but . . . he implied he’d love to come after you for keeping me a secret from him. You need to know this.”

Lew’s free hand clenched into a fist. “If he comes anywhere near her—”

“Not just her, Dad. He’d probably like to mess with all of us, just to feel like he has some control in this situation, since it was taken from him. The man lives to control.” Nick met his eyes. “He’s a narcissist, a power freak. But like I said, I made it clear to him that he better not. And his four kids all backed me. Told him if he lifted a finger to hurt anyone in our family, they’d cut him off from the rest of their family. That they’d make sure he paid for it and was held accountable.”

“That’s kind of amazing,” Lew said.

“Yeah. I was stunned,” Nick admitted. “But it was a nice show of support.”

“Sounds like they grew into decent people,” Maria murmured. “In spite of him.”

“They are, Ma. I think they are. So . . .” Nick rubbed his palms together, fidgety and restless. “I think it’s gonna be fine. That the old man will stay away from you. From us. But if anything happens . . . anything unusual, anything bad? You need to tell me right away so I can check it out, and then handle it. Okay?”

“What do you think he’d do?” Lew asked, brows furrowed.

“I have no idea, because I don’t think like him. So I’m just saying. Keep an eye out. Just . . . be aware we all have an enemy now. A powerful one.”

“He’d do something to you?” she said tremulously. “His own son?”

“I’m not his son,” Nick said. “I’m flesh and blood, but I’m not his son.” He looked into his mother’s eyes. “Ma . . . I know I should be mad at you for keeping me a secret from him, and him from me. That on some level, it was wrong.”

Her face flushed, but she didn’t look away. Her eyes held his.

“I know that in my head,” Nick continued. “But in my heart . . .” He shrugged and dropped his hands onto his knees. “I’m not mad, and I’m not judging you. I wish I’d known sooner, yes. But I’m not mad at you anymore. I’m not holding a grudge, none of that. I wasn’t in your shoes. That was your decision. It was what it was. You did the best you could. So . . . I don’t want to dwell on it. We just go forward from here, okay?”

Her eyes welled and tears spilled onto her cheeks. “It’s better than I deserve.”

“No, no, stop that,” he demanded. “You did right by me. You raised me in a good home, to be a good man. You did good, Ma. I’m letting this go; you have to also.”

“Are you really?” she asked, peering harder at him. “How can you?”

“I . . . still need to figure some things out,” he said. “But I know who I am. So I’ll be okay.”

She grasped both his hands with hers and squeezed as she sniffled. “Of course you will, mijo.”

“We’re here for you,” Lew said. “I’m glad you’re letting us be.”

“I’m glad you forgive me,” Maria said.

“I should be thanking you,” Nick said to them. “You’ve been great parents. I have a good life. I’m a lucky man. So . . . onward.” He drew a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. He felt better about repairing his relationship with his parents. But really, that was the easiest part. He still felt the slight tension in the muscles of his neck and shoulders.... The rest of the moving parts in his life weren’t an easy fix, and he knew it.

Amanda looked at the text from Nick and her insides warmed. She’d heard from him a few times over the past week since he’d gone back to Florida. He’d texted when he touched down in Miami, as he’d promised. He checked in every other day, and they’d chatted via texts for a few minutes. But it didn’t feel like enough.

She wanted more. Longer text chats, or more of them, or to hear his voice . . . to hear something from him that indicated the connection she’d felt between them was real, and he’d felt it too. But so far, not so much. And it frustrated her.

She wasn’t sure what frustrated her more: that they weren’t going deeper on an emotional level, or that she was the one bending the unspoken rules by wanting that at all. Both had her overthinking the situation and coming up short. She had to swallow it.

Here it was, ten o’clock on a Friday night. She was back in her apartment after a long, hard week, and all she wanted was to sink into Nick’s arms and have him soothe her headache and heartache away. The Chinese takeout for dinner had filled her, the glass of wine she’d had with it helped to calm her, but nothing could get rid of the gnawing inside. She longed for comfort. Texting with Nick would have to be a good substitute.

She changed into her pajamas first, refilling her wineglass and bringing it to her nightstand along with her phone. The lights stayed off, lending a touch of intimacy to her surroundings as she prepared to dig in for a long chat.

Hey there, Miami Vice. I’m okay, she texted back, then climbed into her bed. She sighed aloud in contentment as her body relaxed into her mattress. Keep it casual, she reminded herself. Nick just wants casual. You told him you wanted that too. So be that.

Nick’s text came back right away. Is that true?

Is what true? she wrote back.

Her throat thickened unexpectedly. She swallowed and texted, Truth? Yes, it was a rough week. But I’m okay.

