Chapter Eight
“Just do this for me,” Kate pleaded, tossing a pair of jeans across the room. “Tomorrow I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn, take a puddle-jumper plane to the armpit of Oregon, spend the entire week taking depositions about mold, and eat really bad takeout. Put on the damned jeans. Where are your push-up bras?”
“I am not putting on sexy lingerie.” Hannah unzipped her dress and dropped it to the floor.
“And what do you call that?” Kate shot back, pointing at the stockings and garters.
“It’s cold, and you know I can’t stand pantyhose. This is practicality.”
“I dare you to leave it on,” Kate said as she slingshot a peach push-up bra at Hannah. “Think of how powerful you’ll feel.”
Hannah looked down at herself and wondered where the power was supposed to come from. She hadn’t seen Mason in two days, and her body yearned for him. She unsnapped her comfortable mesh bra and replaced it with the push-up and surveyed the difference. Maybe with the right shoes…
“These are fantastic,” Kate squealed, pulling the come-get-me boots from the closet. “I must borrow them.”
“Go ahead.” Hannah slid jeans over her stockings. Standing, she tucked her garter belt down beneath the waistband and reached for the cream-colored sweater Kate had tossed her way as she left of the room. So that’s why she insisted on the push-up. Hannah tugged the low-cut scoop neck up her shoulders.
Fatigue made her every move heavy. She’d worked from opening to closing at the store the last two days to keep from thinking about the incident, dodging questions from coworkers, and mentally preparing for her seven o’clock breakfast tomorrow with the district and regional managers to discuss store safety.
And there were the messages from Marty’s wife’s divorce attorney threatening a subpoena. Thank goodness, Kate was a lawyer and had promised to make it go away, and Hannah had to believe her.
Right now, she let Kate handle everything, like meeting Mason and Derek for drinks tonight. Kate stated it was happening, that she and Mason needed to have a conversation on neutral territory to figure out where they went from here. Hannah had been too exhausted to argue.
But really, she wanted to see Mason. She hadn’t returned his calls, but she wanted to be near him for a little while. Wanted the world to go back to the way it had been just a few days ago.
“Is this first-date perfect or what?” Kate posed in her black pleated miniskirt and tiny black cardigan unbuttoned at the bottom, showcasing her toned tummy to perfection.
“He isn’t going to know what hit him.” Hannah smiled, absorbing Kate’s glee. Was it just a week ago she’d felt the same way? “Mason did warn you Derek talks a lot, right?”
“He showed me a picture.”
As if that answered the question. Kate obviously needed more information. She could be brutal if unprepared.
“He’s a psychology professor, so he thinks he knows what you’re thinking.”
“Hannah, I appreciate the head’s up, but he’s the first guy with an advanced degree I’ve had a date with in two years. Men tend to get intimidated by my career. Just let me have this, okay?” Kate ticked Derek’s attributes off on her fingers. “Cute guy, good family, actually has a job and a brain.”
“Fine.” Hannah held up her hands and smiled. A best friend could bring out the best in you, even when you felt your worst. “Two hours, and I have to be in bed.”
“However you two decide to end your night is your business,” Kate said with a sassy smile.
“I’m not sleeping with him.” And she meant it. They needed to slow things way down.
“So says you,” Kate said, bustling to the closet. “What shoes are you wearing?”
…
So much for Kate’s bright idea of talking things out. Hannah hadn’t been in the room with Mason two minutes and she was already thinking about sex. She’d almost dragged him back to her bedroom the moment he’d walked through the door.
But sex was not their problem. The issue was how fast things were moving, and sleeping with him again and again would only race them farther down a road she wasn’t sure she wanted to travel.
In light of the glaring example of her inability to judge character, Hannah appreciated Kate meeting Mason. Troy had distrusted him on sight. If Kate did the same, Hannah would have to move past Mason McNally.
Kate seemed content to focus on the other McNally brother, pretending to find his jokes hilarious and his ideas insightful. So interesting, in fact, she hadn’t even tasted her chocolate martini.
Hannah sipped her Pinot Gris and pretended to listen to Derek’s latest adultery theory until she heard her name.
