Chapter Seventeen
“I can’t believe they found him,” Delonna murmured as they sat in morning traffic to get out of Edinburgh.
Aleck snorted. “I can. The wanker was stupid enough to send you a text message. I don’t care if it wasn’t from his phone, I’m sure with a little detective work he wasn’t all that hard to trace.”
“I’m so relieved. But what if…what if that other guy who has been harassing me doesn’t back off?”
“Then I’ll hunt him down and shove his bollocks down his throat. Simple as that, luv.”
She laughed, but her heart wasn’t really in it. Love. It had never bothered her when he’d used the endearment before, but now, when he was clearly so against falling in love with her, it stung a little.
“This traffic is just as bad as Seattle’s,” she said, to change the subject. “Which is why I live on Whidbey now.”
“It’s much lighter on Whidbey,” he agreed.
The traffic began to ease up moments later and soon they were out of the city and moving almost briskly on the road.
“You should stay with me still.”
She glanced at him, frowning. “Stay with you?”
“Back on Whidbey. Since you’re worried about the guy who’s been harassing you.”
“Oh.” She’d forgotten all about returning to the island and then actually going home to her rental she shared with Kenzie. Leaving Aleck’s place. It left her a bit hollow. “I’m sure I’ll be fine now.”
He didn’t answer, and a good amount of the drive into the Highlands was spent in silence. Part of it was her trying not to cry, and part of her was just being so blown away by the beauty of the land around them.
There were mountains and hills, some in brilliant shades of green, while some were more of a brownish yellow. Now and then some were snowcapped. The mountains held gentle curves, though some were more dramatic and sharp in their points. In one spot a deep dramatic valley ran between the hills and they parked to get out to look around and take pictures.
“They filmed a Bond movie here,” Aleck said.
“James Bond?”
“Aye.”
“I can see why. Here. Let’s get a pic.” She forced Aleck to do a selfie with her. It was the only pic she’d have of them together, and when it was taken and she stared at it, she could only smile as she noted how stoic he looked in the picture. He was the same as the child from years ago.
“Gorgeous,” she said, turning back to the view and stuffing her phone into the pocket of her jeans. “It literally takes my breath away. It’s so vast. So stark. I can’t believe people lived in these hills.”
“Me neither. Not nearly close enough to a Starbucks for me taste. Come, let’s get back in the car and drive to a nearby town to have lunch.”
Lunch was at a tiny town that really had just a restaurant and a store attached. It was cozy and completely unique, and after a small simple lunch, Aleck walked her over to a nearby pasture where a peculiar-looking animal was grazing.
“What is that?” Delonna asked, leaning against the fence. “Some type of bull?”
“What you’re looking at, luv, is a Highland cow.”
“A Highland cow,” she repeated and then something pricked in the back of her mind.
“Didn’t you once say I was more attractive than a Highland cow?”
Aleck squinted his gaze at the cow. “Mmm. I’m not quite sure I remember—”
“No, you really did. And if this hairy, red thing, obviously lacking a few brain cells is a Highland cow, then I should probably be a little insulted,” she teased.
“Well, if you must. But be warned, you’ll have hurt its feelings.” He smiled and cast her a sideways glance. “It’s different taking you here. Someone new to Scotland. My siblings and I come at least once every year or two.”
“I would too if I were in your shoes. Family would be the excuse to get me here. The scenery and charm would make me stay as long as I could.” She hesitated. “Would you ever move back?”
He didn’t answer right away. “I love Whidbey quite a bit, but I’ll never say never.”
She nodded, suspecting that some day he would indeed come back. Follow in his parents’ footsteps. But he would come back alone, without a wife.
Her heart did that little twisty and achy thing that was becoming all too familiar the last couple of days. The unhappiness that she’d managed to smother with the sights of Scotland was never deep enough buried. She’d had to come to terms with the truth.
Aleck moved to rub her back, the gesture comforting and without sexual intent. A few days ago it wouldn’t have bothered her in the least. Today, it was like rubbing salt in a wound.
She stared at the cow, focusing on the awkward and yet fascinating beast, and knowing what she had to do.
“Aleck?”
“Mmm?”
“I need to stop sleeping with you.”
The hand on her back stilled and the air between them was suddenly heavy with unspoken words. She couldn’t say more. Didn’t even need to, because clearly he had to know why she’d said it.