I’m sure, Nick wrote. On both counts. But . . . wanna talk about it?

Nope. How’d your first full week go, Detective? she wrote, hoping to deflect away from herself. If he was nice to her, she’d spill all over him, and she didn’t want to. She scowled at herself and reached over to grab her glass. Why did he make her feel so much, when she didn’t want to feel anything at all?

It was fine, thanks. But you’re deflecting, he wrote. Talk to me. I have time. Not working. Home alone, got all night.

The lump in her throat felt like it got bigger. She swallowed down a sip of wine. Home alone on a Friday night? After your first week on the new job? That doesn’t seem right. You should be out celebrating.

Go clubbing, she wrote. Dance with a hot girl. Laugh with your friends. Drink like you’re out with Pierce.You deserve it.

LOL, Nick responded. Pierce can drink. That’s more like a challenge than a suggestion.

Amanda sent back a wink emoji.

Then he texted: Are you telling me to go hook up?

Amanda’s heart skipped a beat, and embarrassment flooded her. Shit. What should she say?

I’m not looking to hook up right now, Amanda, Nick wrote. Got enough on my plate. Just saying.

She felt her face turn crimson, grateful he couldn’t see her. Okay.

I didn’t mean anything by that, she wrote, her stomach churning now.

She waited. After thirty seconds, she realized she was holding her breath and expelled it in a gust. And what? she typed.

Amanda almost spilled her wine all over herself. Her heart pounding, she swallowed a huge gulp, put the glass back on the nightstand, then called Nick.

“Hey.” His voice was low and sexy, sending a shiver through her.

“You made me melt,” she said quietly. “I needed to hear your voice.”

“Hmm. I like that.” She could hear the smile in his voice, pictured it on his gorgeous face. “I’m glad you called, then. It’s good to hear your voice too.”

She drew a shaky breath, heart still beating fast, and nestled further into her pillows. “Did you mean that? What you just wrote?”

“Yup.” He paused, then blurted out, “I’ve thought about you every day. I know I’m not supposed to, but to hell with that. And I . . . I know you had a hard week, so I just thought I’d tell you that. Maybe it’d help, or make you smile, or—”

“It did. It does.” Her heart squeezed, and her stomach did a flighty little flip. She ached for him. “I missed your voice. This week was hell,” she confessed. “I wish you were here tonight to help me forget it.”

“I’m sorry to hear it,” he said gently. “Talk to me. I’m listening.”

“Well, he started losing his hair again.” Her voice was barely above a murmur, but it suddenly felt thick in her throat. “It happened quicker than last time, and it upset him pretty bad. When he wasn’t sleeping. His blood sugar was all over the place because of the chemo, the steroids, and . . . dammit, I don’t know how much I should be telling you. It sucked—how’s that?”

She heard Nick swear under his breath. “I called Charles on Wednesday morning to see how Myles was doing. He said it was hard, and sounded stressed. But he said you were taking good care of him. Didn’t give me a lot of details.”

“You don’t need any more details,” she said. “You can guess the rest.”

“You’re so strong, Amanda,” Nick said, his voice a caress. “You know that, right? Charles and Lisette are so glad Myles has you. And so am I. You’re an angel.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just doing my job.”

“The job of an angel. I couldn’t do what you do. You’re amazing.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she drew a long, shallow breath. “Thanks. But I don’t feel so amazing at the moment. I feel sad and worried and exhausted and emotionally wrung out. I might not get out of bed for the rest of the weekend so I can recharge my battery and go back on Monday with a smile for that kid. That’s the truth.”

“And that’s okay. Do that if you have to.” He paused before adding, “I wish I was holding you, in that case.”

Her breath caught. God, he was being so sweet. “Me too. That sounds nice.”

“It does.” They were quiet for a few seconds before he added, “I wish I was doing a little more than holding you, truth be told. Or, if I was, that at least you’d be naked. Can I envision holding you but you’re naked? Oops, too late. Already doing it.”

A giggle popped out of her. “I wish you were too, I admit it.”

“Sounds good, right?” He paused. “So, um . . . have you . . . ever had phone sex?”

Heat seared through her body, making her skin tingle. “Maybe. Why?”

“Why do you think?” His voice dipped low, playful yet seductive. “I can’t hold you, but I can do something else for you. Could be a great way to help you relax.”

“Relax? You getting me all worked up is not my idea of relaxing.”

He laughed softly. “Well . . . I’d talk you through and get you all worked up until you come. Hopefully, come hard. After which, you’d relax. Get it?”

“Jesus,” she breathed. Just hearing him say something like that, with that sex-on-a-stick deep voice of his, had her wet already.

“So, Favorite Nurse. You game?”

