My dearest Abhay,
Let me start this letter by saying that this is super dumb. We’ve been back together two whole weeks, and you’re sitting in the same room as me as I type this, so really, there is no need for me to type this, but fine, stop giving me the stink eye. I’m doing what you want. You win.
Speaking of winning, I haven’t been doing that a lot recently, have I? The crazy part about that is that I don’t even care. I like losing to you. At least for now, since it’s so new (again) but I’m sure it’ll get old real soon and things will get more competitive around here.
So, coming to the point – I’m writing this letter to promise you that I will never leave you (again) and this time I will keep my promise. In all seriousness, I know what I did was terrible. I realize what it must’ve taken for you to trust me again. So, this time, when I promise you that I will always love you, I mean it. When I tell you that I will never leave your side, I will always be with you, I will fight with you, no matter what happens, I mean it more than I have ever meant anything in my life. I’m not exaggerating.
I’m trusting you and giving my all to you again. I know you will take care of it. And I will take care of you.
Thank you, for giving me another chance. When you showed up at my door with your letter … my heart has never been so full. I would’ve been more nervous when you told me that I had to read the letter to find out your answer, but that stupid grin on your face gave it all away. You were never very good at keeping secrets, were you? (If you EVER try to cheat on me, please know that I will know. Please also know that I will find you, and I will kill you).
Anyway, so that day, as you grinned stupidly at me, I read your letter, rushing through it, but also wanting to slow down and savour every single word. Once the tears started flowing down my face, it became harder to read. Seeing that, you came closer to me. You held me from behind and read the letter with me.
And then I was crying too much and couldn’t see at all, so you had to take over and read the rest of the letter to me while you held and comforted me. Thanks for that. You da best. Jk. But no, seriously, you rock. (Get it? Because you literally rocked me back and forth like a child to make me stop crying).
Okay, sorry. Just tryna keep it light.
I’m glad you came to me with the letter that day. After reading it, I definitely wouldn’t have had the patience and self-control to sit down and respond thoughtfully. I would’ve just run to you. You probably would have sent me back and asked me to write this to you first. Seriously, why am I doing this again? It’s almost 2018. Who writes letters?
To wrap this up, I want to make some promises to you that I intend to keep. I will always, always tell you when something goes wrong. I won’t suffer in silence. I won’t shut you out. I won’t keep things from you and be passive-aggressive. I might be aggressive sometimes, but when I am aggressive, please try to remember that that is what you wanted. This is literally what you asked for and I have written proof. So, I’ll tell you exactly how it is. You can count on that.
I promise that I will never run away. I will work with you to resolve any problems that come our way. I will fight for us. I won’t give up that easy again. I will have faith in us, I will trust that nothing can be big enough to break us. We are a team. We are together in this. I will always remember that.
I will trust you completely. Like I did when I was nineteen. For this part, I’m going to be extra cheesy and share with you this poem (don’t laugh) I wrote for you:
NINETEEN
It’s a privilege
to fall in love
again
as if we were nineteen
To love
without conditions
baggage or reservations
trust issues and toxic scepticism
To be nineteen again,
a little crazy,
a lot stupid,
with an open heart
To be with someone
who makes you forget
all that’s gone wrong
all that’s broken
To love someone
with all we have
to love again
as if we were nineteen
Because we broke it once, this time we’re being extra careful. That doesn’t mean that it’s fragile. It’s not fragile. If anything, we’re stronger than ever. We can overcome a lot, but if there was one good thing that came out of this past year of misery, it is the knowledge that what we have is precious. That we have to work on it every day, because it deserves our attention. After all is said and done, the love we share is the only thing we have that matters. And I promise you that I will always love you and cherish what we have.
So there, these are my promises to you. I’m promising you love, honesty, loyalty, fight, trust, compassion, care and so so much more love. I’m promising you a lifetime. I’m promising you all of me, for always.
Hugs, kisses and a whole lot of dirty stuff,
Nidhi
PS: How cheesy was I on a scale of 1 to 10?
*
My dearest Nidhi,
Finally. Thank you for that. I am keeping this in a safe place in case you forget any of this and try to pull one over me.
From this letter (whenever you stopped making jokes for two seconds and got serious) I can tell that you are still very wisdom-ous. Your wise-ness shines through. Love the poem (seriously) and also the general cheesiness of the letter was well received.
Let’s hug, kiss and do a whole lot of dirty stuff,
Abhay