Finally: “I understand.”
He accepted it so easily that her heart split a little more and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. Yesterday when they’d made love she’d wanted it to be all for him. Bringing him pleasure. Bringing him peace and comfort with her touch. And in the process she’d lost a little bit of herself again, even as she knew it had been healing for Aleck.
They had four more days here in Scotland, and she’d be spending it out of his arms. Out of his bed. If she were going to survive without giving him another little piece of her heart, she had to nip this in the bud now.
“We can be—” she swallowed hard “—just friends again. Okay?”
“Aye. Friends is good,” he said quietly.
*
Between seeing more sights and helping out with his dad, the days passed quickly. It was the nights that seemed to drag on. Aleck had spent the rest of them on the couch, while she’d slept in the big bed. Used to sleeping alone, she’d gotten all too accustomed to being with Aleck. It was lonely, cold and depressing. She hadn’t had a good sleep since they’d slipped back into friend mode.
The morning they were scheduled to fly home, they said their goodbyes at the airport to Aleck’s mom. Rodrick had stayed home to rest, having said his farewells earlier.
“It was lovely to spend the week with you, Delonna.” Brenda kissed her cheek and stared down at her. “I hope you enjoyed your trip.”
“Of course I did. It was such a pleasure getting to know you.”
Aleck’s mom gave a slight smile, but her eyes were troubled. Delonna knew she had sensed things had taken a turn for the worse between her and Aleck.
“I’m sorry,” the older woman whispered, barely audible as she glanced at her son who was moving the luggage toward the airport doors. “I had hoped…”
Delonna hugged the other woman again and shook her head. “It’s fine.” It isn’t. “I knew going in what to expect.” I just completely ignored it.
“All right, Ma.” Aleck returned and pulled his mother into a big hug. “Good to see you as always. Don’t let Da be such a grump, and keep him active, aye?”
“Always do. Love you, Son.” She looked as if she wanted to say more, but Aleck kissed her cheek and then turned Delonna’s way.
“Ready?”
Delonna nodded against the lump in her throat. Time to go back to real life.
*
Getting back to normal was bloody awful. Not just because of the adjustment to the time change, but because Aleck was once again alone.
And with no one but yourself to blame, he reminded himself as he made his way through the pub, checking up on things.
“You look exhausted—go home.” Kenzie appeared in the doorway to his office several minutes later, her forehead wrinkled into a frown.
“I’ll head back in a bit,” he muttered.
“Have you even slept since returning?”
“A few hours each night, but my body is still all out of sorts from the time change.”
Kenzie shut the door to the office and leaned against it. “What happened between you and Delonna? She’s moved back into the rental—which is a really bad sign after you’ve just spent the week together in Scotland.”
“There’s no reason for her not to move back. The threat is gone, and… You know, it’s none of your fookin’ business really. It was just time for her to go home.” He almost made it sound like he’d kicked her out, when she was the one to leave.
“You totally blew it with her, didn’t you?”
Completely. But it was safer to his sanity this way. His heart.
“Again, none of your business.” He moved from his desk to kiss his sister’s cheek. “But thanks again for taking care of things while I was gone. Things went well?”
“Perfectly.” She didn’t look happy with the subject change, but went along with it. “The window was replaced and I think the excitement of being shot up actually brought in more customers.”
He grimaced. “Good to hear humanity’s thirst for violence is strong as ever.”
“You know James made bail.”
Aleck stilled. “He’ll be convicted when it goes to trial. Has he made any attempt to see her?”
“No.” Kenzie hesitated. “But he’s out there and could at any point.”
“Have there been any threats against her from that other guy?”
“No. As far as I can see, she’s safe.” Kenzie sighed. “But she’s not happy. She hasn’t left her room. I can hear her crying at times.”
Aleck’s chest tightened almost painfully.
“And she’d kill me if she found out I’d told you that. But I just knew you’d end up hurting her,” Kenzie continued quietly. “I warned her. I just, dammit, Aleck, it’s Delonna. Could you not have just left her alone in the first place?”
“I wanted to,” he rasped, thrusting a hand through his hair. His heart thumped quicker in his chest. “Fook, I tried. I really did. I just… I couldn’t.”