“It was Hannah’s idea actually. Focusing on the type of women philandering men are attracted to has proved quite a puzzle.” Derek adjusted his glasses.
“How was that Hannah’s idea?” Mason asked as he removed all the condensation from the outside of his pint of beer.
“She wanted to know why married men are always attracted to her,” Kate filled in.
Mason smirked and took a swig from his glass. “You didn’t tell her?”
Derek shrugged. “I can’t be sure of anything.”
“It’s because you’re hot,” Mason said matter-of-factly. Hannah bristled at the thought. Was that the reason he bothered with her?
“That may be part of it.” Derek nodded. “I haven’t found a pattern. The women are older, younger, college graduates, high school dropouts, pretty, plain. I haven’t found the answer yet.”
“And you won’t if you keep looking at it like that.” Kate finally attacked her martini.
“Like what?” Derek twisted in the booth to face her.
“Like it’s a quantitative issue. Men don’t cheat because the woman is thinner or younger or prettier. They cheat because of the way she makes them feel.” Kate finished her martini and set it down emphatically on the table.
Derek’s eyes bugged out of his head as Kate turned to him and continued her tirade. “How she appears to the rest of the world doesn’t matter. As long as she makes him feel alive, makes him feel the things he can’t or won’t at home. He’ll tell himself it’s just about the sex, uses the old a-man-has-certain-needs line so often he begins to believe it. But it’s rarely about sex at all. Men gravitate to Hannah because she’s beautiful and accomplished and driven, but they want to be with her because of what it means to have someone like her want them.”
“That’s what I said.” Mason drained his beer, absently looking around the bar, all but empty on a weeknight.
Hannah heard more than what he said. She knew Kate would put Derek in his place. Derek looked as if he’d been dumbstruck. His research was obviously taking a whole new direction.
With Kate and Derek occupied in their intellectual battle, Hannah excused herself and slid out of the booth, making a beeline for the ladies’ room. The wine had made her even more tired, and she didn’t have the energy to have an actual conversation with Mason. Her head might be a tangle of contradictions, but her heart was set on him.
Sitting next to him had brought it all back to the surface, the desire and the trepidation, the thrill and the anxiety. She had to leave before she did something stupid like climb into his lap and hold him until the world stopped spinning. She opened the door to make her excuses and ran smack into the broad chest she knew so well.
“Mason, what are you doing?”
“Waiting for you so I could apologize,” he said quickly. “There are a million reasons a guy would come on to you, not just because you’re smoking hot. I didn’t mean to make you feel like an object.”
“Should I thank Kate for that speech, or did you do that already?” Hannah stared up at his intense expression and tried to find the faintest hint of apprehension. The man was looming over her in a dark alcove at the back of a bar. He’d followed her back here, waited for her. Intuition should tell her to be afraid. Her instincts must be nonexistent, because she only felt an urge to wrap her arms around him and never let go.
It had been that way since the first time she’d seen him. No matter the situation, she couldn’t be rational about him. Not when she thought he was married, not when he tracked her down in parking lots and loomed in dark hallways.
He huffed out a quick breath. “You have to give me a chance to explain.”
She stood her ground, crossing her arms across her chest. “Mason, I’m exhausted. I just want to go home and get some sleep. Alone.”
“I haven’t been able to sleep, either. Every time I close my eyes, I see the bottle shattering and I’m all the way across the parking lot.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I just need you to listen, okay. You’re killing me here. You won’t return my calls, and it’s obvious you’re only here tonight because Kate made you come.”
Hannah shrugged. “There has been a lot going on, and this is my busiest season at work.” It was the truth. She had no time to spare this time of the year.
Mason peered down at her. “After what happened, you could manage a phone call to say you’re all right.”
“I haven’t figured out what I want to say to you.” And she didn’t want to answer the questions she was sure he had about Marty.
“I don’t want you to say anything, just give me a chance to explain.” He rubbed his hands across his face.
“I’ve been here all night.”
“We’ve been at a table with them.” Mason motioned to the booth Kate and Derek were in. Are they kissing?
