GRACE

He dropped his arms and stepped out of my reach.

I stepped forward.

He held a hand up.

“Take you with me?” The disgust on his face, slapped me in mine.

The pain and anger in his eyes scared me.

“Yes. I don’t want to raise this baby here, in all of this.” I held my hands up.

“Grace.”

“No, I know this isn’t the time.” I headed toward the door. “Today is about Mattie, but as soon as it’s over, we need to talk and we need to get the fuck out of here.”

“Gracie.” He said, his tone full of sadness. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I spun on my heels and held on to the door for support.

“What?” A fire burned in my chest.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m back until we find out what happened to Mattie and make them pay.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“But …” I took a step toward him. “What about your plans? Your promise to your mother?”

“It’s doesn’t matter now.”

My heart sunk.

I needed to tell Mase about what happened, what I saw.

“Things are different now.” Mase walked toward me. “They killed my brother. My brother got shot because of me. Because I left in the first place. Don’t you see that?”

“Mase, no, that’s …”

“If I hadn’t have been so selfish and just accepted my birthright, Mattie would still be here.” He dropped to his knees. “I killed him Gracie.”

I dropped to my knees and crawled over to him. I held him to me. He squeezed me tight. I felt his tears drip down my neck.

He cried so hard. He cried for both of us.

When it was over, when his body had no sobs to give, he sat up and placed his hand on my stomach.

“I’ll protect you, Gracie.” He rubbed my belly. “You and Mattie’s little one. I promise.”

“It’s not safe here for me,” I whispered.

“It will be, now that I’m here.” He climbed to his feet. He helped me up.

“I’ll help you raise him.” He patted my stomach again. “We all will help you, the whole club and I’ll finish what I started and make sure this place is safe for all of us. Okay?”

Mase kissed me on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom.

I sat on the bed until my brain stopped swirling. I held my stomach, as if protecting my child from all of the shit in the world. Protecting him from the mess.

Mess.

I was on my own. It was time for plan B.

No way in hell would I raise a baby in the gang environment.

My father used to say. If you don’t like your current circumstance, change it.

I would never get rid of my baby, but I had to make them believe I had, before it was too late.

Mattie was laid to rest in true biker style. All the pomp and circumstance of a Presidential funeral with clubs from all over the east coast coming by to pay their respects.

Sadly, like when Mase left, things went back to normal pretty quickly.

To put my plan in motion, I had to disappear for a few days.

No one questioned it. We were all in mourning, hurting for Mattie.

The day after the funeral, I drove to a clinic in New York City. It was just across the bay, but a completely different world. I went in and filled out all the paperwork. I had to make it look like I went through with it in case Papa Scott had me followed. I even paid for it with his credit card.

When they were ready to take me back, I told the nurse I had changed my mind.

I checked into a hotel. I had a fake id. It said I was twenty-five. I paid for the hotel with the credit card.

Two days later, I turned my phone back on and watched the missed calls and text messages from Papa Scott, Mase, and Greta. I didn’t answer when they continued to call.

I sat in the hotel room for two days and didn’t step foot outside.

On the third day, I climbed back in the truck and drove back to Jersey City. I drove home and went up to my room.

Greta knocked on my door a minute later.

“Where have you been?” she asked.

“I just needed to get out of town.” I said. “Needed some time to myself.”

“How you feeling?” She reached for my stomach. I stepped away.

“I’m fine.”

“Papa wants to see you.” She lowered her head. “He wants you at the clubhouse now.”

“I’m really tired.” I crawled into bed and held my stomach.”

“I’ll tell him you’re resting.”

“Thank you.”

Greta left without another word.

I sat up and took out my phone.

I sent Mase a text message.

Grace: I need to tell you something. I hope you will understand.

I waited for a reply, but it never came.

I didn’t have to wait to be summoned to the clubhouse again; I changed my clothes and drove over there to get it over with.

The clubhouse was full of people, I walked in and spotted Mase and Papa huddled in the corner with the rest of the leadership of the club.

Mase was no longer a junior lieutenant. He’d joined his father in the brain trust.

I sat in the lounge and watched for signs, anything that would explain what I saw and why it happened. It all seemed like business as usual.

I watched Mase. He sensed when I entered the room, just like I did with him.

His face hadn’t changed.

The smile was gone. When he looked at me, I saw disgust and regret. I couldn’t explain either of them and it broke my heart and turned my world upside down.

Mase’s devotion for the club intensified. Maybe it was Papa Scott’s plan all along.

Derrick had disappeared. Not from the club, but from being in the middle of it all. I found him sitting off to the side, nursing something with a scowl on his face.

The other brothers let him be. I felt it in my heart that something was off.

I climbed up on a bar stool next to him. He brought the glass to his lips, but sat it down and turned away from me.

He stood up.

I grabbed his arm.

“Derrick, wait.” He looked around and slowly lowered himself back in the seat. Derrick’s normal model looks had disappeared under his ashen complexion and dark circles around his eyes. “You need to get some sleep.” I rubbed his arm.

“I can’t.” He slumped his shoulders and turned back toward the bar. He downed the shot he had left on the bar. The prospect working the bar looked at me and filled his glass again.

“What’s wrong?”

Derrick stared at me like I had worms coming out of my head.

“Mattie’s dead.” He said.

“I know and it’s awful and we are all grieving, but instead of turning toward your brothers, you’re in here downing tequila shots and getting pissed drunk.”