There was a heavy silence and when he finally got control of his emotions and glanced at his sister, she stared at him with dawning comprehension.
“Holy shit on a stick.” Her eyes were wide and her brows drawn together. “I almost don’t believe it, but I think you’re in love with her.”
“No.”
“Aye. Like it or not, Brother, it’s happened.”
“The fook it has,” he snapped, striding past her to grab and drink a bit of the pint he’d poured himself earlier.
Kenzie followed him. “It’s quite amazing how you can have so much advice, so much insight on your siblings’ love lives. Be so spot on sometimes, and yet be utterly blind when it comes to your own heart.”
He closed his eyes and tried to block out the wash of despondency that moved through him.
“You don’t understand.” He shook his head, his voice cracking. “I can’t go through that again. I can’t love someone that much.”
“I know how much you loved Cassie. How much she meant to you.” Kenzie touched his shoulder. “Maybe you never told any of us, but even as young as I was, I could see it. And I saw the change in you after it happened.”
He stared at his little sister, a bit amazed at how much she’d been able to surmise back then.
“Is it that you don’t think you can ever love someone that much again?” Kenzie asked, seeming genuinely confused.
“It’s not that I can’t love. Clearly I can. Some people you love by default, like family. But I’ve no desire to ever romantically love a woman that deeply again. So much that it nearly destroys you when something happens to them.”
“But that’s a risk we all take. It’s a risk I take every time Brett gets sent out on the boat.” Kenzie looked dismayed. “Do you really want to just grow old alone?”
“Aye, that’s the plan.”
“And you don’t want children?”
“I’ll have me nieces and nephews to keep me busy. You and Brett should start right on that,” he tried to tease.
She didn’t take the bait. “You don’t ever want a wife? A partner in life?”
“No wife,” he agreed, feeling strangely empty now.
“Then there’s no hope for you.” Unhappiness and disbelief shone on his sister’s face. “If I thought you could make it work with anyone, it would’ve been Delonna.”
“I’ve been clear to everyone what my intentions are in life.” Fook, why the hell wouldn’t she drop it already? His head began to throb.
Kenzie didn’t back down, but went toe to toe with him. “Tell me, to my face, that you don’t love her.”
“Dammit all to hell. I don’t love her, Kenzie,” he yelled, smashing the pint glass against the wall. “Do you hear me? I don’t love her and I’ll never love her. Is that clear enough for you?”
“It’s clear enough for me.”
It wasn’t Kenzie who answered, but Delonna. He hadn’t heard the door to the office open. Hadn’t seen her come in.
Her eyes were bloodshot and strangely devoid of emotion. She wore no makeup and appeared as if she’d been in the same sweatpants and hoodie for days.
Shame slammed through him hard, making him start to almost shake as bile rose in his throat.
“Ah shite.” He stepped forward. “Delonna—”
“It looks like I’ve made the right choice.” She stepped past Kenzie and held out a piece of paper to him.
He didn’t take it. “What’s this?”
“I’m quitting. I’m old-fashioned and put it on paper.” Her mouth almost twitched with a semblance of a smile.
Kenzie shot him the most vile, loathing look ever, but he couldn’t acknowledge it as he stared at Delonna.
“You don’t want to do this.” His words were unsteady as he reached for her.
She sidestepped him, dropping the paper on the floor as he refused to take it. “I do want to do this. I have to do this. I’m sure you’d rather not lose your moneymaker of a bartender, but you’ll find someone to replace me. Both at the pub and in your bed.”
That was a low blow.
“Aleck,” Kenzie hissed, clearly telling him to fix this.
“Don’t leave. I fooked up, Lana.” He caught her wrist as she tried to move away.
“No you didn’t, I did. I slept with and fell in love with my boss. I knew the risks involved, and I knew you didn’t want serious.” She met his gaze now, solidly and without judgment in her eyes. She tugged her wrist free and backed away from him.
“We can work through this…”
“I can’t compete with someone who’s dead. I said I loved you up on the castle and nothing’s changed. But since you can’t accept that love, and you clearly can’t return it…” She gave a helpless shrug. “I’m out, Aleck.”
“Lana,” he choked out, stepping after her.
“No.” She shook her head, turned on her heel and walked out of his office.
“Well congratulations,” Kenzie said, her voice low and shaking. “You’ve just let the best thing that ever happened to you walk out of your life.”