“Mason, look.” Hannah absently touched his arm as she focused on her friend canoodling in the booth with his brother. Her heart melted. It had been so long since she’d seen Kate actually relax around a man. “She must actually like him. I thought she was doing this just to get us together.”
“Me, too. Let’s give them some privacy.” Mason pulled Hannah into an empty booth in the back. As she sat, he slid in next to her. It was only now that she was forced to look at him that she noticed how hollow his eyes looked, almost haunted.
He leaned in close, and his words washed over her like a waterfall. “I’m sorry. I wish I’d come right over instead of waiting in the parking lot. If I had, none of it would’ve happened. If I’d just pulled up, you’d be annoyed, but you’d have come with me, and he never could have gotten near you. Instead, I waited and watched because I thought you’d be upset.” He reached his hands into his hair and pulled it forward. “It could have gone really, really wrong. When I saw him start talking to you, I wanted to intervene, but I was worried about pissing you off, not keeping you safe. Which was stupid.”
No kidding. Hannah laid her hand on his leg. She couldn’t let him think he held any blame in this. “You did keep me safe. I shouldn’t have stopped to talk to him.”
Mason shook his head. “You couldn’t have known, Hannah. Ryan said the guy didn’t have any priors.”
“Ryan, right. Your brother the cop who has probably told your entire family I had an affair with a married man.” Hannah’s stomach churned, hating how a mistake she’d made a year ago continued to drag her down. She propped her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t escape it, and now everyone in Mason’s family would know her biggest regret. So much for first impressions.
“Ryan hasn’t told anyone, and he won’t, either. You didn’t know he was married. No one can hold that against you.”
“He’ll tell, and they will,” Hannah said without looking up. “Mason, I have to get past this stuff with Marty. I hate myself for it. I was so naive, so trusting.” She took a deep breath, tilted her head to look at him, and dove in. “And I’m watching it happen again with you, and it scares me. There are all these signs things are moving too fast with us. I don’t think I can do this.”
Mason’s eyes blazed like the center of a flame. “You cannot give him power over us.”
“I don’t want to. This is just all too much for me.” She fluttered her hands about as she tried to make the chaos make sense. “Work is crazy, I have a meeting in the morning to discuss what happened and it has me all freaked out, and everything about us is just insane. My sister is worried. She called my parents, and now they all think I’m in way over my head with you. Which I can’t really argue with. Ugh.” She rested her head against the cold Formica of the table. “I didn’t want to do this. I’ll never get any sleep now.”
“I didn’t want to upset you,” Mason said, gathering her up like a rag doll and pulling her into his arms. “I just wanted to talk.” His fingers in her hair pulled the tension from her body. Maybe he is magic.
“Let me take you home,” Mason whispered in her ear.
The words cut through her like ice. She stiffened and pulled away. Of course, that was all he was after.
“I’m not having sex with you.”
…
“How much did you drink, bro?” Mason asked as they entered the apartment behind the women. Derek was definitely under the influence. The way he looked at Kate made Mason wonder if he needed to turn the hose on Derek.
“He’s fine.” Kate took Derek’s hand and pulled him with her onto the couch.
Derek shot him a look he hadn’t seen since high school. Derek had better know what he was doing. Because if he pissed off her roommate and messed things up for him with Hannah—well, he was doing a good enough job of that on his own.
Mason looked around the room, but Hannah was gone. He checked her bedroom, found the door open a crack, stepped in, and quietly closed it. “They sure hit it off,” Mason said before turning around.
Hannah gasped, clutching the sweater she’d been wearing against her body. He should have worn nicer pants. Something pleated with a whole lot more breathing room. The seam of his jeans was no match for Hannah undressing.
Defiantly, she threw the garment to the floor. “What are you doing in here?”
Mason reminded himself to breathe as he leaned back against the door. This is what she wears beneath her clothes? He brought his hand to his stomach as he sucked in a breath. Flesh-colored stockings and garters and panties and a push-up bra. It was like Christmas for the eyes. He didn’t even want to blink.