“We all handle grief in our own way.” He nodded.

“That’s what your training taught you.” I stuck the tip of my finger in his tequila and sucked on it. I’d done it out of habit, but again, Derrick leveled a look on me.

“What?”

“You’re pregnant.” He leaned in and whispered.

“Not anymore.” I said, grinned, grabbed his shot and downed it.

I wanted to spew the dark liquid as soon as it hit my throat. One shot wouldn’t hurt my baby would it?

I had doubts about my stupid plan.

“What do you mean?” he said.

“I’m not pregnant anymore.” I reached for the bottle.

He grabbed my arm. His eyes narrowed and then grew wide.

“What did you do Gracie?” He growled through clenched teeth.

“I got rid of it.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not going to have Mattie’s baby for him. Not with what I know.”

Derrick’s eyes grew wide. He jumped off the chair and pushed his way through people and into the main room of the house.

I lost sight of him and then found him huddling in my Mase’s ear.

Mase ignored me, I went to the next closest link to him.

I knew Derrick would run and tell him.

What I didn’t expect is for him to be huddled along with Papa Scott.

The three approached. I turned back toward the bar.

Goosebumps popped out on my skin. I didn’t have a chance to speak before Mase picked me up, held me against his chest and walked me out behind the back stairs into the alley behind the clubhouse.

He set me down and pushed me against the fence.

Derrick and Papa stood on either side of him.

Derrick’s eyes darted around.

Mase stared daggers into me.

Papa Scott chuckled.

“I don’t believe you.” Papa Scott said.

“I used your credit card to do it.” I spat at Papa Scott.

He narrowed his eyes.

“Gracie.” His head dropped. He lifted his head, pushed Mase out of the way with a growl.

He placed a hand around my throat. “You killed my family.”

My eyes grew wide.

I clutched at his hand.

I panicked as his fingers pressed on my windpipe.

I gasped for air, but nothing entered my lungs.

“How dare you disrespect me like that?” He punched me in the stomach.

I groaned as the world went spotty and out of focus.

“Dad.” Mase screamed. He pried Papa’s hands from around my neck.

He let go.

I crumbled to the ground clutching my neck.

I sucked in air.

My lungs burned.

My stomach ached.

I clutched it, hoping and praying.

He was probably no bigger than a peanut, but I had to get out of here. I had to protect him.

They continued a conversation above my head.

I rose to my feet.

“She’s not getting away with this, she murdered my grandchild and disrespected me and my family.” He yelled and pointed.

“I thought I was your family.” I spit between coughs.

He lunged for me, but Mase stepped in front of me.

My plan worked. It actually worked. I knew if forced to, Mase would choose me. I peeked over his shoulder at Papa Scott. His white skin had red splotches on it. He growled and paced back and forth.

“You choosing her, over your family?”

“No.” Mase said.

I flattened my back against the cement fence.

“I’m saying we need to get rid of her, but not here, not like this. There’s enough shit on us right now as it is.” Mase placed his hand on his father’s chest. Talking about me like I was nothing, a piece of trash sticking to the bottom of his shoe.

I caught Derrick’s gaze. He had the same expression on his face the night Mattie was killed.

“You take care of it.” Papa patted Mase on his chest. “You go with him and make her disappear.”

Derrick nodded.

”Your father would be so disappointed in you, Grace.” Papa Scott said. He shook his head and turned his back on me. No more words, no more insults. Just like that, he was done with me. Like he was done with Mattie.

He walked back inside. The door slammed and the noise resonated in my ears.

“Get the van.” Mase said to Derrick.

“Mase, man—”

“Get the fucking van Derrick.” Mase yelled.

I jumped.

Derrick scurried off.

“Mase.” I pleaded. My mouth snapped shut as he spun around and blocked me between his arms.

“Shut your fucking mouth, Gracie.” He studied my face and looked me up and down. He tilted my chin. He took care to make sure I was okay.

He leaned over, toward me. Before I knew it, he had bent down, grabbed me behind the knees and threw me over his shoulders.

The van pulled up a second later.

Mase threw open the door and dropped me on the floor. I opened my mouth, but he slammed the door shut before I could say a word.

I crawled up toward the front of the van.

Mase climbed in his seat.

“Where we going?” Derrick asked.

“The landing.” Mase said as if he didn’t have to think about it.

“We’re really doing this?” Derrick said under his breath.

“Mase, listen to—”

“Not another fucking word.” Mase said, but it wasn’t his words that shut me up this time. It was the shiny chrome 9mm pointed at my head.

It was Mattie’s. I had his in the center console of my truck. I never gave it back.

I sat back on the ground and crossed my legs, never taking my eyes off the gun or the man holding it.

I stared into Mase’s eyes, pleaded with him to calm down and give me a minute to explain. He wasn’t listening. At least not to me. He had his own agenda for the evening.

I took one last look, but all I saw was the cold hard steel not in the gun, but reflected in Mase’s eyes. I never thought I would see it when he looked at me, but it was there.

Hate.

Mase hated me and it crushed my world.

I clutched my stomach and hugged myself as I sunk back down on my ass. Never taking my eyes away from his.

I absorbed the hate and let it enter me.

I needed to use every bit of it if I was going to survive the night or the rest of my life.

Mase had orders to get rid of me.

He picked a fucked up time to start taking orders from his father.