*
She could always turn to ice cream, but right now ice cream wasn’t really the patch for the hole in her heart. Delonna closed the freezer and then went to grab a tissue to blow her nose again.
Fortunately Kenzie was at work and didn’t have to bear witness to this ridiculous meltdown. Though she’d been there to witness the end of her and Aleck at the pub an hour ago, but Delonna had been so focused on just getting through that moment she’d barely noticed her friend standing nearby.
And now here she was with no job, no guy and no damn idea what her future looked like. Even though James had been arrested, the police had only recovered one thousand dollars of her stolen money.
Maybe she’d go look through the online ads of who was hiring. Though she knew she wouldn’t have much trouble getting another bartending job. On more than one occasion the owner of another bar had approached her. He’d made it clear she could have a job if she were ever interested.
The sound of someone unlocking her door had her glancing toward it, hope flaring in her heart that maybe, just maybe, Aleck had pulled his head out of his ass.
But when it swung open a moment later, she realized again how stupid she’d been. Both to hope Aleck would have a change of heart, and to have not bolted the door.
“You just broke into my house,” she said in disbelief as James stepped through the door and closed it behind him.
“Is it really breaking in if you gave me a key at one point?” He frowned. “Ah, you’re still crying over me? That’s kind of sweet. And weird.”
“I’m not crying over you, and haven’t you fucking done enough?” Vibrating with anger, she strode toward him and used all her strength to slap him in the face. “That’s for stealing my money, asshole. And ouch.”
She gripped her wrist and winced. Despite the look of surprise on his face, James didn’t look too put out. She’d never feared he’d hurt her, not now and not when they’d dated. He wasn’t the violent sort, just more of a jerk.
“Like I said, I didn’t really have any choice. I’m in a world of trouble, babe.”
“You sure are.” She went in search of her purse to find her phone to call 911. Maybe him showing up here was violating the terms of his bail. She’d sure try and find out.
James grabbed her purse from her hand before she could reach her phone. “If you’re going for your phone, I can’t let you do that.”
“Are you just really stupid or what?” she demanded.
“He’s after me. That bookie is after me.”
“Oh? Well then good. I’m glad his focus has moved from me to you.”
“He’s going to kill me, D. Don’t you care? I don’t have his money and he knows it. I spent most of your money just getting out of town.”
“And now you’re back because your stupid ass sent me a text and got traced and arrested. Sorry if I have no sympathy for you.” She reached for her purse but he held it over her head. “Give that back!”
“I need money.”
“You took all my money, and even if I had some, I sure as hell wouldn’t give it to you.” Her emotions were on overload from this morning with Aleck, and now this. “God, just get out.”
“Babe—”
“Don’t call me babe. Don’t call me anything. Just get the hell out.” She kicked at his knees and he jumped back with a laugh.
“Whoa, getting a little violent, D.”
“Get out, I said!” She grabbed a lamp, ready to swing it at his head.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Okay.” He dropped her purse and backed slowly toward the door. “Fine, I’ll go.”
“I hope you get life in prison!” It was a childish and completely inane statement, because even some murderers didn’t get life in prison. And this shithead had just stolen six grand from her.
“Can’t wait to see you at trial, babe.”
He was going to skip town. She saw it in his eyes. Motherfucker.
A moment later he was gone and out the door, and she didn’t have the energy to go after him. She went to grab her phone and debated calling the police, but then set it down again. What was the point? Right now she didn’t have the energy for anything.
Maybe ice cream and some shitty reality TV. Yeah. That sounded like a pretty good idea.
Encouraged with her new plan, she went to the freezer and grabbed the container. She pried the lid off, ready to devour the rest of the chocolate mint deliciousness and then froze.
“Son of a bitch.”
As if her day wasn’t shitty enough, she was completely out of ice cream.
*
Aleck was just getting ready to leave work when his brother walked into the back room at the pub.
Colin looked quite somber, and Aleck bit back a sigh, thinking news must’ve traveled fast from Kenzie.
“I don’t want to hear it,” Aleck muttered, lifting his hand. “I’ve heard enough from Kenzie as it is. I know I’ve hurt her, and I feel like a bloody bastart, but there’s nothing to be done—”
“There’s been an accident.”