His mouth went dry with wanting. There was only one thing to wet it properly. He stepped to her, and she held up her hand.
“Mason, I asked what are you doing in here?”
“They uh…you know, out there…” Damn. There wasn’t enough blood in his brain to form a coherent thought.
“Derek and Kate? Really?” Hannah shrugged and put her hands on her hips.
Not good. Shrugging made her breasts bob up and down, up and down. He took a step toward her.
Hannah’s hand came up again. “Whoa there, cowboy. I made myself clear. I’m not having sex with you tonight. This is underwear, Mason. I’m not trying to seduce you. It’s what I had on under the dress I wore to work today.”
“You always look like that under your clothes.” It was a resigned statement, not a question. Is my voice an octave higher than normal?
“I suppose so,” she said with a shrug. Not another shrug. Mason flopped down on the bed and covered his eyes.
“You’re going to have to give me a minute here.” He tried to think of something else. Something boring like Derek lecturing, except Derek was making out with Kate in the living room. No good. He heard her rustling through her closet. If she pulled out another number like the green one from the other night, he’d embarrass himself right there.
He pressed his hands against his eyes harder. “Hannah, please put on something that covers you up.”
“I’m not taking requests.”
Even breathing was making it worse. The entire room had that clean-laundry smell of her. The fifty states in alphabetical order. That should work. The throbbing slowly turned into an ache. He heard the door open and shut, and he took a deep breath.
He needed to make sure they were still on for Thursday, and then he’d give her the space she asked for. Which shouldn’t be too hard because he was working every day until then anyway.
“Either they left or moved to her bedroom,” Hannah whispered, closing the door behind her. Her face was scrubbed clean, and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. Mason was eternally grateful for the red knit top and flannel pajama pants. Though the body beneath them was barely disguised.
“Thank you,” he said without getting up from the bed. Let her tell him to go one more time.
“You can thank my mother. This was my birthday present last year.” She sat next to him on the bed and pressed buttons to set her alarm clock.
He sat up next to her and kicked his shoes off and across the room.
Hannah stood by the side of the bed. “I said you weren’t staying.”
Mason raised a finger. “No, you said we weren’t having sex.”
Hannah shook her head and moved the pillows off the comforter.
Putting his hands on his knees, he looked up at her. “What do you want to do on Thursday?”
Hannah pulled her ponytail tighter. “Mason, honestly, I was planning on spending the whole day in bed. This whole thing has really taken it out of me.”
“Fine by me. Yours or mine?”
“You’re incorrigible.” Her smile made her eyes sparkle in the dim light. “I have a list of errands I have to run, but if you want, maybe we could do dinner or something.”
Or something? “I’m glad you can squeeze me in.”
Hannah shrugged, getting up and pulling the comforter back as far as she could with him still on the bed. “This is how my life is during the holidays.”
“I know. I’m not crazy about it, but it isn’t forever.” He pulled his sweater over his head and stood to shuck his jeans and socks and toss them on top of his shoes by the door.
“Mason,” Hannah warned as he climbed into bed.
“What? You said no sex. I can behave, can you?” He patted the bed next to him and laid his head against the pillow.
She narrowed her eyes as she looked down at him. “I have to get up early. I have a breakfast meeting at seven.”
Mason turned his head and smiled. She’d have to tell him to leave. “I have to be in to work by seven. I’ll drop you off.”
She opened her mouth to say something, another protest maybe? But she bit it back and climbed into bed beside him. She rolled, facing the outside edge with her back to him. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close.
“Mason, I can feel you.” She wiggled her backside against his waning erection.
“Do that again, and you’ll feel more of me. How else could I respond to what you were wearing?”
She giggled, and he snaked his hand upward. “Hands off,” she warned.
He lowered his hand, stretching his fingers out so they splayed across her stomach and felt her every breath.
As he nestled her head beneath his chin, he realized he might actually be able to sleep for the first time since that night. With her in his arms, he knew she was safe.
“Mason,” Hannah whispered in the dark. “Did you plan this?”
“No.” He smiled into her hair. “If I’d thought of it before, I wouldn’t have worn underwear.”