Chapter Sixteen
Aleck felt a bit guilty for announcing it so bluntly when Delonna blanched and looked as if she might be sick.
“She’s dead?”
“Aye, she was only seventeen,” he said as he rummaged through the box. “I gave her this bracelet on her sixteenth birthday.” He touched the daisy charm and smiled faintly. “She loved daisies.”
Delonna was silent for a moment. “How did she die, if I may ask?”
“She was walking to the market when a drunk driver jumped the curb and hit her.” He said it feeling almost matter-of-fact about it now. The years had severed most of the pain.
“Oh my God…”
“Before the accident, I had no intention of leaving with my family to America. I loved Cassie, and in another year I would’ve turned eighteen.” He sighed. “We had made plans to marry.”
“To marry…” she repeated faintly.
He dug around in the box and pulled out a slippery piece of paper, unfolding it from the square shape it had been folded into.
“She was pregnant.” He touched the ultrasound picture, tracing the tiny baby with his finger. “She was not yet twelve weeks into the pregnancy when she was hit by the cabbie. She didn’t die right away, but suffered a traumatic brain injury—was brain dead, you see. She, along with our baby, passed away within a few days.”
When he glanced up, Delonna’s expression was a mix of horror and stunned disbelief.
“Aleck. Oh my God, I don’t even know what to say. Did your family know she was pregnant?”
“Only our parents, and they learned after the accident.” He shook his head. “There was nothing to be done for the baby, though. It was too late. My siblings never knew about the baby, and I hope they never learn. It’s quite a bit to take in, as you’re realizing.”
“Yes.” Tears brimmed her eyes now.
“I wouldn’t have laid it upon you either, Lana, but it seems my mother took that choice out of my hands.” He gave a bitter smile.
Why had his ma given Delonna the box? Clearly she’d known what was in it.
Realization sank in. He knew his mother well enough to understand that maybe she’d been trying to help. To help Delonna see why he was the way he was. Delonna had likely shown up at their flat earlier, and had probably still been in distress.
“I shouldn’t have opened the box,” she whispered. “This was your story to tell me and even then only if you wanted to.”
“Actually, when I came back to the flat tonight, it was with the intention of telling you about Cassie.” He set the ultrasound picture back in the box. “This is just a quick, more in-depth way of explaining, I suppose.”
“And painful.”
“Aye.” He didn’t deny it as he set the lid back on the shoebox. “Though much less painful now than it was back then. It felt as if me heart had damn near been ripped from me chest when I lost her.” He turned and walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. “So in the end I went to America and buried the past—quite literally.”
Delonna was silent and when he returned with a glass of water, he found her wiping a tear off her cheek.
“Can you maybe understand now why I fear you loving me?” he asked, searching her face. “Can you see why I can’t love like that again?”
She nodded, dropping her gaze. “I understand. Really, I do.”
Maybe she did, or maybe this topic was just so horrifying that she’d say anything to end it. He took a sip of water, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. Focusing on that for just a moment.
“You’ll never love anyone the way you loved her,” Delonna said, almost inaudibly.
No, he realized, she didn’t really understand. But maybe it was better that way.
“I’m sorry, Lana,” he said softly. “For letting you find out like this, and for this afternoon. I was a complete bastart to you up at the castle,” he admitted. “And I hope you can forgive me.”
“I do. But only if you can do the same.” She gave a poor attempt at a smile. “I shouldn’t have dumped that announcement on you like that. I think…maybe I’m just confused by everything. The romance of Scotland. Good sex. All that adds up, right?”
Did it? Or was she just trying to make things easier on him?
He gave a faint smile. “So where do we go from here?”
She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Where do you want to go?”
Where did he want to go? Straight to the bedroom. And maybe that made him a bit fooked up after they’d been discussing his dead girlfriend from his teenage years. Here was this woman in front of him who was vibrant with life, and who’d somehow made him start to care about someone who wasn’t considered family. It went beyond lust—he knew it, even if he refused to let it be love.
“I see,” she said softly. “Come on.”
Did she see, he wondered? But realized she did when she led him down the hall to their room and undressed him slowly and deliberately, then did the same to herself.
He did very little, too emotionally drained now, but his body awake with the need to have her. She seemed to know that and took control, easing him onto his back on the bed.
She was gentle with him. Touching and tasting him nearly everywhere, before taking his erection with her mouth and bringing him near to the edge.
“Lana,” he groaned her name softly, holding her hair. Closing himself off from the past and focusing only on the present and the pleasure Delonna was giving him.
When she pulled back it was only to move on top of him a moment later. To take complete control of the lovemaking and ride them both into pleasure.