“Um. Hold on.” Heart rate rising, she reached for her wineglass again. She drank down three huge gulps, then set it back down. Her whole body was already pulsing with lusty desire. “Okay, Miami Vice. Show me your A game. Why not, right?”

“You sound a little nervous.”

“I . . . no. I’m not. You just got me all flustered over here.”

“Good. I mean . . . it’s not like I haven’t heard you come before, mi reina.” His voice was pure sin. “And I loved it. Every time.”

A jolt of electricity shot through her, ending right between her legs. She squirmed in her bed, pressing her thighs together.

“You keep talking like that,” she warned, “it won’t take me long at all.”

He chuckled. “What’s the rush? We have all night. This is going to be fun.”

“It is, huh?”

“Fuck yeah. Hearing you when you’re turned on is so hot. Thinking about you touching yourself? I’m hard already.”

A soft moan fluttered out of her. “Jesus, Nick. Your voice alone should be illegal, much less the dirty things that come out of your mouth.”

He gave a little snort-laugh of triumph. “But you like when I talk dirty to you, don’t you?”

She shivered. “Yes. Like you couldn’t tell.”

“I have to admit . . . I could tell. Which is why I’ll keep doing it.”

Fifteen minutes later, she was moaning out a powerful orgasm, one hand pressing the phone against her ear while the other worked herself into a frenzy. She panted as she regained her senses, then realized what she’d done, what she must have sounded like, and let out a hoarse laugh. “Ohhh my God.”

“That,” Nick said roughly, “was unbelievably fucking hot.”

She smiled as she tried to catch her breath. “Glad you enjoyed.”

“I’m glad you did, babe. Damn, you’re sexy.”

Still a little woozy, she said, “Well, I don’t know if I can match your dirty talk, but I’ll give it my best shot. Your turn.”

He groaned. “I’m halfway there, you kidding? Won’t take much.”

She hoped she’d be able to cast a spell over him the way he had over her. His powers of seduction, even just with sexy talk over the phone, were epic as far as she was concerned. But she felt suddenly shy. She hadn’t done this since college.

He must have sensed her sudden nerves, her hesitation. In a low, sexy rumble, he coaxed, “Just tell me what you’d do to me if you were here right now. Go on . . .”

She started out slowly, feeling awkward, but eased into it with his guidance. Luckily, he must’ve been as turned on as he claimed, because it only took about five minutes before he came. The sounds of his heavy breathing and groaning climax made her insides clench and want to go another round.

“Jesus,” he panted. “See, you’re good at this. Knew you had it in you.”

“Did you? I didn’t.”

“Oh, I did. You’re my bold New York girl.”

“I loved hearing you,” she admitted. “That was hot.”

He laughed. “I’m glad. Give me a minute?”

She reached over and drained what was left in her wineglass. Between the slight buzz from the Chardonnay and the after-buzz of her orgasm, she felt floaty and content.

“I’m back,” he said. “You know what? If I can’t see you, this was the next best thing. It was fun, anyway. Right?”

She giggled and rolled onto her side. “Yes, it was.”

“You warmed up to it quickly. You weren’t shy after the first minute or two.”

“Because you led me down the path to ruin like a master.”

“Did I? Awesome. I feel like a king now. Or a naughty Pied Piper. Not sure.”

She laughed, and “I miss you” came spilling out of her mouth. She cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. Damn, damn, double damn, why had she told him that?

“I miss you too,” he said softly.

“You don’t have to say that because I did.”

“I wouldn’t. I don’t say things I don’t mean.” He paused, and she could hear the rustle of sheets. She figured he was easing back into his bed. “So you miss me?”

She sighed. “Yeah. I do. I wasn’t going to tell you that. Sorry.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”

“Because we . . . we’re not like that.”

“Like what? Two people who like each other? Yeah, we are.”

She bit down on her lip before saying, “I don’t really know what we are.”

“I don’t either. But I miss you too, if that makes you feel better about saying it.” Nick paused. “I’ve been busy as hell this week, but I’ve thought about you.”

She smiled and her trepidation lessened. “That’s nice to hear.” With a yawn, she rolled onto her side and burrowed deeper into her bed. “Between the wine and the O, I’m so nice and sleepy now.”

“Maybe I should let you go, then.”

“Not yet. Soon, but not yet. I like talking to you.”

“Amanda, you know what . . .” His voice trailed off, and she waited. “It’s okay that we’re into each other. We’re hiding it from the others, but we shouldn’t have to hide it from each other. We spent a night together. An amazing night. And we’re staying in touch. So . . . I don’t know what this is either, but I know I’m into you, so I’m just gonna go with that for now. There, I said it. Okay?”

“Works for me,” she murmured, her heart growing a size or two.