Chapter 10
Austin
I compose and delete at least a dozen messages to Oliver on Grindr, pacing in my apartment and getting lost over and over in self-doubt and uncertainty. It feels wrong to have this conversation through Grindr, but I don’t have his number.
The flame of hope and wanting Luke lit in me at breakfast is enough to make me do something crazy. Which is how I end up standing in front of Oliver’s building, buzzing his apartment and hoping like hell I’m not making a fool of myself.
It takes longer than usual for him to respond to the buzz, so long I’m about to turn around and go back to my car in defeat when the intercom finally crackles to life.
“Who is it?” he asks.
“It’s Austin,” I reply quickly, my heart beating in my throat.
There’s a long pause, and I hold my breath. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting…
“Come on up,” he finally responds, the lock clicking open a few seconds later.
I realize how familiar this building has become as I jog up the stairs impatiently. But for a change, my dick is nowhere near hard; I’m too nervous and busy thinking about what an idiot I may be about to make of myself. Oliver’s door is standing ajar, but he’s not waiting for me like he usually is. Pushing it open, I peek my head in to find him at his easel in the living room. He’s stark naked, and my breath catches in my throat at the sight. His bubble butt tempts me to sink to my knees and bite a bruise into it and then spread his cheeks and eat him again.
“You paint naked?” I ask stupidly.
“Sometimes. It helps me get in touch with the emotions I’m trying to capture. Plus, it has the added bonus of not getting paint all over my clothes,” he answers, and I make a noise in the back of my throat that even I don’t know how to interpret. “Did you just come to admire the view or what?” he asks cheekily when I don’t add anything decipherable.
“I wanted…Um…I wanted…” I lose my train of thought as his ass flexes with every one of the movements of his paintbrush on the canvas. “I’m sorry, can you put clothes on or stop painting for a second?”
Oliver stops, heaving a put-upon sigh as he sets his paintbrush down and reaches for the pair of jeans flung over the arm of his ratty couch.
“I’m surprised you came by,” he says in an offhand way as he turns to face me.
“Did you not want me to?”
“No, things just got pretty heavy last time, and you seemed kind of freaked, so I wasn’t sure,” he explains with a shrug. “I thought you might be done with me.”
“I’m not,” I rush to say.
A slow smile spreads across his pink lips, and I have to fight the urge to kiss him. “So, you’re here to fuck?”
“Yeah,” I answer breathlessly, ensnared by the curve of his mouth and the lines of his still half-naked body. “Wait, no,” I correct. “I wanted to ask you on a date.”
“A date?” He repeats the word like it’s in a language he’s never heard before.
“Yeah, you know, go out for a meal together, make awkward small talk about our childhoods and hobbies. Then we go back to one of our apartments to fuck.”
He snorts a laugh and shakes his head.
“I know what a date is, Guy Friday. It’s just…I don’t normally do that. It’s terribly traditional and, in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t usually like that kind of thing.”
“I did notice that,” I agree. “I don’t usually date either, but what could it hurt? We already know we like to fuck. And we have fun when we’re not fucking, too. When you think about it, we’ve already been dating, we just haven’t put any official labels on it. And, if it doesn’t work, we could always just go back to fucking.”
“Huh, I guess when you put it that way, it does sort of sound like a win-win.”
“It does,” I agree.
“Okay, I guess there’s no harm in it. When are you going to take me on this date?”
“How about Thursday? I’ll pick you up and everything, like a proper gentleman.”
“Thursday? Wow, this will be a change from our usual. I suppose that’s fine,” he agrees, his lips twitching like he’s trying to hide his pleasure at the idea.
“Great. I guess I’ll see you then.” I can’t stop smiling as I start to back out of the room, afraid if I stay any longer, I might fuck this up.
“Austin, wait.”
I freeze in my tracks. “Yeah?”
“Do you want my number? If it’s a proper date, it wouldn’t do to message me through Grindr, after all.”
“Good point,” I agree with a chuckle, pulling my phone out of my pocket and handing it to him. As soon as he hands it back, I send him a quick message with an emoji of a paint palette and a flame so he’ll have my number too. “See you Thursday.”
Oliver
I manage to contain my giddiness until Austin is gone, letting out a little giggle and doing a stupid dance once I’m alone. I wasn’t lying when I told Austin I don’t date. It’s not anything I’m against in principle; I’ve just never found anyone worth the effort.
I turn back to my painting, my attempt to capture the feelings from the other night and heat licks at my skin. I thought for sure I’d scared him away, but instead, he wants a real, proper date.
I dip my brush into the yellow on my palette and add the dash of happy color to the passionate reds and longing purples already there. My chest aches with the overwhelming feelings my art always stirs up. My soul is on the canvas, and it makes me feel raw and vulnerable in the most beautiful way I can imagine. Not so different from the way I feel when Austin fucks me…or the way he looks at me. The floodgates around my heart feel like they’re cracking, threatening to let in all the emotions I’ve managed to hold at bay over the past few weeks. Emotions that have been growing stronger, getting to the point where they refuse to be ignored.
I strip my pants back off, tossing them back onto the couch and letting my half hard dick swing freely while I get back to bleeding my heart out on the canvas, the only place I know how to deal with all these scary, wonderful things inside me.
After another hour or so of painting, I finally get around to checking my social media accounts and my online store, finding a few more purchases that I’ll need to bill, wrap, and ship. In a strange way, my life feels like things are falling into place for the first time, and it’s all because of Austin.