When it was over and she was curled into his arms, he closed his eyes and waited for his heart to slow to normal. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling strangely vulnerable and so damn grateful.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, boss boy.” Her reply was almost a whisper, before she rested her head on his chest.
There was no other way to describe what had just happened other than complete and tender lovemaking. And as much as Delonna wanted to convince him her declaration at the castle had been bogus, he knew every touch just now had been an act of love. Knew by the way she gave herself to him so completely and intimately. The way she folded herself into his arms right now.
It simultaneously petrified him and sparked something inside his heart that had seemed dead to other lovers. He knew every day he spent with Delonna made him more in danger of falling for her—if he hadn’t already. He already knew her better than he had any lover since Cassie.
His blood pounded harder and a feeling of dread built in his belly. Love someone the way he had Cassie? He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go through that kind of pain again. It didn’t matter that it had been nearly twenty years; he could remember the pain of losing her as if it were yesterday.
He’d sworn to never care about someone that much again. Had done a damn good job at keeping the women in his life fleeting. Enough to satisfy the itch to be intimate with someone, but never long enough to fall in love.
And it really hadn’t been that long with Delonna, but apparently he hadn’t needed that long for something to click into place between them.
“I promised your mother we’d be there for breakfast.”
She was rather good with his parents. She was rather good at many things.
“Starbucks again?”
“No, she wants to cook.”
“You’re in a for a treat. Eggs. Tomatoes. Beans. Bacon—quite different, bacon from ours though, just to warn you.”
“I’m not picky about my meat.”
Another brilliant thing about her, it seemed. Why the fook couldn’t he let the past go? Move on and give them a chance?
She unfurled from his arms and climbed out of bed. “It’s too early to sleep. Want to find something to watch on TV?”
“Aye.” A bit of mindless distraction sounded perfect, actually. He slid out of bed and followed after her.
*
“How was breakfast?”
“Wonderful. And filling.”
Aleck watched as Delonna leaned back in her chair and pressed a hand to her stomach. She’d nearly cleaned her plate, which was pretty common for anyone eating his mother’s cooking.
“Good to hear. We’ve a surprise for you.” His mother stood up and left the kitchen, returning a moment later with a set of keys.
“What’s this?” Aleck asked when she made to give them to him.
“The car is full of petrol and you’re to take Delonna for a drive into the Highlands.”
Aleck frowned, casting his father an uncertain look.
“We’ll not take no for an answer, Son,” his da agreed. “We’ll manage a day alone just fine. Have done so up ’til you arrived anyway.”
“But we came to spend time with you and assist in Rodrick’s recovery,” Delonna said hesitantly. “I don’t need to make this into a sightseeing trip.”
“Nonsense. You’ve been helping out plenty.” His ma brushed aside her protests. “This is your first trip to Scotland, and who knows when you’ll get back. You must see a few things, dear.”
“We’ll not take no for an answer,” his da repeated. “Tomorrow I’ve an appointment you can drive me to, but there’s nothing we need today.”
“Right then.” Aleck grimaced and accepted the keys. “We’ll be back by nightfall to check on you.”
Rodrick eased from his chair at the table, looking stronger today than he had yesterday even. He waved away any attempts Aleck or Delonna made to assist him.
“No need to rush, Son, we’ll be just fine,” his da called out as he made his way down the hall. “Though if you could help me grab a towel from the closet here?”
“I’ll help.” Delonna was on her feet and down the hall in a moment. It gave Aleck the time alone with his mother that he’d hoped for.
“You gave Delonna my box.”
His mother didn’t even pretend to not understand and lifted her chin to meet his stare unwavering. “She had a right to know the ghosts she was up against if she’s going to love my son.”
He flinched and shook his head. “I would’ve told her.”
“Aye? Well, I couldn’t be certain.” His mother leaned forward. “It’s long past the time you let Cassie go, Aleck. Time to let yourself love again. You’re not getting any younger, and surely you want a wife. A family.”
“He’s settling in to take a shower.” Delonna returned from the hallway. “Refused any help other than handing him the towel.”
“Sounds about right.” His mother smiled. “Thank you for all your help, Delonna. You’re an incredible woman.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Delonna’s eyes had widened. “That’s, um, very sweet of you to say.”
He knew what his mother was doing and he wasn’t going to bite. “Thank you for the car and the suggested day in the Highlands.” He kissed her cheek. “We’ll be sure to have fun.”
“Oh, one last thing, Aleck,” his mother said quickly. “I almost forgot to tell you that your brother Colin called and asked that I give you a message.”
“Oh aye?”
“He said you’d be very interested to hear that someone named James has been located and arrested?”